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Old 21-12-2002, 07:45:03   #1
Asher
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So it's true what they say, you give a straight man a sixpack and...

I was forced at gunpoint to go to a pub with my best friend (female mind you), her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's best friend.

After her boyfriend had about six beers, he got a bit too friendly. The glances lasted a bit too long, he smiled a bit too much, and he accidentally touched me a bit too much (getting up to go to the restroom he practically fell on me) and became way too touchy-feely when telling stories (I really don't need his hands on me as he tells his story)

And hence, the old gay wive's tale about giving a straight man a sixpack is absolutely true, in all cases.

Shame on you!
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Old 21-12-2002, 07:50:53   #2
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Methinks you liked it or you wouldn't have brought it up.
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Old 21-12-2002, 07:51:54   #3
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Of course I liked it, it was incredibly flattering.

He was a built rugby player with ALL OF HIS TEETH STILL!

But the reason I was grinning when he was doing it was because it was just so funny to me. I think he thought I was grinning because I liked him.
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Old 21-12-2002, 07:54:59   #4
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Wouldn't you rather have him be toothless?
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Old 21-12-2002, 07:56:36   #5
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Ohhh

Clever

You obviously take less than six beers.
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Old 21-12-2002, 07:58:41   #6
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You wish ... You'd have to put me into an alcohol-induced coma to get any from me.
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Old 21-12-2002, 08:01:56   #7
Asher
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Can the same be said for your ladyfriends
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Old 21-12-2002, 08:04:37   #8
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Haven't checked, and no I won't set you up with anyone.
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Old 21-12-2002, 08:12:12   #9
Asher
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Damn!

Just when I thought I might get some

Help me, Koshko, help me get some!!
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Old 21-12-2002, 08:29:23   #10
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This is fascinating, because you might start kissing.

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Old 21-12-2002, 08:42:29   #11
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SP is available for you
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Old 21-12-2002, 08:44:33   #12
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Feel the sting, Jon.

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Old 21-12-2002, 08:53:45   #13
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SP and I have previously consumated
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:18:07   #14
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It was beef. Mmmm...

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Or to take arms against a sea of bitch-ass motherfuckers
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:19:15   #15
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How about the old straight man's tale about gay guys trying to "convert" each and every straight man they meet?

I think you're engaging in a spot of wishful thinking. If he wanted to try playing the other side of the field, he wouldn't have done it when his girlfriend was there. No matter how drunk...
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:20:06   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Penguin
It was beef. Mmmm...

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I deliberately refrained from pointing out the pun. Jackass.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:33:02   #17
Asher
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Quote:
Originally posted by KrazyHorse
How about the old straight man's tale about gay guys trying to "convert" each and every straight man they meet?
This is patently false -- they only try to "convert"* attractive men who are already taken.

Quote:
I think you're engaging in a spot of wishful thinking. If he wanted to try playing the other side of the field, he wouldn't have done it when his girlfriend was there. No matter how drunk...
I know when I'm being hit on, KH. It wasn't wishful thinking.
And didn't I mention he was a rugby player? He ain't too bright.

In fact he's entirely not my type to begin with.

* convert means show them their inner-homo
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:38:00   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by Asher
This is patently false -- they only try to "convert"* attractive men who are already taken.
Sorry. I was thinking about it from my perspective.


Quote:
I know when I'm being hit on, KH. It wasn't wishful thinking.
And didn't I mention he was a rugby player? He ain't too bright.

In fact he's entirely not my type to begin with.

* convert means show them their inner-homo
I don't mind it when it's fit, tight young things, but when it's dwarf Filipinos and oversized, drunk desperate Quebecois is when I draw the line...

"Give him five to seven years and he'll discover he's queer"

Big Gay Pat to my girlfriend
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:40:25   #19
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I refuse to go to gay bars because gay people scare me.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:41:43   #20
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In my experience, if you give a straight man a six-pack the night will end up with him holding you in a head-lock and slurring "I fucking love you. You're my besht mate."

Strangely enough, I don't read sexual overtones into it. I think Asher just hasn't been out drinking enough.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:43:26   #21
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Pubs are just disturbing places in general.

I shower when I get home and I still smell like cigarette smoke.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:45:49   #22
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If the guy is drunk enough to do that after six beer, then he might just be a bit on the queer side, actually.

*Is glad Boris from Poly isn't here to roast me on that one...
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:47:16   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by Asher
Pubs are just disturbing places in general.

I shower when I get home and I still smell like cigarette smoke.
You obviously don't drink enough. When I get home I stumble into bed, fall asleep with my clothes on and wake up 14 hours later...
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:47:18   #24
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I know the vast majority of straight men wouldn't go for it.

I just know that some "straight" men aren't as straight as they like to think they are, and once the alcohol begins to widdle down their inhibitions they start to realize it, until the next morning.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:47:45   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by KrazyHorse
You obviously don't drink enough. When I get home I stumble into bed, fall asleep with my clothes on and wake up 14 hours later...
I didn't drink at all.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:48:10   #26
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No shit, man. But a lot of gay guys I know are convinced that every straight guy is just fooling himself and wants their man-meat...
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:48:43   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by Asher
I didn't drink at all.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:48:43   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by KrazyHorse
If the guy is drunk enough to do that after six beer, then he might just be a bit on the queer side, actually.

Do you get Special Brew in Canada? It's about 8-9% ABV.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:49:42   #29
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Originally posted by KrazyHorse
Well, someone has to drive...
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:51:51   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by KrazyHorse
No shit, man. But a lot of gay guys I know are convinced that every straight guy is just fooling himself and wants their man-meat...
I honestly can't stand most gay men.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:53:11   #31
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Do you get Special Brew in Canada? It's about 8-9% ABV.
Blech. We've got similar, but I don't drink it. 5-6.5% is normal range.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:55:44   #32
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What I hate is the girls who drink like a (as in ONE) 4% mixeddrink of some sort and then complain that all that drinking gave them a headache and even pretend to be drunk off of it.

Who do they think they're fooling?

I know two such girls and it annoys me to no end. I want to slap them, but I'm a nice guy, so I smile and play along.
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Old 21-12-2002, 09:58:52   #33
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I know the type. Girls who actually drink are a lot more fun...
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Old 21-12-2002, 10:01:08   #34
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Speaking of which, I once watched my girlfriend drain 5 oz of JD Old No. 7 rotgut and politely ask for more. Then she stumbled around my apartment giggling hysterically and dropping things...
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Old 21-12-2002, 10:05:34   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by KrazyHorse
I deliberately refrained from pointing out the pun. Jackass.
You're veritably prophetic.

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Or to take arms against a sea of bitch-ass motherfuckers
And by opposing fuck them up?

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Old 21-12-2002, 10:06:45   #36
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I'm feeling aggressive today. Ignore me.
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Old 21-12-2002, 10:09:02   #37
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That would be a waste of time, since I would only stop ignoring you the next time I was curious as to what you were saying.

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Whether 'tis nobler in the plane to suffer
The asps and adders of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of bitch-ass motherfuckers
And by opposing fuck them up?

-- Samuel L. Jackson as Hamlet
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Old 21-12-2002, 10:12:00   #38
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Quote:
Originally posted by KrazyHorse
Speaking of which, I once watched my girlfriend drain 5 oz of JD Old No. 7 rotgut and politely ask for more. Then she stumbled around my apartment giggling hysterically and dropping things...

You got yourself a keeper there.
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Old 21-12-2002, 12:11:34   #39
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I'm glad she doesn't come here...
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Old 21-12-2002, 17:56:01   #40
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I've seen guys become a helluva lot friendlier when they're a bit loaded, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're desirous of my poop chute.
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Old 21-12-2002, 18:02:45   #41
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I flirt with some of my gay friends sometimes, it's no biggie, we just have a laugh
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Old 21-12-2002, 18:08:57   #42
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I am freindly to guys when I am nto drunk

it doesn't mean I want to have sex with them, it just emans that I like them and want them to be my freind (usually they already are)

I feel much differently about women I like (although initally I am not sure if you can tell the difference in my behavior (Between the I want to be your freind behavior, and the I want to go on a date with you behavior)

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Old 21-12-2002, 18:40:51   #43
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Jon

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Old 21-12-2002, 19:08:21   #44
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Seeing as it was just one guy that's not much evidence to say all drunk males are gay.
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Old 21-12-2002, 19:22:41   #45
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Does getting drunk and fondling women make me a lesbian?
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Old 21-12-2002, 19:45:45   #46
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Asher there's always prison.
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Old 21-12-2002, 20:51:21   #47
Asher
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Quote:
Originally posted by MattHiggs
Seeing as it was just one guy that's not much evidence to say all drunk males are gay.
Really Matt? Thanks.

I thought people would get that I wasn't totally serious when I insisted it was "absolutely true in all cases", and "shame on you"...
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Old 21-12-2002, 22:02:34   #48
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Hey, just let me have my moment. I don't post much things that are accurate.
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Old 21-12-2002, 23:44:02   #49
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I wish i could flirt with the girls I really like as easily as I can flirt with my gay friends.

I don't think it's fear of rejection as much as the fear of what happens if they respond favourably.

that's what ltrs do to you I guess.
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Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone else on the planet.
Jay: Shit, everyone knows that. Tell me something else.
Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
[Silent Bob starts to look freaked out.]
Jay: [to Bob] Dude, not ALL the time!
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Old 22-12-2002, 09:39:34   #50
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"ltrs"? What that? Don't understand.
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