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Old 28-10-2002, 10:12:57   #51
Funkodrom
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It's because we forget about things. What I can't understand is why the girls just don't phone us up and find out what's going on. If I say I'll call one of my male friends about going out or something and I forget they just phone me up instead. Which is great.

I'm so busy at the moment it's more like "I'll call you next week sometime".
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Old 28-10-2002, 14:14:34   #52
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you know, i dont know Funko? maybe its the way i was raised? If its a girl friend, i'd just call them on up, but if its a boyfriend, i feel like i may be intruding to just call after they said they would call. I wouldnt want them to think i was being pushy, ya kow?

then i again i'm not sure why i wouldnt, considering i'm very pushy! lol
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Old 28-10-2002, 14:21:42   #53
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"What I can't understand is why the girls just don't phone us up and find out what's going on."

That would imply they accept a low attention level from our side.

" i feel like i may be intruding to just call"

Is that the real reason ?
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Old 28-10-2002, 14:26:07   #54
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of course its a real reason

if what DS said is true, about it just being a brush off to get rid of you, then calling them the next day would definately be an intrusion
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Old 28-10-2002, 14:44:32   #55
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But is it better to sit around for days wondering about it or just call and find out?
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Old 28-10-2002, 14:47:55   #56
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If it's been a couple of days just fucking call. If it's been 5 hours...don't call. Your stalking.
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Old 28-10-2002, 14:50:14   #57
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Quote:
Originally posted by Darlin
of course its a real reason
But is it THE reason.
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Old 28-10-2002, 15:23:19   #58
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It's all game play, no one wants to seem too eager. And if you are vague with when you will call, after a few days you will be on the girls mind without having to do anything.
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Old 28-10-2002, 15:31:05   #59
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I never know whether to call the girl or wait

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Old 28-10-2002, 15:34:15   #60
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And sometimes I get really nervous about calling.
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Old 28-10-2002, 15:45:36   #61
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so do I

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Old 28-10-2002, 15:48:27   #62
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I never call because I know they really don't want to hear from me anyway.
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Old 28-10-2002, 22:20:49   #63
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Because pushy is clingy, and clingy is the fastest way to make sure he never wants to be around you, ever again, Darlin?

When its sex games, noone wants to look to eager. Heck, it's a ritual in parts of the US for the guy to say he'll call tomorrow, and then wait 3 to 7 days before calling, if he is interested at all. Just depends on the social circle.

When it isn't sex games... if you are friends, they won't really mind you intruding, will they? They are your friend, and that's just part of you. They can always tell you, 'Hey, I'd love to talk, but gotta go do {something}. I'll call you back later today/tomorrow, whatever.'

Here's a hint... if you are twigging over it that much, call and get over it. They'll figure out what kind of weird freako you are eventually, if you two are going to be together. Them clueing in earlier (cause you called them back in only 5 hours), just lets you see if you two are compatible faster. There really is someone for everyone. Heck, there's generally several someones....
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Old 29-10-2002, 01:43:48   #64
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Owkay, help me translate this please. I went to a bar in a suburb of Antwerp to celebrate the anniversary of a friend. There's this girl who lives very close to that bar so I send her a message to ask whether she was coming too. After an hour or two she returned a message saying “Sorry can’t come. Next time.” Any idea how to interpret this?
I’m going to a party this Friday with people she knows, so I was thinking about asking whether she joins us. If I interpret that message literally I think it’s ok to ask whether she’d like to join us. However, I think she currently already has a boyfriend and with “next time” she may also have meant “not within the next couple of months please”, and I don’t want to look pushy you see?
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Old 29-10-2002, 01:51:22   #65
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I'm reading that as a blow off. Abort mission.
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Old 29-10-2002, 01:55:20   #66
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kee-rect. Ask another one.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:00:03   #67
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no i'm not freaking out over it or anything DS, I dont actually have that particular problem at the moment, it just a hypothetical thing

Colon, i say give it one more try.. if she really meant next time, she'll try to be there this time, if she meant to blow off... then she'll have another excuse and you'll know for sure!
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:05:26   #68
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Now way! Don't embarass yourself! WAVE OFF WAVE OFF!!!!

Especially if she lived close to the bar.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:05:39   #69
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how about something like this:

thanks for asking me to have lunch with you, I am very busy with school work

I will email if a goot time comes up

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Old 29-10-2002, 02:08:13   #70
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When I say "tomorrow" I mean it, but I never say it -- I intentionally give nebulous temporal estimates ("Talk to you later" or "I'll call you in a coupla weeks or some shit" or "Have a nice life") in order to stay out of trouble. When they say "You never called!" I can just say "Well, I did say 'or some shit.'"
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:09:05   #71
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Jon, the 'if i got time' makes that one a blow off!
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:13:10   #72
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A goot time sounds kinky though. Call her back again and again.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:13:22   #73
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that was what I was thinking

(it is actrually I will email you if a good time comes up)

I am very bad with women

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Old 29-10-2002, 02:14:40   #74
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here is the paragraph

Thanks for the invitation to do lunch sometime, but I don't think
anything will work out for this week. I have an incredible amount of work to do, and so I will be stressed out trying to get it all done. I will email you if a good time comes up though.

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Old 29-10-2002, 02:16:29   #75
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beats me? i'm not too good with women either! lol
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:16:43   #76
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Seeing the whole context of the e-mail it appears she only means if she has time this week. You may have hope yet.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:18:03   #77
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Yeah well, I actually know her for a year or 2 already, with a lot of "I really really like you"-ons and "let's not have too much contact mmkay?"-offs, and it's always hell to interpret what she expects from me. I didn't see her a lot the past few months until Saturday when it was like "I'm so glad to see you again".
I don't mind if she just wants to be friends, if only I'd know for sure.

But I think I'll go with the abort mission and see what happens next time I bump into her.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:18:25   #78
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oh well that just sounds like she's busy and does wanna see ya but just doesnt have time right now .. sounds promising
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:20:30   #79
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Better safe than sorry. Especially if you're likely to run into her again.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:20:51   #80
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that may be a good idea Colon,considering the mixed signals your gettin. I dont know? i tend to be pretty forward with my feelings.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:22:02   #81
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FYI

My last post was a reply on Darlin's reply to my post.

Please mention my name when you reply to my last post, thank you.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:23:17   #82
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jon Miller part Deux
Thanks for the invitation to do lunch sometime, but I don't think
anything will work out for this week. I have an incredible amount of work to do, and so I will be stressed out trying to get it all done. I will email you if a good time comes up though.
The best possible response would be to email her back and say "I am a good time, baby," and include a picture of the Goatse guy.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:23:29   #83
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COLON!

My last post was for you Colon.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:23:50   #84
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Too many friggin replies!

But thanks.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:26:51   #85
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Colon, i'll remember to mention you specifically when replying to your posts, i just figured you'd know it was for you ... my mistake
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:33:25   #86
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Quote:
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Colon, i'll remember to mention you specifically when replying to your posts, i just figured you'd know it was for you ... my mistake
No no, you have been good.

It's Venom that has been bad. Bad Venom!
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:38:09   #87
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Ohhhh..... i've been a good girl!
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:38:27   #88
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I'm so very bad.
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:43:24   #89
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shame on you Venom.... *spank*
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:45:13   #90
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Old 29-10-2002, 02:50:56   #91
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Ooooohhhhhh KINKY!
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Old 29-10-2002, 03:06:00   #92
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More gratuitous advice (well maybe you are asking for it). When you ask one out, just be completely direct: "Would you like to go out for a dinner date, this Friday." The direct approach shows balls. If she says "no", fine. Just ask a different one. But I think you are more likely to get a "yes", if you just ask for what you want.

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Old 29-10-2002, 04:03:39   #93
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At the very least you know she's not interested so you don't have to worry about any stupid games she's playing.
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Old 29-10-2002, 04:35:22   #94
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Possibly sounds like she likes you but is really hanging out for an international football star to pick her up or something. If you have other options, I'd investigate those further until she can make up her mind better or get more self knowledge.

At the same time, the text and the emails are very straightforward and I wouldn't read anything into them other than what they actually say. (Unless you have other knowledge, of course, like she's just spent the last week watching T.V and has no projects on the go at all).

For the email, she's left it so that it's up to her to call you when she has time. Definitely abort mission.
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Old 29-10-2002, 04:36:46   #95
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Damn multiple page threads. Ignore what I wrote, Colon, if I'm too stupid to use a browser I definitely shouldn't be giving relationship advice.
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Old 29-10-2002, 04:47:32   #96
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What does it mean when they glare at you and say, "..."?

I only ask because it happened to a friend!

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Old 29-10-2002, 04:57:28   #97
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Usually either:

"I'm pissed off at you but I'm not eloquent enough to properly express my feelings without sounding like I'm just whinging about nothing."

OR

"If I say nothing and glare at you enough you will spotaneously start talking on your own about something you've done wrong that I know almost nothing about but which you think I do because I'm pissed off and glaring at you."

The silent treatment is a great way to get some people to confess.
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Old 29-10-2002, 04:58:58   #98
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Oh, good. I thought they wanted me to stop staring at their ass.

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Old 29-10-2002, 04:59:31   #99
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Or she might just be trying to give you a stare that was supposed to be full of burning sexual intensity except it came out wrong.
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Old 29-10-2002, 05:00:46   #100
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Asses are there to be stared at. Stupid looking animal like that deserves it.
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