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Old 09-08-2009, 11:44:40   #1
Lazarus and the Gimp
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Thoughts on losing one's penis

So I've taken up running this year, because I got fed up with being built to smash through stuff and fancied becoming one of those sinewy gazalle types. It's going OK- I'm getting a lot more stamina, I'm looking good, and nothing important has fallen off yet.

As a result, I've been steadily pushing out the distances. From a start of 2 miles, I had my first shot at 6 miles today, and for the first time Mrs Gimp came out running with me. Haven't tried that before, because she's a natural runner and absurdly fit- frankly it would have been humiliating.

But today I felt like it. It's our wedding anniversary, I was feeling more confident, and had visions of me skipping around the circuit, diving into the shower, and emerging like a pink and steamy greek god to say "Behold the magnificence, woman!"

What no bugger warned me about was that, as a result of my body frantically diverting blood around my body in a bid to stay alive, I finished the run hung like a hamster.

Yep, it's staggering. At that rate of winkie shrinkage, if I ever attempted a marathon, I'd finish it with a fully-formed vagina.
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Old 09-08-2009, 11:47:11   #2
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have a great anniversary
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Old 09-08-2009, 11:50:11   #3
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one tip for running
use one of these
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Old 09-08-2009, 11:51:51   #4
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and read this article
http://www.canada.com/topics/lifesty...6629599&k=2549
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Old 09-08-2009, 11:59:32   #5
protein
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it's one of the not often talked about side effects of strenuous exercise. a little pale baby penis for half an hour.
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Old 09-08-2009, 12:17:24   #6
Provost Harrison
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Yeah, I find running immensely difficult with my build despite the fact I am not in bad shape. I find swimming much easier.
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Old 09-08-2009, 12:48:32   #7
Lazarus and the Gimp
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At the start, I had big problems with lactic acid. I'd run two miles and then spend the next half-hour shaking uncontrollably and trying not to throw up.

I think I've developed more slow-twitch muscle fibres since then, as I don't get that problem while running any more.
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Old 09-08-2009, 13:15:46   #8
protein
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i find that i get a smacky buzz after running/martial arts and can't concentrate fully for the rest of the day. i've thrown up a few times from training too hard too. i don't know if that's the morphine-like chemical release or just jiggling my stomache contents.
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Old 09-08-2009, 13:20:31   #9
Provost Harrison
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Whatever that effect is that people have, I have a complete absence of it. I can have a rigorous workout but I just return to normal afterwards.
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Old 09-08-2009, 13:30:34   #10
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define normal
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Old 09-08-2009, 15:03:48   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lazarus and the Gimp View Post
At the start, I had big problems with lactic acid. I'd run two miles and then spend the next half-hour shaking uncontrollably and trying not to throw up.

I think I've developed more slow-twitch muscle fibres since then, as I don't get that problem while running any more.
Um, what does Lactic Acid and slow twitch muscle fibres have to do with the shakes and wanting to throw up? Sounds to me like you just pushed yourself too hard too fast...

Though I am no doctor, that doesn't sound anything like what I have been led to believe Lactic Acid is...
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Old 09-08-2009, 15:46:31   #12
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we must ask dr Vernon he's like Lurker, he knows
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Old 09-08-2009, 16:51:34   #13
Provost Harrison
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Excess lactic acid in the muscle will just lead to cramps. I had this problem in Mexico City trying to do exercise. Because of the high altitude (2300m) I couldn't go for very long without going into cramp.
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Old 09-08-2009, 20:07:07   #14
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The moral of the story: Exercise makes your dick shrink.
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Old 09-08-2009, 20:08:22   #15
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not true
orrr define exercise
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Old 10-08-2009, 08:12:33   #16
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Steroids
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Old 10-08-2009, 12:07:00   #17
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I have a bigger problem with my hamstrings still being shrunken to baby length two days after my long runs.

Cyclists have it worse than runners, those seats can actually be dangerous.
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