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Old 22-05-2009, 03:36:50   #1
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The Coworker

Our secretary is an idiot. She isn't trainable, constantly complains that she doesn't make any money, can't work a computer to save her life, can't file worth a damn, and is never at her desk to answer the phone.

Yet the bosses keep her on.

This thread will serve as the log of the stupid things she does. I'll call her Secretary.

Today Secretary threw a temper tantrum at the printer, which is located outside my office, because it would print her documents, about 100 files of 2-3 pages documents. She kept printing them. Because the power save was on the lcd screen wasn't on and she couldn't see that the printer was warning her that it was out of paper, despite the flashing red light. She figured it out after about 20 minutes (I knew after 2 because the printer also beeps loudly when it runs out of paper). Of course she loaded it with "the good paper" and then proceed to print the entire queue she had given it. Which was about 700 pages more than she needed before I decided to cancel the print requests.

Then, she spent about 30 minutes trying to figure out who created a sub directory (which she calls menus) in a root directory she had no business being in. I've been editing a large number of documents, and for doc control purposes have been saving the edits in to a sub directory while keeping the originals as and where is. I heard her ask and then complain to the two bosses, which took about 15 minutes each. She finally asked me, and I told her it was mine and not to touch. I closed out of all my files and then noticed by the end of the day that the last modified time was recent, and I hadn't touched it. I went in and found that she was formatting them, for some reason. She is now locked out of that directory.

Tomorrow we will see how long it takes her to figure out that I locked her out of it.

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Old 22-05-2009, 05:34:03   #2
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Old 22-05-2009, 05:43:05   #3
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But the movie "Secretary" was sooo good. Can't we give her another name like Mildred or Bertha?
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Old 22-05-2009, 05:46:00   #4
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No one ever likes Mildred or Bertha.

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Old 22-05-2009, 05:59:50   #5
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exactly!

didn't there used to be some game for stating the obvious? like own goal or something?
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Old 22-05-2009, 07:47:33   #6
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A PHd.
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Old 22-05-2009, 08:16:04   #7
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i check my hair at the elevator mirror and the highlight of my day when I say hi to a girl who's opposite of the elevator door at my floor. the one i went out with.
after that, it's the same old fucking thing all over again.
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Old 22-05-2009, 12:36:48   #8
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Bertha fits her stature
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Old 22-05-2009, 12:50:42   #9
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Die Dicke Bertha?

http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dicke_Bertha
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Old 22-05-2009, 16:06:50   #10
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A PHd.
Don't know that one, could you explain it to me?
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Old 27-05-2009, 16:02:47   #11
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so, would "own goal" be a PhD response?
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Old 28-05-2009, 16:59:57   #12
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What's wrong with Mildred?
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Old 28-05-2009, 18:07:32   #13
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she's the worst witch ever
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Old 29-05-2009, 15:58:55   #14
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Mildred the Mildly Retarded Witch
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Old 29-05-2009, 17:06:49   #15
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Just went to send a client some equipment specifications, went into the networked folder I we store them in to pdf' them and they were gone. In their place were templates of the equipment specification that Beatrice was working on... guess she forgot to change the name of the file before saving... or moving it to another directory... or anything.

Luckily I had a hard copy. She wasn't too happy when I asked her to retype them.
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Old 30-05-2009, 09:48:00   #16
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Can't you sack the retarded bitch or anything?
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Old 31-05-2009, 02:39:00   #17
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I used to work with a LAN admin who was so clueless that she gave everyone rights to everyone else's home directory on a new file server. And if that wasn't bad enough, she also changed the login script mapping so that everyone would see the root directory first. Not only did they have access - the fact was also waved in front of their faces!
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Old 04-06-2009, 13:24:25   #18
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Can't you sack the retarded bitch or anything?
I didn't hire her, I just have to tell her what to do and how to do it... sometimes that is an impossible task. The others are starting to realize this. Yesterday she almost had a nervous breakdown at the copier because it was giving her some strange error; "replace toner". She is also having a hard time adjusting margins on documents and has just asked me to print out all the drawings for a project, in triplicate, despite the fact that I pdf'd them for her so that she could print them. I don't mind helping ppl out with their job, but I do mind doing it for them.
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Old 04-06-2009, 19:52:20   #19
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aaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhh

I feel like Laz right now
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Old 05-06-2009, 07:55:28   #20
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You hammered your hand?
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Old 05-06-2009, 08:55:53   #21
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guess she forgot to change the name of the file before saving... or moving it to another directory... or anything.
I do that all the time, and it's annoying as hell.
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Old 12-06-2009, 19:25:22   #22
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I would have kept up with this thread but it was just to difficult. I really am questioning her ability to read right now as she can't take any written instruction, doesn't correctly follow verbal instruction, and if you stand there and tell her what to do as she does it you have to tell her 2-4 times in a row because she does it wrong each time.

Today she wore flip-flops to work. I know it's "casual Friday" but flip-flops? I always knew when she was walking around, it was worse than tic-tacs in the pocket.. flip! flop! flip! flop!
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Old 12-06-2009, 19:29:37   #23
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Old 12-06-2009, 19:30:54   #24
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A good old-fashioned grudge fuck will make you feel a lot better, Japher.
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Old 12-06-2009, 19:31:57   #25
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that's disgusting

she left early too, thank goodness
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Old 12-06-2009, 19:35:08   #26
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Old 13-06-2009, 15:24:43   #27
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I used to work with a LAN admin who was so clueless that she gave everyone rights to everyone else's home directory on a new file server. And if that wasn't bad enough, she also changed the login script mapping so that everyone would see the root directory first. Not only did they have access - the fact was also waved in front of their faces!
Thats a Sackable offence in my book
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Old 15-06-2009, 01:59:24   #28
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Fortunately, her contribution to the ethnic diversity of the company makes it all worth it.
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Old 15-06-2009, 08:28:06   #29
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Fortunately, her contribution to the ethnic diversity of the company makes it all worth it.
so sad this modern world, doesn't matter how good you are at your job its what boxes you tick in HR that matter
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Old 15-06-2009, 15:25:15   #30
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She's out today and possibly tomorrow. Apparently she was so pissed that her husband would rather spend money of HS girls softball than take her on vacation that she had to withdraw money from her retirement savings and buy a fifth wheel. It's okay though, she won't need her retirement, that's what long-term disability and medicare are for. Sponge.

Note, her husband does not have a daughter, does not teach at a high school, and has no affiliation with the school, church, or any other organization that would involve him spending money on girl's HS softball. He volunteers to coach it though, and I think that is disturbing.
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Old 16-06-2009, 11:08:38   #31
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he's lying and spending it on his mistress
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Old 16-06-2009, 16:33:32   #32
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:02:05   #33
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So, you cashed out your retirement account 10 years before you decide to retire to buy a 30something foot RV because the 20something one you had rotting in your backyard wasn't good enough. Now don't think I give a shit that you need to rent a bobcat to dig up your yard to lay concrete so you can park your retirement account on wheels and you don't know how to use a bobcat and you are worried about running into your house.

Guess what, I don't care. You probably will run into your house and take out a gas main and blow the damn thing up because your chain smoking sister who is trying to kill her transplanted kidney is to damn stupid to understand what that funny smell is.

Anyway, have a good weekend.
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:12:27   #34
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And this stemmed from her not asking the question.

She asked, "do you have anything for me to do?"
Me "No. Why? Are you leaving?"
Her "No, but I might leave around 4pm, we are renting a bobcat......"

Ok, "No" was the answer why are you still talking?

I guess I'm an ass, but was getting some good work done. Now my concentration is broken I will probably have an unproductive afternoon.
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:22:27   #35
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You have productive Friday afternoons? I don't believe you
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:28:30   #36
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I get my best posting done on Fridays.
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:28:37   #37
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so you're listening to all the intimate details of her personal life and still not getting any?
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:29:15   #38
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By the sound of it I don't think he wants to get any from her!
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:29:32   #39
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And even worse, I don't want any of that. If I did I wouldn't be complaining.
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:35:04   #40
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By the sound of it I don't think he wants to get any from her!

Then why is he listening?

It's horrible Japher, you didn't just let her prattle on and on while you made sympathetic noises, you listened and remembered... Venom will take your man card if this continues.
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:35:47   #41
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I did it so I could tell you.
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:38:11   #42
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wouldn't it be less painful to donate part of your liver to me?
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Old 26-06-2009, 17:55:38   #43
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My liver is damaged by choice.
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Old 26-06-2009, 18:08:56   #44
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uggggggggggggggg...

My other coworker is gone, and has been since I got back from lunch at 12:15, I left for lunch at 11:30. I had to ask when he'd be back, because it's 2:00 now and she tells me something and then finally tells me she doesn't know, but adds, "he's been gone a while, he left a little over an hour after you left for lunch." If that were the case I would have seen him now, wouldn't I? And if she's insinuating that I take long lunches, as she stuffing her face, she can shut it since I generally eat lunch at my desk while she goes out for 2+ hours!


I'm not going to talk to her anymore today.
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Old 04-07-2009, 17:08:08   #45
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She's out today and possibly tomorrow. Apparently she was so pissed that her husband would rather spend money of HS girls softball than take her on vacation that she had to withdraw money from her retirement savings and buy a fifth wheel. It's okay though, she won't need her retirement, that's what long-term disability and medicare are for. Sponge.

Note, her husband does not have a daughter, does not teach at a high school, and has no affiliation with the school, church, or any other organization that would involve him spending money on girl's HS softball. He volunteers to coach it though, and I think that is disturbing.
Go easy on him. He has to live with her, afterall.

Does he look like Al Bundy, by any chance?
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Old 09-07-2009, 15:02:47   #46
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He looks like Ben Stein.

She's faking sick today and I'm off tomorrow and all next week
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Old 10-07-2009, 13:07:22   #47
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Fortunately, her contribution to the ethnic diversity of the company makes it all worth it.
How did I guess that this particular employee you would be complaining about would not be white...
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Old 11-07-2009, 01:44:31   #48
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How did I guess that this particular employee you would be complaining about would not be white...
Well, DUH!!!
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Old 11-07-2009, 01:46:30   #49
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I'm curious. On a scale of 1 - 10, how much pleasure does calling me racist give you?
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Old 11-07-2009, 02:35:28   #50
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