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Old 23-07-2002, 02:35:23   #201
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and the Cbeast is claimed!
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Old 23-07-2002, 13:47:44   #202
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LoD, awoken by the sound of gunfire, looked around abstent-mindendly, saw the eliminated CBeast, sighed, and strolled away, firing a round from his weapon into the air while he walked, sending a spiraling beam of ionized gases towards the sky.
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Old 23-07-2002, 13:49:40   #203
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In a sane universe that would not have mattered much, but in this twisted realm a small faerie just happend to be flutter overhead.
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Old 23-07-2002, 13:55:59   #204
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Needless to say, the critter became a collection of scattered superheated particles a split-second later - faeries may be fireproof, but they're not immune to temperatures exceeding that of a sun.
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Old 23-07-2002, 13:58:08   #205
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The demise of a single faerie was a significant event as they were elemental parts of the universe.
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Old 23-07-2002, 14:00:21   #206
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The audience gasped in suspense.
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Old 23-07-2002, 14:02:14   #207
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To destroy even one faerie would open the interdimensional portal that they were the key to and unleash upon this dimension unspeakable horrors.
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Old 23-07-2002, 14:05:35   #208
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The audience gasped in suspense once more.
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Old 23-07-2002, 14:08:11   #209
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Even as they gasped a strange, new feeling begin to creep over the happy glade where once gay faeries cavorted in dalliance with sunbeams and all were happy save the eternally grumpy Trip and the evil dragon Smaug who were still part of this story even if they haven't appeared since scene seven.
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Old 23-07-2002, 16:48:35   #210
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Dark clouds were gathering on the formerly sunlit sky.
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Old 23-07-2002, 16:51:12   #211
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A strange electricity filled the air.
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Old 23-07-2002, 18:16:29   #212
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As great balls of St. Elmo’s fire crackle from mighty tree to mighty tree in the gathering gloom Smaug, with an evil, fang-filled grin, asks Trippin’, “Are you feeling lucky today punk?’
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Old 23-07-2002, 18:22:07   #213
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"You talkin' to me" - said Tripp' - "you, talkin', to me?"
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Old 23-07-2002, 18:27:22   #214
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It was a sad sight, one poster engulf in st. Elmo's fire, another talking to himself and the story going nowhere.
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Old 30-07-2002, 14:26:37   #215
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Suddenly, the fair faerie Venom rematerialized, chasing away the gathering clouds, and bringing happiness and sunshine back to the enchanted glade (much to the disgust of Trippin' of course).
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Old 30-07-2002, 14:30:25   #216
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The happiness just oozed from the faire faerie Venom's every pore like puss from a diseased yak.
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Old 30-07-2002, 15:17:50   #217
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Eastern mystics can do amazing things with puss from diseased yaks.
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Old 30-07-2002, 15:40:55   #218
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But of course, we'll spare our readers the details; besides, they can always read Kamasutra.
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Old 30-07-2002, 15:45:31   #219
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It is a well known fact, undisputed by modern science, that the puss from a diseased yak had enormous restorative qualities unmatched by anything modern medicine has so far devised so it was not suprising that the now puss dribbling Faire Faerie Venom was able to revitilize the scene.
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Old 30-07-2002, 16:14:39   #220
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Having regenerated the magic glade, the faire faerie Venom stopped oozing puss from a diseased yak and schemed to rid the glade of Smaug.
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Old 30-07-2002, 16:15:59   #221
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When your glade is infested with Dragons it is a serious thing and serious answers had to be found.
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Old 30-07-2002, 16:22:26   #222
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Sirius Black walks into the magical glade and asks, "Did someone call my name?"
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Old 30-07-2002, 16:23:59   #223
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"No!" replied the trees.
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Old 30-07-2002, 16:34:15   #224
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"NO!" replied the grass.
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Old 30-07-2002, 16:36:10   #225
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"NOOO!" shrieked the bacteria.
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Old 30-07-2002, 16:45:14   #226
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"Gawd damn it no!" cried out the photoplykton.
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Old 30-07-2002, 18:14:36   #227
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"Forsooth" - LoD expressed his consent on the issue with the rest of the animated (and perhaps some of the unanimated) matter.
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Old 30-07-2002, 18:20:12   #228
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Unbeknownst to LoD, but now beknownst to us, the word "forsooth" had special meaning here in the glade as it was the shortcut code word for rusty sporks and their insertion into the oriface where the sun doth naught shine and soon he had an expression on his face somewhere betwixt bemused and befuddled.
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Old 30-07-2002, 18:38:30   #229
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Indeed, the glade had many secrets of its own - another one was that the eliminator of a CBeast shared the same fate as the unfortunate soul who dared to say "forsooth" in this enchanted place; this effect was not that instant, but equally inevitable.
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Old 30-07-2002, 18:43:37   #230
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Unless, of course, the hunter knew the counterspell word of warding which reversed the attack and sent towards a species that could belch fire and the bagger of this Cbeast was most proficient in the ancient lore.
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Old 30-07-2002, 18:47:10   #231
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Unfortunately, suffering a memory lapse, Walrus failed to remind himself of the word that would save him from the sporky fate - until it was to late.
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Last edited by LoD; 30-07-2002 at 18:49:28.
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Old 30-07-2002, 18:49:34   #232
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But alack, it twere, as even a clever edit could not change the fact that the great Cbeast hunter Walrus knew all the right words.
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Old 30-07-2002, 18:50:57   #233
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Somewhere off in the distance a Dragon gurgled.
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Old 30-07-2002, 19:18:57   #234
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Yet, walrus, as much as his command of the ancient lore was proficient, it was insufficient to warrant the knowledge of a curse, triggered by the usage of the counter-spell word; a curse quite similiar to its "Forsooth" bretheren, however being irreversible, undisenchantable, and involving much rustier sporks.
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Old 30-07-2002, 19:24:22   #235
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But Walrus was steeped in lore beyond the keen of mere mortals and hid the knowledge well so the even rustier sporks were destined for yet another go at the only dragon currently inhabiting the glade as soon became apparent to even the most obtuse viewr.
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Old 30-07-2002, 19:29:38   #236
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Up to this point, the audience was driven so mad by the lack of spork-action to befall upon Walrus, that the director, seeing this, decided to cut to the previous scene - this time, with nothing to stop the sporks from anally maiming the aquatic mammal.
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Old 30-07-2002, 19:36:09   #237
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Nothing except that while the director may have wanted it that way the editor didn't and the sporks were redirected to interact with the dragon as previously planned and executed in scene six.
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Old 30-07-2002, 19:44:50   #238
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With that, in a virtual repeat of an earlier episode with rusty sporks, Smaug decided that being elsewhere was a better idea.
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Old 30-07-2002, 19:46:09   #239
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"Sorry Trip, you are on your own with the Faeries!" he said as he flew off into the distance, followed by a trail of what appeared to be utensiles suitable for use as both fork and spoon.
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Old 30-07-2002, 19:53:40   #240
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Trippin', with a bemused look on his face, wiped off the diseased yak puss, and began plotting anew to rid the magical glade of the faire faerie Venom.
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Old 30-07-2002, 19:56:36   #241
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"I shall not rest till this fair glade is rid of the foul stench of that most unholy fearie Venom!" he swore that oath to all the Gods he could think of, and then some.
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Old 31-07-2002, 01:58:10   #242
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'And Then Some' was a vengeful god who really, really, really, didn't like having oaths sworn to him.
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Old 31-07-2002, 03:31:44   #243
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But he was also a rather small and insignificant god and the slight discomfort Trip felt in his loafers was easily ignored.
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Old 31-07-2002, 11:49:41   #244
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But he was tight with the faerie god, so when Trippin' ignored his vengence, he took his plight to a higher authority.
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Old 31-07-2002, 16:53:45   #245
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The small other god made his way to the hall of Gods which was on the highest mountain in the world, inaccessible to mortal man, locked in the clouds since time immemorial...right next to the Starbucks.
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Old 31-07-2002, 17:36:14   #246
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In fact, the faerie god was indulging in a double capuccino mocha when 'And Then Some' found him.
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Old 31-07-2002, 17:42:58   #247
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"Oh please great God of the Gods," he intoned, "hear my humble petition and grant me a boon."
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Old 31-07-2002, 20:00:02   #248
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"Hey," smoozed the faerie god, "pull up a chair and get one of these double capuccino mochas...they're greeaaatttt!!!!!"
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Old 31-07-2002, 20:40:19   #249
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While such an invitation might be welcome in most quarters it was definitely intimidating to this small god as he surveyed the godlike proportions of the furniture at his disposal.
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Old 01-08-2002, 01:39:39   #250
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Snagging a booster seat and a nearby chair, the faerie god picked up the small god and dumped him into the seat rather undecorously, or so the small god thought.
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