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Old 15-07-2002, 19:43:35   #151
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Venom, taken aback at the venom in Trippins' voice, stamped her fair faerie foot and took off in a huff.
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Old 15-07-2002, 19:44:55   #152
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"Come back here you little Flambe bait you!" he screamed while running after the fleeing fearie.
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Old 16-07-2002, 11:38:34   #153
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Of course he ran funny because of the bout with the spork but he gave it his best.
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Old 16-07-2002, 15:50:28   #154
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His best shot it might have been but he pulled up short at the thunderous crash behind him as Smaug collapsed tothe ground in a fit of laughter only a dragon could muster.
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Old 16-07-2002, 17:10:09   #155
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"Laugh if you must!" huffed Trippin', "but there's a spork with your name on it out there somewhere and we'll see who laughs then!"
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Old 16-07-2002, 17:12:12   #156
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As was the nature of the magical glade a spork spontaneuosly appeared in the air looking for the next magical phrase.
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Old 16-07-2002, 17:57:10   #157
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It was soon then melted to a molten blob of metal by a certain panicked dragon's breath.
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Old 16-07-2002, 18:05:24   #158
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A very well paniced dragon as another spork appeared, hovering menacingly, as the magic of the glade was not to be denied.
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Old 16-07-2002, 18:10:14   #159
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'Tripp smiled menacingly.
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Old 16-07-2002, 19:31:47   #160
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"Now don't do anything rash my friend," said Smaug nervously.
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Old 16-07-2002, 19:35:56   #161
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'Tripp's smile became wider.
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Old 16-07-2002, 19:36:40   #162
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The spork vibrated silently.
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Old 16-07-2002, 20:07:13   #163
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Smaugs rectum tightened.
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Old 16-07-2002, 20:09:18   #164
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The spork vibrated even more silently.
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Old 16-07-2002, 20:19:19   #165
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Smaug's rectum tightened even more.
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Old 16-07-2002, 20:21:34   #166
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As silent as death on his best night the spork vibrated with such passion and waiting menace that the grass beneath it began to die and whither away.
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Old 16-07-2002, 20:26:20   #167
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With utmost discretion Smaug released some bio-gas, causing the grass beneath his rear-end to die and whither away.
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Old 16-07-2002, 20:29:13   #168
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Trip eyed him and said, "This is the most powerful spork in the world and you gotta ask yourself, 'Do I feel lucky?' we'll do ya Smaug?"
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Old 16-07-2002, 20:33:54   #169
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At this very moment the blob of metal that was once a spork started to form a shape at which sight Smaug wimpered in terror.
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Old 16-07-2002, 20:36:38   #170
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The mass whirled and ebbed, flowing about itself in synergistic orgasmic motion pulsing in synchopated rhythm, reminiscent of a Cha-Cha.
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Old 17-07-2002, 13:10:27   #171
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In a flash, quicker than a wink, the pulsating mass zipped to its intended target, creating a sight that, to say the least, has never before been chronicled by man.
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Old 17-07-2002, 13:12:18   #172
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Its, certainly more formed, counterpart quickly followed suit.
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Old 17-07-2002, 16:38:06   #173
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And then another, and another, and another until the Cha-Cha line of anal probing rusty sporks seemed endless.
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Old 17-07-2002, 17:16:56   #174
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In time, the rusty sporks having completed their mission, Smaug let out a sign and collapsed into a deep sleep.
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Old 17-07-2002, 17:31:56   #175
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The sign was 'do not enter' and the dragon really needed the respite from the rusty, anal probing sporks.
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Old 17-07-2002, 19:51:20   #176
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What Smaug didn't realize was that rusty sporks can't read.
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Old 17-07-2002, 21:09:19   #177
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The recumbant dragon, semi-concious, was repeatedly violated by the rusty sporks until the joke just died.
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Old 17-07-2002, 21:42:00   #178
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Unlike Smaug, in who fury was building up - a fury which rivaled in degree his abdominal pain.
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Old 17-07-2002, 21:47:20   #179
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But sine the dragon was Smaug and no longer smug, the fury was not showing itself very well.
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Old 17-07-2002, 21:50:18   #180
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To the misfortune of anything that resembled a spork in a radius of a thousand miles - and, to the shaken dragon, everything resembled a spork.
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Old 17-07-2002, 21:55:24   #181
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Needless to say the story was getting hopelessly confused at the moment so everyone decided to take a step back, a deep breath, and contemplated their navels.
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Old 18-07-2002, 11:28:45   #182
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The faire faerie Venom, pounting in the glade, eventually realized that she still loved Trippin' and got over her mad, and decided to go find her lovebug.
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Old 18-07-2002, 18:27:17   #183
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"Omani padre ommmmmmmmmm" was heard repeatedly from the dragon and Trip as they sat in the lotus position in the glade.
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Old 18-07-2002, 19:33:31   #184
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Venom popped in, noticed that both parties were quite relaxed, and decided to liven things up.
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Old 18-07-2002, 19:57:02   #185
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In the annals of burlesque there was a fan dancer, one Sally Rand, who's fan dance was well known and appreciated by the conescenti of the genre and the young Faerie Venom tried to imitate the great one but sadly lacked most of the talent and talents of Miss Rand.
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Old 18-07-2002, 20:31:55   #186
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But what she lacked in talent, she more than made up for in attitude!
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Old 18-07-2002, 20:40:12   #187
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In most walks of life attitude would get you far, in trying to gin up interest from a dragon and a relaxed psychokiller it only went so far.
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Old 18-07-2002, 20:43:31   #188
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But far enough to get a rise out of Trippin', who stopped his mantra long enough to peg a rock at the fan-dancing faerie.
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Old 18-07-2002, 20:45:39   #189
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THe rock was neatly ducked by the faeire which was fortunate, what was unfortunate was the fate of the small ducking directly behind Venom, the rambunctious faerie.
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Old 19-07-2002, 11:21:00   #190
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Indifferent to the fate of the ducking, (who's unfortunate rendezvous with the rock caused it to be scarred for life - a life ending on the run from the authorities because of the many mass murders perpetuated by the ducking due to his psychosis - but that's another OSS) the faire faerie Venom resumed her attempt at emulating Sally Rand.
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Old 19-07-2002, 13:09:19   #191
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"Damn you Venom!" shouted Trip, now fully roused from his meditations, "stop that right now, you ain't got the gams for the fan dance!"
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Old 19-07-2002, 14:23:23   #192
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Stamping her faire faerie foot in frustration, Venom decided that Trippin' was no longer her 'lovebug' and flew off in a huff, leaving him to his meditations.
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Old 19-07-2002, 14:27:35   #193
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"God dam faeries!" he said to no one in particular.
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Old 19-07-2002, 17:54:21   #194
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His voice trailed away into the distance and was heard, faintly, by another mysterious denizen of the glade, the Cbeast.
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Old 22-07-2002, 21:50:21   #195
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Deep within the deep, dark, dank forest of mighty trees that surrounds our magical glade lives the reclusive Cbeast with its wombat-like face and walrus tusks attached to a worm-like neck atop a horse or ass-like body sitting on wallaby hind legs with the feet of a penguin, wings of a chicken, the prehensile tail of a monkey and the noisy, annoying voice of and old warrior.
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Old 22-07-2002, 22:08:16   #196
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Or, to put it shortly, it's just ugly as hell.
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Old 22-07-2002, 22:25:38   #197
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Closing in on the abomination, a seasoned hunter for no apparent reason naming himself LoD, reflected that he must abandon the hunt in pursuit of satysfying some basic bodily needs, like sleep; realising that this effectively reduced to zero his chances of getting the Cbeast before the other hunters did, he released a deep sigh, sat on a fallen log, positioned his hand plasma accelerator on his lap, and gave away to Morpheus.
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Old 23-07-2002, 02:17:07   #198
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The Cbeast approached the sleeping figure, curious as to this new apparition and, as is their want, he got close enough to fill his enormous nostril with the odor of the intruder as to better place him in it's world view and taxonomy.
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Old 23-07-2002, 02:33:25   #199
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It was an unfortunate coincidence that when using it's enormous nostril in such a fashion it's other facilties to shut down and it did not notice the presence of...the other hunter.
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Old 23-07-2002, 02:34:41   #200
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In the leaves, hidden by the foliage, the great Kbeast hunter Walrus, another incarnation of the lightening bolt weilding figure from scene seven, waited.
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