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Old 23-04-2002, 19:38:36   #1
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OSS - A New Beginning!

It was a beautiful morning, the world sofly lit by the first rays of the newborn sun.
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Old 23-04-2002, 19:40:53   #2
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the morning dew glistened in golden splendour as the world awoke to the sound of small birds twittering in the trees and the rustling of early risers could be heard across the still moors of the barren Northlands country.
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Old 23-04-2002, 19:49:44   #3
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Old 23-04-2002, 19:49:48   #4
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The odor of napalm was closely followed by the roar as the stream of napalm was ignited, roasting the rustling early risers to ash.
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Old 23-04-2002, 19:52:01   #5
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"Well that's not something you see everyday" opined the old Geezer who lived in a tumbledown cottage next to the babbling brook which flowed down to the great river Emowtte which was the main avenue of commerce in the otherwise forbidding land that surrounded the glade.
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Old 23-04-2002, 19:58:43   #6
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Hmm...

There's something about Walruskkkch and The Last Lurker... but I can't quite put my finger on it.

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Old 23-04-2002, 20:05:35   #7
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Keep your hand to yourself.
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Old 23-04-2002, 20:22:17   #8
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"$#*& you," snarled Trippin' as he bent to his task of prepping his latest acquisition, the FlameMaster3K - adorned with chrome accoutrements and a polished walnut stock.
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Old 23-04-2002, 20:25:30   #9
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As he polished and polished and polished his weapon until it shone with the reflected brilliance of a hundred suns the little gnomes of the middle world watch in rapt wonder at the glorious sight.
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Old 23-04-2002, 20:43:35   #10
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Trippin', spying the gnomes out of the corner of his eyes, waited patiently, patiently, for them to overcome their fear of him and come out into the open.
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Old 23-04-2002, 20:45:37   #11
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These were wary gnomes that understood the dangerous nature of the world of the "large guys" so they stayed in shadows waiting...waiting...waiting.
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Old 23-04-2002, 20:53:44   #12
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Suddenly, the gnomes scattered like chaff befoe the wind and Trippin' heard a footfall behind him.
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Old 23-04-2002, 20:56:40   #13
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"Damn" he muttered to himself, "I've bet I would have finally gotten me a gnome today" as he turned to see who the fuckwit was that ruined his hunt.
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Old 23-04-2002, 21:52:46   #14
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LadyRachel breezed up and bussed Trippin' on the cheek and asked, "What are you doing out here so early in the morning?"
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Old 24-04-2002, 11:07:10   #15
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"Tryin' to get me a friggin' gnome," growled Trippin' as he resumed his polishing.
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Old 24-04-2002, 16:35:43   #16
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As LadyRachel watched him polish his piece she quietly said with a smile on her lovely face"I understand now why don't get gnome..."
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Old 24-04-2002, 16:44:47   #17
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Suddenly, a shot rang out and, ...never mind....
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Old 24-04-2002, 17:06:51   #18
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The bucolic scene was framed to perfection and would remain so if the special faeries who protected the glade could remain vigiliant.
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Old 24-04-2002, 19:50:34   #19
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Descending from the lofty crown of a majestic, ancient and sacred oak tree a faerie, on beautiful gossamer wings, alights on LadyRachel’s stylish black fedora and addresses Trippin’, “My name is Venom and my flamethrower is bigger than yours.”
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Old 24-04-2002, 20:18:37   #20
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Rather than rise to the bait, Trippin' just kept on polishing, waiting for the opportunity to get the faerie in his sights without the risk of singeing the fair LadyRachel (or pissing her off for that matter).
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Old 24-04-2002, 20:48:57   #21
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The Faerie named Venom looked at Trippin' with a most quizzical look as she tired and tried to understand with all her heart and soul why he was so intent on killing the fair faerie folk who defended the golden glade and made life peaceful and restful for all who inhabited its many hued precincts.
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Old 24-04-2002, 21:46:46   #22
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At that moment, Walrus appeared, still wiping the sleep from his eyes, looking for the source of that wonderful smell of coffee floating on the fresh morning air.
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Old 24-04-2002, 21:55:36   #23
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"Ahhhh, nothing says good morning like a fresh cup of coffee" he said to no one in particular as if he was in some cheap, coffee commercial.
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Old 24-04-2002, 21:56:46   #24
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Meanwhile, back at the Ranch
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Old 24-04-2002, 21:59:41   #25
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Faerie Venom still resided on the hat of the stunningly cute LadyRachel hoping with all the hope that her little heart could hope with that Trippin' would cease his anti-faerie activity and once again become the protector of all that was good and right in an increasingly unjust world.
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Old 24-04-2002, 22:02:07   #26
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Ming raised his eyebrow in surprise.
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Old 24-04-2002, 22:04:54   #27
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Which suprised no one as Ming was the epitome of evil in the world, a man so twisted by his unrelenting lust for power that all feared him and his henchmen as much as the good, happy folk of the golden glade.
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Old 24-04-2002, 22:06:36   #28
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The sheep were scared, they knew that the happy glade would become less happy when Ming visited and they dreamed restlessly of the happy day when Sparky had visited.
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Old 24-04-2002, 22:10:02   #29
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It would be a dark day indeed if the evil bastard Ming should appear in the glade for he had forsworn its destruction and would stop at nothing to see it laying in ruins, stop an nothing unless a hero could be found to champion the good denizens of the golden glade.
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Old 24-04-2002, 22:12:22   #30
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Far away in a land of rain, Smaug the dragon was feeling an itch between his sholder blades, I feel like I need to protect a happy magic glade he mused.
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Old 24-04-2002, 22:18:22   #31
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Smaug was an unusual dragon, unusual in the sense that he never used " " when talking so the unwary was never sure if he was just thinkg something or saying it out loud or what the hell he was about.
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Old 25-04-2002, 05:05:49   #32
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And a few hundred roast gnomes would be the perfect thing to start this century on, thought Smaug.
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Old 25-04-2002, 11:12:06   #33
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Trippin' threw a glare at the fair faerie Venom, uttered an obsenity, and went back to his cottage to perform his morning toilette.
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Old 25-04-2002, 13:38:51   #34
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He did not succed in arriving to his home however, as the humble little (and full of napalm, phosphorus bombs as well as other incendaries) bungalow was engulfed by an enormous explosion, the receding smokes hinting a dark, ominous human silhouette.
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Old 25-04-2002, 14:25:56   #35
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Sparkatron stumbled out of the debis, looked blearily at Trippin', then fell on his face.
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Old 25-04-2002, 18:43:13   #36
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As everyone knows dragons are particularly strange and irascible beasts and as Smaug crawls out of his damp and leaking gold and jewel encrusted cave, beginning his new quest for a sunny, bucolic, happy glade to protect from evil doers of all sorts, he continues to muse curmudgeonly, I wonder what ever happened to that beautiful young princess with the fabulous hat that visited my cave looking for new computer games.


*As we all know from the histories of Ursula Le Guin dragons, and wizards, have many names each one more secret than another. It is with some trepidation that I now reveal to you that Smaug’s hatchling name is ‘Shining 1;” “Shining” because of his fierce blazing eyes and “1” because he was the first one out of the nest so many centuries ago.

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Old 25-04-2002, 20:36:38   #37
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"Sparky!" growled Trippin', "How many times have I warned you about bein' around my stuff with those friggin' flaming pants!"
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Old 26-04-2002, 05:21:15   #38
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"Wha---" said Sparky, looking around.
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Old 26-04-2002, 05:22:10   #39
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After Sparky's brain settled down from all the recent shaking and battering in the explosion, Sparkatron realized that the instigator of his troubles was screaming at him.
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Old 26-04-2002, 05:22:49   #40
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"Hey you poor excuse for an American Butt Muncher!" Sparky screamed.
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Old 26-04-2002, 05:24:40   #41
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"It was your Cajun styled Texas Five Alarm Chili that gave me explosive diarrhea!" Sparky finished.
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Old 26-04-2002, 11:14:41   #42
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"Ah, %@*$!" muttered Trippin' as he turned away and immediately bumped into Dr. Pussy, evincing a scowl from her otherwise beautiful visage.
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Old 27-04-2002, 13:56:36   #43
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"Hey" he exclaimed "you aren't supposed to be in this story as we were trying for an entirely new storyline" as he hurriedly flew past her in a vain attempt to save what was left of the chili.
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Old 27-04-2002, 17:04:59   #44
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Sparky looked around, trying to see who Trippin' was talking to, but all he could see was the fair faerie Venom hovering in the clear morning air, the low-angled sun light sparkling like a prism on her rapidly beating wings.
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Old 27-04-2002, 17:09:46   #45
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Yes, the faerie Venom tried that old faerie trick of projecting an image from the deep recesses of a person's brain but it did not have the desired effect.
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Old 27-04-2002, 18:03:53   #46
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Both Sparky and Trippin wiped their mouths as they finished the projectile puking that exposure to the inner mind of the fair faerie Venom had caused them.
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Old 27-04-2002, 18:22:12   #47
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Leaving in huff the Faerie some call Venom sped away to her lair deep in the heart of the glade in a hollow old tree long weathered by the passing years and bearing a resemblence to a dog on acid.
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Old 27-04-2002, 19:53:55   #48
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On second glance, that log revealed itself to actually be the body of dog, weathered not so much by the 'passing years', but by frequent fits of hunger of the faerie dubbed Venom.
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Old 27-04-2002, 19:56:16   #49
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THe faerie badly dubbed into French called Venom flew on.
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Old 27-04-2002, 20:00:32   #50
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And on.
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