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Old 01-04-2005, 00:27:33   #1
Japher
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Babies are stupid.

Why does everyone look at me funny when I point out the fact that babies are stupid? I mean, shit! They ARE stupid. The don't know anything, they can't read anything so the chances of them learning anything useful anytime soon isn't very good, they have hardly any motor skills... It's not so much that they are ignorant, they are that too, but they are stupid!

I wonder if I'd get the same weird look I point out that grown adults who wet themselves, spit up food, can't talk, and blow bubbles with their own spit are also stupid.

When my kid is born I am going to get a shirt that says "I'm with stupid" and another shirt for my baby that says "Daddy's Schizo"
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:33:14   #2
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You're stupid too.
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:34:24   #3
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Takes one to know one.
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:34:54   #4
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I'll get Drekkus to confirm your stupidness then.
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:37:04   #5
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How do you know he's stupid?
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:38:22   #6
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miester g told me.
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:38:46   #7
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yah, he would know
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:46:21   #8
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I think babies are infinately clever. None of their neural pathways have been built but they have more brain cells and massive mental capacity. Their thinking is so random and powerful that they are like giant completely chaotic fractal supercomputers that understand everything in the entire universe but they can't process that information. They are in effect tripping their poor little nuts off, touching the infinate realms of the universe with their minds and not understanding a single part of it.

Actually, they are just stupid aren't they?
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:46:59   #9
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Kids are tripping.
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:47:22   #10
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Their thinking is so random and powerful that they are like giant completely chaotic fractal supercomputers that understand everything in the entire universe but they can't process that information. They are in effect tripping their poor little nuts off, touching the infinate realms of the universe with their minds and not understanding a single part of it.
The Ultimate Spammer!

Yup, not a baby.
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:52:41   #11
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I think kids are cute and one day I'd like to have a pack of screaming anckle biters. Of course because I am a typical male I'll probably pawn off as much child care responsibility as I can on my wife but I'll be happy to help out with the fun stuff.
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:53:53   #12
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It's going to be nice to have minions finally.
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:55:42   #13
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Japher: Son, get daddy a beer from the fridge.
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Old 01-04-2005, 00:56:58   #14
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When I catch him stealing a sip...

"Damn it son! If you want a beer, get one of your own!"
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Old 01-04-2005, 01:10:24   #15
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May dad did something like that to me when I was a kid and it made me sware off beer for years and years. I was like 12 or something and I kept bugging my dad and uncle for a beer since they were drinking one each and they kept telling me I wouldn't like it. I kept insisting I would so they told me if I opened it I had to drink the whole thing. To make a long story short they gave me one I hated it and refused to drink the rest so they locked me in the car (we were camping) and told me I couldn't leave until I finished the beer. It took hours and I hated every second of it. I disliked the experience so much I had maybe a half dozen beers in the next 9 years.

Then I went to college and became a virtual alcoholic like everyone else but that is another story.
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Old 01-04-2005, 01:16:11   #16
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Riiiiight. Does that not sound just a teensy weensy bit weird to you?
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Old 01-04-2005, 01:20:19   #17
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I agree. babies get too much attention for how stupid they are. we should ignore them as we do other retards.

yes, I know I'm setting myself up for a joke here. I do that on purpose.
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Old 01-04-2005, 04:26:08   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by Oerdin
May dad did something like that to me when I was a kid and it made me sware off beer for years and years. I was like 12 or something and I kept bugging my dad and uncle for a beer since they were drinking one each and they kept telling me I wouldn't like it. I kept insisting I would so they told me if I opened it I had to drink the whole thing. To make a long story short they gave me one I hated it and refused to drink the rest so they locked me in the car (we were camping) and told me I couldn't leave until I finished the beer. It took hours and I hated every second of it. I disliked the experience so much I had maybe a half dozen beers in the next 9 years.

Then I went to college and became a virtual alcoholic like everyone else but that is another story.
My parents let me have little tastes of wine and beer from age 5 (that's as early as I remember tasting wine, a tiny sip when we had spaghettii)
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Old 01-04-2005, 06:10:01   #19
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My two year old will drink a whole bottle of beer if given the opportunity.


He often gets the opportunity when his mother takes an unauthorized leave from her wifely duties to spend time with her accursed friends.

Quid pro quo, baby.
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Old 01-04-2005, 06:25:15   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by Funko
miester g told me.
Drekkus is a schjmart Dutchboytje.
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Old 01-04-2005, 06:29:46   #21
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Sad how being a non-native speaker reduces one to imbecility.

I'm sure my Spanish speaking employees think I've got the mind of a two year old.

"Tu trabajo con Luis, por favor. Bien!"
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Old 01-04-2005, 07:01:55   #22
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Babies are also borderline suicidal. You quit watching them for a minute, and they'll find something very dangerous to do.
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Old 01-04-2005, 07:15:51   #23
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I'm defragging or I'd post pics of my baby... I'm scared opf my comp
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