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Old 01-02-2005, 16:47:41   #51
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If they do, I'd like that!!!
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Old 01-02-2005, 16:49:08   #52
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The whole wedding party clubs together to buy one beer?
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Old 01-02-2005, 16:53:26   #53
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If they do, I'd like that!!!
Winterschlussverkauf bei Aldi!
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Old 01-02-2005, 17:10:17   #54
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Hooray! Even cheaper wine
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Old 01-02-2005, 18:20:39   #55
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Originally posted by Dyl Ulenspiegel
What do they do in Sweden? Get together for a happy looting party, like in the IKEA adverts?
I've not heard of it being done (people generally accept the twelve toasters, I believe) but then I've been to few "proper" weddings. I mean, in my brothers' yuppie* circles they all go for fancy white weddings with huge receptions and stuff, costing them a fortune so (presumably) they can live out some consumerist fairytale.

If I ever get married (next summer, fingers crossed) it'll be in my mother's garden with lots of happy guests, home-cooked food and a casual atmosphere.

*or is that muppie or something? They're both in their forties.
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Old 01-02-2005, 19:12:15   #56
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Old 01-02-2005, 20:54:51   #57
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you can set up travel voucher lists now so that th guests contribute to the honeymoon cost, which is ideal for those who have all the house stuff and want to go somewhere fab on honeymoon.
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Old 02-02-2005, 08:57:31   #58
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I've not heard of it being done
Standard procedure here. I used to think it's as common as the super market.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:03:44   #59
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It all reminds me of that South Park episode with Cartman's birthday.

"You were supposed to get me the Red MegaMan, now I can't make Ultra MegaMegaMan, you dirty cheap ass piece of crap!"
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:06:44   #60
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You don't have to get anything, and you don't have to get something off the list if you do.

If you do get them something off the list you know it's something they need and there's also the thing where you get family coming to weddings who you barely know and who wouldn't have a clue what to get you.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:32:25   #61
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Yes, of course, you don't "have to".
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:33:35   #62
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So... er... *confused*
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:38:31   #63
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I mean, you don't "have to", they're not gonna arrest you if you don't or anything, but as with all social conventions breaching decorum is... not done. In this case the social convention is cheap, greedy and vaguely narcissistic, but it's still a social convention and they're going to think less of you if you don't follow it.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:44:59   #64
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they're going to think less of you if you don't follow it
Bollocks. When I got married I couldn't have cared less about the presents. Strangely enough that wasn't the point of the day and I wouldn't have cared if no-one had bought anything, all I wanted was for people to turn up and have a good day. I can't believe I'm alone in thinking that way.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:47:35   #65
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You're not. But then I guess you wouldn't make a list. Because that sends out signals that it's otherwise.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:48:50   #66
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Oh wait, no, you did. That sent out the wrong signals.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:49:14   #67
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The thing about the store list, is that if there is one, then you do feel obliged to join in and use it. And you end up doing what I did which is buy an expensive vase (or whatever) that you think hardly shows what you spent on it, because it was the cheapest thing left unbought, with all other stuff being way over your reasonable price limit, presumably only on the list in the hope that some millionaire relative might turn up.

I think one needs to stress that the list IS only there to use IF YOU WANT TO when the invites go out.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:52:34   #68
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You're not. But then I guess you wouldn't make a list. Because that sends out signals that it's otherwise.
As a guest I just think it makes things a lot easier. And I never feel obligated or whatever by social pressures to do anything. It's normally "If you want to get something there's a list here... " end of story.

If I did feel I was pressured to get something I wouldn't. I'm contrary like that.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:52:52   #69
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A wish list is bad enough, but a store list? It's an insult to the act of gift giving. You might as well sell tickets to the reception.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:55:03   #70
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You're not. But then I guess you wouldn't make a list. Because that sends out signals that it's otherwise.
Actually I did, for purely practical reasons We already had most of the stuff we needed and didn't want people wasting their money on things we'd just stick in the cupboard and never use. What's the point in that? If people were going to spend money, they may as well spend it on something useful
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:59:05   #71
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The reason the store lists work - and make a lot of money for the stores - is because they record what's been bought already. If all guests had to be kept up to date with the status of each item on the wish list to prevent 10 toaster sydrome it'd be impractical.

I agree that they seem a bit crass. *shrug*

Whatever, you don't have to have a list, many people don't. If someone has one you don't have to buy anything off it.

Maybe there are some examples of extreme pressure to conform to this stuff in some families but I've never been to a wedding where anything was ever mentioned above thanking everyone for presents.
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Old 02-02-2005, 09:59:53   #72
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.

Actually I did, for purely practical reasons We already had most of the stuff we needed and didn't want people wasting their money on things we'd just stick in the cupboard and never use. What's the point in that? If people were going to spend money, they may as well spend it on something useful
Exactly.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:02:55   #73
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I'd prefer thoughtful over useful. Materialism is not really comething I'd want associated with my wedding.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:04:22   #74
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:05:02   #75
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One day I'll get the hang of this AE thing. One day.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:06:39   #76
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It's not materialism it's a tradition whereby peoples families and friends actively want to give the couple useful gifts to help start their life together.

As they want to do that anyway, this list idea just helps them get something they know will be actually useful. It's not about the couple trying to sponge as much out of their guests as possible.

I kind of understand what you're saying but I think you are taking the most cynical possible view of this and missing the practical benefits for the guests.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:09:24   #77
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I appear to have stumbled into the middle of a serious discussion between Mike and Scabby, both of whom I have pissed off on the sole occasions I've ever discussed anything seriously with them. Sweet.

I believe I accused Scabby of being a pussified self-hating man and Funko of being an Eskimo-hating bastard.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:12:23   #78
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I'd prefer thoughtful over useful. Materialism is not really comething I'd want associated with my wedding.
It's not materialism, it's not wanting people to waste their money.
As I said, I genuinely wouldn't have cared if no-one had bought anything but I knew people would and didn't want them spending money on me for no reason.
What would have been the point of 10 toasters sitting in a cupboard for years until they finally got chucked out? To me that's pretty much like throwing the gift back in someone's face.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:13:50   #79
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I appear to have stumbled into the middle of a serious discussion between Mike and Scabby, both of whom I have pissed off on the sole occasions I've ever discussed anything seriously with them. Sweet.

I believe I accused Scabby of being a pussified self-hating man and Funko of being an Eskimo-hating bastard.
I wasn't pissed off about that.

But miester gandertak and I did laugh about the fuss people made about us calling them Eskimos, ignoring the fact we were talking about beheading dozens of them.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:14:40   #80
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I know. Scabby really was pissed at me though. Called me a Neanderthal, I believe...

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Old 02-02-2005, 10:15:32   #81
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Even worse is that you assholes now have me saying "Eskimo"...
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:16:24   #82
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Well that's PC logic - you don't kill the niggers, you kill african people of colour or whatever the hip termininology is.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:16:28   #83
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I know. Scabby really was pissed at me though. Called me a Neanderthal, I believe...

I think it might have been a threeway with AH/s_s
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:16:32   #84
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So we won. Sweet.

If you'd called me a pussified self-hating man I'd have been angry with you.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:17:15   #85
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An angry pussy.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:17:59   #86
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You'd rather be an Eskimo-basher?
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:18:55   #87
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Or an Inuit-slasher?
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:19:51   #88
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Slight difference between objecting to an objectionable term in a joke - which I thought was all light hearted anyway - and a personal attack like that I think.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:20:29   #89
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Neanderthal-basher?
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:20:56   #90
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Seal-clubber?
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:21:01   #91
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BUT HE CALLED ME UNENLIGHTENED

just because I might have mentioned something about women being inherently inferior.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:22:27   #92
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I'm not sure I ever called you a neanderthal or unenlightened. Misogynist troglodyte fascist idiot, possibly.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:23:02   #93
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BUT HE CALLED ME UNENLIGHTENED

just because I might have mentioned something about women being inherently inferior.
Ah, I see. Well done Scabby then.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:24:37   #94
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I'm not sure I ever called you a neanderthal or unenlightened. Misogynist troglodyte fascist idiot, possibly.
Wasn't that the other canadian twat?
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:25:29   #95
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Both!
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:26:09   #96
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Oh.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:26:37   #97
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Other Canadian twat? Lurker?
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:27:28   #98
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I'm not sure I ever called you a neanderthal or unenlightened. Misogynist troglodyte fascist idiot, possibly.
Took a while to flush you out.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:27:55   #99
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Other Canadian twat? Lurker?
Drekkus.
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Old 02-02-2005, 10:28:42   #100
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I hate women, but love the Inuit.

Hmmm. I wonder what that means...
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