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Old 03-02-2015, 16:45:12   #1
Venom
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Fuck it. I'm doing it

Friday is my last day at my current company.

I am going to throw caution to the wind and ask the super hot HR girl out. Awkward? Yes. Seeing as how we barely know each and she is way out of my league. But fuck it, I ain't coming back to this place, so who cares!?
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Old 03-02-2015, 17:50:07   #2
jsorense
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Do it! Do it!
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"I wonder what became of all the Rockers and the Mods.
I hope they are making it and they've all got stead jobs,
Oh but rock and roll still lives on,
Yeah, rock and roll still lives on. "
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Old 03-02-2015, 18:44:56   #3
Venom
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It will be horrifically embarrassing when I get shot down, but I can just leave right after.
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Old 03-02-2015, 19:02:17   #4
zmama
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It's a plan!
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Old 03-02-2015, 19:06:08   #5
mr_B
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Fuck her
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Old 03-02-2015, 19:25:23   #6
Beta1
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yaaay either for going out with hot HR girl!

or

yaaay humiliation for Venom!
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Old 03-02-2015, 19:43:17   #7
Venom
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Everyone wins!
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Old 03-02-2015, 19:45:37   #8
Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Venom View Post
It will be horrifically embarrassing when I get shot down, but I can just leave right after.
I did this once. And can confirm it was super awkward. And I got shot down hard. But I'd do it again in a second. Because the one time you don't get shot down makes it worth it
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Old 03-02-2015, 20:14:21   #9
Venom
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Me on Friday afternoon:

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Old 03-02-2015, 21:48:04   #10
MDA
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Friday night:

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Old 03-02-2015, 22:33:46   #11
Koshko
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The problem with hot girls is that they have a reason to have standards.
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Old 03-02-2015, 22:36:30   #12
Venom
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You're counting on that 1 out of 5 chance they have self esteem issues or daddy issues.
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Old 03-02-2015, 22:41:37   #13
jsorense
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Go gettem tiger.
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"I wonder what became of all the Rockers and the Mods.
I hope they are making it and they've all got stead jobs,
Oh but rock and roll still lives on,
Yeah, rock and roll still lives on. "
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Old 04-02-2015, 01:26:19   #14
Koshko
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Originally Posted by Venom View Post
You're counting on that 1 out of 5 chance they have self esteem issues or daddy issues.
That's what I look for in women half my age.
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Old 04-02-2015, 15:04:43   #15
MOBIUS
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Did she have to do your exit interview?
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Old 04-02-2015, 16:45:04   #16
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You can earn the nickname F-16.
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Old 04-02-2015, 17:23:50   #17
Venom
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She did the exit interview last week, and it was quite friendly. We chatted for a bit afterwards, and it has given me inspiration. She's coming by to pick up my security badge and laptop and then I will STRIKE! And be struck down.
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Old 04-02-2015, 17:24:28   #18
Venom
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Funko View Post
You can earn the nickname F-16.
Yes! Yes! I will be the Lawn Dart.
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Old 04-02-2015, 18:11:59   #19
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She's married isn't she? If so I would take Mr.G advice on the matter.
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Old 04-02-2015, 18:22:55   #20
Venom
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Not according to my information. Like me, she is a marriage failure.
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Old 05-02-2015, 00:00:44   #21
jsorense
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Well, is it lawn darts or angel wings?
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"I wonder what became of all the Rockers and the Mods.
I hope they are making it and they've all got stead jobs,
Oh but rock and roll still lives on,
Yeah, rock and roll still lives on. "
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Old 05-02-2015, 01:58:36   #22
The Mad Monk
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It's...Wednesday.
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At least he died doing what he loved. Insulting someone else's mother.

I will crush you. With happy little apples.

I am a happy little sig. virus. Please put me in your happy little sig. so I can continue to happily replicate. A little.

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Old 05-02-2015, 02:04:42   #23
jsorense
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Originally Posted by The Mad Monk View Post
It's...Wednesday.

I work weekends so my time sense is distorted.
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"I wonder what became of all the Rockers and the Mods.
I hope they are making it and they've all got stead jobs,
Oh but rock and roll still lives on,
Yeah, rock and roll still lives on. "
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Old 05-02-2015, 07:15:58   #24
MoSe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fistandantilus View Post
She's married isn't she? If so I would take Mr.G advice on the matter.
so surely it must be FIRST punch her on her left tit?
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Old 05-02-2015, 11:16:36   #25
C.G.B. Spender
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Offer her money. A lot of money.
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Old 05-02-2015, 13:40:22   #26
Fistandantilus
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Can we place bets?
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Old 05-02-2015, 14:04:03   #27
Venom
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Please do.
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Old 05-02-2015, 14:05:00   #28
Venom
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I currently set the odds at 5-1 for success. I'm betting 10 bucks against myself.
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Old 05-02-2015, 15:38:00   #29
Venom
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Actually, let's expand this. Feel free to add any additional prop bets.

Venom chickens out and doesn't ask: 1-1
Venom lawn darts into a mountain of failure: 1-5
Venom succeeds, but gets fake phone number: 5-1
Venom succeeds outright: 10-1
One of the involved parties cries: 1-2
One of the involved parties runs from the room in fear: 1-1
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Old 05-02-2015, 15:42:39   #30
Funko
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$10 on someone crying and $5 on the fake phone number please

I think I can win both those
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Old 05-02-2015, 15:43:51   #31
Funko
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Fake phone number would be a classic HR move. Be really nice and pretend to be your friend to your face then go and stab you in the back, it's basically their job description.
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Old 05-02-2015, 15:45:13   #32
Venom
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And for some incentive. Who ever wins the most money, has eternal bragging rights. Whoever loses the most money has to write me a poem telling me how pretty I am.
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Old 05-02-2015, 16:40:14   #33
Funko
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Roses are red, violets are blue,
Venom's enormous and smells like dog poo.
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Old 05-02-2015, 18:08:42   #34
The Mad Monk
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I had no idea you were such a romantic!
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At least he died doing what he loved. Insulting someone else's mother.

I will crush you. With happy little apples.

I am a happy little sig. virus. Please put me in your happy little sig. so I can continue to happily replicate. A little.

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Old 05-02-2015, 19:11:14   #35
Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Gnawing at your brain
Do you take Dogecoin?

I'd put money on: success, and crying.
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Old 05-02-2015, 22:51:33   #36
Koshko
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What are the odds of Venom being sprayed with mace?
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Old 05-02-2015, 22:54:33   #37
MDA
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Depends on whether he remembers the motor oil and cotton balls.
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Old 05-02-2015, 23:17:33   #38
C.G.B. Spender
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I'll give her a call and I'll warn her.
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Old 06-02-2015, 13:06:57   #39
Venom
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Old 06-02-2015, 14:30:22   #40
zmama
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bunnies good
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The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep.
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Old 06-02-2015, 15:16:28   #41
The Mad Monk
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FIRE BAD!
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At least he died doing what he loved. Insulting someone else's mother.

I will crush you. With happy little apples.

I am a happy little sig. virus. Please put me in your happy little sig. so I can continue to happily replicate. A little.

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Old 06-02-2015, 15:18:55   #42
jsorense
Kinked Rockist
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In the '60s.
Just don't bite her . . . . (wait for it) . . . . yet.
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"I wonder what became of all the Rockers and the Mods.
I hope they are making it and they've all got stead jobs,
Oh but rock and roll still lives on,
Yeah, rock and roll still lives on. "
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Old 06-02-2015, 19:29:55   #43
Lurker
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One of the parties laughs uncontrollably at apparent joke, then cries for multitude of reasons. 1-10.
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Old 06-02-2015, 19:37:00   #44
Funko
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Venom's interview made the news:http://abcnews.go.com/Business/viral...ry?id=28773764
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Old 06-02-2015, 21:07:34   #45
zmama
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At least he'll get Sundays off work.
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The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep.
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Old 06-02-2015, 22:44:38   #46
MDA
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serve me up some of that hate-chicken!
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Old 06-02-2015, 22:49:46   #47
Venom
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In a stunning turn of events....NONE of the bets paid off.

Turns out, she was a no show, though I suppose that could be construed as running in fear. The "chicken out" bet also doesn't pay out as with my last act, I went full unprofessional and did the only thing I could think of, sent her an e-mail asking her out.

Bets still in play, lawn dart, but that has been moved to 1-50. And outright success which has been moved to 100-1.
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Old 06-02-2015, 22:56:20   #48
Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Gnawing at your brain
The suspense, while not outright killing me, is shortening my lifespan by several seconds.
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Old 06-02-2015, 23:56:56   #49
Venom
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This is the only story I have to tell. Unless you want me to tell you about painting doors.
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Old 07-02-2015, 06:39:19   #50
jsorense
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Location: In the '60s.
"It's my party I'ii cry if I want to."
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"I wonder what became of all the Rockers and the Mods.
I hope they are making it and they've all got stead jobs,
Oh but rock and roll still lives on,
Yeah, rock and roll still lives on. "
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