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Old 20-12-2011, 21:05:49   #1
devilmunchkin
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navigating the scary world of dating

entering in to week three.

Knew the guy from before I moved here so I suppose that makes it a little bit more ok.

I just have no idea to act. Are there certain rules to follow?

I already know I'm nuts - which has me stressed out because I really like the guy.

Though can you call it dating if you haven't officially defined what the relationship is? Do people define what they are anymore (when dating)?
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Old 20-12-2011, 21:53:33   #2
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I don't even know if the old definitions of what a date is even apply any more. If you meet someone for a coffee does that make it a "date" or a "meet and greet". How about the next time you catch up? Who knows any more? As for defining relationships, that seems to be a minefield these days. Some want it done very early, some just leave it unspoken.

As for the rules, they seem to vary. Having dated online for quite a while now, many people of both sexes seem to find nothing wrong in seeing multiple people at once until they make up their mind which one suits them best. At the end of the day, just be yourself and do what feels right to you. Not much advice, but it's about the best I can give.
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Old 20-12-2011, 23:39:40   #3
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Tell me about it. Ever felt you have done as much as you can but your best is never good enough? That's my position currently...
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Old 21-12-2011, 00:46:36   #4
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Greg: I can't do online dating anymore. When I was much younger, it was easy and I was okay with the distance. I can't handle that anymore. There also doesn't seem to be much of a success rate, which is not what I'm looking for.

I totally don't like the dating other people idea.

Provost: It is not the position I'm currently in, though as usual, I worry that I will be.

I have had the experience you speak of in most of my other relationships and even growing up. I have self worth baggage out the yin yang.

We can bemone my lack of social knowhow and your situation tomorrow or Thursday, eh?
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Old 21-12-2011, 00:46:41   #5
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I don't date. I just concede defeat from life.
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Old 21-12-2011, 03:30:12   #6
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Old 21-12-2011, 04:38:01   #7
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Now that isn't true. I know that from experience.
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"You think the only thing keeping this reality from collapsing is my awareness of it? what do you think? You know, the idea that a thing exists solely to be the anchor point for all known things. The old thing about what happens to the world when you close your eyes!! Does the light even exist anymore when the refrigerator door shuts?!" JTHM
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Old 21-12-2011, 06:51:18   #8
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I recommend marriage
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Old 21-12-2011, 08:44:40   #9
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Before datin even.
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Old 21-12-2011, 09:12:25   #10
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I recommend marriage
How many?
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Old 21-12-2011, 09:25:36   #11
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It's kind of a good sign to be nervous about the beginning of a relationship?

I think relationships can evolve and don't have to be defined up front. Communication is the most important thing. If you can say you're freaking out 'cause you really like him but have a crap dating history, maybe you'll get a much better response than you think. People like being told that other people really like them.

Good luck anyway!
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Old 21-12-2011, 11:03:20   #12
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We can bemone my lack of social knowhow and your situation tomorrow or Thursday, eh?
Is that a date...?
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Old 21-12-2011, 11:11:48   #13
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OMG dm and PH in a tree K I S S I N G?!
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Old 21-12-2011, 14:31:46   #14
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The biggest mistake possible in dating would be to accept any dating advice from this place.
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Old 21-12-2011, 14:41:25   #15
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Is that a date...?
Iain is coming to - so no. Not unless it is a three way.

Funko - that sounds like good advice. He's known me for 3 years so he probably has a good idea about the hell I've been through. Unless he's totally dense, he probably knows I'm into him.
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"You think the only thing keeping this reality from collapsing is my awareness of it? what do you think? You know, the idea that a thing exists solely to be the anchor point for all known things. The old thing about what happens to the world when you close your eyes!! Does the light even exist anymore when the refrigerator door shuts?!" JTHM
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Old 21-12-2011, 14:58:25   #16
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The biggest mistake possible in dating would be to accept any dating advice from this place.
Lurker knows
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Please go the fuck to sleep.
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Old 21-12-2011, 14:58:50   #17
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Iain is coming to - so no. Not unless it is a three way.
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Old 21-12-2011, 15:21:44   #18
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Definitely TMI!
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Old 21-12-2011, 15:24:54   #19
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Unless he's totally dense, he probably knows I'm into him.
The fact you say "probably knows" is worrying me. Direct approach works better with men
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Old 21-12-2011, 15:27:22   #20
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We are totally dense.
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Old 21-12-2011, 15:28:58   #21
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Absolutely.
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Old 21-12-2011, 15:56:18   #22
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good luck Muffin and Venom's advice is always good
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Old 21-12-2011, 16:35:57   #23
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How many?

Three of course
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You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
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Old 21-12-2011, 16:54:56   #24
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The fact you say "probably knows" is worrying me. Direct approach works better with men
Yep, don't assume anything
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Old 21-12-2011, 21:42:56   #25
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dating sucks before marriage
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Old 21-12-2011, 21:45:37   #26
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Just concentrate on having fun.
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Old 21-12-2011, 21:57:29   #27
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amateur
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Old 21-12-2011, 23:33:30   #28
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Yeah, always go with "men are dumb", works every time...
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Old 22-12-2011, 00:57:16   #29
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The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep.
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Old 22-12-2011, 01:10:06   #30
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Definitely TMI!
No no no! That was a joke! a joke! geez!

We're just having a CG meet.

Is there an appropriate length of time to wait before you tell the guy "I like you a lot"? Or how can I tell when the time is right to say "I really like you"?

Yes - I really am this socially inept.

P.S. Laz - it's Matt.
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"You think the only thing keeping this reality from collapsing is my awareness of it? what do you think? You know, the idea that a thing exists solely to be the anchor point for all known things. The old thing about what happens to the world when you close your eyes!! Does the light even exist anymore when the refrigerator door shuts?!" JTHM
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Old 22-12-2011, 01:41:25   #31
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Oh don't lie, it's going to be a wonderful menage-a-trois
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Old 22-12-2011, 02:01:18   #32
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Not with me!

You and Iain will need to use your Grindr apps to find the third.
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"You think the only thing keeping this reality from collapsing is my awareness of it? what do you think? You know, the idea that a thing exists solely to be the anchor point for all known things. The old thing about what happens to the world when you close your eyes!! Does the light even exist anymore when the refrigerator door shuts?!" JTHM
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Old 22-12-2011, 04:02:21   #33
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I'll be there!
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Old 22-12-2011, 05:27:55   #34
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I can't tell if you are joking since I don't know where you are

But, if anyone else is in the area, we're meeting at Font at 8 pm.
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"You think the only thing keeping this reality from collapsing is my awareness of it? what do you think? You know, the idea that a thing exists solely to be the anchor point for all known things. The old thing about what happens to the world when you close your eyes!! Does the light even exist anymore when the refrigerator door shuts?!" JTHM
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Old 22-12-2011, 06:17:11   #35
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Matt as in Psychodolly?
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Old 22-12-2011, 06:42:41   #36
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I assumed at first it was Matt Higgs, hence my checking.
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Old 22-12-2011, 08:24:59   #37
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I don't date. I just concede defeat from life.
I can't stand dates either



they're TOO sweet
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Old 22-12-2011, 09:01:20   #38
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Just concentrate on having fun.
Yes.
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Old 22-12-2011, 10:37:25   #39
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Not with me!

You and Iain will need to use your Grindr apps to find the third.
Damn, I'm going to regret teaching you about that
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Old 22-12-2011, 11:27:39   #40
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Is there an appropriate length of time to wait before you tell the guy "I like you a lot"? Or how can I tell when the time is right to say "I really like you"?
I tend to think a month or so is fine, personally. It really depends on how twitchy they are though.
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Old 22-12-2011, 11:27:47   #41
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No no no! That was a joke! a joke! geez!
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Old 22-12-2011, 11:45:09   #42
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I tend to think a month or so is fine, personally. It really depends on how twitchy they are though.
I discovered that if they are twitchy that you have to sever the spinal column.
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Old 22-12-2011, 14:08:37   #43
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Could be where you've been going wrong?
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Old 22-12-2011, 16:29:36   #44
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Laz - Yes

Provost - oh yes! You'll totally regret it!

Twitchy - like chickens.

You know - ever since my last relationship that was so screwed up from start to finish, I don't trust my perception of people and how they feel. I think this last relationship was the one that finally and permanently broke your little munchkin.

I know what TESCO is now! The idea of these chain making mini-stores is pretty smart.
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Old 22-12-2011, 16:42:06   #45
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I've never been on a proper date. The thought of a relationship that doesn't start with drunken snogging from the outset just baffles me.
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Old 22-12-2011, 17:04:31   #46
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oh - I meant that yes it is Psychodolly.

What IS a proper date?
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"You think the only thing keeping this reality from collapsing is my awareness of it? what do you think? You know, the idea that a thing exists solely to be the anchor point for all known things. The old thing about what happens to the world when you close your eyes!! Does the light even exist anymore when the refrigerator door shuts?!" JTHM
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Old 22-12-2011, 17:20:09   #47
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Psychodolly?
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Old 22-12-2011, 18:03:20   #48
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Qu'est-ce que c'est...
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Old 22-12-2011, 18:17:26   #49
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Psychodolly?
The is the handle he goes by on another site Laz and I go to. His actual name is Matt.
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Old 22-12-2011, 18:53:06   #50
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As one has said when you excpet everything you get nothing when you expect nothing you get everything. There are variations but I think that's true.
As long as there is physical attraction then have fun yes and tralalalala.
And after some time it will be defined and it's good when it is defined for what it really is. Of course that's ever evolving so meh..!
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