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Old 19-02-2002, 14:32:55   #1
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Horrible Company Re-branding Solutions

Ok, a list of the worst re-branding exercises that show corporate marketing has gone bezerk. They shun the traditional "Functional" names that have lasted the course of time and business, for Trendy New Whizz Names that bear little or no relation to the nature of their businesses and frankly sound Risable.
I'm not sure which is worse - the "Branding Agencies" who charge millions to come up with this tosh, or the Chief Execs who get suckered in to believing this nonesense actually works!

Here's a couple to get the ball rolling, please add to this list:


Royal Mail - Consignia
British Steel - Corus
BT Cellnet - MM02
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:33:54   #2
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Corus? What the fuck is that?
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:34:46   #3
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I wonder who came up with all the Novartis, Aventis, Invensys bullcrap...

How about a flashy rebranding for counterglow ? Conglentis ?
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:34:48   #4
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British Steel - Corus
BT Cellnet - MM02

I didn't even know those had happened!
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:36:05   #5
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Corus wasn't exactly rebranding, but the new name after the merger with durch steelmaker...Hovgaven or so, forgot the bloody name.
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:37:48   #6
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Andersen Consulting - Accenture
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:39:17   #7
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They had to change because everyone found out how shit they were.
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:40:00   #8
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You have a bit of Anderson's work on your finger there....
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:42:26   #9
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You know, I wasn't really picking my nose don't you?
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:42:35   #10
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I am going to rebrand myself.

Venom->Synergentis
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:45:02   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by MikeH
You know, I wasn't really picking my nose don't you?
I suspect much worse. Just read to what I replied.

Venom... Venentis ?
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:48:36   #12
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Sounds like a venerial disease.

I'm staying with Synergentis.
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:49:53   #13
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They'll sue you.

http://www.synergetic.de/
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:51:10   #14
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No way. I'm totally different. I'm gentis not getic.
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:55:04   #15
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I had a friend who worked for GEC-Plessey Telecom in Paris. He was in customer support.

Anyway, they decided to rebrand the company as GPT.

So, whenever he answered the phone he had to say the initials "GPT".

So what, you might think. Only this was Paris and he had to pronounce the letters in the French manner which meant he said some thing very similar to....

"J'ai Peté"



If Red doesn't tell you, I will later.
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:57:48   #16
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I have... something?
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Old 19-02-2002, 14:59:00   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by Resource Consumer
I had a friend who worked for GEC-Plessey Telecom in Paris. He was in customer support.

Anyway, they decided to rebrand the company as GPT.

So, whenever he answered the phone he had to say the initials "GPT".

So what, you might think. Only this was Paris and he had to pronounce the letters in the French manner which meant he said some thing very similar to....

"J'ai peté"



If Red doesn't tell you, I will later.
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Old 19-02-2002, 15:00:00   #18
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Sorry. I was just trying to edit that to take out the capital p which might have been a little confusing.

On the right lines Mike.
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Old 19-02-2002, 15:02:26   #19
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Red hasn't told us yet. Tell us now.
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Old 19-02-2002, 15:07:56   #20
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Why, if telling you later increases the suffering....
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Old 19-02-2002, 15:09:21   #21
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If you tell me now I will suffer horribly in the knowledge of this company's mistake.
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Old 19-02-2002, 15:12:51   #22
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Fair enough.

So the company's employess pick up the telephone and say to their customers "I have farted"
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Old 19-02-2002, 15:20:26   #23
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OHHHHH THE SUFFERING PAIN OF LAUGHTER!!!
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Old 19-02-2002, 15:30:45   #24
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"Hello, I have farted, can I help you?"

ROTFLMAO
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Old 19-02-2002, 17:58:23   #25
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Another one

Imperial cancer Reseach Fund & Cancer Research Campaign (no. 1&2 cancer research funding charities in UK) now merged to become Cancer Research UK.

The comunication department have made it very clear that we are not to call it CRUK under any circumstances. Also the logo which used to be a little man jumping (for some reason - at least it looked good like an I with a C in it) is now Cancer Reseach UK > ( a big arrow at the end made of lots of blue dots and one magenta one at the end pointing right).

When the signs went up at work visitors to the site started following the arrows to see where they pointed...
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Old 19-02-2002, 18:16:31   #26
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I used to work for the Stroke Association - when I relocated the office; the new building manager put up a direction sign to my office that said...

Stroke Ass

-Scud-
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Old 19-02-2002, 18:33:58   #27
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LMAO!
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Old 19-02-2002, 19:21:27   #28
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I think Roxio is a very stupid name.
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Old 23-02-2002, 10:10:48   #29
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Well... these names are meant to sound neo-classic/neo-stable/neo-old. To make the public think they've been around forever, but have jazzed their name a touch to get more 'modern'.

It's all BS, of course. But it's just what they do. Sometimes, believe it or not, just changing the NAME creates a different outlook/view in your customers/investors. It's the craziest thing, but it is a true phenomena... whether with a product name or company name.
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Old 23-02-2002, 18:49:38   #30
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we got rebranded from

The meteorological office to The Met. Office

and then again, from The Met. Office to Met Office (notice they removed the period)

They also sold us a new logo thing, which represented synergie, invigoration and our dedication to the environment or some such bollocks.

Curiously one of the water companies rebranded at the same time... and got exactly the same logo.

What a waste of bollocking money.
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