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Old 13-11-2013, 16:07:08   #1
Oerdin
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Naked man shoves fire extinguisher up ass, runs around hotel lobby.

I'm still wondering how the hell he was able to shove a giant fire extinguisher up his backside. I mean... WTF?!
Edit: Ahh, it was just the hose but still...
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Naked Hotel Guest Shoves Fire Extinguisher Up Ass, Causes a Scene
In one of the most compelling ledes ever written, a Tuesday Metro story begins:
A hotel guest emerged naked from a storage cupboard of a Premier Inn with a fire extinguisher hose up his bottom, a court was told.
That is not all the British court would hear about Joseph Small, 20, and his memorable Oct. 31 stay at the Premier Inn in central London.
According to his court testimony, all Small wanted to do was travel to London from Sheffield to make a deal on a used car. And like any stressed out traveler, he stripped off his clothes in the fourth floor hotel corridor, grabbed a fire extinguisher, and shoved the hose up his ass.
Once the hose was firmly in place, he began masturbating and peeing on the floor. A hotel worker named Hassan witnessed the event on a security camera and quickly covered Small with a towel as he escorted him to the lobby.
Small began verbally assaulting the Bangladeshi employee, telling him, "This country has been taken over by al-Qaeda – go back to Pakistan." He then peed again in the lobby, shouting at a group of tourists, "I come from Sheffield in England." Because in an event like this, it's best everyone knows where you come from.
And for his grand finale, Small also racially abused the two police officers who arrived on the scene. Sadly, the report does not say where the fire extinguisher was at this point.
In court on Tuesday, Small admitted to criminal damage, racially aggravated harassment, and outraging public decency. Sentencing was adjourned until Dec. 3
Some how I'm not surprised he was from Sheffield.
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Old 13-11-2013, 16:08:32   #2
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The joys of Premier Inn.
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Old 13-11-2013, 16:17:00   #3
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I take it that Premier Inn is a budget hotel?
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Old 13-11-2013, 16:20:38   #4
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Yes. Brilliantly named isn't it?
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Old 13-11-2013, 16:28:26   #5
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So was Joseph small?
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Old 13-11-2013, 16:40:52   #6
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I bet it was cold so he probably was. :sad:
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Old 13-11-2013, 22:09:53   #7
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They should have discharged the extinguisher while they were tossing him.









SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT
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Old 14-11-2013, 04:57:38   #8
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I'm pretty sure that would have caused some sort of medical problem but it would have been funny in a "the guy was a dumb ass who deserved it" sort of way. Still, the pressure of the release as well as the intense cold caused by expanding liquids just wouldn't be good for the poor man's colon.
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Old 14-11-2013, 08:28:47   #9
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Depends what kind of extinguisher it is, if it's water, it's not expanding.
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Old 14-11-2013, 15:37:18   #10
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That's preposterous.

I've never been able to pee while masturbating.
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Old 14-11-2013, 15:52:55   #11
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It doesn't say he did them simultaneously.
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Old 14-11-2013, 16:48:30   #12
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Quote:
Once the hose was firmly in place, he began masturbating and peeing on the floor.
I beg to differ.
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Old 14-11-2013, 16:51:08   #13
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That doesn't say they happened simultaneously, just that both occurred after the hose was firmly in place.
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Old 14-11-2013, 17:08:52   #14
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The use of 'and' instead of (or followed by)'then' implies simultaneity.
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Old 14-11-2013, 17:13:51   #15
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"After I left college I started playing football and drinking beer."
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Old 14-11-2013, 17:19:20   #16
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jes jes
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Old 14-11-2013, 17:44:07   #17
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At least he died doing what he loved. Insulting someone else's mother.

I will crush you. With happy little apples.

I am a happy little sig. virus. Please put me in your happy little sig. so I can continue to happily replicate. A little.

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Old 14-11-2013, 18:13:43   #18
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You guys are funny
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Old 15-11-2013, 09:16:38   #19
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Originally Posted by The Mad Monk View Post
I guess they played football before they drank the beer.
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Old 15-11-2013, 11:33:51   #20
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Good idea tho, Bierfußball. Or even mor germanish: "Automobilbierfußball"
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Old 15-11-2013, 11:37:46   #21
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Vorsprung Drunk Technic
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Old 15-11-2013, 11:39:59   #22
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Hehe, he said Vorsprung
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Old 15-11-2013, 11:40:40   #23
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HARR HARR HARR he said vorsprung.
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Old 15-11-2013, 11:43:05   #24
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Again, hohoho
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Old 15-11-2013, 11:52:04   #25
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HI SANTA
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Old 15-11-2013, 13:19:59   #26
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I want books and socks again for Christmas, Santa!
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You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
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Old 15-11-2013, 16:18:04   #27
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Box and sucks?
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Old 15-11-2013, 16:27:58   #28
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We got a new fridge, so box is taken care of
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You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep.
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:30:59   #29
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Ah, today is the final sentencing. I would send him to Sibiria.

Or France.
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Old 03-12-2013, 14:02:08   #30
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It least he'd get to drink hallucinogenic reindeer piss in Siberia (#4)...

On second thoughts, France it is!
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Old 09-12-2013, 23:23:40   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Finn Willi (5) View Post
Ah, today is the final sentencing. I would send him to Sibiria.

Or France.
The real question is how will he ever live this down as nothing goes away in the internet age and some where those pictures are floating around.
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Old 10-12-2013, 00:02:59   #32
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If that is the real question iyho post the link of the pictures you made when you had a hose in your hose
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Old 10-12-2013, 11:01:25   #33
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Touche.
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Old 10-12-2013, 11:49:19   #34
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The internet is overrated. I tried to find pictures of both occasions and I didn't find a thing.
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Old 10-12-2013, 13:35:05   #35
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Unpossible, the internets has all!
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You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
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Old 11-12-2013, 11:09:36   #36
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use a find engine instead of a search engine
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Old 11-12-2013, 16:43:00   #37
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I use the button for internet, is that wrong?
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Old 11-12-2013, 16:45:03   #38
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Only if the button is the IE icon
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The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep.
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Old 11-12-2013, 16:52:49   #39
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Oh, no, I use the other internet.
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