View Full Version : Love has torn NME Apart

14-11-2002, 17:57:39
Welcome to the death of a once great institution. If you notice to my right is yet another cover featuring The Strokes, behold it\'s Q-like insipidness. If you\'ll just pass through here please... Right, here\'s this week\'s featured article. It\'s the writers\' \"top 100 singles of all time\" (http://www.nme.com/news/103493.htm). Wow. And it\'s absolute fucking monkey excrement, written by a bunch of historyless, slackjawed indie fuckers. The number one song alone on the last such list they made in 1987 (http://www.rocklist.net/nme_singles.htm#150_1987) is worth more than the combined total of the entire top ten here. Awesome, isn\'t it?

No, please, ma\'am, you can\'t throw up in here. Use the toilet located behind the death of the music press memorial statue.

Scabrous Birdseed
14-11-2002, 17:59:03
Wrong forum. Arse.

14-11-2002, 18:46:31
be nice, he's just a dead boy.

14-11-2002, 18:49:32
Good title, at least.

14-11-2002, 20:00:57
I'm so nice I moved it for you.

I didn't think that list was too bad considering it's from NME. What did you expect from them?

Scabrous Birdseed
14-11-2002, 20:34:51
Respect for music from before 1978?

14-11-2002, 20:46:19

It's NME!!!

14-11-2002, 20:47:12
Plus the writers are all too young to have been seriously influenced by anything pre 1978 which is what the criteria for this one seems to have been.

14-11-2002, 21:09:29
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Respect for music from before 1978?

But it's NME. All it's favourite bands are punk or post-punk angular edgy pop bands. If you think they're gonna include Whiter Shade Of Pale or something in any of their top 100 lists you're sadly mistaken. If you want music from before 1978 buy Mojo.

Complaining about lists in magazines is pointless. If you want a list you agree with 100% you'll have to write it yourself. Yes, I know NME's supposed to be a little bit edgy, a little bit voice of yoof, a little bit unpredictable, but lets face it, it hasn't been for years (Since it was purchased by Emap in my opinion).

You complain about NME being "written by a bunch of historyless, slackjawed indie fuckers", but isn't it supposed to be? "Historyless"? You realise the N stands for NEW right? "slackjawed indie fuckers?" That's how it should be, it might seem like it's written by a bunch or arrogant band-waggon jumping twats, but at least they bother at all. Name one other mainstream magazine that brings anywhere near the same amount of new bands to the attantion of anyone who wants to know every single week.

You complain about the Strokes being on the cover again and you've probably got a point, but they need to sell issues. They're a money making business, not a fucking fanzine. Apparenty their circulation figures are the lowest they have been since the mid 80's, what do you expect them to do? The Strokes and The Vines sell magazines, if you don't want to read about them you can always turn the page.

(rant nearly over) It seems everyone complains about NME these days, and it's true that it's much more commercial than it was a few years ago (they had fucking Offspring on the cover not too long ago) but what alternative is there? I'm sure NME writers would love to be writing about a wider and more diverse range of independant and alternative music, but times are tough. The reality is those kinds of records are not selling as well as anyone would like and they just can't afford to not feature big name bands, and they can't afford to be too elitest in their views (or lists).

Would you rather read a slightly commercial, Strokes-rich NME which still covers loads of new and interesting bands, or no NME at all?

14-11-2002, 21:45:02
woah! that's a lot of clever thoughts in a row. I can't handle it!

Lazarus and the Gimp
14-11-2002, 22:10:55
1. Joy Division - 'Love Will Tear Us Apart'
2. Nirvana - 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'
3. The Sex Pistols - 'Anarchy In The UK'
4. The Rolling Stones - 'Paint It, Black'
5. David Bowie - ''Heroes''
6. The Stone Roses - 'Fools Gold'
7. The Smiths - 'This Charming Man'
8. Oasis - 'Live Forever'
9. Massive Attack - 'Unfinished Sympathy'
10. The Clash - 'London Calling'

With the exception of "London calling", I like all of those.

Lazarus and the Gimp
14-11-2002, 22:12:30
From 1992 (in alphabetical order)

The Adverts - One chord wonders (1976)
A certain ratio - Shack up (1980)
Age of chance - Kiss (1986)
Alternative television - Love lies limp (1977)
And the native hipsters - Oh look there goes Concorde again (1980)
Au pairs - Diet/Itís obvious (1980)
Aztec camera - Just like gold/We could send letters (1981)
Bauhaus - Bela lugosiís dead (1980)
The birthday party - Release the bats (1981)
Billy Bragg - Between the wars (1985)
Nick Cave and the bad seeds - The mercy seat (1988)
John Cooper Clarke - Innocents EP (1977)
Ciccone Youth - Into the groove(y) (1986)
Cocteau twins - Pearly Dewdrops drops (1984)
Clock DVA - Four hours (1981)
Elvis Costello - Less than zero (1977)
Crass - How does it fee to be the mother of 1000 dead (1982)
The Cure - Killing an Arab (1978)
Colourbox - The official world cup theme (1986)
Carter USM - Sheriff fatman (1990)
The Damned - New rose (1976)
Dead Kennedyís - Holidays in Cambodia (1980)
Depeche mode - Everything counts (1983)
Ian Dury & the Blockheads - Sex & drugs & rock & roll (1977)
Discharge - Why? (1981)
The Diagram brothers - We are all animals (1981)
Dinosaur jr. - Freak scene (1988)
Echo and the bunnymen - The pictures on my wall (1979)
Electronic - Getting away with it (1989)
The fall - Kicker conspiracy (1983)
The fire engines - Candy skin (1981)
Flux of pink Indians - Neu smell (1981)
Gang of four - Armalite rifle (1978)
Go-Betweens - Cattle and cane (1983)
Happy Mondays - Wrote for luck (1989)
The housemartins - Sheep (1986)
The house of love - Destroy the heart (1988)
Hurrah! - Whoíd have thought (1984)
Human league - Being boiled/Circus of death (1978)
Half man half biscuit - Trumpton riots (1986)
PJ Harvey - Dress (1991)
Inspiral carpets - Plane crash EP (1988)
Jesus & Mary Chain - Upside down (1984)
Joy Division - Love will tear us apart (1980)
June brides - Every conversation (1985)
Justified ancients of mu mu - All you need is love (1987)
James - Hymn from a village (1985)
Josef K - Radio drill time (1980)
Kitchens of distinction - The third time we opened the capsule (1989)
LFO - LFO (1989)
The loft - Up the hill down the slope (1985)
Madness - Our house (1984)
Mighty lemon drops - Like an angel (1986)
The mekons - Where were you (1977)
My bloody valentine - You made me realise (1988)
MARRS - Pump up the volume (1987)
Mega city four - Miles apart (1988)
Kylie Minogue - I should be so lucky (1990)
Manic street preachers - You love us (1991)
New order - Ceremony (1981)
New order - Blue Monday (1983)
The Normal - Warm leatherette (1978)
The only ones - Lovers of today (1977)
Orange juice - Simply thrilled honey (1981)
Pigbag - Papaís got a brand new pigbag (1981)
The pogues - Dark streets of London (1984)
The pop group - We are all prostitutes (1980)
Primal scream - Velocity girl (1986)
Primal scream - Higher than the sun (1991)
The primitives - Stop killing me (1986)
Prefab sprout - Lions in my own garden (1983)
Pixies - Gigantic (1987)
Scritti politti - Skank block bologna (1978)
The shamen - Christopher mayhew says (1987)
Shop assistants - Safety net (1986)
Silicon teens - Memphis, Tennessee (1979)
The smiths - This charming man (1983)
The smiths - How soon is now (1985)
Spacemen 3 - Revolution (1988)
The specials - Gangsters (1979)
Spizz energi - Whereís captain Kirk (1979)
Stiff little fingers - Alternative Ulster (1978)
The stone roses - Fools gold (1989)
Suicide - Cheree (1978)
Subway sect - Ambition (1978)
The sugercubes - Birthday (1987)
Suede - The drowners (1992)
Teenage fanclub - Everything flows (1990)
The three johns - Death of the European (1985)
Tackhead - Whatís my mission now? (1985)
This mortal coil - Song to the siren (1982)
The teardrop explodes - Bouncing babies (1979)
UK subs - Live in a car (1978)
The undertones - Teenage kicks (1978)
UB40 - Food for thought/King (1978)
The weather prophets - Almost prayed (1986)
The wedding present - Once more (1986)
Wha! - Better scream (1978)
Robert Wyatt - Shipbuilding (1982)
Young marble giants - Final day (1980)

Lazarus and the Gimp
14-11-2002, 22:13:18
From 1987

I say a little prayer - Aretha Franklin
Tired of being alone - Al Green
Walk on by - Dionne Warwick
Kiss - Prince
This old heart of mine - The Isley Brothers
(Get up I feel like being a) Sex machine - James Brown
King Tubby meets the rockers uptown - Augustus Pablo
Young hearts run free - Candi Staton
Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
Move on up - Curtis Mayfield
Midnight train to Georgia - Gladys Knight and the pips
Shame - Evelyn ĎChampagneí King
Running up that hill - Kate Bush
Like a rolling stone - Bob Dylan
Rock your baby - George McCrae
My baby just cares for me - Nina Simone
The message - Grandmaster flash and the furious five
God save the queen - Sex pistols
Whats going on - Marvin Gaye
Shipbuilding - Robert Wyatt
I herd it through the grapevine - Marvin Gaye
This charming man - The smiths
Tears of a clown - Smoky Bacon and the miracles
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
Just my imagination - The Temptations
Atmosphere - Joy Division
I canít stand the rain - Ann Peebles
Good vibrations - The beach boys
Waterloo sunset - The kinks
Papa was a rolling stone - The temptations
Adventures on the wheels of steel - Grandmaster flash and the furious five
River deep mountain high - Ike & Tina Turner
People get ready - The Impressions
Have you seen her - The Chi-lites
Good times - Chic
Get up offa that thing - James Brown
Tracks of my tears - The Miracles
I want you back - The Jackson five
Light my fire - The doors
Respect - Aretha Franklin
Penny lane/Strawberry fields forever - The Beatles
When a man loves a woman - Percy Sledge
Paperback writer - The Beatles
Letís stay together - Al Green
Reach out - The four tops
I wish it would rain - The Temptations
Donít be cruel/Hound dog - Elvis Presley
Stand by me - Ben E. King
1999 - Prince
Complete control - Clash
Police and thieves - Junior Marvin
Wichita Lineman - Glen Campbell
Dancing in the street - Martha and the Vandellas
Band of gold - Freda Payne
Family Affair - Sly and the family stone
Transmission - Joy Division
Public image - Public Image Ltd
One nation under a groove - Funkadelic
Superstition - Stevie Wonder
Donít stop till you get enough - Michael Jackson
Bad moon rising - Creedence Clearwater revival
Thatíll be the day - The Crickets
Free Nelson Mandela - The Special AKA
Rock Lobster - The B-52s
Anarchy in the UK - Sex pistols
How soon is now - The smiths
Space oddity - David Bowie
Itís a manís manís world - James Brown
Me and Mrs Jones - Billy Paul
Eight miles high - The Byrds
She is beyond good and evil - The pop group
Turn turn turn - The Byrds
Iím a believer - The Monkees
If you want me to stay - Sly and the family stone
You really got me - The kinks
Cant I change my mind - Tyrone Davis
You donít have to say you love me - Dusty Springfield
Promised land - Johnny Allan
Rip it up - Little Richard
Jumpiní Jack Flash - The Rolling Stones
Crazy - Patsy Cline
Satisfaction - The rolling stones
Theme from Shaft - Isaac Hayes
Wedding bell blues - The fifth dimension
I wanna hold your hand - The Beatles
Backstabbers - The OíJays
Higher and Higher - Jockey Wilson
A hard days night - The Beatles
I second that emotion - Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
Buffalo Girls - Malcolm McLaren F1
Rapperís delight - Sugarhill gang
The bottle - Gil Scott-Heron
What do I get - The Buzzcocks
On Broadway - The Drifters
Youíve lost that loviní reeliní - Righteous Brothers
Dance stance - Dexys midnight runners
Love letters - Ketty Lester
Letís start II dance again - Hamilton Bohannon
Do it again - Steely Dan
Ainít that peculiar - Marvin Gaye
Love donít live here anymore - Rose Royce
No woman no cry - Bob Marley and the Wailers
Purple haze - Jimi Hendrix Experience
In the midnight hour - Wilson Pickett
Why canít we live together - Timmy Thomas
Past present and future - The Shangri-Laís
Teenage kicks - The undertones
I feel free - Cream
Two sevens clash - Culture
007 - Desmond Dekker
The sun ainít gonna shine anymore - The Walker brothers
Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix Experience
(Sittiní on) The dock of the bay - Otis Lifts Redding
Be my baby - The Ronettes
Song to the siren - This mortal coil
Because the night - The Patti Smith group
Hold on Iím coming - Sam and Dave
Keep on running - The Spencer Davis group
Alison - Elvis Costello
Our house - Madness
Be bop a lula - Gene Vincent
Jeepster - T Rex
Relax - Frankie goes to Hollywood
Uncertain smile - The the
Tour de France - Kraftwerk
When will I be Loved - The Everly brothers
Jump to the beat - Stacy Lattisaw
Time(Clock of the heart) - Culture Club
Ticket to ride - The Beatles
Sweet little sixteen - Chuck Berry
Dancing in the dark - Bruce Springsteen
Virgina plain - Roxy music
Release the bats - The birthday party
Heart of glass - Blondie
Autobahn - Kraftwerk
Is this love - Bob Marley and the Wailers
Brown eyed girl - Van Morrison
Walk this way - Run DMC
The day the world turned day-glo - X-Ray spex
Ainít no mountain high enough - Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
Lovesick blues - Hank Williams
Come around here(Im the one that you need) - The miracles
Green onions - Booker T and the MGís
(White man) in Hammersmith palais - The Clash
Layla - Derek and the Dominoes
I only have eyes for you - The Flamingos
Running away - Roy Ayers
The last time - The rolling stones
Hey Jude - The Beatles
Gypsy woman - The impressions

Lazarus and the Gimp
14-11-2002, 22:15:55
What you have to remember is that in 1987, NME was utter crap. It's far better today.

In the mid-80's, their end of year polls went like this.

Best album
Best single
Best reggae album
Best reggae single

Because, like, if you weren't into reggae you were, like, racist.

14-11-2002, 22:32:18
It really pisses me off that everyone's jumping on the NME hating bandwagon. I've found them annoying for years. You copycatting bastards!

14-11-2002, 22:34:53
And I like all that top ten except David Bowie and The Smiths.

Scabrous Birdseed
14-11-2002, 23:17:43
I said respect, not fucking veneration. I'm all for kicking upwards, but apparently they've just gone and replaced the untouchable idols of the generation before with a new set a couple of years younger. New? I don't think so. NME is exactly like Mojo, high-grade record-wankery over stuff they liked when they were young five rather than twentyfive years ago.

NME seems to be perpetually stuck in some sort of bad mid-nineties Britpop mire, and have extreme difficulty getting out of it. Note how the flow moves from the American to the British, from the raw to the processed, from the manysided to the monolithical. I didn't read NME in the eighties, but if there was a reggae album of the week feature then in that aspect at least they've hit it spot on. We need a music press without the foucs on lanky, white guitar bands playing eighties/nineties-style music, we need a broad, diverse, quirky, interesting and forward-looking magazine not written for a percieved sterotypical average white idiot. When magazines like Kerrang! (which I otherwise hate) and even Q for fuck's sake try to lose the single focus group NME's staunch stand-by to exactly the kind of people who would not appreciate "I Say A Little Prayer" if it was waved under their noses seems increasingly idiotic and futile. No wonder their sales figures are dropping.

Scabrous Birdseed
14-11-2002, 23:18:59
And I like all the top ten except The Stone Roses and Massive Attack and Oasis and Joy Division. But not that much.

15-11-2002, 10:58:17
NME seems to be perpetually stuck in some sort of bad mid-nineties Britpop mire, and have extreme difficulty getting out of it.


15-11-2002, 14:52:32
Aaah. The Adverts. :)

Lazarus and the Gimp
15-11-2002, 19:44:29
As ever, a good rant Snapcase, and singularly unburdened by resemblance to reality.

Even if the definition of "Britpop" is stretched to cover Doves, Oasis, Coldplay and The Manic Street Preachers, the number of "Britpop" tracks in the latest 100 still only amounts to 7. Have you actually read the issue in question?

Scabrous Birdseed
15-11-2002, 19:46:46
Nah. :D

That comment was in general, rather than about this feature. :p

Lazarus and the Gimp
15-11-2002, 19:56:25
I thought that might be the case.

16-11-2002, 10:13:45
That's so unlike him. :D

Lazarus and the Gimp
16-11-2002, 15:59:02
If anyone's interested, the full 100 is pretty good. If I can be arsed, I'll write it up.

Scabrous Birdseed
16-11-2002, 17:10:44
What position is the first track by a non-white artist (not counting Massive Attack)?

Ignoring Nirvana, what position is the first spot by an american artist?

Are there any tracks on there from outside the anglosaxon sphere?

Lazarus and the Gimp
16-11-2002, 18:22:04
"Superstition" by Stevie Wonder is at 18.

"Good vibrations" is 13.

The last question is ridiculous. There's soul, blues, ska, hip-hop and reggae and black people aren't Anglo-Saxon.