View Full Version : Big Star Bitchslap: Reviews

*End Is Forever*
19-09-2002, 12:24:12
So, what are the scores on the doors?

Ballad of El Goodo

I quite like this. Itís very reminiscent of the Badfinger Iíve heard. Itís pleasant enough but thereís not really any spark here, and it definitely carries on at least a minute longer than it ought to do. Iím going to give it a SIX, Bruce.

Blue Moon

Once again, pleasant enough but itís very whimsical. Maybe Iím just ignoring the lyrical content? Doesnít have the same appeal of the first track. FIVE.


Exceedingly disturbing; itís creeping slowly into my head and embedding itself as I type. Bleak and barren, yet addictive. SEVEN.


Nope, sorry, donít like this. The feedback and noises in the background might be cool, but whereís the tune? Itís a failed attempt to jazz up a weak song. THREE

Kizza Me

This sounds painfully seventies; the piano and the extra instruments need to exit stage left, badly. Thereís a decent riff buried under there somewhere, I think. The melody isnít strong enough to pull it through either. FOUR.

Life Is White

The similarity to Badfinger returns. This is much better, but the solo spoils it somewhat. SIX

September Gurls

Sweet, catchy power-pop with more than a hint of the Beach Boys. This is excellent. NINE.


I hope this is one of Alexís choices, because lyrically this could almost be a precursor to some of the stuff I listen to that Johan condemns. Again I canít help feeling that instrumentally itís a little lightweight; the lack of Holocaustís haunting guitar makes it a little too perky to be depressing. SIX.

Whatís Going Ahn

Never realised they wrote songs about Korean footballersÖ

I like this but itís just a touch too slow when it gets going. Still, thatís being a little pedantic and I think itís worth a SEVEN.

When My Babyís Beside Me

This has the same feel as Kizza Me, but on this song it works; itís a better song, and it isnít buried under froth. SEVEN.

You Canít Have Me

This sounds like it ought to be excellentÖ but itís lacking somewhere and I just canít put my finger on it. The guitar sound is a bit weak but thereís something else thatís putting me off and I donít have a clue what it is. FIVE.

You Get What You Deserve

Great tap-along chorus, but not for the first time I start to feel that itís beginning to plod. Fortunately, this one has a bit more of a kick to keep it interesting. SEVEN.

19-09-2002, 12:32:31
If you got yours today mine should be there when I get home.

19-09-2002, 14:05:24
I got mine today as well. Listening as I type but I'm on nights so will have a listen around 1pm and see how mellow it makes me feel!

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-09-2002, 21:12:28
Originally posted by *End Is Forever*

I hope this is one of Alexís choices, because lyrically this could almost be a precursor to some of the stuff I listen to that Johan condemns.

You listen to lots of songs about paedophilia?

Scabrous Birdseed
19-09-2002, 21:15:05
Surely it's a song about the innocence of childhood. Or possibly, like, drugs, or something.

*End Is Forever*
19-09-2002, 23:26:46

*End Is Forever*
19-09-2002, 23:27:26
I suppose it's all about perspective...

Lazarus and the Gimp
20-09-2002, 07:46:59
No. It's about wanting to have a sexual relationship with a 13-year old girl.

"Won't you tell your dad to get off my back?"

"Would you be an outlaw for my love?"

20-09-2002, 09:00:37
Well I had a good listen but was too tired to write down my impressions (still having to do serious work at 2am wasn't exactly the most conducive way to approach this). Defn helped me feel mellow and my colleagues had a good laugh at the CD title as well.

I'll try and get something done soon..

20-09-2002, 10:44:21
Here are my stupid hungover bullshit reviews.

1. Ballad of El Goodo - 5

Right, I'm giving this one 5 because it's the first one on the CD and I don't want to give it a high or low score and then be stuck with nowhere to go up or down later. 5 seems fair. It's OK. Reminds me a bit too much of the music from the Littlest Hobo.

2. Blue Moon - 6

This is properly sad. And short. Better than the last one.

3. Holocaust - 8

They forgot to put any music in this track. Oh no, it's there just really subtle. Totally fucked up and depressing. This is way, way better than the first couple of tracks. 8

At this point I seem to remember the name Big Star. I am thinking that there was a song of theres on the CD Laz sent me before. Something about the voice reminded me I think. I wonder if I said I liked it? Possibly, however, I'm tripping.

4. Kangaroo - 9

This, and the last track, is like the art of music without music. It's so subtle but so atmospheric. It's beautiful and disturbed. The feedback's discordant. Then as if from knowhere a cowbell appears. Another 8, actually make it 9, a bonus point for the cowbell.

5. Kizza Me - 6

Oh dear... my first impression was what is this godawful shite. I was going to give it 2 but there's a piano bit which is pretty cool and the strings at the end were nice. Then I came back and listened to it after I got to When My Baby's beside me and I understood it better. 6

6. Life Is White - 7

This is better, much more nasty. It should really lose a point for the harmonica on principle but it actually sounds pretty good so I'll let them off that. It's not as good as holocaust which I gave 8 to so... 7.

7. September Gurls - 7

This is good. If the melody was sung 50% faster it'd be very like a Wildhearts song, which to my mind is a very good thing. My saying that might have the added advantage of offending someone as well. :D Now I'm going to have to go and listen to all the Wildhearts album to work out which song it is. 7

8. Thirteen - 3

This is a little bit boring compared to the others. I can't think of anything to say about it. Maybe I shouldn't be writing this hungover. Makes me want to go and listen to Holocaust and Kangeroo again.

9. Whatís Going Ahn - 6

God these guys are in a mess. I don't like the electric guitar on the top but the rest of the song I like. Not as good as some others so it only gets a 6.

10. When My Babyís Beside Me - 10

PINCHED HARMONIC! Well I wasn't expecting that. This is a brilliant track. 9+1 for the harmonics. There was a really cool track on MTV2 rotation recently featuring a concert where the band were playing up front and a load of geeky session musicians were doing the music backstage. That was a great song and this reminds me a lot of that. It's got that cool laidback rock and/or roll vibe about it. Sounds a bit like an epic but only three and a half minutes. 10

11. You Canít Have Me - 8

This isn't as good as the last one but it is similar in its style (compared to the other ones). I'll give it 8

12. You Get What You Deserve

Doesn't play on my CD. Can't really review it.

Scabrous Birdseed
20-09-2002, 11:37:30
Er, that fucks up the count somewhat, dunnit? I'll just average out the other person's tracks and deduct that from their total. Ish.

20-09-2002, 11:41:42
Or someone could mp3 it to me?

Scabrous Birdseed
20-09-2002, 11:46:44
Isn't it on KaZaA? Otherwise I'll WMA it and direct transfer it to you tonight.

20-09-2002, 11:50:34
I haven't got kazaa.

Good plan though if you can do that.

Scabrous Birdseed
20-09-2002, 12:17:49
Gawd, the sound quality is fucking inferior on the WMA. I may have to reencode it in Ogg Vorbis or something.

20-09-2002, 12:20:07
CDex is good - google search for it. Small download.

Scabrous Birdseed
20-09-2002, 12:23:56
What does CDex do?

20-09-2002, 12:38:59
Encodes in Vorbis, MP3, etc. Very damn good.

20-09-2002, 12:41:35
Yep. I got it after Sean's recommendation in this forum before. It's great.

Scabrous Birdseed
20-09-2002, 12:44:54
Originally posted by Sean
Encodes in Vorbis, MP3, etc. Very damn good.

oh jesus...

100-0. :D

20-09-2002, 12:46:22
Nope. Funkodrom had to ask before (see above).

20-09-2002, 12:51:16
I think it might be 100-0 because I was answering the question about mp3 encoding etc.

Scabrous Birdseed
20-09-2002, 12:51:36
What? I know exactly what CDex does. I posted the question hoping that someone would be naive enough to fall for it. Classic 100-0 in every way.

20-09-2002, 13:33:05
Originally posted by Funkodrom
There was a really cool track on MTV2 rotation recently featuring a concert where the band were playing up front and a load of geeky session musicians were doing the music backstage. That was a great song and this reminds me a lot of that.

For anyone who is wondering what the fuck he's on about, Mike is refering to the new Soundtrack Of Our Lives single.

20-09-2002, 13:33:33
AH!!! I couldn't remember their name.

20-09-2002, 13:34:40
21st Century Rip Off it's called.

Lazarus and the Gimp
20-09-2002, 15:39:09
I was going to suggest just getting a mean score, but what the hell....

20-09-2002, 16:31:56
I hope the 3rd review is not as quick to be written as these were. I'd like to have a chance to post my review. Also I think the CD should be listened to more than a couple of times. Some songs take time to get into.

21-09-2002, 10:15:41
12. You Get What You Deserve - 7

It's quite catchy at the start but seems to get a bit lost in the instrumental bit and go a bit Bowie. I like it but it's not as good as my favourite tracks so I'll give it a 7.

Scabrous Birdseed
21-09-2002, 10:18:16
Cool... Since that was the average of the other person's scores I don't need to recalculate anything.

21-09-2002, 10:20:30
:lol: I should read Iain's review now.

*End Is Forever*
21-09-2002, 16:44:24
Okay I re-listened to "Thirteen" again and I can see the real meaning of the song now. I missed the key line ("Would you be an outlaw for my love?") and assumed it was just a silly teenage love song...

Scabrous Birdseed
21-09-2002, 18:08:03
He's just playing around with you. It is a silly teenage love song. The "Outlaw" bit is the remnant of a childhood game, at the very earliest stage of adolocence. Possibly there's a slight age difference... Alex Chilton would have been 15 when Paint it Black came out.

Lazarus and the Gimp
21-09-2002, 19:27:13
It's about wanting to shag a 13 year old girl! Alex Chilton said as much in "Rolling Stone".

Lazarus and the Gimp
21-09-2002, 19:30:41
This doesn't change the fact that it's a great song, but it's very definitely written from the perspective of an adult man being in love with an underaged girl.

*End Is Forever*
21-09-2002, 19:37:27
Could be about a 15-year-old boy wanting to shag a 13-year-old girl?

Scabrous Birdseed
21-09-2002, 19:44:34
Since I heard Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" is about Heroin, I've never been able to listen to in in the same way again.

22-09-2002, 00:55:42
Certainly gives the BBC charity verson a new and sinister edge.

22-09-2002, 07:39:53
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Since I heard Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" is about Heroin, I've never been able to listen to in in the same way again. Really - wow!

24-09-2002, 14:10:27
Ok, the CD arrived last night, so heres my review:

1. Ballad of El Goodo - 10

I really like this one, it has a great chorus and a nice consistent melody. Best one on the CD IMO.

2. Blue Moon - 7

This is so soft and gentle I could easily fall asleep to it if it wasnt so short. Nice slow song.

3. Holocaust - 6

It just seems to go nowhere. Its got a good atmos, but it really needs something more to tie it together.

4. Kangaroo - 2

Like the last track this one goes nowhere. The squealing feedback would have been good if it wasnt quite so piercing. Its a musical experiment gone wrong.:vom:

5. Kizza Me - 6

This is a pretty average rock song, nothing special here.

6. Life Is White - 5

Again, very average. I would have given it more if the harmonica wasnt mixed so loud.

7. September Gurls - 7

One of the better songs on the CD. Its another straight-ahead rock song, but its more interesting than track 5 or 6.

8. Thirteen - 6

This one is decent. A nice relaxing track. It reminds me of an REM song, especially the opening line. Cant remember which REM song, but I think it has a line "hey kids, rock n roll" or something like that.

9. Whatís Going Ahn - 4

Dont like this one that much, the guitars are too country for me.:bash:

10. When My Babyís Beside Me - 9

Great song. Plenty of parts to keep you interested and a good melody.

11. You Canít Have Me - 6

This one is ok. It doesnt hold together as some of the last few tracks. Chorus is a bit repetitive.

12. You Get What You Deserve - 7

Pretty good. Nice swirling riffs and catchy tune.

Scabrous Birdseed
24-09-2002, 17:00:16
Great! And now, the clock is ticking... :hmm:

Scabrous Birdseed
24-09-2002, 17:04:31
Er, I mean, hurry up other people, I'm losing here!

24-09-2002, 17:35:00
Bearing in mind postal times to New Zealand I doubt Rachel will have got her CD yet.

24-09-2002, 18:38:37
If it wasnt sent airmail I doubt she will get it in time.

24-09-2002, 18:40:22
We're in some kind of hurry?

24-09-2002, 18:41:10
Well Laz said a week after the 3rd review the contest will be wrapped up...

24-09-2002, 18:44:06
Ah. I should have read what he said.

25-09-2002, 03:34:02

25-09-2002, 09:28:30
Ahhhhhhhh. :(

*End Is Forever*
25-09-2002, 09:38:27
I'm sure given the circumstances he'll be a little more accomodating...

Lazarus and the Gimp
25-09-2002, 19:08:10
It was sent airmail, though there's always the chance that I didn't put enough stamps on it.

Lazarus and the Gimp
25-09-2002, 19:08:36
Scoring is fairly close so far, incidentally.

Scabrous Birdseed
25-09-2002, 20:12:30
Yes. I've been keeping a tally.

01-10-2002, 15:27:54
Is the bitchslap over?

01-10-2002, 15:35:56
Rachel still hasn't got her CD.

Lazarus and the Gimp
01-10-2002, 16:44:20
And Spartak's being shy.

01-10-2002, 19:00:42
I'd like to take a guess at who chose which track. I know that will not be revealed until the bitchslap is over, but I would like to know how close I am when the truth comes out.

1. Ballad of El Goodo - Laz

2. Blue Moon - Snappy

3. Holocaust - Snappy

4. Kangaroo - Snappy

5. Kizza Me - Laz

6. Life Is White - Snappy

7. September Gurls - Laz

8. Thirteen - Laz

9. Whatís Going Ahn - Snappy

10. When My Babyís Beside Me - Snappy

11. You Canít Have Me - Laz

12. You Get What You Deserve - Laz

Lazarus and the Gimp
01-10-2002, 19:54:25
It'll be interesting to see if anyone else wants to guess.

Scabrous Birdseed
01-10-2002, 20:21:28
I already told Mike and Iain. :)

*End Is Forever*
02-10-2002, 08:36:37
I've forgotten most of them, however a couple of Cali's are quite laughably wrong, and I would have been able to tell him that even if you hadn't told me...

What I will say is that if Alex was trying to prove a point, one of his selections went completely against that...

02-10-2002, 08:41:12
Yes, he's guessed 2 for Snappy that were the ones I was certain were Laz's.

*End Is Forever*
02-10-2002, 09:06:10
Yup, and he's correctly guessed one of Laz's that I was certain was Johan's; hence my previous post.

Scabrous Birdseed
02-10-2002, 11:16:45
Remember that we had to pick songs off all three albums. Certainly, given the choice, I wouldn't have taken anything off Sister Lovers/Third.

*End Is Forever*
02-10-2002, 11:26:40
Yes, but picking sickly-sweet Beach Boys-esque guitar pop when you're trying to convince people that the disturbed, fucked-up stuff is better is rather contradictory.

02-10-2002, 15:26:09
You guys are far more familiar with their musical tastes than I. I knew tracks 2,3, and 4 had to be chosen by the same person though.

Lazarus and the Gimp
02-10-2002, 16:34:26
Originally posted by *End Is Forever*
Yes, but picking sickly-sweet Beach Boys-esque guitar pop when you're trying to convince people that the disturbed, fucked-up stuff is better is rather contradictory.

This was sparked off by Snapcase's comment that the only people who rated their third album were "wankers". I therefore picked 4 tracks off the third album and the bare minimum from the other two.

Snapcase got second choice, but he had no self-imposed restrictions.

The other two tracks I picked were simply my favourites off the other two albums, and I'd describe neither as "Bubblegum". Or "Beach Boys-esque".

04-10-2002, 16:40:21
I wonder if Rachel's CD has been lost in the mail...

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-10-2002, 16:45:47
Incidentally, aren't I being astonishingly nice to Snapcase by giving him extra time?

However time is dragging on now, so I think I'll declare this one closed next Friday.

04-10-2002, 16:46:34
Who's in the lead at the moment then?

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-10-2002, 18:46:29
Me. Hence my niceness.

04-10-2002, 19:48:04
I would have thought being behind would be more motivation to allow extra time for more reviews to surface than being ahead. I guess you really are just being nice.

Lazarus and the Gimp
10-10-2002, 20:15:37
Tick, tick, tick, tick.....

10-10-2002, 20:17:04

10-10-2002, 20:18:38
oooooh are you ready for me yet?

Pump it up prince!

10-10-2002, 21:13:55
Is it all over?

10-10-2002, 22:02:52
It's still not here, so I suspect it's decided to take the scenic route and won't show up for another month or two yet.

10-10-2002, 22:28:14
Sorry for the delay. I'm not as musical as the other reviewers so i can't add the little touchs of pretention here and there that make their reviews so memorable but for the little its worth here are my thoughts.

Overall I really enjoyed the CD and I don't think there was a song I didn't like. I'm just a real bastard of a marker and I tend to be more interested by the tune than the lyrics.

1. Ballad of El Goodo 9/10

A nice mellow one to start off with. Great for 2am on a night shift

2. Blue Moon 7/10

Didn't really do much for me.

3. Holocaust 6/10

OMG - pass me the valium this is a very moody and dark song, not to mention a slow tempo. Reminded me of Lou Reed at his lowest - music to slit your wrists to.

4. Kangaroo 7/10

A really deserty hollow feeling from this. Still slow but, unsurprisingly more upbeat than the last one. Nice use of electric guitars to give an acustic feel.

5. Kizza Me 7/10

A more traditional 60's/70s poppy song. I'm not sure the lyrics got many prizes. Did he really say he wanted a white house or was it just me?

6. Life Is White 8/10

I could imagine a Lindisfarn song similar to this but then as I like Lindisfarn I'm not complaining too much.

7. September Gurls 8/10

I like mellow but I also like a little more tempo at times. Had a little heel taping here so this one defn scored for me.

8. Thirteen 8/10

I'm not swayed by the discussion of the meaning of this one. I like the sound of the song. It has nice vocals.

9. Whatís Going Ahn 7/10

What's going Ahn? Cheer up I say!

10. When My Babyís Beside Me 9/10

This and the Ballard of El Goodo were my favourite songs on the CD. Nice catchy lyrics (Yes! I know what I said about lyrics) and a more upbeat tune with a more of what I would expect from a old pop song so I definatly liked this one. Lots of heel tapping I'm ashamed to admit.

11. You Canít Have Me 7/10

Didn't really catch my attention as much as the other songs. A bit turgid I thought!

12. You Get What You Deserve 8/10

Nice atmospheric end to the CD.


I'm on nights again tomorrow and I'm pretty sure the CD will be egtting an outing at some point when the futility of being awake when the whole world sleeps catches up with me around 3am.

Sorry, again, for the delay. My life hasn't been very simple recently!

Scabrous Birdseed
10-10-2002, 22:39:59
The Scores are now EXACTLY EQUAL. I suggest we stop it at this point. :D

Lazarus and the Gimp
11-10-2002, 16:55:52
That's clearly an act of God. He's pointing out that late-period Big Star is of equal value to early material and that further debate is both futile and heretical.

12-10-2002, 05:11:21
Speaking of how finding out background information totally changes the meaning of a work for you... I remember when I really loved "To His Coy Mistress" and thought it was all sweet and such... and then my English teacher showed me all the kinky, dirty sexual references... :eek:
*Trying to get the information on Perfect Day outta my head now*

Lazarus and the Gimp
12-10-2002, 06:56:37
Oh yes. Like the bit about having worms crawling up her mimsy. That was a good one.

13-10-2002, 20:51:52

All mimsy were the borogroves and the mom raths outgrabe