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FunkyFingers
06-08-2002, 10:59:46
Ok, I started reading this book when I was 10, after reading the Hobbit several times, and gave up.
Saw the film, loved it. Decided a couple of weeks ago to have another go and it's so good. What a great book!

I'm literally about half way through now, it's great. Even the songs/poems aren't too boring...

Have just ordered the DVD from Australia too, for 12 including delivery!
www.ezydvd.com

Darkstar
10-08-2002, 04:49:22
Should just go test drive a Kia. They are giving away DVDs of Fellowship of the Ring for free currently, here in the states.

Lazarus and the Gimp
11-08-2002, 11:32:41
It's worth spending 12- 19 just to avoid getting in a Kia.

FunkyFingers
13-08-2002, 20:35:12
Me, get in a Kia car? I'd sooner eat my own liver.
:vom:

Darkstar
14-08-2002, 07:27:57
I am beginning to see why Kia needs to give away FotR DVD for free now...

Venom
14-08-2002, 14:37:13
Send your...WIFE (?) Funky.

FunkyFingers
15-08-2002, 08:33:49
If my wife were to go for a test drive in a Kia, I would be extremely upset. :cry:

Venom
15-08-2002, 12:18:44
You get a free nerdomovie out of it. You can appreciate that.

FunkyFingers
15-08-2002, 12:42:11
I've already got said nerdomovie, for cheap, so what do I care.

Venom
15-08-2002, 12:51:43
But it wasn't for free, now was it?

FunkyFingers
15-08-2002, 16:16:13
Nothing in this life is free.

Venom
15-08-2002, 19:16:12
I see marriage is teaching you well, then.

MOBIUS
22-08-2002, 04:44:18
Ack! Tom Bombadil...

:vom:

The Mad Monk
25-08-2002, 19:18:12
Got a problem with gay fantasy characters, Mobius?

mumin
26-08-2002, 00:02:22
Tom isn't gay. Although he might be a twat.

The Mad Monk
26-08-2002, 01:12:58
Oh, come on, the man wears yellow boots by choice, for pity's sake!

mumin
26-08-2002, 11:39:03
Don't we all?

Remeber Tom's got that cute little chick to do his bidding.

The Mad Monk
26-08-2002, 23:29:51
That wasn't a chick -- it was a young man playing 'house'.

mumin
27-08-2002, 09:32:49
You sure? Ages since I read LOTR, but I don't recall that.

Still, Tom's not gay, and I hereby proclaim that conclusively. Would a gay twat be able to resist the One Ring?

The Mad Monk
27-08-2002, 10:52:04
A gay twat wouldn't know what to do with the 'One Ring'.

mumin
27-08-2002, 13:30:48
And here I though a gay twat would be just the person to go after the "one ring"... aggresively.

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
30-08-2002, 21:35:31
just what are you implying about Boromir?

Sean
30-08-2002, 23:10:03
Boromir the gay viking?

mumin
30-08-2002, 23:38:00
He could use a shave.

Venom
13-09-2002, 18:31:42
Finished it.

jsorense
13-09-2002, 20:00:41
:rolleyes:
And, my ld friend Venom, how did you like it, pray tell?
:cute:

Venom
14-09-2002, 02:29:16
I haven't decided yet. Like someone else posted...the man had no idea of dramatic pacing. It was pretty good I guess but there was definitely some stuff that I would have been cool in the movie. Like the gift giving scene at Lothlorien. But from what I hear that scene is going to be in the special edition DVD.

FunkyFingers
15-09-2002, 14:29:01
It is indeed one of the scenes that makes up the additional 30minutes in the "special DVD edition".

The accusastions of "no idea of narrative pacing" I believe are unfair - if you read pretty much any book that has been written more than 20 years ago, they have a different pace to them. People had different writing styles in the old days, plus people had longer attention spans...

Plus, if you feel the book is going too slowly, read faster!

Funkodrom
15-09-2002, 14:47:41
I don't agree with that. There were a lot of books that were really well paced from more than 20 years ago. From several hundred years ago even.

It's not really just a novel it's an attempt to write a mythology.

Koshko
15-09-2002, 21:31:37
b00kz iz neat!

Koshko
15-09-2002, 21:32:50
Sorry I just needed to post in this forum so I could be the last poster in every forum. :D
You may resume your conversation and hijacking. :p

Venom
16-09-2002, 13:12:54
Originally posted by Funkodrom
It's not really just a novel it's an attempt to write a mythology.

I'll agree with that.

Plus I really hate all the damn singing.

Funkodrom
16-09-2002, 13:20:16
I just didn't read the songs and poems.

Venom
16-09-2002, 13:23:02
I've scanned most of them. Looking for interesting words or combinations of words.

Venom
16-09-2002, 18:16:49
Oh and what the fuck was Boromir doing blowing that damn horn when he got attacked by the Orcs? I get the calling to your breathren and scaring the enemy but he kept blowing the damn thing. Drop the horn ass head and fight with both hands.

FunkyFingers
16-09-2002, 18:50:45
Boromir can auto-fellate. Cool.

Venom
16-09-2002, 19:34:16
You didn't think that gay ass Legolas wanted him around for his singing ability did you?

moomin
16-09-2002, 22:46:27
You guys need to check out the movie for some really hot Boromir gay action.

The Mad Monk
17-09-2002, 00:53:18
My biggest complaint about the movie is how they turned Gimli into a clown.

FunkyFingers
17-09-2002, 08:20:12
I don't remember Gimli wearing big silly shoes, painted face and squirting water in peoples faces from a "novelty flower" on his jacket?

Funkodrom
17-09-2002, 08:26:47
It's one of the deleted scenes.

FunkyFingers
17-09-2002, 08:52:36
Makes sense

Venom
17-09-2002, 11:42:14
I thought he was a mean clown. Like Pennywise from It.

Funkodrom
17-09-2002, 11:50:57
More like one of the clowns from Killer Klowns from outer space.

FunkyFingers
17-09-2002, 12:04:32
Gay Clown

King_Ghidra
17-09-2002, 12:08:25
it was funny in moria when they were going to sling him over that gap like the hobbits and he said 'no one tosses a dwarf' or something to that effect :lol:

Venom
17-09-2002, 12:11:02
Dwarve tossing is illegal in Florida now.

King_Ghidra
17-09-2002, 12:15:50
bastards - it'll only go underground and become even more dangerous.

Who can turn a blind eye to the plight of innocent dwarves forcibly tossed in seedy backrooms whilst crowds of baying 'big folk' look on and laugh?

Venom
17-09-2002, 12:22:06
I can't because I don't want to miss a minute of laughter.

Funkodrom
17-09-2002, 12:56:03
When they banned it here all the dwarves complained.

King_Ghidra
17-09-2002, 14:06:21
typical

it's damned if you toss, damned if you don't

Venom
17-09-2002, 14:15:33
Perhaps if we bowl them instead.

jsorense
17-09-2002, 21:15:56
I just started to leaf through "The Two Towers" in order to refresh my memory of what is actually included within ( it has been an elf's age since I last read it).
Two comments so far; christ Gimli is a mouning, negative sob and the dialog is surprisingly stilted. And third, if I read "... it may be for good or ill . . ." one more time I'll call in Guy to edit it.

moomin
17-09-2002, 21:30:22
The LoTR drinking game?

Venom
18-09-2002, 01:26:08
For some reason the dialogue changed between FoTR and TTT. It got all old english and sophisticated.

Venom
19-09-2002, 12:07:46
I already know what I hate about the Two Towers.

Fucking Treebeard. What a retarded character he's been so far. Now he may redeem himself, but as soon as he got introduced the story just hit a brick wall. I can't read more than 2 pages at a time without getting bored. I'm praying to god that hobbits will leave him very soon.

FunkyFingers
19-09-2002, 12:16:10
Hey, Treebeard rulez, just wait a bit...

Venom
19-09-2002, 12:20:13
He had damn well better rule. Because right now the only thing he rules is jack and shit, and jack left town.

FunkyFingers
19-09-2002, 12:30:51
Believe me, he may appear to be just a laughing, slow old "tree" at the moment, but.........

King_Ghidra
19-09-2002, 12:37:20
...he turns out to be a depressing slow old tree

Funkodrom
19-09-2002, 12:38:02
...with woodwyrm

Venom
19-09-2002, 12:43:02
He seems like a character he couldn't fit into the Hobbit and he really wanted to use him at least somewhere.

FunkyFingers
19-09-2002, 12:48:28
Hooom

Venom
19-09-2002, 12:50:07
ATRARRAGARGRGGAGAGGGGHHHHHHHHH

BURN IN HELL TREEBEARD!

Guy
20-09-2002, 15:04:20
jsorense,

Ask and ye shall recieve:

http://amethyst-angel.com/bored_excerpts_main.html

jsorense
20-09-2002, 17:04:04
:lol:
Thank's Guy, that is much better.
I actually read "National Lampoon's Bored of the Rings" quite a few years ago. Still quite funny and brilliant in parts.
:beer:

Darkstar
24-09-2002, 02:16:55
I liked Bored of the Rings as well. ;)

Venom
24-09-2002, 02:21:55
Treebeard so sucks. I've been reading the same 2 pages for 3 days now. He's killing me I think.

Darkstar
24-09-2002, 02:28:11
Treat it like a reading assignment. Skim it until no more Treebeard.

And thanks for reminding me why I shouldn't read that trilogy again, Venom. ;) Of course, I'm not going to go read the Godfather trilogy either. :P

FunkyFingers
24-09-2002, 08:24:40
Venom - Treebeard is more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Darkstar
24-09-2002, 10:04:50
He's Obi-Wan Kenobi?

FunkyFingers
24-09-2002, 10:43:34
Correct.

Venom
24-09-2002, 11:51:18
Well until he gets his wire-fu act together, he sucks.

I just made it to the part where he's meeting with the other Ents. And it's another prime example of Tolkien not having any idea how to pace a book. Absolutely nothing has happened and it still took up 3 pages. All he did was have Merry and Pippin walk to a stream, drink, have an Ent walk up and then the three of them went gay all day and then went to sleep as the other Ents went Hmmm Hoom.

Darkstar
25-09-2002, 02:00:00
Went gay all day? What did they do, redecorate the forest?

Venom
25-09-2002, 12:10:15
Pretty much. And laughed like a bunch of fags when skipping through the woods.

But the Ents are on the move now. So I figure in about 162 pages they'll get around to actually doing something.

The Mad Monk
29-09-2002, 10:39:59
Are they there, yet?

FunkyFingers
29-09-2002, 10:55:25
Never underestimate the power of the Ents...

Venom
30-09-2002, 12:43:15
Just got past Helm's Deep. If only he described battles as well as he described the landscape. Although that should make for one hell of a scene in the movie.

FunkyFingers
30-09-2002, 15:20:11
Which bit was that, I can't remember!

Venom
30-09-2002, 15:34:00
What? You can't remember? Surely this requires an Own Goal call?

FunkyFingers
30-09-2002, 16:15:16
It's such a long book you can't expect me to remember everything!

Venom
30-09-2002, 16:47:22
Now that I've applied OwnGoal block 5000.

Helm's Deep. The huge battle in the valley of the mountains where the Riders of the Mark with what's left of The Company defend the stronghold from a massive orc attack.

FunkyFingers
30-09-2002, 20:50:32
Aah, a superb battle - I read some interesting stuff about how they "filmed" that battle using CGI fighters with "AI", and basically running the software and letting the computer settle the battle. The first few times the attacking orcs just ran away!

Venom
01-10-2002, 01:28:36
Play balancing is key. Sounds like the software may have been developed by Firaxis.

Venom
02-10-2002, 01:50:27
Well I'll be an Ent fan boy. Treebeard and his homey's got some strength.

FunkyFingers
02-10-2002, 08:36:22
See, they may be slow, but it was worth waiting for. They ROOLZ

Venom
02-10-2002, 11:50:59
Apparently Isenguard never stood a chance.

LadyRachel
02-10-2002, 22:36:40
I decided to re-read The Two Towers this morning.

Took me 5 hours.

Sean
02-10-2002, 22:40:37
Well done.

LadyRachel
02-10-2002, 22:46:15
Thank you.

Funkodrom
02-10-2002, 22:49:27
Must be nice to have 5 hours to spare.

Sean
02-10-2002, 22:51:21
Yeah.

Er.

Um.

:nervous:.

Venom
03-10-2002, 00:37:07
Yeah. I get to read in like 15 minute chunks. Takes a few more days that way.

Funkodrom
03-10-2002, 09:21:59
Yep.

MDA
03-10-2002, 13:07:16
It bogs down when Frodo and Sam meet the men from Gondor (Boromir's brother) before heading up through Shelob's lair. Seems like the same conversation occurs outdoors before the men and oliphaunt attack, outdoors after the men and oliphaunt, in the SECRET PLACE before dinner, after dinner, and the next day before and after catching Gollum.

The Mad Monk
07-10-2002, 15:55:20
So...the Men of Gondor take the hobbit lads to their 'secret place'?

Venom
07-10-2002, 16:44:47
In middle earth you didn't get gerbils stuck in your ass, you got hobbits.

FunkyFingers
15-10-2002, 12:48:07
Don't sit down on cold rocks too often.