View Full Version : Most important advice ever

03-09-2014, 08:18:15
There are five things that visitors to this country should never do: stand on the lefthand side of an escalator, mispronounce “Leicestershire”, assume that we all personally know Benny Hill, think that an American Express card will be useful and disparage our national diet.


Spectacularly correct.


03-09-2014, 13:37:53
"That’s right, I’m basically saying that over-boiled cabbage is our Thelonious Monk. Don’t overthink it, but I’m right." :lol:

I like lamb and potatoes!

03-09-2014, 13:39:10
BTW it's lestuhshuh

The Mad Monk
03-09-2014, 16:33:14
Yeah, right. Next you'll be telling us that Worcestershire sauce is wooster sauce.

04-09-2014, 08:47:25

04-09-2014, 08:48:49

04-09-2014, 08:48:55
Wow best site ever.

Mr. Bas
05-09-2014, 18:14:47
But to be honest, your national diet is pretty crap though.

05-09-2014, 18:42:07
Only thing I didn't like of English food was the sausages. Might have been from coming there directly after Germany :beer:

C.G.B. Spender
05-09-2014, 19:48:43
Ich wussta das

06-09-2014, 03:43:46
Any British person who has ever spent time with a group of Americans will have long since committed to memory every minuscule detail about the Clean Air Act of 1956, on the off-chance that the F-word will be egregiously brought up in conversation.


Mr. Bas
06-09-2014, 21:06:06
The sausages I actually like. I guess eating mostly in cheap places doesn't help, but on average I feel that cheap places in Germany and the US had better, healthier and more varied food. Or maybe it's just Harrow.

07-09-2014, 05:12:15
I wouldn't go to England for the simple fact that apparently you guys don't have ice cubes over there.

08-09-2014, 08:21:35

That might be the most brilliant one of those I've ever heard.

Of course we do.

08-09-2014, 08:38:00
What's wrong with the lefthand side of an escalator?

C.G.B. Spender
08-09-2014, 09:18:48
That's where you scrap the dog shit from your shoes

08-09-2014, 11:59:30
What's wrong with the lefthand side of an escalator?

That's the fast lane! You can walk up it fast, just don't stand still on it.

08-09-2014, 12:00:03
We even keep the fast lane on the Rest of the World side for you.

Finn Willi (5)
08-09-2014, 12:15:57
Prepare to be shattered but in Germany, in Germany we try to do the same! And sometimes it even works! Perhaps it's because of the Autobahn. It's the same there: Left - rushing idiots, right - standing pensioners.

C.G.B. Spender
08-09-2014, 12:33:46

08-09-2014, 13:51:34
Only difference is that we don't shoot you if you stand on the wrong side.

08-09-2014, 13:53:16
We tut quietly or or politely say "excuse me"

Because we know that if we are on the receiving end of either of those things it's worse than being shot!

C.G.B. Spender
08-09-2014, 14:33:28
Because it's a gay country!

08-09-2014, 15:30:06
Bill Bryson's sequel book to Postcards from a Small Country...

08-09-2014, 17:31:12
We even keep the fast lane on the Rest of the World side for you.

Yeah, that's what confused me.

Consistently inconsitent.

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
08-09-2014, 17:42:35
We tut quietly or or politely say "excuse me"

My experience with the British people in my family is that they'll passive-aggressively mutter under their breath, but just loud enough for you to hear, all the terrible things you've done, how rude you are, and what an awful person you'll grow up to be. Our maybe that's just my mother.

08-09-2014, 19:15:51
Sounds like my mother!

08-09-2014, 23:06:05
sounds like everyone's mother!

09-09-2014, 07:59:30
Maybe if you lot weren't so useless she wouldn't have to. :rolleyes:

C.G.B. Spender
09-09-2014, 08:07:30
yes, mom

Finn Willi (5)
11-09-2014, 22:16:47
yes mum


Provost Harrison
12-09-2014, 19:40:11
I've found my Amex card very useful. It's great for opening locks when you've locked yourself out and getting the dirt out from behind my nails ;)