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Oerdin
13-11-2013, 16:07:08
I'm still wondering how the hell he was able to shove a giant fire extinguisher up his backside. I mean... WTF?!
Edit: Ahh, it was just the hose but still...

Naked Hotel Guest Shoves Fire Extinguisher Up Ass, Causes a Scene
In one of the most compelling ledes ever written, a Tuesday Metro story begins:
A hotel guest emerged naked from a storage cupboard of a Premier Inn with a fire extinguisher hose up his bottom, a court was told.
That is not all the British court would hear about Joseph Small, 20, and his memorable Oct. 31 stay at the Premier Inn in central London.
According to his court testimony, all Small wanted to do was travel to London from Sheffield to make a deal on a used car. And like any stressed out traveler, he stripped off his clothes in the fourth floor hotel corridor, grabbed a fire extinguisher, and shoved the hose up his ass.
Once the hose was firmly in place, he began masturbating and peeing on the floor. A hotel worker named Hassan witnessed the event on a security camera and quickly covered Small with a towel as he escorted him to the lobby.
Small began verbally assaulting the Bangladeshi employee, telling him, "This country has been taken over by al-Qaeda – go back to Pakistan." He then peed again in the lobby, shouting at a group of tourists, "I come from Sheffield in England." Because in an event like this, it's best everyone knows where you come from.
And for his grand finale, Small also racially abused the two police officers who arrived on the scene. Sadly, the report does not say where the fire extinguisher was at this point.
In court on Tuesday, Small admitted to criminal damage, racially aggravated harassment, and outraging public decency. Sentencing was adjourned until Dec. 3
Some how I'm not surprised he was from Sheffield.

Funko
13-11-2013, 16:08:32
The joys of Premier Inn.

Oerdin
13-11-2013, 16:17:00
I take it that Premier Inn is a budget hotel?

Funko
13-11-2013, 16:20:38
Yes. Brilliantly named isn't it?

zmama
13-11-2013, 16:28:26
So was Joseph small?

Oerdin
13-11-2013, 16:40:52
I bet it was cold so he probably was. :sad:

MDA
13-11-2013, 22:09:53
They should have discharged the extinguisher while they were tossing him.









SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT

Oerdin
14-11-2013, 04:57:38
I'm pretty sure that would have caused some sort of medical problem but it would have been funny in a "the guy was a dumb ass who deserved it" sort of way. Still, the pressure of the release as well as the intense cold caused by expanding liquids just wouldn't be good for the poor man's colon.

Funko
14-11-2013, 08:28:47
Depends what kind of extinguisher it is, if it's water, it's not expanding.

The Mad Monk
14-11-2013, 15:37:18
That's preposterous.

I've never been able to pee while masturbating.

Funko
14-11-2013, 15:52:55
It doesn't say he did them simultaneously.

The Mad Monk
14-11-2013, 16:48:30
Once the hose was firmly in place, he began masturbating and peeing on the floor.

I beg to differ.

Funko
14-11-2013, 16:51:08
That doesn't say they happened simultaneously, just that both occurred after the hose was firmly in place.

The Mad Monk
14-11-2013, 17:08:52
The use of 'and' instead of (or followed by)'then' implies simultaneity.

Funko
14-11-2013, 17:13:51
"After I left college I started playing football and drinking beer."

zmama
14-11-2013, 17:19:20
jes jes :beer:

The Mad Monk
14-11-2013, 17:44:07
http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/23156048/2/stock-photo-23156048-american-football-players-drinking-beer.jpg

MDA
14-11-2013, 18:13:43
You guys are funny

Funko
15-11-2013, 09:16:38
http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/23156048/2/stock-photo-23156048-american-football-players-drinking-beer.jpg

I guess they played football before they drank the beer.

C.G.B. Spender
15-11-2013, 11:33:51
Good idea tho, Bierfußball. Or even mor germanish: "Automobilbierfußball"

Funko
15-11-2013, 11:37:46
Vorsprung Drunk Technic

C.G.B. Spender
15-11-2013, 11:39:59
Hehe, he said Vorsprung

Funko
15-11-2013, 11:40:40
HARR HARR HARR he said vorsprung.

C.G.B. Spender
15-11-2013, 11:43:05
Again, hohoho

Funko
15-11-2013, 11:52:04
HI SANTA

zmama
15-11-2013, 13:19:59
I want books and socks again for Christmas, Santa!

C.G.B. Spender
15-11-2013, 16:18:04
Box and sucks?

zmama
15-11-2013, 16:27:58
We got a new fridge, so box is taken care of :D

Finn Willi (5)
03-12-2013, 09:30:59
Ah, today is the final sentencing. I would send him to Sibiria.

Or France.

MOBIUS
03-12-2013, 14:02:08
It least he'd get to drink hallucinogenic reindeer piss in Siberia (#4) (http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/journal/animals-getting-high-wildlife-getting-their-fix.htm)...

On second thoughts, France it is!

Oerdin
09-12-2013, 23:23:40
Ah, today is the final sentencing. I would send him to Sibiria.

Or France.

The real question is how will he ever live this down as nothing goes away in the internet age and some where those pictures are floating around.

C.G.B. Spender
10-12-2013, 00:02:59
If that is the real question iyho post the link of the pictures you made when you had a hose in your hose

Oerdin
10-12-2013, 11:01:25
Touche.

Finn Willi (5)
10-12-2013, 11:49:19
The internet is overrated. I tried to find pictures of both occasions and I didn't find a thing.

zmama
10-12-2013, 13:35:05
Unpossible, the internets has all!

C.G.B. Spender
11-12-2013, 11:09:36
use a find engine instead of a search engine

Finn Willi (5)
11-12-2013, 16:43:00
I use the button for internet, is that wrong?

zmama
11-12-2013, 16:45:03
Only if the button is the IE icon :D

Finn Willi (5)
11-12-2013, 16:52:49
Oh, no, I use the other internet.