View Full Version : Worst Lab accident

28-10-2013, 13:42:50


"He said emergency crews were able to revive the dog with mouth-to-snout resuscitation."

28-10-2013, 15:57:53
took me the longest time to figure out the lab part :lol:

28-10-2013, 16:08:32
:lol: no mouth to snout for you!

30-10-2013, 14:46:57

My first thought was it was going to be about a labrador...

An old woman took a very limp parrot into a vet's office. As she placed her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, but Polly has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also sniffed delicately at the ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, your parrot is definitely 100% certifiably ... dead." He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the old lady.

The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$500!," she cried, "$500 just to tell me that my bird is dead!?" The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only have been $20, but what with the Lab report and the Cat scan..."


30-10-2013, 14:48:36
Lab related, if not lab related...

A guy is driving around Oklahoma and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a damn liar. He never did any of that stuff."

30-10-2013, 14:51:40

30-10-2013, 15:16:57
Another lab accident: http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/video-labrador-who-fell-100ft-6255690

30-10-2013, 17:11:22

:lol: :bounce:

30-10-2013, 21:10:22
:lol: at Mobius' second joke.