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View Full Version : Competition! How likely are you to go to hell?


Funko
17-08-2010, 15:48:09
http://img.mobypicture.com/74c1bc38eebe4bdcf0b4c2e314197deb_view.jpg

How many of the following criteria do you match?

I will not inherit God's kingdom 9 times! :beer:

Greg W
17-08-2010, 15:51:49
10 for me. :beer:

Funko
17-08-2010, 15:58:02
And you didn't vote for Cameron or Clegg!

Greg W
17-08-2010, 16:04:08
I know! I almost included socialist for 11 too.

protein
17-08-2010, 16:05:48
if not liking the welsh is racist then i'm up to thirteen. if you can sodomise a woman. and a once a blue moon flutter on a slot machine counts as gambling. and having one toke a year on someone's spliff and then spinning out counts as being a pot smoker.

JM^3
17-08-2010, 16:06:24
Note it is only socialist pot smokers, and only immodest women.

Immodest men, pot smokers, and socialists are all OK as long as they don't fall under other classes.

JM

MOBIUS
17-08-2010, 16:07:51
if not liking the welsh is racist

Bastard!:p

protein
17-08-2010, 16:12:58
sorry. er. i mean. some of my best friends are... well. not best friends. well... er... i mean i've met some and er. oh fuck it. you're all evil four foot tall PE teachers with moustaches who can't speak properly and are all into new metal.

:lol:

Funko
17-08-2010, 16:18:13
Even worse, Nu Metal!

Lurker
17-08-2010, 16:19:30
How does one define a "drunkard"?

Funko
17-08-2010, 16:23:55
Don't worry, you qualify.

Sir Penguin
17-08-2010, 16:46:21
1 for me. Maybe 2, I'm not sure what a Darwinist is.

SP

zmama
17-08-2010, 17:05:40
8 or 9... I'm doomed

Lurker
17-08-2010, 17:16:23
Don't worry, you qualify.

Spill a few beers and you're tarnished for life. :(

Vincent
17-08-2010, 19:06:10
Heaven must be the place where nothing, nothing ever happens

Beta1
17-08-2010, 19:11:40
How does one define a "drunkard"?

And no one posted the PH picture?

Drekkus
17-08-2010, 19:16:44
Not fair, being a darwinist automatically makes you an atheist, so that's two in one stroke.

King_Ghidra
17-08-2010, 19:29:57
you only need one to disqualify yourself from heaven, so it doesn't make much difference

btw, my favourite bit is the the fact that the solution, i.e. being a christian, is written in very small print at the bottom

that's not very christian

Lurker
17-08-2010, 19:42:30
1 for me. Maybe 2, I'm not sure what a Darwinist is.

SP

There is photographic evidence that your post is a lie.

Sir Penguin
18-08-2010, 04:53:15
It's not sodomy if it's with the Invisible Man.

SP

Greg W
18-08-2010, 05:32:18
Putting a brown paper bag over your head doesn't make him The Invisible Man. :p

mr_B
18-08-2010, 06:24:30
only 12

mr_B
18-08-2010, 06:26:44
just found out what a fornicator is make that 13

Greg W
18-08-2010, 06:36:01
Find out what a masturbator is and that'll be 14. :cute:

mr_B
18-08-2010, 06:54:25
no greg that's almost the same word in Dutch but thank you

Cheshire Cat
18-08-2010, 07:43:10
currently, just 5

other 4 I used to in my youth, but I have long since abandoned the habits, due to lack of chances and/or boredom/laziness

maroule
18-08-2010, 07:52:47
so hell is fornicating in the ass a socialist pot smoking dirty dancer immodest woman while drinking and watching an immoral movie?

sign me up

mr_B
18-08-2010, 08:43:47
:lol:

Greg W
18-08-2010, 09:25:05
so hell is fornicating in the ass a socialist pot smoking dirty dancer immodest woman while drinking and watching an immoral movie?

sign me upI think what you forget though is that they swap roles every day!* :brwncard:






*A reference to a probably obscure joke I vaguely recall hearing

Funko
18-08-2010, 09:35:57
maroule is describing an average day for a Frenchman.

Oerdin
18-08-2010, 09:46:15
That claims I will go to hell several ways but I can't be arsed to total them up.

mr_B
18-08-2010, 09:53:12
we just leave it by homosexual gangsta rapper then

Oerdin
18-08-2010, 10:04:14
exactly

protein
18-08-2010, 11:17:00
wait a minute. i've produced stuff for a couple of famous gangster rappers, does that mean that i win one more point?

Funko
18-08-2010, 11:18:30
It doesn't say Gangster Rapper producers, just the rappers.

Whoever produced this leaflet is going to hell.

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/a67edbd2-8bd0-4cdd-bb61-4155452bac21.jpg

Funko
18-08-2010, 11:19:14
That must be deliberate though? Blow the trumpet of salvation?

MDA
18-08-2010, 12:08:53
reminds me of that old "altar boy filling in for the priest in confession" joke

Father, what do I get for oral sex? "two candy bars and a nintendo game"

MOBIUS
18-08-2010, 13:36:50
13 for me, which is quite apt.:beer:

Greg W
18-08-2010, 13:45:01
That must be deliberate though? Blow the trumpet of salvation?I like the "Touchme - Touchoasis ministry" thingy at the top. :lol:

maroule
18-08-2010, 14:23:53
maroule is describing an average day for a Frenchman.

or a long winded description of the average french woman, god bless them!

paiktis
18-08-2010, 15:11:09
christianity is muslim

paiktis
18-08-2010, 15:13:06
http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=HHkrVGzhb-M&feature=related
woooo lots of beers (irrelevant thread)

Cheshire Cat
18-08-2010, 15:51:48
Toucho-as-is?

:drekkus:

Provost Harrison
18-08-2010, 23:10:19
Eyes down for a full house!

Do you get a Satan bonus if you get them all? I can imagine that homosexual or feminist and gangster rappers are hard to get in combination :D

paiktis
19-08-2010, 12:44:19
feminism is very infuriating though.
only lesbians should be feminists

maroule
19-08-2010, 13:15:08
yeah, and only niggers should be anti-racist

protein
19-08-2010, 13:52:35
Eyes down for a full house!

Do you get a Satan bonus if you get them all? I can imagine that homosexual or feminist and gangster rappers are hard to get in combination :D

funny you should say that. i personally know some lesbian gangster rappers who smoke weed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pfQT7etnKg

mr_B
19-08-2010, 15:15:15
yeah, and only niggers should be anti-racist

they escaped hell

Scabrous Birdseed
19-08-2010, 23:10:28
And here's a gay gansgsta rapper shouting die die die.

OwT52-PHcHM

paiktis
19-08-2010, 23:35:28
that made me dizzie

Beta1
20-08-2010, 07:43:22
Why would an athiest be worried about not going to heaven?

Cheshire Cat
20-08-2010, 09:27:18
there's a town named Hell in Michigan

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Michigan

the op banner it's probably their advertisement:

"HELL AWAITS ALL SINNERS"