View Full Version : I have a man question

04-03-2010, 05:28:44
and I regard you all as experts on all things men.

The bf is giving me the silent treatement. How do I break it without caving in and making it look like I think he's right? I'm no good at this mental warfare stuff.

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-03-2010, 06:33:51
Blokes don't do subtlety. Ask him upfront, without seeming judgmental.

Something like "You seem very quiet. Is everything OK?"

If it persists- "You're still being very quiet, and it's making me worry about you and how things are going between us. Please could you talk to me about it?"

04-03-2010, 07:25:36
Well, I'm certain that something is wrong. We had an argument - and now I'm getting the silent treatment.

04-03-2010, 10:14:04
begin a silent competition

04-03-2010, 10:24:32

My two options were Laz's or mr_B's. Laz's way is more productive and quicker.

There's always the danger that whether one is right or not, or wins the argument or not becomes more important than whatever the original issue was.

Scabrous Birdseed
04-03-2010, 11:27:48
Sounds like a "human question" to me - I've had this in relationships with non-men.

My suggestions is to do over-the-top silly, fun, loving and/or sexy things to him - without referencing the argument - until he caves and starts talking. Funny faces, unexpected violent hugs, take him out to something... Ignore the issue completely and try your best to break his silence by shocking him. It usually takes a while but it's always worked for me.

04-03-2010, 11:37:54
So you train them that if they go in a silent huff they get extra attention and sex?

Scabrous Birdseed
04-03-2010, 12:01:20
Okay, fine, just tickle him and give him chinese burns instead.

04-03-2010, 12:34:00
[bad joke]
did you ckeck at the hospitals?
[/bad joke]


hire Jack Malone (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Malone) to show up at his place

04-03-2010, 12:43:32
You give in to get him to break the silent treatment, then you break his will with a crushing follow up argument. Or shoot him in a domestic violence dispute.

04-03-2010, 12:59:22
offer him a beer?

"hey, I'm grabbing a beer, you want one?"

04-03-2010, 13:11:53
Well, I'm certain that something is wrong. We had an argument - and now I'm getting the silent treatment.

I don't think this is productive for relationships. Yeah, it is his problem, but if you do the same things will just be worse.

I don't see anything wrong with trying to end conflict. (edit: like Laz, of everyone's suggestion here)

It isn't 'weak' or 'caving in'.


04-03-2010, 13:13:18
jj and a game of chess
bet he won't be silent for long.

a good thing I changed blowjob in game of chess hah!!

04-03-2010, 13:18:23
depends on how long the silent treatment lasts, really, maybe he just needs time to cool off

talking while you're still hot over the last argument just risks a second one

04-03-2010, 15:17:01
Happened to me once, I said "you must be very stupid because you can't talk". Or something to that effect. Basically I questioned her IQ and her social IQ.

04-03-2010, 15:17:58
Oh yeah, she hit me.

04-03-2010, 18:39:46
tell him you hear that make-up sex is awesome

04-03-2010, 18:40:52
Sometimes it's good to have a bit of silent treatment if only to prevent a massive argument if feelings are still running too high.

It depends on if you know why you're getting the silent treatment or not. If you don't, then frankly it's an immature tactic IMO (but don't say so - be mature about it and the other person will probably realise what an ass they're being).

Otherwise, just ask him flat out a few times and if he won't budge then respect his silence by leaving him alone till he comes out of it.

Or just carry on as if you're blissfully unaware of what's going on.

Don't get annoyed or rise to it.

Sooner or later he'll either come out of it, or you'll get an answer and move on from there.

These all depend on your various levels of knowledge and/or culpability into why he's pissed off.

Don't win for winning's sake, but don't give in if you're not the guilty party, just be seen to be doing your bit to resolve it and sooner or later it will resolve itself...

EDIT: I'm wondering if any of that is contradictory.

04-03-2010, 20:49:29
All of this sounds good.

I've let him have his space for past few days. Problem is, when I get the silent treatment, I get angry and ruminate.

04-03-2010, 21:29:00
I tried the over the top thing:





04-03-2010, 21:29:34
I mean.. he DID tell me that I hadn't been fulfilling him.

04-03-2010, 22:40:30
What MDA said and if that dun work

shoot him in the balls :shoot:

05-03-2010, 01:14:06

05-03-2010, 02:35:33
Are you sure you aren't the dude and he's not the chick?

05-03-2010, 06:56:04
Mr. B - I do.

Koshko - sounds like it huh? He also controls the sex. bah!

All of that is probably tmi... but here, I'll give you all lots of boobies to make up for it:


05-03-2010, 07:28:38
thank you

05-03-2010, 08:29:35
I would have enjoyed the silence for a change. All that talk is so interfering with my tv watching and laptopping time...

05-03-2010, 09:04:22