View Full Version : The Modern Necrophiliac

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-09-2009, 16:49:00
I'm proud to be a modern necrophiliac!
Let me tell of the sort of things I do.
You go for "tall and dishy"?
Well, I go for "green and squishy",
but other than that I'm really just like you.

Corruption is a mighty aphrodisiac!
It gives you such an appetite for life.
In the graveyard watch us cruising,
we prefer them when they're oozing.
That's an underrated talent in a wife.

Don't confuse us with the common nymphomaniac!
We're faithful to our corpses through and through.
So please don't stick your nose in
even if she's decomposin'
to my wriggly hive of maggots I'll be true!

Would you like a copy of our information pack?
You'll find your life is changed, of this I'm sure.
You'll be screaming "I must have her!"
When you spot your next cadaver
in her coffin, casket, grave or pool of gore.

(Written today, and may God have mercy on my soul.)

07-09-2009, 18:45:49
you are going to burn in hell for quite a while

self biased
08-09-2009, 13:59:14
still less offensive than 'your labia minora look like wicket keeper's gloves.'

Lazarus and the Gimp
08-09-2009, 18:09:16
I'll admit that there are days when, even as I type, I'm shouting "I can't believe this filth was in my head! My own head!"

Cort Haus
09-09-2009, 21:19:08
What did your wife think of that pretty little ditty laz?

Lazarus and the Gimp
09-09-2009, 21:28:38
She's seen far worse.

Provost Harrison
12-09-2009, 13:23:53
Of that I can be sure :lol: