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View Full Version : Yaay!!! It's Monday!!!


Japher
24-08-2009, 12:18:38
1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

3.Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

6. That's enough Nickelback.

7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it.

11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

12.The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.

13. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

14. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

15. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

16.The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

17.A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

18. Was learning cursive really necessary?

19. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

20. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

21. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

22. My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

Funko
24-08-2009, 12:23:16
6. That's enough Nickelback.

Are we in 2001?

Immortal Wombat
24-08-2009, 20:10:18
This smells like forwarded email, so, probably?

Cort Haus
24-08-2009, 21:12:50
8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem.

You pretend to be old but were still a kid when Nintendo first came out?

You sir, are a fraud.

VetLegion
24-08-2009, 22:33:38
Unfortunately, it's a mail forward, and as such it sucks. We want to hear what real Japher thinks of Mondays!

I think they're not problematic in any way. I found out that the best cure for just about everything in life is having enough sleep. Go to sleep on time on Sundays and your Mondays will be a breeze.

Japher
25-08-2009, 12:19:58
I like Mondays, I thought I've been clear on this before.

Mondays are good days because a) nothing is expected of you, because it's Monday, b) the first half of the day is spent "getting caught up from the weekend" and c) the second half of the day is spent "planning what you will do for the rest of the week". You are so out of touch with work that it goes by really fast. Mondays always seem to be over before they start, and thus are awesome.

Wednesday is hump day, that's an awesome reason to drink.

Thursday is the new Friday, especially in college towns where English and Liberal Arts majors don't have class on until noon on Friday so that means all the hotties will be out drinking.

Friday is the old Friday.

Saturday is great because of cartoons and college sports.

Sunday is great because of God and the NFL.... well, mostly the NFL

Tuesdays suck out right. There is no really good reason to have Tuesday. Of all the days in a week Tuesday's are the worst, I would petition to get rid of the day but I don't know what we do with the empty space between Monday and Wednesday. Suggestions?

mr_B
25-08-2009, 13:10:01
wednesday week break day therefore drinky drinky

MDA
25-08-2009, 13:18:02
I would have thought hump day was for something else.

Cheshire Cat
25-08-2009, 15:15:08
12. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Through_the_Looking-Glass and what Japher found there

Japher
31-08-2009, 13:14:37
Hey! Look at me!

mr_B
31-08-2009, 13:15:39
no

Japher
31-08-2009, 13:28:36
haha!