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Lazarus and the Gimp
06-07-2009, 16:46:30
Prepare yourself for a shock, lads. Harmison probably won't be playing in the first test.

Shocking, I know. Who's going to throw 100mph balls at the slips now?

Funko
07-07-2009, 07:51:40
Prediction - 3-1 to Australia, England winning the last test when it's all over.

Greg W
07-07-2009, 15:26:32
I'm not so sure. No Brett Lee for the first test and will be struggling for the 2nd. Mitchell Johnson looked very flat in the previous warm up match and barely produced any movement with the ball. Siddle will try all day, as will Stuart Clark if/when he plays, but neither look like taking 5 wickets in an innings at the moment. Our main spinner has barely played any international cricket, so we will likely be relying on Michael Clarke, Simon Katich and Marcus North for spin, all of whom are part timers.

Batting wise, the new wonderkid was exposed to some short pitched bowling from Harmison in the last warm up match. Mind you, you're not playing Harmy for some reason, probably complaints from the slip fielders...

Ponting has looked very out of form in the warm up matches too, though at least Katich, Clarke and North have got some runs.

I don't think it will be as clear cut as it may seem, I predict a much closer series. Maybe a hard fought series with one team edging out a 2-1 win.

Funko
07-07-2009, 15:32:23
Steve Harmlesson.

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-07-2009, 18:37:46
I just think it's such a pity we can't field Simon Jones and Trescothick. None of England's opening batsmen come anywhere near Trescothick's reliability, and although he's been largely airbrushed out of history, Simon Jones won us the Ashes in 2005.

Funko
08-07-2009, 15:46:33
Only reading this online, not watching, but a lot of criticism of the Aussie boring defensive fields and especially the dull hour of 2 boring spinners.

Funko
08-07-2009, 15:56:52
Collingwood and Pieterson should have stayed in.

Funko
08-07-2009, 15:57:12
Morons.

Lazarus and the Gimp
08-07-2009, 17:03:17
There's one good point about Pietersen's dismissal. It might fool people into thinking Hauritz is a test-standard spinner, and get him picked for the next test.

Other opinions-

Cook is not an Ashes-standard opening batsman. He never has been, and never will be. Going into this match he had an Ashes average of just over 27. That's almost as pitiful as Katich's average.

Lazarus and the Gimp
08-07-2009, 17:05:21
Oh yes. Good to see more weird decisions from Ponting. It was very sporting of him to let England back into the game by gifting them an hour to twat the spinners around the ground.

King_Ghidra
09-07-2009, 10:59:01
amazing morning today

Funko
09-07-2009, 11:09:16
Nice to have some bowlers who can bat.

Panesar really can't bat though... hope he stays in long enough for Swanny to get his 50.

Funko
09-07-2009, 11:28:30
Nope.

Greg W
09-07-2009, 14:42:04
That bowling spell of Flintoff's was class. Best bowler on the field, from either side.

King_Ghidra
09-07-2009, 14:45:56
aussies are settled now though. big score coming.

Funko
09-07-2009, 14:49:14
This is why the Guardian have a "don't mention Adelaide (http://www.cricinfo.com/statsguru/engine/match/249223.html)" policy.

Greg W
09-07-2009, 14:49:59
Maybe. Interesting that so many batsmen (and bowlers) have made starts, but as yet, nobody has really gone on with it.

In the end, we're still 300 behind, even if we do have 9 wickets in hand. What will be crucial is how much of a lead we get (if any) and how much we're set on the last day when the wicket may be turning a lot more than it already is.

Greg W
09-07-2009, 14:51:53
This is why the Guardian have a "don't mention Adelaide (http://www.cricinfo.com/statsguru/engine/match/249223.html)" policy.That was a very different Aussie side, looking at it. Only a few of them left now...

Funko
09-07-2009, 15:02:53
Maybe. Interesting that so many batsmen (and bowlers) have made starts, but as yet, nobody has really gone on with it.

Interesting that our batsmen played themselves in then got out in stupid ways.

King_Ghidra
09-07-2009, 15:18:02
I've just been controversially quoted, dismissed, and misspelt in the guardian's over by over coverage

Funko
09-07-2009, 16:03:10
Unfair dismissal, IMO you can only go by the stats they've posted, can't just assume they are going to get better.

Funko
09-07-2009, 16:04:32
The second guy to dismiss you, now he has a good point!

Funko
09-07-2009, 16:21:00
Hope the England fans come up with a good song about this.

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25749415-5013560,00.html

Lazarus and the Gimp
09-07-2009, 19:41:20
If even Katich can get a century, our bowlers are fucked. That means Cook's replaced him as the worst upper-order batsman in the Ashes.

Greg W
10-07-2009, 02:23:22
The last couple of years, Katich has actually been a very good batsman. Let me see if I can go grab some facts to back that up...

Mat Inns NO Runs HS Ave BF SR 100 50 0 4s 6s Start DateAscending Winner
The Frank Worrell Trophy (Australia in West Indies), 2008
3 5 0 319 157 63.80 685 46.56 2 0 0 31 0 22 May 2008 Australia
Border-Gavaskar Trophy (Australia in India), 2008/09
4 8 1 349 102 49.85 720 48.47 1 2 0 44 0 9 Oct 2008 India
Trans-Tasman Trophy (New Zealand in Australia), 2008/09
2 3 1 164 131* 82.00 304 53.94 1 0 0 21 0 20 Nov 2008 Australia
South Africa in Australia Test Series, 2008/09
3 6 0 297 83 49.50 543 54.69 0 3 0 30 1 17 Dec 2008 South Africa
Australia in South Africa Test Series, 2008/09
3 6 0 260 108 43.33 603 43.11 1 2 0 32 2 26 Feb 2009 Australia
The Ashes (Australia in England), 2009
1 1 1 104 104* - 219 47.48 1 0 0 8 0 8 Jul 2009 -That's been opening the batting, after stuffing around with a few openers when all the retirements came. For an opener, they're pretty good figures.

Lazarus and the Gimp
10-07-2009, 05:36:27
Prior to this test, Ashes average 26.

MOBIUS
10-07-2009, 10:32:30
Been at the Ashes for the last two days and thoroughly enjoyed it! My conversion to all forms of cricket is now virtually complete.

What a great game, and to think that for most of my adult life, I thought it was soul destroyingly boring...:o

Pity the English bowlers seem to have no answer to the Aussie batsmen - though a lot of fans here were mightily aggrieved that Katich didn't get out for the lbw appeal.

Anyway, the venue is great, the crowd has been awesome and the organisation has been brilliant for cardiff's first ever test. Even the weather has held off so far - though tomorrow is forecast for rain...

:)

Greg W
10-07-2009, 16:27:06
Prior to this test, Ashes average 26.Like I said... the last couple of years.

Lazarus and the Gimp
10-07-2009, 17:52:18
Well, we're not going to win this one. RAIN, YOU BASTARD CLOUDS!! RAIN!!

Greg W
11-07-2009, 10:46:01
Well, England are doing their best to kill the game if the weather fails to accommodate. 7-2 fields, negative bowling and wasting so much time between overs that I reckon the batsmen could go off for a shit and get back before the over started. :sleep:

*End Is Forever*
11-07-2009, 14:07:22
It's very tedious, but don't pretend that your lot wouldn't be doing exactly the same if the situation was reversed.

Greg W
11-07-2009, 14:39:38
And don't believe I wouldn't be complaining about that too.

2 quick wickets to the Aussies, even if one was probably missing by a couple of cms! :beer:

Lazarus and the Gimp
11-07-2009, 15:49:17
Rubbish umpire is rubbish.

Greg W
12-07-2009, 14:13:01
Well well, can England hold on? 4 wickets in hand on a pitch where 1,100 odd runs were scored for the loss of 16 wickets.

Lazarus and the Gimp
12-07-2009, 21:27:11
Yes they can. Just.

Greg W
13-07-2009, 14:56:31
Even if it took some dodgy time wasting at the end. :bash:

Doesn't matter, it was more our shit bowling at the end that cost us the match. Still, it's just not cricket.

Funko
13-07-2009, 15:05:49
Whinging Aussies! You're taking the shine off our incredible historic victory lucky rain induced draw.

Lazarus and the Gimp
13-07-2009, 16:39:24
Good to see Ponting is being his usual whimpering self. Like he's never, in a million, billion years, have tried slowing things down if he'd been in the same position.

I can't picture Allan Border being such an overgrown toddler in his years as captain.

Beta1
13-07-2009, 16:58:29
Although Alan Border looked more like an overgrown toddler.

Greg W
15-07-2009, 15:20:28
Personally, I don't think that anybody should be using tactics such as that in the game. It's just poor sportsmanship.

Still at least Ponting also had the guts (or is that the wisdom) to admit that that wasn't the reason we lost.

Funko
15-07-2009, 15:27:53
Drew. ;)

Greg W
15-07-2009, 16:32:29
True. :lol:

I guess after the position we were in, it just feels like a loss. :(

Funko
16-07-2009, 10:19:51
Stunning start! 7 without loss.

fp
16-07-2009, 11:14:53
57 without loss now. We are unstoppable!!!!!!1

Funko
16-07-2009, 13:12:05
After being shit and inciting us to all slag him off, that cunt Cook has got 81. The Tard.

King_Ghidra
16-07-2009, 14:23:32
thankfully bopara continues to fuel his critics

Funko
16-07-2009, 14:24:58
And Cook did still manage to fail to get his ton.

Funko
16-07-2009, 14:51:23
An England century!

Greg W
16-07-2009, 15:23:59
And I thought the first test looked like it might be high scoring! :eek:

Funko
16-07-2009, 16:01:27
It's ok, Strauss is going to run out of people to bat with shortly.

lightblue
16-07-2009, 16:35:58
A nice collapse to start summer holidays, just needs some rain, then it's a real English summer!

Lazarus and the Gimp
16-07-2009, 19:55:20
I thought that the fact that Hauritz's finger was left hanging off might slow the bowling up a bit.

Funko
17-07-2009, 10:34:40
"Oooh, the Ashes must have started again by now..."

*checks scorecard*

WTF!!

Funko
17-07-2009, 10:52:12
10.52am "Following Shane Warne's surprising good debut on Sky yesterday," begins Gav Squiries, "how long will it be before they employ Adam Gilchrist so that he can follow up each of Warnie's comments with 'Punditry Shaaaaaaane!'?"

:lol:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/jul/17/ashes-england-australia-live-report

Funko
17-07-2009, 11:30:46
Aussies give us an early wicket to cruelly give us hope. Bastards.

Funko
17-07-2009, 11:46:25
Whuh... 10 for 2?

Greg W
17-07-2009, 14:02:17
Yeah, dodgy decision to give Ponting out caught behind. He may have been out leg before, but he wasn't out caught. Seems a bit more in the pitch today than yesterday, even if thta had little to do with either dismissal in our innings.

But now rain...

Funko
17-07-2009, 14:18:52
If he hit it he was caught, if he didn't it was LBW. Either way... just something else for the whinging aussies to latch onto.

Lazarus and the Gimp
17-07-2009, 17:08:41
Brilliant day for England on the whole, but I can't help thinking our bowling is a bit too toothless to win the Ashes. Anderson has done well, and Flintoff has been tidy too- but Broad and Onions?

Lazarus and the Gimp
17-07-2009, 17:23:34
Good God. Hauritz is batting. Respect is due in a very big way. Give the man a medal.

lightblue
17-07-2009, 22:47:34
Not too toothless considering that the Aussies will probably have to follow on.

Lazarus and the Gimp
18-07-2009, 13:52:12
THEY DIDN'T ENFORCE THE FOLLOW-ON! WHY?! WHY?!

The only possible reason I can see is the the bowlers were about to drop, and that's a worrying admission. Lords isn't noted for cracking up, so it's not as if the team batting last will be on a terrible pitch. Very strange decision.

Hauritz has moved past Military Medal status, and is now at Conspicuous Gallantry Medal status. If he gets a "5 for", it'll be a VC.

lightblue
18-07-2009, 16:01:49
Think the rumors are that Flintoff isn't doing too well, so they giving him a chance to rest before bowling again.

Lazarus and the Gimp
18-07-2009, 19:11:38
Ahahahahahaha Mitchell Johnson got spanked.

Bopara looked poor. I think the run of poor results is bothering him. Pietersen is yet to get started too. Still, Australia really under pressure now. They could easily face a target of 600 with over 5 sessions to bat through.

Greg W
19-07-2009, 12:04:56
If he hit it he was caught, if he didn't it was LBW. Either way... just something else for the whinging aussies to latch onto.Just more bizarre umpiring decisions. Like the two dismissals this morning. One off a no-ball and the other looked for all money like it hit the ground.

The odd thing? With the appeals matter to be introduced in October, Ponting would have been given not out on appeal, despite the fact that he was likely out LBW. According to some of our commentators anyway, the 3rd Umpire can only rule on the way the batsman was given out. He can't give him out for something else...

Still, the way we've played it doesn't matter much, we don't deserve to win this match or even hold on for a draw.

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-07-2009, 14:47:25
Staggering to think we might actually win at Lords, even if the Aussies really are getting dicked over by the umpiring.

Cort Haus
19-07-2009, 22:15:42
Staggering to think we might actually win at Lords

.. but by the end of the day it's looking like England have fucked it up.

It's unbearable :(

Funko
20-07-2009, 07:59:20
Just more bizarre umpiring decisions. Like the two dismissals this morning. One off a no-ball and the other looked for all money like it hit the ground.

Yeah, those were bad decisions.

Greg W
20-07-2009, 10:00:16
And then Hussey caught out off a ball he didn't hit... :cry:

Although, to be fair, I can see in Hussey's and Katich's cases how the ump gave them, they're only human. The catch that hit the ground however, I find it absolutely amazing that the square leg umpire could be so sure that the ball carried that he could give it out from a good 40 yards away. :confused:

And in the end, it looks like he was wrong. Only a day or two before, they went to the third umpire for a catch off Boppara from Hauritz's bowling, and they they didn't on that one. Bizarre.

Anyways, a lot depends on the first session. Ball still new, Freddy likely still vaguelly fit. If we can last it out, we might just be a chance. There's a long way to go yet though.

Greg W
20-07-2009, 10:02:14
Jeese, 3 appeals in the first over. The pressure is sure on the umps...

Greg W
20-07-2009, 10:06:38
Bugger, Freddy again. :(

Funko
20-07-2009, 10:09:46
I am only reading, but I bet the normally sedate Lords crowd is going mental.

Greg W
20-07-2009, 10:11:07
They have been a little, especially when the wicket fell.

Funko
20-07-2009, 10:24:07
Sounds like Freddie is on absolute fire.

Greg W
20-07-2009, 10:25:01
He is. :cry:

Greg W
20-07-2009, 10:32:16
He's hitting 90-93 mph every ball. Anderson bowled well too, but even the commentators are saying that Flintoff is bowling as fast and hostile as any England bowler they remember seeing.

Funko
20-07-2009, 10:52:47
On the plus side for you, he'll be worn out and broken within half an hour.

Greg W
20-07-2009, 10:59:07
Yeah, just hope we can not lose another wicket for about 50 overs. :cute:

One interesting point... They asked Nasser Hussein if he would be letting Flintoff or Peterson off for treatment, seeing as they came into the game with pre-existing injuries and treatment is only really allowed for injuries sustained during the test. Nasser instant said "no" without even having to think about it.

Almost can't believe Punter is allowing it, I mean the British press is against him anyway... :o

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:01:05
Well, that does it. Clarke out.

Funko
20-07-2009, 11:02:09
BOOM!

*generous round of applause for a brilliant innings*

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:03:58
Bad ball to get out to too. Basically a full toss (because he came forward) and he just missed it. :cry:

Funko
20-07-2009, 11:05:06
Yeah, but it's in a big part down to him that you even had a chance going into today. Really great batting yesterday.

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:09:13
Definitely. Just a bad way to get out after such a great innings. You could tell he was very disappointed. Getting out to a Flintoff thunder bolt... Fine. Getting out to a Swann full toss? :cry:

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:09:34
Just about all over now...

Fistandantilus
20-07-2009, 11:12:25
I'm following all this closely despite I have no idea what you're talking about.

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:14:03
Cricket. :beer:

Australia getting thumped by England. :cry:

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:17:14
As for what Cricket is...You have two teams of eleven players.
One team is in, the other team is out.
Two members of the out team come in and have to be got out by the team that is in.
When one member of the out team has come in and been got out by the team that is in, he goes out and another member of the out team comes in.
When all of the out team have come in and been got out by the team that is in, the team that was in goes out and team that was out comes in.
They repeat all of the above.
When they have finished, the team with the highest score wins....

Unless after 5 days of trying, they have not got to the end in which case we call it a draw.

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:30:21
Well, 5 for for Flintoff. He's been the difference between the two teams.

Funko
20-07-2009, 11:33:13
Sir Freddie?

:beer:

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:37:13
Now bowling his 9th over in a row. :eek:

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:40:40
Sir Ian Botham

Batting and fielding averages
Mat Inns NO Runs HS Ave BF SR 100 50 4s 6s Ct St
Tests 102 161 6 5200 208 33.54 8565 60.71 14 22 621 67 120 0

Bowling averages
Mat Inns Balls Runs Wkts BBI BBM Ave Econ SR 4w 5w 10
Tests 102 168 21815 10878 383 8/34 13/106 28.40 2.99 56.9 17 27 4

Freddy

Batting and fielding averages
Mat Inns NO Runs HS Ave BF SR 100 50 4s 6s Ct St
Tests 76 125 8 3708 167 31.69 6044 61.35 5 25 493 81 51 0

Bowling averages
Mat Inns Balls Runs Wkts BBI BBM Ave Econ SR 4w 5w 10
Tests 76 131 14388 7121 219 5/58 8/156 32.51 2.96 65.6 11 2 0

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:44:09
And it's all over. 1-0 to the Ingerland.

Funko
20-07-2009, 11:49:02
Brilliant. :beer:

Greg W
20-07-2009, 11:52:32
Looking at those stats, I am not sure if Freddy matches up with Sir Beefy. His stats are pretty close, but in terms of 50s, 100s, 5 and 10 wickets in an innings, he falls quite a bit short. Then again, I am not sure if that really captures the effect he has on the team.

Funko
20-07-2009, 11:56:03
I think his stats are very comparable, and in some ways more impressive considering his injury history.

Greg W
20-07-2009, 12:08:07
Like I said, his basic stats are pretty close. Batting average only two off, bowling average only 4 off. Just the big stats there's a massive difference. And wickets or runs per match he'd fall behind a fair bit too.

King_Ghidra
20-07-2009, 12:13:24
the guardian had a poll the other day for best english all-rounder; beefy, flintoff and a couple of historicals. botham had about 93% of the vote.

Funko
20-07-2009, 12:22:19
And that is right but it's a massive compliment that people would even consider comparing the two.

Lazarus and the Gimp
20-07-2009, 16:35:38
I think his stats are very comparable, and in some ways more impressive considering his injury history.


Then again, Botham's are more impressive when you consider his fat history. For half of his international career, he was a walrus.

Scabrous Birdseed
20-07-2009, 21:47:14
I do like the fact that cricket is a game even old, fat people who mostly stand still can excel at.

Lazarus and the Gimp
20-07-2009, 22:01:45
It used to be a positive boon to stick a wobbly old pillar of immobile lard in front of the wickets, as anyone who remembers the horrors of a Chris Tavare innings will know.

Lazarus and the Gimp
22-07-2009, 16:34:22
Pietersen out for the rest of the series. Looks like Bell will replace him, probably at number 3 to take some heat off Bopara.

The words "Ian Bell" are, of course, synonymous with "OK, we're desperate." He's just not a big-match player.

Lazarus and the Gimp
30-07-2009, 19:28:48
Hughes dropped. Looks like the kid isn't ready for the big-time yet.

That pitch has all the pace of a duvet. Expect massive quantities of runs to be racked up.

Greg W
31-07-2009, 01:17:28
I think he was somewhat harshly dropped. He played excellently in South Africa and has barely been given any chance to show that he can overcome what seems to be a technical deficiency against the short ball. Odd, but he didn't show any problems against South Africa.

I think it mainly comes down to Australia's (selector's) obsession with an allrounder. Why we bother is beyond me, with Mitchell Johnson having scored a maiden test century in South Africa and 80 odd in the last test. And Brett Lee is no slouch with the bat, when fit. Even if his bowling isn't what it once was.

Harsh call, IMHO, but there you have it.

Will be interesting to see if there's enough dry weather to conclude a match, especially if it continues to resemble a road more-so than a pitch. Still, the ball swung early and the English bowlers failed to apply any pressure when it was swinging. And the Umpies finally gave a few decisions our way. :cute:

Greg W
31-07-2009, 14:39:14
Holy turnarounds, batman! :eek:

Greg W
31-07-2009, 16:37:07
How the fudge was Ian Bell not out then? :confused:

Lazarus and the Gimp
31-07-2009, 16:38:12
One hell of a morning session, considering how dead the bowling was yesterday. And now, if you'll excuse me....


COOK! USELESS! AGAIN!

Bopara once again disappoints too. However at least it's disappointment in his case, and not the sense of dreary inevitability you get with Cook.

*End Is Forever*
01-08-2009, 13:54:50
Cook averaged 36 over the first two games with a top score of 95. Bopara averaged 20 with a top score of 35. I know who I'd rather have in my team.

Greg W
02-08-2009, 09:38:24
Yeah, Shane Warne. :(

Greg W
02-08-2009, 11:16:26
Jeese, can we please get rid of Rudi Koetzen (or however you spell it)? I think he makes more wrong decisions than he gets right these days. That's twice Bell should have been out LBW now. :bash:

Greg W
02-08-2009, 12:09:29
Well, maybe an element of doubt there as Hawkeye said it was going over. Live though, even though it hit him just above the knee roll, he was stuck on his crease and to me (and both commentators at the time) it was out.

Lazarus and the Gimp
02-08-2009, 16:20:09
Cook averaged 36 over the first two games with a top score of 95. Bopara averaged 20 with a top score of 35. I know who I'd rather have in my team.


Cook's average over three matches so far is 28.8. Going into this series, his Ashes average was 26. How long do you allow an opening bat to demonstrate mediocrity before replacing them?

fp
02-08-2009, 17:10:40
If you're Australia then it's two matches (i.e. Hughes), but for England it could be years and years.

Lazarus and the Gimp
02-08-2009, 17:40:51
Johnson once again underwhelming with 2 for 92 off 21 overs. He's really going to be feeling pressure now. The only consolation is that he looked good in comparison to Watson, who was a positive boon to England.

I'd like to see Broad sharpen up his bowling in this innings. He's saving his position with his batting, but isn't delivering the goods with the ball.

Lazarus and the Gimp
02-08-2009, 17:47:37
And Ponting's just gone. He never looked comfortable.

Greg W
03-08-2009, 01:44:50
Johnson once again underwhelming with 2 for 92 off 21 overs. He's really going to be feeling pressure now.He's starting to look better though, aka putting the ball in the right place far more often, which is a good thing. Still nothing like how he performed in South Africa, but that's adapting to new conditions and a new ball for you. Funny how some bowlers adapt quickly (Hilfenhaus for instance) and others struggle.

Still, every Aussie bowler was made to pay in that innings, they all went for around of 4 or more an over, so I wouldn't concentrate on just Johnson there.

Funko
03-08-2009, 07:49:53
Interesting day in prospect today. Few quick wickets and it could be another very exciting end to an edgbaston test.

Lazarus and the Gimp
03-08-2009, 16:49:16
Then again, maybe not.

There's still absolutely nothing in that pitch. The wickets only came through atmospheric conditions- as soon as the air dried out, all swing went.

So, onwards to Headingly. The word is that Hauritz may be dropped, which would be pretty daft. Headingly has always had the reputation of being a turning pitch, so dropping spinners for it seems ridiculous.

Greg W
03-08-2009, 17:00:57
I think that Siddle may very well be dropped. Doesn't move the ball through the air much at all and I think the selectors will want Lee back in. Whether they also want to bring Stuart Clark into the side is the question.

Greg W
03-08-2009, 17:08:05
Some odd stats that I have seen though...
Centuries: 6 v 1 to Australia
Top Wicket takers: 4 of the top 5 are Aussies
Top Run scorers: 5 of the top 6 are Aussies

You'd think going by those stats we'd be leading 2-0 or something. Interesting to see how the final 2 tests go. I'd love to see us level the series at Headingley and set up a finale for the Ashes at the Oval (from memory). We'll see I guess.

Funko
04-08-2009, 07:52:07
You scored most of those in the 2 games that got rained out to draws though.

Greg W
04-08-2009, 14:46:06
Oh, I know, it was just interesting stats is all. Also saw yesterday how, when the conditions were not suited to the ball swinging, England are a much less fearsome attack, Especially when Freddy has an off day.

fp
04-08-2009, 16:08:53
Yeah our bowling attack is pretty mediocre really. Anderson cannot bowl straight to save his life, Onions and Broad are both pretty inexperienced (and Broad is out of form), Swann is an OK spinner but nothing special and Flintoff has a fucked up knee. If the Aussie batsmen knew how to play swing we'd struggle to ever bowl you out!

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-08-2009, 20:16:20
Speculation that England will not field any spinners.

NOOOOOOO!!!! IT'S HEADINGLY!!! ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN THERE!!!!

I'll predict something right now. If only one team fields spinners, that team will not lose at Headingly. Win, yes. Draw, yes. But not lose.

Greg W
05-08-2009, 02:37:53
Australia do have some decent part time spinners in Katich (who is massively underbowled) and Clarke, but with Watson seemingly having secured an opening spot for the next 2 matches, we have room to play 5 bowlers (if you can call Watson a bowler after his last performance) and thus a spinner.

Still, are the selectors leaning towards picking Clark and Lee, and if so, who gets dropped? Siddle sounds somewhat likely, but they seem to want to persist with Johnson and there's no way they can drop Hilfenhaus. Which leaves Hauritz...

Who knows, but I think we really should have had Clark in the side from day 1.

Funko
05-08-2009, 11:36:25
Swann is an OK spinner but nothing special

He did provide my moment of the series so far bowling out Ponting though. :D

fp
05-08-2009, 11:56:51
Quote from Atherton in The Times today: "conditions at Headingley could not be less spin-friendly"

Greg W
05-08-2009, 15:05:40
Talk in the paper is that we may not play a spinner either. Though lord alone knows if that means Lee, Clark or both in (at whose expense)?

They're even talking about maybe dropping North (a century and a match saving 96) for the previously dropped Hughes and slotting Watson in at 6... :clueless:

Oh, and they're predicting that if we go to the Oval at 1-1 then the pitch will be a minefield, but if England is up 1-0 or 2-0, then it'll be a runway. :lol:

Funko
05-08-2009, 15:08:54
Yeah, please drop North, that'd be great.

Lazarus and the Gimp
05-08-2009, 16:41:30
Quote from Atherton in The Times today: "conditions at Headingley could not be less spin-friendly"


With a few dry days forecasted, and Headingly's notorious changeability, it's just further proof that Atherton's a knob.

Greg W
06-08-2009, 02:27:50
Yeah, please drop North, that'd be great.Yeah, I almost had apoplexy when I read that.

Funko
07-08-2009, 11:31:06
So, 1-1 going into the final test then.

Greg W
07-08-2009, 12:11:51
Jeese, good first session for the Aussies. Where the heck was Stuey Clark for the first 3 tests?

Flintoff out, Prior hurst his back playing football in the lead in. Harmy back in and Broad playing in Flintoff's role. Haddin in for the Aussies, no recognised spinner only part timers as Hauritz out, Clarke playing despite a stomach strain.

Can't wait to see how this goes from here. Come on Aussies! :beer:

Funko
07-08-2009, 12:17:00
If you don't win you should shoot your entire team, or curse the weather.

Greg W
07-08-2009, 12:22:32
Well, depends. The ball has been swinging for the Aussies, so a lot may depend on whether it stops with the sun being out. Heaven knows we don't seem to be able to play swing, so if it does, it could be both teams out for under 100 in their first innings.

Hopefully the pitch dries out and we can put on 800 though. :beer:

:nervous:

Funko
07-08-2009, 12:32:45
Apparently someone on the radio advising England to declare to take advantage of the bowling conditions. :D

Greg W
07-08-2009, 12:38:42
:lol:

Greg W
07-08-2009, 13:23:58
Even the tele commentators were talking about England maybe declaring. :lol:

No need now, all out for 102. Now to see how we bat and how much swing you get...

Greg W
07-08-2009, 13:42:00
Well, 1st over was good. 10 runs off it.

Harmy's first ball was much better than that of the previous series. His second however... He does seem to be getting movement not so much through the air as off the pitch...

And then Katich falls for the old 3 card trick. 1 down for 14 runs. :(

Funko
07-08-2009, 13:52:41
Got 1/4 of our score already though

Greg W
07-08-2009, 14:44:58
And 1-69 at tea. England have bowled way too much short stuff, to the point that at one stage we had a run rate of 8.2 an over. The commentators were calling it a twenty-20 batting rate!

When they pitch it up though, they have pretty regularly beaten the bat.

Greg W
07-08-2009, 14:54:21
Heh, some stats at tea.
Lowest England score v Australia at Headingley.
6th lowest score ever v Australia.
8th lowest 1st innings score ever by England.

More useless stats, but still, I'll enjoy them while I am able, may not be long... :cute:

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-08-2009, 19:25:58
Round-up....

Bopara needs a century in his second innings to save his test career. Quite possibly, so do Cook and Bell.

AGAIN, we have toothless bowlers. Reverse swing got us the 2005 Ashes, and nobody seems able to do it.

We still really, really miss Simon Jones and Trescothick.

Beta1
07-08-2009, 20:20:18
And 1-69 at tea. England have bowled way too much short stuff, to the point that at one stage we had a run rate of 8.2 an over. The commentators were calling it a twenty-20 batting rate!

When they pitch it up though, they have pretty regularly beaten the bat.

Havn't watched any but too many short pitched balls and steve harmison recalled.

Any connection?

However good harmison is at county level he wont be as good at test level until he starts bowling good line and length reliably.

Greg W
08-08-2009, 03:13:11
Oddly enough, Harmy looked one of your better bowlers most of the time. Especially as he added a bit of fire to the attack, hitting Clarke on the helmet and gloves late and removing Katich with aggression. Ok, he got spanked a time or two, but so did all your bowlers.

It was Anderson and Onions in particular that you expected to pitch the ball up more who failed to do so for the better part of the opening 30 overs. Broad at least finally seemed to bowl vaguely well when he was finally allowed to touch the ball, even if I thought Hussey's dismissal was dubious at best. Bowler bowling around the wicket hits a batsman in front of middle with the ball slanting heavily down leg side and not straightening at all? Hawk Eye showed it clipping leg stump but I can't see how there could be no doubt in the umpire's mind.

And don't get me started on Strauss' first ball. :bash:

I guess at least they got most of the other decisions right. Thank god they got rid of Rudi...

A lot will still depend on how much we manage to get in this first innings. Surely England can't bowl that poorly 2 days in a row? Not bat that badly in their second innings? A first innings lead could prove crucial, though with the pace the game is progressing, maybe batting on the 4th or 5th day won't be necessary.

Greg W
08-08-2009, 17:32:49
All over now bar the shouting...

Bring on the Oval. :beer:

Lazarus and the Gimp
08-08-2009, 17:44:56
Bopara was unlucky, but the bad call won't save him. The only glimmer of hope for the Oval is Broad finally delivering some of the goods.

fp
08-08-2009, 22:11:50
I hope our players are feeling mightily embarrassed tonight. They need to improve ten-fold if we're going to have a chance of winning the series at the Oval.

Greg W
09-08-2009, 15:26:07
Maybe you should bat Broad and Swann at 3 and 4. :cute:

And then Langer's dossier on England, with Vaughan agreeing to most of the points he made. Interestingly, I don't think that Broad is a player that we will ever be able to make go quiet, and I think he was very right in that the only way to get Flintoff down is to wear him down. But you could see how different Anderson looked when he couldn't swing the ball, he seemed to lose that aggressiveness he showed in the first couple of tests...

Still, set up for a very interesting series finale at The Oval. Talk already of a spinning wicket, though apparently the last match held there had scores of something like 500-8 declared and 600-5 declared, match over. I don't think the groundsman will give a pitch that isn't favourable to a result though, one way or the other. England need a win and the pitch will be made to suit a result, they'd be mad not to.

Just need to see who will get the result. Last two matches England were on top, but the tide seems to have turned. Can't wait. :beer:

Funko
10-08-2009, 07:43:10
I think Australia are better placed if the wicket doesn't do anything, draw or Australia win, but either way the Ashes will stay at Lords.

Lazarus and the Gimp
10-08-2009, 18:51:04
There's talk of recalling Mark Ramprakash. He's in ludicrously good form right now, but was another of those who never cut it at test level (Hi Bell!).

Still, I'd give him a shot in preference to Cook, Bell and Bopara.

fp
10-08-2009, 20:30:08
he can't do any worse than the current lot, that's for sure

Greg W
19-08-2009, 02:20:05
Well, seems like you'll be bringing in another South African instead, if the trashbin is anything to go by. :lol:

Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma. Four fast bowlers who did the job in the last test, a spinner who did a pretty good job in the first three, Brett Lee proving that he's fit in the county game... six just doesn't go into four unfortunately, and I am not even sure who I'd pick...

My gut instinct says you can't drop Clark. We need someone who can tie down an end. We need Hilfenhaus as he's consistently swung the new ball. I'd pick Johnson as he's finally got some confidence back and has started swinging the ball back into the right handers.

So to me it comes down to Hauritz, Lee or Siddle. IMHO Siddle's advantage is he can run in all day. But with 4 bowlers, plus Shane Watson ( :lol: ) and part time spinners in Clarke, Katich and North, overs shouldn't be a problem. There's the intimidation factor, but I think Lee edges him in that department. And Lee is probably our one bowler who regularly reverse swings the ball late on.

To me, that reverse swing should get Lee the nod over Siddle, who would be unlucky to lose his spot (and IMHO won't, I just think he should for team balance)...

So, Lee or Hauritz... If it was Lee or Warne, no contest. But Hauritz is no Warne. We don't need him to tie down an end, we don't need him to bowl overs... IMHO we don't really need him as our backup spinners are good enough.

So, I'd pick Hilfenhaus, Johnson, Clark and Lee as our four bowlers. I have a feeling that it will be Johnson, Siddle, Hilfenhaus and Clark though. With the possibility of Hauritz instead of Clark. I'll die of shock if they pick Lee, as much as I think they should. :(

Another argument is that with Johnson and Lee as decent batsmen, we lose some of the need for a true all-rounder in Watson. I think that's more a long term issue, however, as I think Watson is a shoe-in for the match.

Beta1
19-08-2009, 07:21:09
I'm g;ad they are giving trott a chance (even if he is another ex-pat south african). 've seen him bat at edgebaston a few times this year and he certainly looks the part.

Greg W
20-08-2009, 16:59:11
Good comeback by Australia after England were 1-108 at lunch. Lord knows I don't want to be batting last on this pitch though, it's disintegrating already! :eek:

1st innings lead will be very important.

*End Is Forever*
20-08-2009, 22:27:44
I don't think 300 is as bad a score on that track as Aggers makes out.

Funko
21-08-2009, 07:41:59
We could end up with 350...

It's a shame we still don't have batsmen who can make centuries in this series. KP is a bit of a miss.

Fistandantilus
21-08-2009, 08:52:16
This started back in early july?

Funko
21-08-2009, 09:31:02
Yeah, 5 matches of up to 5 days each. Not all on consecutive weeks.

Fistandantilus
21-08-2009, 11:54:57
That's the proof cricket is not popular at all around the world..

Funko
21-08-2009, 11:55:51
2nd most popular sport in the world.

Fistandantilus
21-08-2009, 11:57:55
The first one being rugby I suppose

Funko
21-08-2009, 12:00:28
Rugby doesn't have the support of the Indian subcontinent.

Fistandantilus
21-08-2009, 12:03:52
Losers.

It must be polo then.

Funko
21-08-2009, 12:13:40
Third is field hockey, for the same reason as Cricket.

King_Ghidra
21-08-2009, 14:13:41
come on broad. come on you fuckers.

Funko
21-08-2009, 14:18:00
Broad FTW.

King_Ghidra
21-08-2009, 14:23:17
come on! fucking come on!

Funko
21-08-2009, 14:23:31
4 in 4 overs?!

Tell your fucking story walking Bruce.

King_Ghidra
21-08-2009, 14:25:20
damn it i wish i could watch this live.

some bastards on the train were talking about how they had sky player set up on a laptop in their office.

Greg W
21-08-2009, 14:32:19
And I wish I wasn't watching this live. Batting collapse of the series in the last 10 overs or so... :(

Greg W
21-08-2009, 14:58:33
And it just gets worse. If England fail to win from here, they deserve to be shot.

And another bad decision for North. Makes little difference, just another reason to bring the appeals system in ASAP...

King_Ghidra
21-08-2009, 15:06:13
ANOTHER

Funko
21-08-2009, 15:58:12
What's the follow on score?!

Funko
21-08-2009, 16:00:39
Ah, avoided that already. Shame. :(

Funko
21-08-2009, 16:01:04
12-1-37-5

Funko
21-08-2009, 16:03:56
9! :beer:

Funko
21-08-2009, 16:06:04
Apparently that decision was a shocker.

Funko
21-08-2009, 16:07:29
Are teh fans at the Oval singing "Are you England in disguise?"

Ponting b Broad 8
Hussey lbw b Broad 0
Clarke c Trott b Broad 3
North lbw b Swann 8
Haddin b Broad 1

That's a thing of beauty.

Funko
21-08-2009, 16:20:25
OUT! 160 Flintoff.

:beer: :beer: :beer:

Cort Haus
21-08-2009, 22:39:57
Now England's turn to collapse...

Lazarus and the Gimp
22-08-2009, 14:49:27
England now on 269-7. A run-chase of 450+ is looming, and there's loads of time left on a cranky pitch.

Trott's doing well. PAY ATTENTION, COOK!

Lazarus and the Gimp
22-08-2009, 15:37:00
Australia now need the biggest run-chase in test history to save the Ashes.

Lazarus and the Gimp
22-08-2009, 15:54:12
Incidentally, if anyone thinks my slating of Cook throughout this series has been harsh, here are some stats.

Cook's Ashes average prior to 2009- 27.
Cook's average in 2009 Ashes- 24.66
Cook's 2009 average if we discount that one top score of 95- 15.875.

Amazingly, in the BBC poll asking who should be replaced by the returning Pietersen, very few voted for him.

Lazarus and the Gimp
23-08-2009, 14:24:56
Shock ending #1.

Hussey has remembered how to use a bat.

Greg W
23-08-2009, 15:00:22
In the end the difference between the two sides has been two magnificent spells. One by Flintoff and one by Broad. And two bad innings to go with them by us. Oh, and two very good innings by Strauss that coincided with those two magnificent spells.

Very close series that could have gone either way...

Lazarus and the Gimp
23-08-2009, 15:13:50
It still could. No Englishman is writing off Australia yet- we've seen what those batsmen can do.

Greg W
23-08-2009, 15:52:45
No way will Australia get another 246 runs to win the match. No team in something like 400,000 first class matches (from memory, heard it on the radio) has ever scored that much batting last to win a match, and we won't be the first.

lightblue
23-08-2009, 16:50:10
And that's that.

*End Is Forever*
23-08-2009, 17:55:25
:beer:

Lazarus and the Gimp
23-08-2009, 18:12:19
Flintoff is scheduled for knee surgery on Tuesday. I suspect he won't need anaesthetic.

Funko
24-08-2009, 07:44:13
:beer:

Amazing. It definitely was a very close series.

Funko
24-08-2009, 07:48:48
Who would come in for Cook as an opener? I don't have a clue who there is around to replace him, Bell seems much more replaceable.

Lazarus and the Gimp
24-08-2009, 08:32:54
Why get hung up on the order? Australia demonstrated that an in-form middle-order batsmen makes a better opener than an underperforming habitual opener. On Pietersen's return, if it boils down to a choice between Cook and Trott surely only a nutter would pick Cook. His Ashes average was poor coming into this series, and has declined since.

Funko
24-08-2009, 08:37:56
Yeah, fair enough.

Trott was very impressive.

Greg W
24-08-2009, 13:12:57
Why get hung up on the order? Australia demonstrated that an in-form middle-order batsmen makes a better opener than an underperforming habitual opener.Watson usually bats #3 for his state and #3 is quite often called on to basically be an opener when an early wicket falls. And he opens on one dayers, so not such a big difference.

I still would have liked to see how Hughes would have done. He had a poor start (though not particularly worse than Hussey), but I would have liked to see if he could overcome the problems he was having. Not like he's never been subjected to short pitched bowling before, just maybe not at the class of a Flintoff and co...

As for a new player coming in, why not get Graham Smith? Seems like you have the rest of the South Africans anyway. :p

Funko
24-08-2009, 13:27:47
Bitter!

Fistandantilus
24-08-2009, 14:20:50
By the look of it it seems England won. Congrats.

Greg W
24-08-2009, 14:38:46
Bitter!Not after my experience with Old Peculier! :nervous:

*End Is Forever*
24-08-2009, 14:59:21
As for a new player coming in, why not get Graham Smith? Seems like you have the rest of the South Africans anyway. :p

Trott is no more South African than Andrew Symonds is English...

Funko
24-08-2009, 15:09:19
Well he's less English than KP or Strauss for instance.

Funko
24-08-2009, 15:10:25
But it's a pointless argument, they all qualify to play for England.

Greg W
24-08-2009, 15:29:49
Trott is no more South African than Andrew Symonds is English...He was born in South Africa and played for the South African under 19s. Symonds played for the country of his birth, which IMHO should be the only selection criteria...

*End Is Forever*
24-08-2009, 15:38:44
He was born in South Africa and played for the South African under 19s. Symonds played for the country of his birth, which IMHO should be the only selection criteria...

Symonds was born in Birmingham which, last time I checked, was 90 minutes or so down the M6 from here...

Funko
24-08-2009, 15:44:39
He was born in South Africa and played for the South African under 19s. Symonds played for the country of his birth, which IMHO should be the only selection criteria...

But it isn't. So we play with the rules as they are.

Greg W
24-08-2009, 15:46:32
Symonds was born in Birmingham which, last time I checked, was 90 minutes or so down the M6 from here...Ah, see, I never knew he was adopted. I knew his parents were both Aussies and assumed he was too.

Funko
24-08-2009, 15:58:33
Er... his adopted parents are also English but moved to Australia when he was 3 months.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/jan/13/comment.news

Greg W
24-08-2009, 16:00:40
Ok, just ignore me then... :cute:

Who was I thinking about then? Oh well, never mind... :nervous:

Greg W
24-08-2009, 16:05:35
And anyway, that's still one Englishman who briefly played Test Cricket for Suatralia (and one dayers for a lot longer) vs 4 South Africans in your side. :p

Greg W
24-08-2009, 16:08:32
And one me who can't type for shit, is tired, emotional and is going to bed...

*End Is Forever*
24-08-2009, 16:40:19
Both Strauss and Pietersen have an English parent, and Trott's grandparents were English emigrants, so I don't really think their heritage is in question. In any case, most countries have exploited the qualification criteria - for every English Allan Lamb there's an Australian Kepler Wessels...

MOBIUS
24-08-2009, 23:54:10
Yeah!

Funko
25-08-2009, 07:57:05
Both Strauss and Pietersen have an English parent, and Trott's grandparents were English emigrants, so I don't really think their heritage is in question. In any case, most countries have exploited the qualification criteria - for every English Allan Lamb there's an Australian Kepler Wessels...

Where do you Kepler Nuclear Wessels?

MOBIUS
25-08-2009, 10:08:37
*GROAN*

The Shaker
25-08-2009, 17:38:03
I think the ability to do a perfect mental accent shows just what a high quality gag that was.

Lazarus and the Gimp
26-08-2009, 16:01:28
Ashes awards!

Best batsman- Strauss, but only just ahead of Clarke.

Best bowler- Hilfenhaus by a comfortable margin. Broad may have had a spectacular ending, but he was dodgy at the start.

Best wicket-keeper- Prior takes that one.

Most irritating- Ponting's incessant moaning and whimpering almost gets him first place, but he's pipped by that raging tosspot Billy Bowden, who appears firmly convinced that the crowds have turned up to watch his umpiring.

Best captain- Strauss.

Stupidest decision- Not playing Hauritz on the Oval's "dark side of the moon" pitch.

Hero of the series- Hauritz for batting and bowling with a dislocated finger. This puts him ahead of Flintoff's dicky knee and POnting fountaining blood from his moaning mouth.

Lazarus and the Gimp
26-08-2009, 16:06:14
Best new arrival- North. Where the hell did he come from? Broad comes second.

Funniest moment- Johnson squaring up to Flintoff. It looked like a flamingo offering aggro to a Polar Bear.