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Resource Consumer
04-08-2008, 23:37:32
1. Those twats that sit on the aisle portion of the seat thinking "Hey! I'm cool, nobody will dare ask me to move to access the inner seat and I can ride all the way in comfort while the rest of humanity can stand". (aside : dream on - I have started targetting these people on empty busses - they look confused and then move to the other available seats - victory)

2. Bus drivers that have the heating on in summer (see other thread)

3. Tourists

4. Tourists in numbers greater than 4 (annoyance x 2)

5. Twats that try and slurp their Starbucks coffee when sat next to me on the bus. Well, frankly, given the erratic stop-start movements of our busses and speed bumps etc then you would consider it as a silly idea, wouldn't you. However, a swift jab in the ribs whilst going round a corner has certainly messed up the sartorial elegance of a few of these on their way to work at twat central.

Greg W
05-08-2008, 02:09:23
If I see someone get on the bus with a coffee, I tell them they can't bring it on.

Heh heh, now if I were to give a few points form a bus driver's point of view, I'd have an awfully long list. :D

Oerdin
05-08-2008, 06:01:48
You coffee hater!

Resource Consumer
05-08-2008, 10:03:41
Go on Greg - let us have the list :)

LoD
05-08-2008, 11:03:38
Originally posted by Resource Consumer
1. Those twats that sit on the aisle portion of the seat thinking "Hey! I'm cool, nobody will dare ask me to move to access the inner seat and I can ride all the way in comfort while the rest of humanity can stand". (aside : dream on - I have started targetting these people on empty busses - they look confused and then move to the other available seats - victory

I don't know about London (or Reading) buses, but in Warsaw the aisle portion is simply more ergonomic for taller people. Not to mention the fact that sitting by the window at this time of the year, exposed to the sun, is not exactly comfortable in those buses without AC turned on*.

Summary: Keith's been getting cranky lately :p.

*cue "alternating current" jokes

MOBIUS
05-08-2008, 11:08:57
He must be in grumpy old man territory by now...

Lurker the Second
05-08-2008, 12:42:13
New business venture sighted: sell sip tops for coffee cups to messy brits.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
05-08-2008, 12:44:24
And sip thongs?

MDA
05-08-2008, 12:49:13
big gulps

MoSe
05-08-2008, 13:05:29
that's the eating part

Greg W
05-08-2008, 14:09:13
Originally posted by Resource Consumer
Go on Greg - let us have the list :) 1. Passengers are morons.

Seriously, to give you an example...

We have these green ticket machines that you must validate your tickets in. They're in fixed positions inside the bus either side of the front door. One driver last week had the machines begin to play up. Eventually after getting sick of telling people that they weren't working and them not listening to him, he removed them and placed them on the front dash.

One idiot came in, went to where the first machine should be with his ticket. Gave a puzzled look, turned to where the second machine should be, and gave another puzzled look. The driver in question of course told him they weren't working. Ignored...

Then looking around in desperation, the passenger sighted the machines on the dash. Picked one up and attempted to put his ticket in the machine.

:clueless:

2. See 1.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Greg W
05-08-2008, 14:13:06
Originally posted by Oerdin
You coffee hater! It's illegal (as in against the law - they cannot seem to grasp this) to eat or drink on public transport. Kicked one lady off my bus for trying to bring a coffee on, so she walked to the bus behind me, coffee in hand, and got on.

My issue with it all... If we allow them on with the coffee, they spill it all over someone and scald them, both passengers could sue us for not informing them that they can't bring it on. Which highlights how we're becoming more and more litigious like America. :bash:

And that's not even mentioning that most people leave food wrappers, coffee cups, drink bottles, open tins of tuna they drop on the floor and so on inside the bus when they get off...

MDA
05-08-2008, 14:13:21
seriously OCD passenger? :lol:

Greg W
05-08-2008, 14:13:43
Oh, and I could go on with example after example, but I'd be here for hours.

Funko
05-08-2008, 14:21:44
Presumably it's illegal to ride the bus without a validated ticket? I can see why people would be confused by that.

Venom
05-08-2008, 14:29:18
Oh my funny Athens bus story that I've never told you people.

Greg W
05-08-2008, 14:36:40
Do tell, Venom...Originally posted by Funko
Presumably it's illegal to ride the bus without a validated ticket? I can see why people would be confused by that. It is. Unless the driver tells you the machine's aren't working.

mr_B
05-08-2008, 14:49:06
Originally posted by Venom
Oh my funny Athens bus story that I've never told you people. pleezzzz keep it that way

Venom
05-08-2008, 14:51:43
You got it, cock sucker.

Lurker the Second
05-08-2008, 14:58:33
You bastard, I want to hear the story. I'm hoping it will whitewash Greg's story out of my mind completely.

Provost Harrison
05-08-2008, 20:48:36
Originally posted by Venom
Oh my funny Athens bus story that I've never told you people.

I presume your "fuller figure" resulted in you getting trapped in a door or between seats in an aisle? ;)

I hate people who play their bloody music too loud. I've taken to decapitating them and waving their heads out of the window at random police officers...

Resource Consumer
05-08-2008, 23:22:36
Originally posted by Greg W
It's illegal (as in against the law - they cannot seem to grasp this) to eat or drink on public transport. Kicked one lady off my bus for trying to bring a coffee on, so she walked to the bus behind me, coffee in hand, and got on.

My issue with it all... If we allow them on with the coffee, they spill it all over someone and scald them, both passengers could sue us for not informing them that they can't bring it on. Which highlights how we're becoming more and more litigious like America. :bash:

And that's not even mentioning that most people leave food wrappers, coffee cups, drink bottles, open tins of tuna they drop on the floor and so on inside the bus when they get off...

Strangely enough, I agree. I am really fucked off with riding in buses and paddling around in leakage from some git's KFC.

Drekkus
06-08-2008, 08:59:34
Originally posted by Lurker the Second
You bastard, I want to hear the story. I'm hoping it will whitewash Greg's story out of my mind completely. The mere fact that Venom would ride a bus is funny. Venom in a bus full of sweaty, hairy greeks is even funnier.
So let's hear it!

Greg W
06-08-2008, 13:33:27
Originally posted by Resource Consumer
Strangely enough, I agree. I am really fucked off with riding in buses and paddling around in leakage from some git's KFC. As a driver, the worst thing is when you're hungry, and someone gets on an air conditioned bus (cos it circulates the smell) with something that smells nice. :(

Venom
06-08-2008, 13:52:32
It was the first time I've ever ridden a bus that wasn't a school bus or some sort of airport shuttle. Hilarity ensued.

mr_B
06-08-2008, 13:53:43
waswas

Venom
06-08-2008, 14:00:40
Well, I rode a bus in Reading too I think, but I had helpers with me then.

mr_B
06-08-2008, 14:03:07
so i guess you had problems with a ticketje.

once i heard a very funny story about two old german farts who had problems with a ticketje in amsterdamn

Drekkus
06-08-2008, 14:11:44
Yeah, stupid idiots didn't read the opening times signs

Resource Consumer
06-08-2008, 14:14:07
Your buses have opening times? Like our pubs?

mr_B
06-08-2008, 14:26:26
jesjes and doors too and busdrivers and seats and gum on the seats and free papers laaik metro and brakes and a steering wheel

Lurker the Second
06-08-2008, 14:36:43
Don't forget the hookers.

MoSe
06-08-2008, 16:01:17
I hate buses when I'm tired and I lean my head on a window, then the bus stops and the idle engine sends vibrations that make the window and my teeth rattle

Lurker the Second
06-08-2008, 16:37:17
There was this one time when we were on a bus for band camp and a girl farted.

mr_B
07-08-2008, 10:24:43
tell me more tell me more

MDA
07-08-2008, 11:08:20
jesjes more about the hookers!

Greg W
07-08-2008, 11:15:25
Yeah, now driving New Years Eve on the buses you get some interesting sights...

Drekkus
07-08-2008, 13:17:59
such as?

Lurker the Second
07-08-2008, 13:31:02
Originally posted by mr_B
tell me more tell me more

It was just loud, not smelly.

MoSe
07-08-2008, 13:54:36
Tell me more, tell me more,
Was it love at first sight
Tell me more, tell me more,
Did she put up a fight

Tizzy
07-08-2008, 13:59:01
Oh God. That's what I thought when I read mrG's post too....

Lurker the Second
07-08-2008, 14:16:38
That's a good sign. We all know Funko is really in love with mr.G, so this can be considered progress.

mr_B
07-08-2008, 14:32:50
shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop,shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEH

Greg W
07-08-2008, 15:48:43
Originally posted by Drekkus
such as? Women in very low cut dresses and/or very short skirts (often drunk).

People having sex on your bus! :eek:

Amongst other things...

Venom
07-08-2008, 15:53:14
I can see how people having sex would be alien to you.

Greg W
07-08-2008, 15:57:57
I generally don't watch people have sex, no. Especially on my bus...

Funko
07-08-2008, 16:02:09
What about on the internet?

Greg W
07-08-2008, 16:05:27
I'm not sure I have ever watched people have sex on the internet.

MoSe
07-08-2008, 16:26:44
you download the files in local, before watching them?

MOBIUS
07-08-2008, 20:50:25
How very disciplined of you...

Oerdin
07-08-2008, 23:52:08
Originally posted by MoSe
Tell me more, tell me more,
Was it love at first sight
Tell me more, tell me more,
Did she put up a fight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7vq9f84RbY

Greg W
08-08-2008, 02:25:02
Originally posted by MoSe
you download the files in local, before watching them? But of course. :cute:

MoSe
08-08-2008, 07:35:51
Originally posted by Oerdin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7vq9f84RbY

brilliant find

but I still can't figure whether Tizzy was referring to this, or if hers was a X-post replying to Lurker....
:clueless:

Tizzy
08-08-2008, 08:44:46
That was no x-post

MoSe
08-08-2008, 09:08:57
I'm sorry for you

Tizzy
08-08-2008, 09:12:27
Me too

mr_B
08-08-2008, 10:40:52
I agree with Tizzy

MoSe
08-08-2008, 10:52:46
you are the culprit
a pretty cool culprit