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protein
24-07-2008, 19:18:56
the tv safe version anyway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AJoRggrExQ

Vincent
24-07-2008, 19:41:52
Hmm ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxFZr8BYfD0

Drake Tungsten
24-07-2008, 23:01:25
That video will never work in America. There's basically five ways a British band can make a video that will succeed in America...

1. Don't show the band.

Americans don't like looking at British people; they're all too pasty and have bad teeth. Unfortunately, British people often don't understand how hideous they are and therefore send over plenty of videos every year that fail due to revulsion on the part of the America audience.

There are exceptions. Thom Yorke, for example, knows how unattractive he is and Radiohead wisely decided to animate the video for "Paranoid Android." It's little wonder that this turned out to be one of the biggest hit videos ever for a British band in America.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szdWPWnnNls

2. Try to look like the Beatles.

Americans love the Beatles. One of the few ways you can get away with flaunting your ugly British mug on American TV is by having a moptop and wearing round Lennon glasses. Liam Gallagher knew this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAPtTS0TYtU

3. Pretend you're not in England.

Part of the reason Americans love John Lennon so much is that he was smart enough to move to America as soon as he got the chance. We understand that one can't help being born in Britain, so we're pretty accepting of British people who escape to the States. Clever British bands use this to their advantage by setting their videos in nondescript rooms that the audience can easily imagine is somewhere in New York rather than London.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JATWwU3Aa-4

Please note that Blur was also smart enough to not provide any good looks at the band. Damon Albarn and Alex James, while handsome by British standards, are still likely to set off the gag reflex in an American audience. This is why their faces are wisely kept in shadow, covered with hair or obscured by smoke and flying garbage.

4. Act like a badass and/or like you hate Britain.

If a British band simply must reveal their faces or the fact that they still live in Britain, they can get around this by acting like a badass. Americans don't like British people because of their ugly faces, but being ugly is actually a plus if you also look like you can kick ass. This explains why Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham still get work in Hollywood despite the fact that they can't act.

Watch as Supergrass combines a nondescript room with a menacing air of badassness to make "Richard III" palatable to an American audience...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISHulhCmVb4

Even better than being a badass is being a badass who also hates Britain. The Verve pulled this off beautifully with their popular video for "Bittersweet Symphony." Richard Ashcroft's badass demeanor and seeming contempt for all the British people around him really resonated with American viewers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-Po8uJeoUw

5. Act totally gay.

Some British bands are too weak-looking to manufacture a badass image, but also too proud to hide their ugly faces and/or pretend they live in America. These bands are full of morons, but they still have one option left open to them. Just act gay.

Americans already consider most British people to be gay, thanks to their faggy accents and limp-wristed mannerisms. However, Americans are totally cool with gay culture now, so a British band that embraces American stereotypes and adopts a gay image still has a chance to craft a winning video. Observe...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9j_RZDqYc4

Embarassingly theatrical grooving at the piano? Overly emotional whining on the mic? A laser light show that could be set in any gay club in Chelsea? Good lord, these guys are going to be bigger in America than Elton John...

Asher
24-07-2008, 23:07:41
That song reminds me of Peter Gabriel.

Drake Tungsten
24-07-2008, 23:13:31
It's a good song.

alsieboo
24-07-2008, 23:17:01
Breasts and lesbians! Until that part, it was kinda depressing, which is bad because before, I never actually listened to the lyrics of that song and I thought it was kinda happy. But I'm retarded, so thats ok.

Sir Penguin
25-07-2008, 00:33:28
It is an excellent video, but surpassed by the Japanese mimes rocking out to We Are Rockstars.

SP

mr_B
25-07-2008, 07:45:29
Originally posted by Drake Tungsten
That video will never work in America. There's basically five ways a British band can make a video that will succeed in America...

1. Don't show the band.

2. Try to look like the Beatles.

3. Pretend you're not in England.

4. Act like a badass and/or like you hate Britain.

5. Act totally gay.



Protein please take Drake's advice seriously serious, you wanna know why?

1. He's a polynerd and polynerds know how the world works.

2. He's a polynerd and polynerds know how the world works.

3. He's a polynerd and polynerds know how the world works.

4. He's a polynerd and polynerds know how the world works.

5. He's a polynerd and polynerds know how the world works.

mr_B
25-07-2008, 07:45:52
btw great video

Funko
25-07-2008, 08:16:07
That's one of my favourite songs off the album.

I'd like to see the uncut version of the video!

Also, someone link to Japanese people miming to we are rockstars!

C.G.B. Spender
25-07-2008, 08:45:53
The world works?

mr_B
25-07-2008, 08:47:04
ask the uber polynerd Drakeje

he knows man cause he is schjmarrrrrrrt

C.G.B. Spender
25-07-2008, 08:52:54
How do I remove him from my ignore list?

Funko
25-07-2008, 09:16:31
Originally posted by Drake Tungsten
That video will never work in America. There's basically five ways a British band can make a video that will succeed in America...

1. Don't show the band.

Americans don't like looking at British people; they're all too pasty and have bad teeth. Unfortunately, British people often don't understand how hideous they are and therefore send over plenty of videos every year that fail due to revulsion on the part of the America audience.

There are exceptions. Thom Yorke, for example, knows how unattractive he is and Radiohead wisely decided to animate the video for "Paranoid Android." It's little wonder that this turned out to be one of the biggest hit videos ever for a British band in America.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szdWPWnnNls

2. Try to look like the Beatles.

Americans love the Beatles. One of the few ways you can get away with flaunting your ugly British mug on American TV is by having a moptop and wearing round Lennon glasses. Liam Gallagher knew this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAPtTS0TYtU

3. Pretend you're not in England.

Part of the reason Americans love John Lennon so much is that he was smart enough to move to America as soon as he got the chance. We understand that one can't help being born in Britain, so we're pretty accepting of British people who escape to the States. Clever British bands use this to their advantage by setting their videos in nondescript rooms that the audience can easily imagine is somewhere in New York rather than London.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JATWwU3Aa-4

Please note that Blur was also smart enough to not provide any good looks at the band. Damon Albarn and Alex James, while handsome by British standards, are still likely to set off the gag reflex in an American audience. This is why their faces are wisely kept in shadow, covered with hair or obscured by smoke and flying garbage.

4. Act like a badass and/or like you hate Britain.

If a British band simply must reveal their faces or the fact that they still live in Britain, they can get around this by acting like a badass. Americans don't like British people because of their ugly faces, but being ugly is actually a plus if you also look like you can kick ass. This explains why Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham still get work in Hollywood despite the fact that they can't act.

Watch as Supergrass combines a nondescript room with a menacing air of badassness to make "Richard III" palatable to an American audience...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISHulhCmVb4

Even better than being a badass is being a badass who also hates Britain. The Verve pulled this off beautifully with their popular video for "Bittersweet Symphony." Richard Ashcroft's badass demeanor and seeming contempt for all the British people around him really resonated with American viewers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-Po8uJeoUw

5. Act totally gay.

Some British bands are too weak-looking to manufacture a badass image, but also too proud to hide their ugly faces and/or pretend they live in America. These bands are full of morons, but they still have one option left open to them. Just act gay.

Americans already consider most British people to be gay, thanks to their faggy accents and limp-wristed mannerisms. However, Americans are totally cool with gay culture now, so a British band that embraces American stereotypes and adopts a gay image still has a chance to craft a winning video. Observe...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9j_RZDqYc4

Embarassingly theatrical grooving at the piano? Overly emotional whining on the mic? A laser light show that could be set in any gay club in Chelsea? Good lord, these guys are going to be bigger in America than Elton John...


That post will never work on Counterglow. There's basically five ways a Polytubby can make a post that will succeed on Counterglow...

1. Don't show your lack of humour.

CGers don't like reading polytubby posts; they're all too self righteous and have bad logic. Unfortunately, Polytubbies often don't understand how ignorant and boring they are and therefore bring over plenty of posts every year that fail due to revulsion on the part of the CG audience.

2. Try to look like a moron

Counterglowers love morons aka Dutchmen. One of the few ways you can get away with flaunting your arrogant poly arse on Counterglow is by pretending to be really dumb. Just go around posting doooo di dooo or jesjes. If you can't do that, then do genuinely stupid stuff and tell us about it. You could explode fermenting apples and rotten meat around your house, throw a perfectly good new laptop at the wall, drive to court very early and find out your session is not that day, suggest that your wife's summer clothes do not fit her when they just don't fit in the closet or something similar.


3. Pretend you live in Reading.

Part of the reason CGers love Tizzy so much is that she was smart enough to move to Reading as soon as she got the chance. We understand that one can't help being born outside Reading, so we're pretty accepting of aliens, people who escape from their homes to come to Reading. Clever CGers use this to their advantage by filling their posts with obscure local reading references and slang so that outsiders can't understand them.


4. Act like a sadcase and/or like you love the Baltimore Orioles.

If a Polytubby simply must reveal their tubby nature or the fact that they still post at Poly, they can get around this by acting like a sadcase. CGers don't like polytubbies because of their superior attitude, but being superior can be forgiven if are a sadcase who's superiority is fundamentally based on the support of a sports team who basically suck such as the Baltimore Orioles. That way we can all enoy the bathos.


5. Act totally gay.

Some CGers are too good-looking to manufacture a sadcase image, but also too proud to hide their ugly faces and/or pretend they live outside Reading. These CGers are still a bunch of morons, but they still have one option left open to them. Just act gay.

Polytubbies already consider most CGers to be gay, thanks to their faggy accents and limp-wristed mannerisms. However, CGers are totally cool with gay culture, so a Polytubby that embraces CG stereotypes and adopts a gay image still has a chance to craft a winning post.

mr_B
25-07-2008, 09:19:01
this post needs a medal

managment pleezzzz take those 5 rules of mozes in the glossary pleeezzzzz

C.G.B. Spender
25-07-2008, 09:20:20
So I did it all wrong

Funko
25-07-2008, 09:21:02
Why do you think we all hate you?

C.G.B. Spender
25-07-2008, 09:22:01
I knew there was a good reason

mr_B
25-07-2008, 09:22:02
only zmama loves that big german poly lover

Funko
25-07-2008, 09:22:07
Nah, o/c you are one of the greatest sadcases and morons at CG. We love you.

C.G.B. Spender
25-07-2008, 09:22:30
That's why she hardly posts these days

mr_B
25-07-2008, 09:23:04
Originally posted by Funko
Nah, o/c you are one of the greatest sadcases and morons at CG. We love you. I hope this is not an Xpost

C.G.B. Spender
25-07-2008, 09:23:27
I thought eventually you'd learn to love me because of my counting skills

Funko
25-07-2008, 09:23:45
That is definitely not an x-post.

mr_B
25-07-2008, 09:23:52
counting your divorces?

Funko
25-07-2008, 09:24:06
0

C.G.B. Spender
25-07-2008, 09:25:29
1

Funko
25-07-2008, 09:26:27
2

C.G.B. Spender
25-07-2008, 09:26:47
3

mr_B
25-07-2008, 09:28:16
IIII

Funko
25-07-2008, 09:29:12
5

mr_B
25-07-2008, 09:32:30
sex

mr_B
25-07-2008, 09:32:59
hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi i said sex instead of sax instead of six

C.G.B. Spender
25-07-2008, 10:22:59
that' wrong

Lurker the Second
25-07-2008, 14:17:41
:lol: good one funko you clever ladtj.

mr_B
25-07-2008, 14:49:03
:lol:

jesjes man, that man is a genius

Sir Penguin
25-07-2008, 14:59:30
Originally posted by Funko
Also, someone link to Japanese people miming to we are rockstars!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z82JIOZ0nQY

Awesome.

SP

Funko
25-07-2008, 15:08:50
Awesome.

mr_B
25-07-2008, 15:17:54
wicked

protein
25-07-2008, 15:18:24
that video is amazing!

Vincent
25-07-2008, 18:57:24
you should hire them for the next official video

Oerdin
25-07-2008, 21:30:02
The video looks like a really good effort. The German zombie video is also good.

Drake Tungsten
27-07-2008, 13:26:10
I always wondered why Pulp never had any success in America, but it's totally clear now after watching some of their videos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EMd9zyJLgA

Jesus. Not only is the band front and center, but they filled the video with crappy special effects just to make sure everyone knows it was made in England.

Also, that girl doesn't look Greek at all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61ThRHYFQvU

What is it with British bands and videos that tell stupid subtitled stories? This one reminds of the Radiohead's video for "Just", which also sucks...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5X7HKxpiQA

And even the totally nondescript white room isn't enough to overcome all the Jarvis Cocker closeups in this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1LE9s8RxYg

Damn, I love every one of these songs, but finally seeing the videos makes me somewhat embarrassed to admit it. I can see why none of these videos ever got any American airtime back in the day.

I wonder if this explains why Suede never made it in America, as well? A cursory examination of their videos seems to indicate "yes"...

Lazarus and the Gimp
27-07-2008, 14:02:49
Why is Drake only interested in videos of really camp men?

Drake Tungsten
27-07-2008, 14:19:35
Can't really be helped when you're posting British videos...

Immortal Wombat
27-07-2008, 14:46:57
I always took it to mean that she wasn't Greek, but had jet-setty parents who had raised her in the ex-pat community on Corfu or Rhodes or something.

(I may have been subconsciously assuming that all Greeks were already common people...)

Drake Tungsten
27-07-2008, 14:55:50
Never thought of it that way. I always thought she was the daughter of some rich elite in Greece sent to England for her education.

Immortal Wombat
27-07-2008, 14:58:42
Also: Music videos are for twats anyway.

Vincent
27-07-2008, 15:04:28
True. It's for people too stupid to listen to music. Music videos should also have captions to explain what's going on

Lazarus and the Gimp
27-07-2008, 15:13:53
I like music videos.

Here are my favourites-


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoVe4VoX-qI (Coil- "Tainted love")


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdhHMXTGCC8 (The Young Gods - "Envoye")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xja7UXSZmps (Martin Grech- "Open heart zoo")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPpUFBVSyWs (Front 242- "Headhunter") This one isn't work-safe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mUmdR69nbM (This Mortal Coil- "Song to the siren")

Vincent
27-07-2008, 15:16:12
See? I was right again!
Hoorah!

Drake Tungsten
27-07-2008, 15:22:18
The nudity in that Front 242 video seems quaint having just watched Nelly's "Tip Drill"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BANNdtK9Kg

Really not safe for work. Neither are the homemade movies it has spawned...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUEQYZ0OC6s

Vincent
27-07-2008, 15:35:16
I like this better http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzLi_BynWek

Drake Tungsten
27-07-2008, 15:38:58
Wow. Never knew the guy from "The Shield" did gay wrestling videos in Germany. Awesome.

Funko
28-07-2008, 08:13:30
Nick Fury?

C.G.B. Spender
28-07-2008, 08:16:27
Venom

Funko
28-07-2008, 08:17:22
He was never in SHIELD.

C.G.B. Spender
28-07-2008, 08:19:44
He should have been.

Funko
28-07-2008, 08:20:14
Nick would have been annoyed.

C.G.B. Spender
28-07-2008, 08:21:42
I think he can't say no to gay wrestlers

Drekkus
28-07-2008, 08:23:19
Isn't gay wrestler something like white snow?

C.G.B. Spender
28-07-2008, 08:23:54
It's like going to 11