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View Full Version : The great Haltemprice dilemma


Lazarus and the Gimp
10-07-2008, 07:10:11
Q- if you, like me, think the Tories are the Antichrist, who the bloody hell would you vote for out of this rabble?

Grace Christine Astley - Independent
David Laurence Bishop - Church of the Militant Elvis Party
Ronnie Carroll - Make Politicians History
Mad Cow-Girl - The Official Monster Raving Loony Party
David Craig - Independent
Herbert Winford Crossman - Independent
Tess Culnane - National Front Britain for the British
Thomas Faithful Darwood - Independent
David Michael Davis - Conservative
Tony Farnon - Independent
Eamonn "Fitzy" Fitzpatrick - Independent
Christopher Mark Foren - Independent
Gemma Dawn Garrett - Miss Great Britain Party
George Hargreaves - Christian Party
Hamish Howitt - Freedom 4 Choice
David Icke - No party listed
John Nicholson - Independent
Shan Oakes - Green Party
David Pinder - The New Party
Joanne Robinson - English Democrats: Putting England First
Jill Saward - Independent
Norman Scarth - Independent
Walter Edward Sweeney - Independent
Christopher John Talbot - Socialist Equality Party
John Randle Upex - Independent
Greg Wood - Independent

KrazyHorse
10-07-2008, 07:15:07
National Front. Duh.

Scabrous Birdseed
10-07-2008, 07:48:33
I'd vote for David Craig, because we need to fa-fastforward the pace of reform.

Funko
10-07-2008, 07:49:08
I couldn't vote in the recent Henley by election, but I do work here and out of all the candidates the Monster Raving Loony party were the best bet I think.

Scabrous Birdseed
10-07-2008, 07:50:36
Oh no wait, you can vote for David Icke. It'd be great to see him get a seat, because since he believes all politicians are lizard people, he himself would have to be one too.

Resource Consumer
10-07-2008, 10:08:36
I'd vote for one of the Davids!

Kitsuki
10-07-2008, 12:58:04
I'd vote for David Davis.... :nervous:

Funko
10-07-2008, 13:37:52
How come he's listed as Conservative on that list? I thought he resigned to stand as an independent

Kitsuki
10-07-2008, 13:44:56
No, he resigned to fight on the issue of civil liberties. A lot of news companies erroneously stated he would be standing as an independent - I'm not sure why.

Funko
10-07-2008, 13:49:37
It's ridiculous grandstanding anyway.

Kitsuki
10-07-2008, 13:56:02
I think it was an error - he was in the best possible position to fight 42 days as Shadow Home Secretary - after this by-election blows over I'm not convinced he will have really succeeded in his goals.

I do however think he probably did it for the right reasons, he has after all severely damaged his career over this.

Funko
10-07-2008, 14:06:50
"he was in the best possible position to fight 42 days as Shadow Home Secretary"

Exactly.

Resource Consumer
11-07-2008, 08:44:29
Well, I wonder what some of these jokers can put on their CVs

"I got fewer votes than David Icke"

Kitsuki
11-07-2008, 09:43:30
Good showing for Miss Great Britain!

Funko
11-07-2008, 09:44:26
Ooh er.

Funko
11-07-2008, 10:07:27
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/jul/11/haltemprice.byelections

Greg W
11-07-2008, 11:37:16
Don't vote for politicians. It just encourages them.

Funko
11-07-2008, 12:19:42
I think one of the Monster Raving Loony party's policies is to sack anyone who wants to be a politician/who has been elected from politics and replace them with a draft system. A sensible solution I think.

C.G.B. Spender
11-07-2008, 12:36:01
Sigh, we only have http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anarchist_Pogo_Party_of_Germany

King_Ghidra@home
11-07-2008, 13:28:54
Creation of centers for physical love, so-called Mitfickzentralen (literally "fuckpooling centers")

awesome

Dyl Ulenspiegel
11-07-2008, 13:39:34
Ah, that's Lafontaine's new party, or?

Funko
11-07-2008, 13:40:40
I thought it said the Mikefickzentralen for a second.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
11-07-2008, 13:42:52
Mikefitzentralen

Funko
11-07-2008, 13:47:18
wiefitizmike?

Dyl Ulenspiegel
11-07-2008, 14:08:32
Depends on the Zentrale.

Lazarus and the Gimp
11-07-2008, 18:33:06
David Michael Davis - Conservative Party 17,113 votes
Shan Oakes - Green Party 1,758
Joanne Robinson - English Democrats 1,714
Tess Culnane - National Front Britain for the British 544
Gemma Dawn Garrett - Miss Great Britain Party 521
Jill Saward - Independent 492
Mad Cow-Girl - The Official Monster Raving Loony Party 412
Walter Edward Sweeney - Independent 238
John Nicholson - Independent 162
David Craig - Independent 135
David Pinder - The New Party 135
David Icke - No party listed 110
Hamish Howitt - Freedom 4 Choice 91
Christopher John Talbot - Socialist Equality Party 84
Grace Christine Astley - Independent 77
George Hargreaves - Christian Party 76
David Laurence Bishop - Church of the Militant Elvis Party 44
John Randle Upex - Independent 38
Greg Wood - Independent 32
Eamonn Fitzpatrick - Independent 31
Ronnie Carroll - Make Politicians History 29
Thomas Faithful Darwood - Independent 25
Christopher Mark Foren - Independent 23
Herbert Winford Crossman - Independent 11
Tony Farnon - Independent 8
Norman Scarth - Independent 8


Farcical.

OldWarrior_42
11-07-2008, 18:41:02
I'd vote for the Miss Great Britain Party in hopes that she was picked for her party for winning the swimsuit competition.

Drake Tungsten
11-07-2008, 18:41:10
Antichrist wins!!! :b:

Shining1
16-07-2008, 02:18:45
I like how the National Front candidate almost lost to Miss Great Brition. =)

Funko
16-07-2008, 08:09:59
Miss Great Britain Party's aim is:

"To make Westminster sexy not sleazy".

Shame they can't do both.

Funko
16-07-2008, 08:11:10
Oh and their policies:

* "The right to full tax relief on child care for all working mothers."
* "The rights of women everywhere to equal pay."
* "A commitment to fair pay for Britain's armed forces."
* "British voters to be given a referendum on continued membership of the European Union."
* "A pledge to launch a true British Bank Holiday to celebrate British beauty."

Actually better than a lot of parties.

Provost Harrison
17-07-2008, 23:44:01
I like the sound of the Church of the Militant Elvis :D

Provost Harrison
19-07-2008, 01:02:33
And why isn't Alan B'Stard standing?

Shining1
19-07-2008, 07:34:59
Originally posted by Funko
Oh and their policies:

* "The right to full tax relief on child care for all working mothers."
* "The rights of women everywhere to equal pay."
* "A commitment to fair pay for Britain's armed forces."
* "British voters to be given a referendum on continued membership of the European Union."
* "A pledge to launch a true British Bank Holiday to celebrate British beauty."

Actually better than a lot of parties.


Um, yeah, wow. A *shame* they lost to the national front... =(