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Oerdin
16-06-2008, 11:52:19
Probably fake but still amusing.


This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:


Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, but the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the house wares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

And; last, but not least:


14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."


Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager

Kitsuki
16-06-2008, 12:19:03
What do you mean "probably fake"?!

C.G.B. Spender
16-06-2008, 12:21:36
I get that but what means "amusing"?

Funko
16-06-2008, 12:22:06
Funny that Oerdin got the Tescos one when it was originally Wal-Mart.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp

C.G.B. Spender
16-06-2008, 12:35:24
Tesco is funny, Wal-Mart not? What about Aldi?

Dyl Ulenspiegel
16-06-2008, 12:48:00
Aldi is fun, Lidl not so.

C.G.B. Spender
16-06-2008, 12:50:53
Lidl is just a lidl fun

Dyl Ulenspiegel
16-06-2008, 12:52:13
And Plus just a lidl more.

Oerdin
16-06-2008, 15:09:48
Originally posted by Funko
Funny that Oerdin got the Tescos one when it was originally Wal-Mart.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp

But chain e-mails are always such reliable sources of information. :(















;)

protein
16-06-2008, 16:11:04
i do 2, 5, 10 and 11 quite often. the others are a bit outlandish for me.

Funko
16-06-2008, 16:14:13
:lol:

protein
16-06-2008, 16:51:03
my grandmother used to turn the wigs round on the mannequins, my mother taught me that one and the clocks one.

Debaser
16-06-2008, 17:06:16
Yeah, I always set those cooking timers to go off and turn the display stereos up to full.

alsieboo
16-06-2008, 17:40:15
I should so start doing some of that in sainsburys!

LoD
22-06-2008, 10:45:29
Originally posted by Dyl Ulenspiegel
And Plus just a lidl more.

:lol:

mr_B
22-06-2008, 11:28:55
Originally posted by protein
i do 2, 5, 10 and 11 quite often. the others are a bit outlandish for me. 1,2,5 and 8

mr_B
22-06-2008, 11:30:37
and i looking forward doing 14 soon