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View Full Version : Summertime in Harlem!


Drake Tungsten
28-05-2008, 10:08:36
Yes, the most beautiful season of the year is upon us once again, bringing with it the sights and sounds that makes summertime uptown such a joy to behold.

Stoops and street corners, which stood empty during the long winter months, are now filled to capacity with shiftless layabouts. They're a helpful lot; one of them was even nice enough to water the flower box outside my building with his urine the other evening.

The warm days and absence of modern amenities like air conditioning encourage one to throw open the windows and let in the fresh outside air. Ahh, how I missed the pungent aromas of the Mexican restaurant downstairs; in the winter, all I had to remind me of its presence was the mariachi band playing to all hours of the evening. Also back are my old friends the mosquitos, who seem to have missed me too if the welts gained while I slept last night are any indication.

The best part of summer is getting to interact with your neighbors. A particularly friendly group invited me over to participate in their spirited quarrel last week by tossing a beer in my direction across Broadway. Unfortunately, I just didn't have time to join in. I also missed out on the 7-block shooting spree (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2008/05/27/2008-05-27_10_wounded_in_wild_7block_shooting_spree.html) this weekend, much to my dismay.

Luckily, a friendly man in the deli tonight perceived my loneliness despite the drunken haze surrounding him and proceeded to hug me, tell me not to ever talk about his mother, inform me that I'm white with green eyes and he's Puerto Rican with brown eyes, take off his shirt and then hug me again after showing off the results of his weight-lifting regimen. Thank you, Hennessy swilling Puerto Rican man. The sandwich I went to the deli for may have filled the emptiness in my stomach, but it was your love that filled the emptiness in my heart.

Yes, summer is back and I couldn't be happier about it. Any day now we should see the return of police helicopters hovering over the building, late-night, profanity-laced rows and the comforting smell of marijuana wafting up from the street below to send me off to sleep at night. And to think I only experienced a month of summertime in Harlem last year; imagine how much fun three months will be! Gosh, I sure am a lucky guy. :beer:

C.G.B. Spender
28-05-2008, 10:26:27
Summary?

Drake Tungsten
28-05-2008, 10:29:30
Summary?

Harlem is awesome.

C.G.B. Spender
28-05-2008, 10:42:10
Awesome

King_Ghidra
28-05-2008, 10:46:49
:beer:@Drake

Immortal Wombat
28-05-2008, 12:00:42
Originally posted by C.G.B. Spender
Summary?
Sure is.

C.G.B. Spender
28-05-2008, 12:05:21
Summarytime

MDA
28-05-2008, 12:24:00
I could go for a hot cuban press at lunch today.

Funko
28-05-2008, 13:13:49
:brwncard:

maroule
28-05-2008, 13:55:58
good post Drake

MoSe
28-05-2008, 15:18:23
Originally posted by C.G.B. Spender
Summarytime

Summery

Funko
28-05-2008, 15:36:25
I think we need a new term for this.

A MoSed!

seng
28-05-2008, 18:56:15
Poetic, but I heard harlem isn't so bad. Bill Clinton has an office there

Drake Tungsten
28-05-2008, 21:45:21
When people say "Harlem isn't that bad," they usually mean in comparison to the outer boroughs and/or how it was during the crack epidemic. So yeah, Harlem isn't as bad as the Bronx or Brooklyn and was a lot worse in the 80's/90's, but there's still some rough areas and a lot of weirdness generally.

As for Clinton, his office is on the northern edge of South Harlem, the nicest, most gentrified part of the neighborhood. Even so, 7 people got shot about a block away from his office this weekend. Things are a lot worse in Manhattanville and up in the 150's.

seng
28-05-2008, 22:51:06
Sure, I was being sarcastic. I think.

Drake Tungsten
29-05-2008, 07:02:43
I just got off the train at nearly 3 am and was surprised to see some guy move into one of the phone booths ahead of me. I was wondering who the hell he could be calling at that time of night until I walked by and heard him pissing. A clever way to disguise public urination, I'll give him that...

Drekkus
29-05-2008, 07:24:51
why don't you move?

Drake Tungsten
29-05-2008, 07:45:04
I can't afford to live anywhere else in Manhattan and the other boroughs are worse.

King_Ghidra
29-05-2008, 10:17:51
Originally posted by Drekkus
why don't you move?

he lives in teh GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD

i wish i was back on broadway having bottles thrown at me (cue showbiz joke)

And pissing in phone booths is like the lowest of the sins of the city. Reading reeks of the stench of piss on a saturday morning. (well my bedroom does anyway)

Funko
29-05-2008, 10:29:31
We should have more of those urinals that rise out of the street. Amsterdam had millions.

C.G.B. Spender
29-05-2008, 10:42:59
urinal gay twats

MoSe
29-05-2008, 12:05:38
Originally posted by Funko
Amsterdam had millions.

with "U BENT HERE" written on them

Funko
29-05-2008, 12:10:31
Do urinals have a U bent?

Dyl Ulenspiegel
29-05-2008, 12:32:26
So, Amsterdam Urinals for Reading and Harlem!

Drekkus
29-05-2008, 12:51:22
The Amsterdam Urinals is the local American Football team.

C.G.B. Spender
29-05-2008, 13:27:18
:D

The Mad Monk
30-05-2008, 17:20:24
There's always New Jersey.

Asher
30-05-2008, 17:49:42
If it wasn't for Bono, the world wouldn't know Harlem exists.

Lurker the Second
30-05-2008, 18:25:28
Which Globetrotter was he?

Asher
30-05-2008, 18:26:00
The Angel

seng
30-05-2008, 19:02:40
Originally posted by The Mad Monk
There's always New Jersey.

Yes, the New Jersey Urinals. A legendary team.

The Mad Monk
31-05-2008, 05:30:48
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
he lives in teh GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD

i wish i was back on broadway having bottles thrown at me (cue showbiz joke)

And pissing in phone booths is like the lowest of the sins of the city. )

Venom peed on a convent when we were there.

Drake Tungsten
03-06-2008, 22:39:53
Three helicopters hovering over the neighborhood this evening. That's a new record. :b:

MOBIUS
03-06-2008, 22:54:37
Yaaay!:beer:

Drake Tungsten
10-06-2008, 23:24:02
It's been hovering around 90 (32 to you foreigners) in my room the past three days; 92 right now. At this point, I'm starting to think death wouldn't be such a bad thing...

Greg W
11-06-2008, 02:07:22
Ah, sounds like a typical Australian summer. :beer:

Drake Tungsten
11-06-2008, 07:23:23
You guys have air conditioning, though, right?

protein
11-06-2008, 09:16:19
i believe crack has a nice cooling effect. when you can't beat 'em...

Drekkus
11-06-2008, 09:36:29
Is New jersey worse then death?

mr_B
11-06-2008, 10:10:10
ask Lurkertje

mr_B
11-06-2008, 10:12:33
two of my colleagues live in Haarlem and they love it.
they just made a beach somewhere, a beach without water now that's stjoepit.
can't even build an underwaterbridge near the beach

MDA
11-06-2008, 10:57:05
I'm no architect, so forgive me if this sounds dumb, but would it be possible to build a bridge under the beach?

Funko
11-06-2008, 11:26:44
That'd be a tunnel.

mr_B
11-06-2008, 11:26:49
brilliantly brilliant MDA

Greg W
11-06-2008, 13:36:45
Originally posted by Drake Tungsten
You guys have air conditioning, though, right? Not all of us. I've gone the last two summers without it and don't mind that much. It's when it gets to 35-40 degrees that you really start to feel it.

Lurker the Second
11-06-2008, 14:44:52
Originally posted by mr_B
ask Lurkertje

New Jersey's fine. It has newly installed central air conditioning.

I don't know how Drake could survive the recent weather without air conditioning. I'm sure he wasn't exaggerating the indoor temperature at all.

Drake Tungsten
11-06-2008, 16:04:54
i believe crack has a nice cooling effect. when you can't beat 'em...

Seriously? I'm tempted to try now...

I don't know how Drake could survive the recent weather without air conditioning. I'm sure he wasn't exaggerating the indoor temperature at all.

It cooled down a bit last night. Firmly in the 80s inside now.

Not all of us. I've gone the last two summers without it and don't mind that much. It's when it gets to 35-40 degrees that you really start to feel it.

You're a better man than I. :beer:

LoD
12-06-2008, 13:13:25
Originally posted by seng
Yes, the New Jersey Urinals. A legendary team.

:lol:

Greg W
12-06-2008, 14:39:06
Originally posted by Drake Tungsten
You're a better man than I. :beer: Probably not, I'm just used to the heat. :D

Drake Tungsten
20-06-2008, 05:13:55
I'm glad these assholes waited until 1am to set off fireworks outside my building...

Dyl Ulenspiegel
20-06-2008, 07:13:00
Would you hve preferred fireworks inside your building?

paiktis
24-06-2008, 22:19:01
did that fucker post a pic of himself so i can smash his face in?

Drake Tungsten
25-06-2008, 00:47:08
For the last time, I'm not sending you a photo of myself. Stop PMing me about it...

Drake Tungsten
09-07-2008, 05:03:54
A man and a young boy jumped to their deaths from a sixth-floor apartment window in Upper Manhattan on Tuesday night as they tried to escape the smoke and flames from a fire raging a floor below them, a Fire Department official said.

The fire began in a fifth-floor apartment of a six-story building at 611 West 148th Street near Broadway, in Hamilton Heights, around 8:45 p.m. Eight other people, including two firefighters, suffered minor injuries, according to Deputy Chief John Sudnik.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/09/nyregion/09fire.html

That's really sad. Happened three blocks away from here. I went to get a sandwich around 9 and saw smoke above the street, but thought nothing of it. Broadway was jammed with fire trucks and ambulances by the time I walked back.

mr_B
09-07-2008, 08:57:35
how was your sandwich?

Drake Tungsten
09-07-2008, 11:20:42
Pretty tasty. :)

Dyl Ulenspiegel
09-07-2008, 12:26:18
Now I want to attend the course "How to always ask the essential questions" by MrG.

Tizzy
09-07-2008, 12:37:37
The course will start at 0900 BST on Friday.
Prosecco and welcome beer will be provided.
Please bring your polar bear pyjamas.

Venom
09-07-2008, 12:57:34
Party on Friday? I'll be there!

mr_B
09-07-2008, 14:04:04
Originally posted by Dyl Ulenspiegel
Now I want to attend the course "How to always ask the essential questions" by MrG. jesjes Dylletje, I'm pretty pretty polite

Lurker the Second
09-07-2008, 14:18:53
:lol:

Dyl Ulenspiegel
09-07-2008, 14:26:09
Originally posted by mr_B
jesjes Dylletje, I'm pretty pretty polite

And smartje!

mr_B
09-07-2008, 15:15:54
and modest

Greg W
11-07-2008, 02:36:16
Shouldn't that be modestje?

KrazyHorse
11-07-2008, 05:03:46
I'm going to briefly be within a couple of miles of you tomorrow, Drake. Then again on Sunday. No time to stop, unfortunately.