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Immortal Wombat
14-05-2008, 22:35:25
Every line a new joy.

A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad's credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father's existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a "World of Warcraft" tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.

Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician. [link (http://www.money.co.uk/article/1000390-13-year-old-steals-dads-credit-card-to-buy-hookers.htm)]

Shining1
14-05-2008, 23:43:29
Wow... heh.

LoD
15-05-2008, 00:18:43
I somehow have the feeling the kid wouldn't be satisfied with that surprise trip...

JM^3
15-05-2008, 00:22:41
Am I understanding correctly that it is after the splurge that his dad decided he needed a surprise trip to disneyland?

JM

seng
15-05-2008, 00:51:50
Splurge, you say?

Asher
15-05-2008, 04:43:57
Those are some damn smart kids.

King_Ghidra
15-05-2008, 08:03:44
Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
Every line a new joy.


You didn't lie. Brilliant.

Drekkus
15-05-2008, 08:09:38
Halo for abstinence!!

Funko
15-05-2008, 08:47:45
I was going to quote the same line as K_G. That is an awesome story. :beer:

MDA
15-05-2008, 11:26:34
"Ralph Hardy"

:lol: it did just get better and better

Venom
15-05-2008, 12:01:21
I'd vote for Ralph.

mr_B
15-05-2008, 13:43:50
Ralph for pwesident!!!

MDA
15-05-2008, 16:40:36
I had a friend in school named Ralph. Classic nerd archetype (well, we all were) until he spontaneously developed macho Italian guy muscles. Later he had laser eye surgery and didn't need the Hubble lens glasses.

Venom
15-05-2008, 17:01:28
Was his last name Macchio?

MDA
16-05-2008, 11:11:30
no, but that's not far off

MoSe
16-05-2008, 11:32:06
maybe Malph then?


Originally posted by MDA
he had laser eye surgery

he had a laser implanted in place of an eye????

:eek:

Funko
16-05-2008, 15:15:16
This thread deserves bumping.

Resource Consumer
21-05-2008, 15:09:37
bump

seng
21-05-2008, 15:10:16
dabumpty bump

alsieboo
21-05-2008, 18:16:33
Good lord that is hilarious!

Funko
22-05-2008, 07:52:39
This could be my favourite story on the internet ever.

Drake Tungsten
22-05-2008, 08:17:17
It's a hoax.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/?pageId=64104

MDA
22-05-2008, 10:50:32
even better! :lol:

Funko
22-05-2008, 10:51:16
I'm not listening to that.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
22-05-2008, 11:07:00
And that worldnetdaily site looks just slightly less trustworthy than fox news.

alsieboo
22-05-2008, 17:26:00
Originally posted by Drake Tungsten
It's a hoax.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/?pageId=64104

spoil sport

Asher
22-05-2008, 18:25:52
Hey guys I was listening to NPR and heard this was a hoax. No link yet this is breaking

Drake Tungsten
22-05-2008, 19:42:12
And that worldnetdaily site looks just slightly less trustworthy than fox news.

I would have used the Air America link, but it was taking too long to load.

Oerdin
23-05-2008, 01:08:27
Who listens to Air America?

Asher
23-05-2008, 01:24:40
You do, assuredly.

Oerdin
23-05-2008, 01:58:23
Naw, there isn't a local affiliate.