PDA

View Full Version : Brits are pussies.


Asher
06-05-2008, 13:23:20
How the mighty have fallen.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080506.w2tea06/BNStory/International/home


Nuked? Put the kettle on
Recently declassified documents show British authorities were worried about a tea shortage in the event of a nuclear attack

From Tuesday's Globe and Mail

May 6, 2008 at 4:35 AM EDT

LONDON Even in the nation's darkest hours, nothing has traditionally given so much comfort and succour to the British soul as a nice cup of tea.

So much is the beverage bound up with the national character that recently declassified documents showed yesterday that British contingency planners worried there would be a dramatic shortage of tea in the aftermath of a nuclear attack.

The shortfall of the staple British beverage would be "very serious" if the country were to come under attack with atomic and hydrogen bombs, according to a memo drafted between 1954 and 1956 released under the Freedom of Information Act by the National Archives in southwest London.

"The tea position would be very serious with a loss of 75 per cent of stocks and substantial delays in imports and, with no system of rationing, it would be wrong to consider that even one ounce [28 grams] per head per week could be ensured," it said.
Brian Gable/The Globe and Mail

"No satisfactory solution has yet been found" said the memo, from the now defunct Ministry of Food.

Paul Addison, a postwar historian, told The Scotsman newspaper that the revelations were "extremely interesting" and that the concerns would have been driven by the "hangover" of Second World War rationing and shortages.

"Churchill had very strong feelings about tea," said Mr. Addison, author of Churchill: the Unexpected Hero.

"He thought the British morale depended on it, possibly quite rightly."

Another memo, written in April of 1955, warned: "The advent of thermo-nuclear weapons ... has presented us with a new and much more difficult set of food defence problems."

It said the country should plan to be "completely ready to maintain supplies of food to the people of these islands, sufficient in volume to keep them in good heart and health from the onset of a thermonuclear attack on this country."

It added, however: "It has become increasingly clear that the severity of the attack which the enemy could launch would produce a catastrophe in the face of which past measures would be fatally deficient."

The contingency planning documents listed a number of issues for discussion including arrangements to ensure stockpiles of food and the availability of bread, milk, meat, oils and fats, and tea and sugar.

Agence France-Presse and staff

The British beverage

The British drink 165 million cups of tea daily - or 60.2 billion a year - compared with about 70 million cups of coffee a day.

The largest per-capita tea-drinking nation in the world is the Republic of Ireland, followed by Britain.

Ninety-six per cent of British tea is made from tea bags and 98 per cent is taken with milk. The milk does not appear to affect tea's antioxidant properties.

Green and black teas come from the same plant, Camellia sinensis.

Tea contains only half as much caffeine as coffee.

There are about 1,500 varieties of tea.

Funko
06-05-2008, 13:26:40
We're so exceptionally civilised that our concern in a nuclear war is not whether our society will survive in any meaningful way but whether our post apocalyptic villages will have a functioning tea room.

Asher
06-05-2008, 13:29:41
You guys aren't even #1 in tea drinking.

What good are you?

Funko
06-05-2008, 13:37:12
It's the taking part that's important old boy.

Drekkus
06-05-2008, 13:37:57
Their good at making up weird languages the whole world seems to speak.

Kitsuki
06-05-2008, 13:42:49
Originally posted by Asher
You guys aren't even #1 in tea drinking.

What good are you?

The British Empire was build on tea. I thought a colonial like you would know that?

Asher
06-05-2008, 13:44:30
Only tea that people drink out here is iced tea, or green tea.

None of this real English tea bullshit.

It's time to move on.

Kitsuki
06-05-2008, 13:46:32
I drink about 10 cups of tea a day - it is in fact one of the greatest things in existence.

Venom
06-05-2008, 13:50:11
Originally posted by Funko
It's the taking part that's important old boy.

Are we talking tea drinking or international football tournaments? Oh wait, you don't take part in most of those either.

Asher
06-05-2008, 13:55:26
Originally posted by Kitsuki
I drink about 10 cups of tea a day - it is in fact one of the greatest things in existence.

After nuking Britain, of course.

Funko
06-05-2008, 13:58:47
Does Canada have nukes?

Kitsuki
06-05-2008, 14:08:32
No, we don't let the Dominions have them.

Funko
06-05-2008, 14:17:02
You Star Trek nerd!

Kitsuki
06-05-2008, 14:20:59
:o

To answer the question seriously though, the Big 5 (USA, UK, France, China, Russia), India, Pakistan and Israel have nuclear weapons.

North Korea, Iran and Syria are thought to be working on developing them. South Africa used to have nukes, but disarmed after the fall of apartheid.

Some Soviet countries other than Russia used to have nukes, but have all now transferred them back to Russia. A limited number of NATO countries, mostly in Western Europe and not including Canada, store American nukes on their territory.

I did a module at uni. I was the only one in the class who thought nuclear weapons were a good thing... :(

Funko
06-05-2008, 14:21:45
It wasn't a serious question.

Kitsuki
06-05-2008, 14:23:08
I know, neither was my answer - I thought it was amusing to point out that countries like Belgium, Pakistan and North Korea do have nukes - unlike Canada...

Funko
06-05-2008, 14:27:47
Isn't that what I did? Never mind.

MDA
06-05-2008, 14:33:44
Tea < Coffee, but I never turn tea down

Drekkus
06-05-2008, 14:34:09
Hey Funko, you can't blame him if he actually HAS a phd in nukes :lol:

Funko
06-05-2008, 14:35:29
:lol:

Kitsuki
06-05-2008, 14:44:00
Oh, the wonders of Wikipedia - even the bloody Netherlands have nukes, unlike Canada...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Countries_with_nukes#Nuclear_weapons_sharing

Drekkus
06-05-2008, 14:46:08
WHAHAHAHAHA - MY WORDS ARE BACKED BY NUKULAR WEAPONS!!!

King_Ghidra
06-05-2008, 14:49:17
Originally posted by Kitsuki


I did a module at uni. I was the only one in the class who thought nuclear weapons were a good thing... :(

Just sitting here bored and wondering on what basis you might say something like that.

Perhaps (straw man possibly) you're going to to tell me they work as a deterrant to conflict between nations that posssess them or something. But so does McDonald's.

You know i'm not a moral person, do i don't tend to see things in respect of good or bad. So you tell me how nukes fit in there.

Greg W
06-05-2008, 14:54:07
Well, in the event of a massive asteroid coming to wipe out the earth, placing strategic nukes on it with the aid of Bruce Willis, a space shuttle and Aerosmith would save the world!

King_Ghidra
06-05-2008, 14:55:07
yeah but is a world with bruce willis and aerosmith really worth saving

Greg W
06-05-2008, 14:56:47
Well, I don't want to miss a thing!

Drekkus
06-05-2008, 14:57:20
If Bruce Willis dies in the explosion, yes. Plus the aerosmith daughter is HOT!! [/oerdin mode for compensation]

Greg W
06-05-2008, 14:58:24
Oh, yeah, Liv Tyler (the Aerosmith daughter :lol: ) is hawt!

Asher
06-05-2008, 15:00:26
Canada intentionally doesn't have nukes.

If you bothered to do your research, you'd see Canada is actually at the forefront of nuclear science -- eg, the Candu nuclear reactors.

Simple fact is, Canada is more intelligent than Britain. We don't have nukes, they're expensive and dangerous and pretty frickin' useless. Instead, we have hockey. And I'd take hockey over British nukes any fucking day.

King_Ghidra
06-05-2008, 15:05:42
Originally posted by Asher
Canada intentionally doesn't have nukes.


You heard it here first: Canada's lack of a nuclear weapons programme is not an accident.

Venom
06-05-2008, 15:07:23
If you're advocating intelligence, bragging about hockey probably isn't a good way to go.

Funko
06-05-2008, 15:09:10
I'm confused. Is nuking Britain one of the greatest things in existence or is it stupid and pretty frikkin' useless (unlike ice hockey)?

Drekkus
06-05-2008, 15:18:14
MY WORDS ARE BACKED UP BY REALLY SHARP HOCKEY STICKS!!!

Asher
06-05-2008, 15:22:11
Originally posted by Funko
I'm confused. Is nuking Britain one of the greatest things in existence or is it stupid and pretty frikkin' useless (unlike ice hockey)?
It's fantastic, but only if the Russians do it.

Asher
06-05-2008, 15:22:41
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
You heard it here first: Canada's lack of a nuclear weapons programme is not an accident.

Is this supposed to be funny? If you realized how stupid our government was, you'd know this is no joke.

Asher
06-05-2008, 15:23:11
Originally posted by Venom
If you're advocating intelligence, bragging about hockey probably isn't a good way to go.

You're just too dumb to appreciate what is very clearly a cerebral sport.

Funko
06-05-2008, 15:23:13
Don't they love hockey?

Kitsuki
06-05-2008, 15:24:24
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
Just sitting here bored and wondering on what basis you might say something like that.

Perhaps (straw man possibly) you're going to to tell me they work as a deterrant to conflict between nations that posssess them or something. But so does McDonald's.

You know i'm not a moral person, do i don't tend to see things in respect of good or bad. So you tell me how nukes fit in there.

The presence of nuclear weapons is a massive deterrent to war on any scale. If it wasn't for the existence of nuclear weapons I very much doubt that the Cold War would have stayed that way.

Funko
06-05-2008, 15:29:06
Yep. We'd probably be at war now if it wasn't for nukes.

Asher
06-05-2008, 15:30:29
Originally posted by Funko
Don't they love hockey?

They play what is called "european hockey". It's frolicking with sticks.

Funko
06-05-2008, 15:31:35
That was an x-post, I was asking about your government. Or maybe you knew that.

Asher
06-05-2008, 15:32:25
Our government hates hockey. They charge people with crimes when they smash hockey sticks into people's faces intentionally in a game.

Funko
06-05-2008, 15:34:02
That's one thing we can agree on. No-one should be charged for smashing a Canadian in the face with a hockey stick. Especially Lurker.

LoD
06-05-2008, 16:00:04
Originally posted by Asher
You're just too dumb to appreciate what is very clearly a cerebral sport.

:lol:

Lazarus and the Gimp
06-05-2008, 17:04:38
It's cerebral in the sense that they're all brain-damaged.

Asher
06-05-2008, 17:06:54
Don't let your jealousy get in the way.

Oerdin
06-05-2008, 17:15:55
Tea is much better then coffee.

Asher
06-05-2008, 17:39:43
No, it's not, you're stoopid shut up.

Lurker the Second
06-05-2008, 17:53:39
Originally posted by Oerdin
Tea is much better then coffee.

Tea is too gay even for Asher.

protein
06-05-2008, 17:56:38
i went to see an ice hockey game once. it looked like men frolicking on ice with sticks to me. they even had to play music to try and make it more exciting.

it was so boring that i was waiting for some sort of fight to happen and when it did it did finally happen after about three and a half hours, it was crap too. imagine people who can't punch properly, wearing huge soft padding and crash helmets taking wild girly swings at each other whilst slipping around on the ice.

i had to leave before the whole thing ended.

i'm going to canada tomorrow. i'll let you know if they are hard or not.

Venom
06-05-2008, 18:31:19
Originally posted by Lurker the Second
Tea is too gay even for Asher.

He likes his tea with cream and cock in it.

Asher
06-05-2008, 19:36:42
Originally posted by protein
i went to see an ice hockey game once. it looked like men frolicking on ice with sticks to me. they even had to play music to try and make it more exciting.

Euro hockey is, indeed, shameful.

But to call real ice hockey boring is ignorant. It's the most fast-paced sport there is, it's hard, it's physical, it requires talent and skill.

Ice hockey is far more exciting than soccer/football. By comparison, football is slow, plodding, and uneventful.

The only thing is poor UKers can afford to play football, but they can't afford to play hockey.

Lazarus and the Gimp
06-05-2008, 19:44:52
Canadians only play ice hockey because they were too cheap to use gritters like civilised nations.

Asher
06-05-2008, 19:47:06
I don't even know what a gritter is, you apeshit crazy piece of Eurotrash.

Lazarus and the Gimp
06-05-2008, 19:48:24
I thought you'd have got to grips with the council gritter long ago.

Asher
06-05-2008, 19:52:51
Let me guess, that's even more slang referring to the ass.

You Brits are disturbingly obsessed with the ass and balls. I say this as a gay man, too.

No wonder your empire crumbled.

Kitsuki
06-05-2008, 19:58:57
How could you not know what a gritter is?

Asher
06-05-2008, 20:00:00
Here's a thought: because it's local slang?

I was thinking it was a device used to make, well, grit. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/grit

There's a thought.

Lazarus and the Gimp
06-05-2008, 20:00:07
Bollocks.

Asher
06-05-2008, 20:01:49
Do you know what arseuver is, Kitsuki?

mr_B
06-05-2008, 20:19:15
are you the gay fat boytje?

Asher
06-05-2008, 20:20:50
There's only one thing fat about me, and it'll hurt you good.

Kitsuki
06-05-2008, 20:20:55
It's a Canadian boating term (I sail - can't remember what part of the boat though.)

Asher
06-05-2008, 20:21:45
If you figure out the origin of the word, you should figure out which part of the boat it refers to.

Oerdin
06-05-2008, 20:32:51
Originally posted by Asher
Euro hockey is, indeed, shameful.

But to call real ice hockey boring is ignorant. It's the most fast-paced sport there is, it's hard, it's physical, it requires talent and skill.

Ice hockey is far more exciting than soccer/football. By comparison, football is slow, plodding, and uneventful.


I find basketball to be much faster paced with more action plus it's more physical since people are running most of the time instead of gliding along like a bunch of nancies.

mr_B
06-05-2008, 20:33:56
:lol:

Oerdin
06-05-2008, 20:34:33
On the upside grits is actually a great southern breakfast dish.

Asher
06-05-2008, 20:36:51
Originally posted by Oerdin
I find basketball to be much faster paced with more action plus it's more physical since people are running most of the time instead of gliding along like a bunch of nancies.
How can it be faster when everyone moves much slower?

Basketball is pathetic. It's just back and forth scoring. Most of the players on the court just half-assed jog from one end to the other 99% of the time.

It is a woman's sport.

Hockey players are far more athletic and fit than basketball players.

Drekkus
06-05-2008, 20:48:42
Originally posted by Oerdin
On the upside grits is actually a great southern breakfast dish. I once made the mistake to order it, while in florida. :vom: On the picture it looked like scrambled eggs. :(

Venom
06-05-2008, 20:52:02
Grits are fucking gross.

Lurker the Second
06-05-2008, 20:57:10
Only way they are any good is if you drown them in something else good.

Lazarus and the Gimp
06-05-2008, 21:16:41
Like a deep pond.

JM^3
06-05-2008, 21:24:28
I like grits

grits and cheese or grits and eggs are better though

I know people who like grits + jelly or grits + bacon

JM

Oerdin
06-05-2008, 23:36:38
Originally posted by Venom
Grits are fucking gross.

Venom, you are a disgrace to southern red neck white trash every where! With that comment I am afraid you have lost your membership so please turn in your NRA card and surrender your NASCAR season tickets.

protein
07-05-2008, 01:00:03
i'm pretty sure they were all canadians bitch-slapping each other.

devilmunchkin
07-05-2008, 03:34:27
does venom at least like KFC, watermelon and chitlins?

Asher
07-05-2008, 03:58:01
Who doesn't like Watermelon?

Drake Tungsten
07-05-2008, 04:04:52
No real Southerner likes KFC. Christ...

And WTF is a "gritter"?

Oerdin
07-05-2008, 04:11:20
Notice how Drake doesn't deny loving chitlins. ;)

Asher
07-05-2008, 04:15:49
A gritter is a person or device that makes grits, 'far as I know.

Asher
07-05-2008, 04:18:04
Originally posted by Asher
Do you know what arseuver is, Kitsuki?
The arseuver is the back of the boat, by the way.

It's Newfie-Canadian slang derived from its long form "arse of her".

Headuvher is the other end...

Drake Tungsten
07-05-2008, 04:28:34
Notice how Drake doesn't deny loving chitlins.

I've never had chitlins in my life. I'm not from the South...

That being said, even I know that real Southerners don't get their fried chicken at KFC. Church's, Popeyes, Bojangles', etc. are all vastly superior...

Kitsuki
07-05-2008, 07:38:50
Originally posted by Drake Tungsten
No real Southerner likes KFC. Christ...

And WTF is a "gritter"?

Spreads grit to get rid of ice on the road:


http://www.freefoto.com/images/16/15/16_15_14---Road-Gritter_web.jpg

Funko
07-05-2008, 07:52:07
How fit are hockey players?

King_Ghidra
07-05-2008, 08:07:39
I must visit a Bojangles some day.

Funko
07-05-2008, 08:09:59
Yeah.

Oerdin
07-05-2008, 08:27:52
I don't get how Bojangles doesn't expand in the US beyond the east coast but they can open restaurants in Mexico and central America.

http://www.bojangles.com/aboutus_locations.html

Funko
07-05-2008, 08:38:45
Because they hate you.

Funko
07-05-2008, 08:40:13
See here

http://www.bojangles.com/faq.html#why_no_west_coast_restaurants

Drekkus
07-05-2008, 09:10:42
Originally posted by Funko
How fit are hockey players? Are there any gay hockeyplayers in the NHL?

Funko
07-05-2008, 09:11:29
How would I know?

Drekkus
07-05-2008, 09:14:35
you're good at google searches

Funko
07-05-2008, 09:19:05
Most sportsmen in most sports hide their gayness, it's probably true even in ice dancing with sticks.

Drekkus
07-05-2008, 09:48:50
Hiding your gayness is gay

Tizzy
07-05-2008, 10:59:13
Yeah, they should be straight about it

King_Ghidra
07-05-2008, 11:56:31
Originally posted by Funko
Most sportsmen in most sports hide their gayness

and in funko's explosive autobiography he will out them all!

Funko
07-05-2008, 12:06:44
Only the ones I'm not ashamed of.

MDA
07-05-2008, 12:14:17
I want to drive the zamboni.

Venom
07-05-2008, 13:11:09
Originally posted by Oerdin
Venom, you are a disgrace to southern red neck white trash every where! With that comment I am afraid you have lost your membership so please turn in your NRA card and surrender your NASCAR season tickets.

What the fuck do you know about rednecks, valley girl?

Funko
07-05-2008, 13:16:41
Since when were you a redneck anyway?

zmama
07-05-2008, 14:09:00
Prolly the last time he mowed his lawn

Oerdin
07-05-2008, 17:45:12
Originally posted by Funko
Since when were you a redneck anyway?

Stop ruining the joke! He lives in the south ergo he is a red neck until proven other wise. ;)

Immortal Wombat
07-05-2008, 23:44:19
yeah, that's what ruined the joke

zmama
08-05-2008, 00:04:49
There was a joke?


Damn, I missed it again

Greg W
08-05-2008, 01:44:36
I thought he lived in NYC - well, more to the point that he had moved not far out of the city. Oh well, shows how much attention I pay.

Asher
08-05-2008, 02:12:20
New Jersey is not far out of the city.

Drake Tungsten
08-05-2008, 03:08:00
Depends what part of New Jersey you're talking about.

Asher
08-05-2008, 03:19:47
The dumpy part.

Drake Tungsten
08-05-2008, 03:27:23
The entire state is dumpy.

Drake Tungsten
08-05-2008, 03:29:05
http://www.jerseysucks.net/

Asher
08-05-2008, 03:31:22
Any state where people are too stupid to pump their own gas is one fucked up state.

Drake Tungsten
08-05-2008, 03:31:50
Agreed.

Funko
08-05-2008, 08:21:12
Originally posted by Greg W
I thought he lived in NYC - well, more to the point that he had moved not far out of the city. Oh well, shows how much attention I pay.

He lives not far away in US terms, but far enough to be in a redneck state.

Venom
08-05-2008, 11:56:48
New Jersery is 10 feet away from New York City.

Oerdin
08-05-2008, 12:11:13
10 feet away physically. Spiritually it's outer Siberia. ;)

Lurker the Second
08-05-2008, 13:47:36
Damn right Jersey sucks.

Immortal Wombat
08-05-2008, 13:57:00
Nuh uh (http://www.mediafire.com/?2zdgdeltze2)