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devilmunchkin
07-04-2008, 20:30:12
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/couplesandmarriage/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=6394922&GT1=32001

i read this article about guys. It made me laugh myself silly.. but I still wonder how much of this stuff is even true. And since I regard you guys as the epitome of all things male...

your input?

mr_B
07-04-2008, 20:36:28
true all true

alsieboo
07-04-2008, 20:42:29
I would have to agree with all of that!!

Dyl Ulenspiegel
07-04-2008, 20:42:48
jesjes

JM^3
07-04-2008, 21:04:22
They are just generalizations... maybe more true then some people would like to admit though.

JM

LoD
07-04-2008, 22:51:26
Come on, JM, you're just shy to admit that you love your dick ;).

Seriously 'though - it's a tad exaggerated, but otherwise largely true.

Greg W
08-04-2008, 01:35:08
It's a generalisation, and all guys are slightly different. For instance, there were at least three of those that I completely disagreed with (and not just cos I am unwilling to admit to them either), and a few others that I have friends I know would disagree with.

Generally speaking, however, most of it is true for the great majority of guys.

Koshko
08-04-2008, 02:31:00
Men can't resist the tease.
There's no sexier surprise for your guy than when you dance seductively, slowly undress or wear lacy underwear anything that stimulates him visually. This sexual tension drives him wild, because his mind races, imagining what's coming next. Feel shy dancing around in your bra? You should know that men don't notice your so-called flaws when you're turning them on. In this situation, your guy has a one-track mind, and it stays focused on how hot you are. So the next time you undress, take it slow. Toss your clothes at him as you go. That's all it takes to drive him nuts in a good way.

CORRECT!


Men can't help but stare at other women.
It's true: They just can't control themselves. We're the same way when we walk by a window filled with gorgeous shoes we have to look. It's anthropological; if you look at the mating habits of gorillas, even if they're "pair bonded" (anthropology-speak for gorilla marriage), most males cruise the females and stare when a cute gorilla girl walks by. Your guy's not insensitive, he's just been momentarily possessed by his inner ape.

CORRECT!


Men are big kids (and proud of it).
Deep down, all men are big ol' boys. (This explains why so many grown men wear baseball caps.) Their interests are boylike, too. Take his obsession with sports. Most men love anything that involves kicking something, throwing things, or punching other men. Sound like 10-year-olds on the playground to you? Does to me. When you put three or more men together, they bond by yelling at the TV and being idiots to each other. Regressing into childlike behavior isn't just a means of amusing themselves it's their way of escaping real-life pressures and feeling accepted as they are. There's no point in denying guys time to release their juvenile side. Just be glad they're doing it during boys' night out and not in front of your girlfriends or family!

SO CORRECT THAT I DON'T EVEN HIDE IT!


Men are perverts.
There's no getting around it: Guys are pervs. They think about sex 24/7. And sometimes they daydream about and look at pictures of gross stuff or weird moves, moves that they'd never try in a million years. Fact is, men have a higher tolerance for body fluids and outrageous sex acts than we do (it's something about that 10-year-old boy inside each of them see above). And it's a fact that men's sexual fantasies contain more people than ours do. For the guy who has everything, I always give the gift of porn. It's the one present men never complain about (or return). But if you can't stand the thought of these films, then don't go there. Nothing is less sexy to a man than a woman who's uncomfortable. Guys may be turned on by the visuals in porn, but trust me, they'd rather have the real, in-the-flesh deal anytime.

Personally, I am pro-porn: Watching together can add zing to a long-term relationship. But the problem with most porn is that it's still mostly geared toward male fantasies. So look for titles by female directors, like Candida Royalle, who create videos with hot guys and plotlines that reflect women's fantasies. Don't worry if your man will like them, too: If they show skin, he will.

MOSTLY CORRECT ... I DON'T WATCH PORN.


Men would love to cheat.
That doesn't mean they will, though. Luckily, they're either too guilty, too shy or too scared. Hey, it's biology: They see, they want, they fantasize. Men are not by nature monogamous animals, and they often have to fight their sexual urges, which many do very successfully. If a guy could live his perfect fantasy life, he would have a wife and a new fling whenever he felt like it. (While women look for that one "special" guy, men look for those five "special" girls.) Fifty percent of men say that if there were zero percent chance you'd find out, they'd cheat. But that also means 50 percent wouldn't even if there were no danger of getting caught. Many men say that when they've had the idea, they nix it because they wouldn't want to mess up the good thing they've got at home. Smart guys.

ASKING THE WRONG GUY AS I DON'T DATE.


Men want us to worship them.
Every man has a bit of Donald Trump in him. They want us to think they're strong, successful, and sexy. Most men would never admit this, but they'd like to think they're slightly smarter than the woman they're with. Yet they have no problem with the woman being 10 times better-looking than they are (that strokes his ego even more). Ultimately, they'd settle for just being able to do one thing better than us. I think it's because, privately, they know we're the superior sex.

MOSTLY CORRECT


Men love oral sex.
What do men want more of in bed? When I conducted a survey asking 100 men that question, 80 percent of them said, "More oral sex." Specifically, they wanted to be on the receiving end. Why do they love it so much? They don't have to worry about technique, and we do all the work (they're kinda lazy). Guys say the best treat a woman can give them is oral sex in the morning. Forget scones this is his idea of breakfast in bed.

I RATHER HAVE IT AS A STARTER BEFORE THE PENETRATION THAN JUST IT.


Men don't take hints.
When men are with other men, they don't tiptoe around each other and drop subtle suggestions. That's because hints don't register with guys. We women pride ourselves on being able to know intuitively what our friends, husbands, and kids are thinking, but men have no interest in reading minds. That's why one thing I've learned from men is, "If you don't ask, you don't get." In relationships, I don't expect a guy to know exactly what I want and whenever I do, I'm disappointed. If, for example, you want him to take you out for your birthday, you're wasting your time dropping hints like "Guess what day Friday is? It's someone's birthday!" If you do that, you'll be 80 before he takes you out. And while you're at it, don't hint about wanting a gift that's shiny and lasts forever: To him, you've just described a set of Emeril pots and pans.

SO FUCKING CORRECT IN MY CASE IT'S FUNNY.


Men love their penises.
Man's best friend is actually his penis. And he assumes it's our best friend, too. After all, like a dog, it's always happy to see us, enjoys being petted, and often rubs itself against our legs. And have you noticed that guys are so intimate with their members that they often create pet names for them, including Mr. Friendly, Bob's Big Boy, and the ever-so-subtle Thruster?

While women have internal, squishy accommodations, men are equipped with external, throbbing reminders of the biological imperative to "spread the seed." Every time they look down at their tools standing at attention, they remember that their penises are there for a reason to conquer the planet. That's why they've built so many monuments in the penis's likeness. The phallus is represented by erected symbols of power worldwide, from the Eiffel Tower to the Empire State Building.

Women don't make a big deal about what we have going on downstairs because we're too busy worrying about the size and shape of our other body parts. But men are obsessed with size. I live near a cactus store, and every time I walk by with a guy, he points to the biggest cactus in the window and says, "There's my size!" Do I believe them? No, because when men pull out the ruler and they do they almost always round up. If you ask a dozen men what the average length of an erect penis is, they'll say eight inches. But if you ask a dozen women, they'll say it's four inches. Bottom line: No matter how small it is, tell him it's huge. If it's too big, tell him just that. Trust me he'll take it as a compliment.

CORRECT


Men don't get Valentine's Day.
Most guys consider February 14 a "chick holiday." And it stresses them out: They don't know what's expected, what they should buy, and how much (or how little) they should express their feelings. They're not incapable of romance, they just hate being romantic on cue. Just tell him, "V-Day is Friday. Let's go out for dinner." If you remind him when it is and let him off the hook for some of the standard requirements, he's more likely to deliver some creative romance of his own.

FUCKING CORRECT


IN CONCLUSION, MEN ARE FUCKING PIGS AND PROUD OF IT!

Shining1
08-04-2008, 07:02:39
Tawdry and writen from a viewpoint that somewhat underplays the equivilent female flaws - women also love to cheat, women also love oral sex, women also consider themselves smarter, women like to be teased and seduced, women also go brainless and crazy around each other.

The bit about not taking hints is correct and important.

"I think it's because, privately, they know we're the superior sex." No. We don't prviately know this. It takes a great deal of experience and education for us to learn that women are the superior sex. And even then we aren't totally convinced. Pity this misconception is reinforced by the article instead of removed.

Also, we kinda like romance. But we understand that it's something that happens spontaneously and randomly - a night out to break up a routine, a sudden weekend away, an afternoon cutting work to go to the gardens.

The idea of Valentines day - a day of scheduled romance - always feels vaguely unnatural to a guy. Anniversaries are similarly awkward. We're happiest reacting to situations and stimuli, or planning to bring about such.

Men are not fucking pigs and proud of it. It's a nice excuse to be lazy about stuff if you want to believe it, but there's no fundamental truth to it.

Tizzy
08-04-2008, 08:12:08
Originally posted by devilmunchkin
I regard you guys as the epitome of all things male...



Thanks! :D

LoD
08-04-2008, 08:45:12
Originally posted by Shining1
Tawdry and writen from a viewpoint that somewhat underplays the equivilent female flaws - women also love to cheat, women also love oral sex, women also consider themselves smarter, women like to be teased and seduced, women also go brainless and crazy around each other.

Couldn't agree more - but she would lose readership if she wrote that too :D.

Originally posted by Tizzy
Thanks! :D

:lol:

Funko
08-04-2008, 08:56:10
Like any of those things there's a lot of generalization so it won't apply to everyone but I'd say the things she observes are mostly fairly accurate, if not her conclusions.

I don't imagine many men think women are the superior sex. I would say the vast majority either think it's equal or men are better. I don't think that's a natural biological behaviour, but it's hard not to feel that growing up in such a patriarchal society.

Kitsuki
08-04-2008, 09:13:10
I like how she portrays herself as being a real expert.

"After 10 intensive, difficult years of penning columns on sex for a women's mag, I suddenly realised that men love oral sex and when a girl undresses in front of them and I just had to share this surprising and obviously secret information with you!"

mr_B
08-04-2008, 09:28:33
and nothing aboot the kinky sexdrives of male polticians

Nills Lagerbaak
08-04-2008, 09:45:13
I wish they'd use slightly more imaginative contexts to explain each male trait. e.g. I'll admit I'm a child, but cos I like crazy guitars and horror fims, bit cos I watch sport all day.

A more scientific analysis is required please!

Funko
08-04-2008, 10:19:48
Originally posted by Kitsuki
I like how she portrays herself as being a real expert.

"After 10 intensive, difficult years of penning columns on sex for a women's mag, I suddenly realised that men love oral sex and when a girl undresses in front of them and I just had to share this surprising and obviously secret information with you!" :lol:

MoSe
08-04-2008, 11:16:26
Funny how women who are historically victims of sexism are the first ones to reinforce and maintain the prejudice system on which it's based

What really cracks me are tho women who pamper their ego claiming to be *subtler*....

they don't tiptoe around each other and drop subtle suggestions..... you're wasting your time dropping hints like "Guess what day Friday is? It's someone's birthday!"
and that would be ~subtle~?
:lol:
it would be a MAJOR PHD here!
:D

protein
08-04-2008, 11:33:47
you regard internet nerds as the epitome of everything male? :p

MoSe
08-04-2008, 11:48:28
anyway, I know it's just magazine crap not worthy considering, and that' I'm not a representative of a stereotypical male...

but I'm struggling with a fit of sheer boredom, so here I go

Men can't resist the tease.
depends on context, education, and... age :o

Men can't help but stare at other women
well.... what's wrong with it????

Men are big kids (and proud of it)
they have shredded, smashed and puverized our balls with how it's so mature and sensible to rescue and let out the child in you, that was of course just a huge preposterous conspiracy to reproach us about it thereafter

Men are perverts
it's all a question of relative standards
if you're talking about Mosley tho, that's another story ;)

Men would love to cheat
loyalty is corny and overrated
as a friend of mine puts it, cheating doesn't undermine a relationship, it enriches it and reinforces it

Men want us to worship them
any sensible man can make a woman happy by doing the right and correct things. But having seen the superior joy and bliss a partner gets thanks to the *irrational* and *aprioristic* love she feels for the other, you understand that's not something you can build or achieve whatever you do: you can only hope to not spoil it.
And if it's not there, there's no way you will ever be able to make your woman truly happy and blissful albeit being the best man in the world to her

Men love oral sex
oh well, I'm almost always ready and willing to give it.
OTOH I never ask to receive it, but I'm indeed *very* glad when I get it.
why? i don't know, there must evidently be something genetic in it... :cute:
I understand it's at least correct to always keep a high own hygiene as basic favorable condition... :D

Men don't take hints
when I want, I play Cluedo

Men love their penises
it's 20 years I'd need a mirror to actually see mine
and anyway, that must have something to do with the famous "penis envy" all girls have...never understood what was it all about...

Men don't get Valentine's Day
on the contrary, we understand much too well what is it
btw, I never let pass the cotton balls special offers, I always keep up my stock levels

Shining1
08-04-2008, 11:55:42
In conclusion the article is thought provoking, unfortunately it's thought provoking like a gun-control or god vs. evolution thread.

Scabrous Birdseed
08-04-2008, 12:27:36
I take hints (usually) and I love and initiate Valentines Day.

Cruddy
08-04-2008, 17:22:18
So... anyone who doesn't conform to those stereotypes isn't a man.

I think the author is a Female Chauvinist Sow who sulks without a damn good fuck.

Koshko
08-04-2008, 18:29:33
Isn't generalities the man's job and answering specifics to them a woman's job?

Shining1
08-04-2008, 22:58:12
Originally posted by LoD
Couldn't agree more - but she would lose readership if she wrote that too :D.




Actually, thinking about it? Quite prossibly not.

Consider the two really really successful chick shows of the last 5 years or so - Sex in the city, desperate housewives. Yet the comedy in those is mostly derived from the main characters showing off their weaknesses, not their strengths - and they're a smash hit as a result. Because the characters (to a lesser or greater extent) feel real, and people can relate to them.

Pandering to your audience seems to be done more because the writer lacks confidence about offending someone than because it actually works. I mean, I certainly haven't ever been able to relate to that awful style of male comedian who blames everything in their life on their wife. I can't imagine a huge number of women other than a few holdout revanent 70s radical feminists still buy the notion that men are responsible for everything wrong ever* and women are totally awesome.

* Except as a fun exercise in mental agility.

TCO
09-04-2008, 01:53:41
just ditch all the feminist shit, DM, and please your man. Even the most politically liberal man really wants a woman who gives blowjobs and cooks dinner. Keep him happy and everything will work out better.

Koshko
09-04-2008, 02:09:15
TCO is correct. The best way to win a man's heart is through their stomachs and dick.

Greg W
09-04-2008, 03:03:54
See, proof that men are childish. :D

TCO
09-04-2008, 03:08:48
Vive la difference.

devilmunchkin
09-04-2008, 05:11:18
TCO... i don't have a man. I'm very single.

oh shit, tizzy.. i forgot about you. I suppose there are a few of us females floating around.

i didn't take this very seriously either.. but it made me laugh and think "what if i showed this to the guys!?" ... cause i always think of this site as "my guys".. like .. older brothers and what not.

btw.. why does a man ask for your phone number and then not call when he says he will or at all?

Greg W
09-04-2008, 05:21:17
Maybe you should consider us as "your retards" instead, and adjust youe expectations accordingly. ;)

Dunno. I would never not call, but that's just me. There's so many variables that it's very hard to give an opinion. Maybe he got hit by a car and is in hospital in a coma? Maybe he changed his mind? Maybe he's getting rid of some old baggage before he calls you? Maybe he's actually gay and wanted to see if he could get a girl's number for a bet? Who knows...

Greg W
09-04-2008, 05:25:09
Oh, and one general piece of advice about guys. We're generally pretty straight forward. Unlike women, who will drop hints and hope that we notice, we'll just tell you outright if we want something.

Women always think we're hard to understand. I think that's because they think of all their female friends, and how they never really know what they're thinking or what they want, and put that onto men. So they're always second guessing what we say, when we're just being upfront about stuff. There is no hidden meaning. If we say we want to go play golf with our mates, we actually want to go play golf. With our mates. Unless the guy's a dick, he's not trying to hide anything, he just likes playing golf. With his mates. :p

Koshko
09-04-2008, 06:06:32
Women like to ask men what are they thinking about. Dumb question, as the answer is always something they wouldn't want to hear or just absolutely nothing at all.

mr_B
09-04-2008, 07:38:48
Originally posted by devilmunchkin
btw.. why does a man ask for your phone number and then not call when he says he will or at all? dhy!!

Can I have your phonenumber pleezzz?

zmama
09-04-2008, 07:41:58
No DM, no females here

Greg W
09-04-2008, 08:01:46
To be fair, it's a majority male population here. The ratio would have to be 10:1 or so of regular posters. At least, I reckon. ;)

Lazarus and the Gimp
09-04-2008, 09:38:36
Originally posted by devilmunchkin

btw.. why does a man ask for your phone number and then not call when he says he will or at all?


Because he was drunk, and is now staring at a mystery number and wondering if it's a kebab shop that delivers.

Funko
09-04-2008, 09:55:06
Or now that he's no longer drunk he's shy/nervous.

Or he put it in his mobile phone, but he can't remember what your name was so he's not sure which number is yours.

Funko
09-04-2008, 09:56:05
Originally posted by Greg W
To be fair, it's a majority male population here. The ratio would have to be 10:1 or so of regular posters. At least, I reckon. ;)

Tizzy, zmama, dm, alsie

Do we haev 40 regular male posters?

AFAIK there's just me, Keith and the HARDMAN

mr_B
09-04-2008, 10:18:19
and me

Tizzy
09-04-2008, 10:20:49
You are in no way a regular poster.

mr_B
09-04-2008, 10:23:09
owja, and she is right again


so often so so often

Funko
09-04-2008, 10:23:55
Eat some prunes.

mr_B
09-04-2008, 10:25:37
huh

Funko
09-04-2008, 10:36:00
They keep you regular.

MoSe
09-04-2008, 10:41:35
and fiber - FACT!

MoSe
09-04-2008, 10:42:33
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Because he was drunk, and is now staring at a mystery number and wondering if it's a kebab shop that delivers.

so now, DM, expect such a call:

"Hello, do you deliver?"

maroule
09-04-2008, 13:25:06
"hello, I want to eat your moussaka"

LoD
09-04-2008, 13:41:51
Originally posted by Shining1
Actually, thinking about it? Quite prossibly not.
[...]

Interesting points. However, note that with comedy shows, the "last laugh is on you" is implicit, and not many people are actually ready to identify with the characters in this context - whereas with a column, she would be addressing her readers directly.


Or he put it in his mobile phone, but he can't remember what your name was so he's not sure which number is yours.

Or any of the other 100 million possible reasons...

Funko
09-04-2008, 13:58:16
I bet you can't post a million reasons by the end of the day.

LoD
09-04-2008, 14:43:13
Pass :p.

Greg W
09-04-2008, 15:50:33
Originally posted by Funko
Tizzy, zmama, dm, alsie

Do we haev 40 regular male posters?

AFAIK there's just me, Keith and the HARDMAN Um, I would argue that dm and Alsie are not regular posters. Currently anyways, they were before, but then so was LR, Nell and probably a few others who I can't recall. And yeah, I reckon there's a good 20 regular male posters here.

zmama
09-04-2008, 18:30:04
Bah only Funko and Keith and HARDMAN are real

Koshko
09-04-2008, 22:12:10
Originally posted by devilmunchkin
why does a man ask for your phone number and then not call when he says he will or at all?


Men hate phones.

TCO
10-04-2008, 00:44:23
Originally posted by devilmunchkin
TCO... i don't have a man. I'm very single.

oh shit, tizzy.. i forgot about you. I suppose there are a few of us females floating around.

i didn't take this very seriously either.. but it made me laugh and think "what if i showed this to the guys!?" ... cause i always think of this site as "my guys".. like .. older brothers and what not.

btw.. why does a man ask for your phone number and then not call when he says he will or at all?


Hahaha. Women hate that. Use your head. There's nothing so wrong with this.

TCO
10-04-2008, 00:46:50
There's a good James Gunn story called THE MYSOGINIST. I bet Laz is the only one who has read it.

Shining1
10-04-2008, 01:19:58
Originally posted by LoD
Interesting points. However, note that with comedy shows, the "last laugh is on you" is implicit, and not many people are actually ready to identify with the characters in this context - whereas with a column, she would be addressing her readers directly.


Addressing is not the say exactly as rampantly sucking up to.

The endless expert pop-psychologist explinations of the differences between women's and men's brains could be classed in the same group. At the end of the day, any useful information is usually overshadowed by the need to create a feelgood sense of superiority for the expected reader.

Greg W
10-04-2008, 01:34:07
Originally posted by zmama
Bah only Funko and Keith and HARDMAN are real Nah, mr_G is real. Nobody could act that schtoepid and still manage to portray a reasonable persona as other AEs.

:gotit: Well, unless he's a bot I guess. Then again, even Funkobot made more sense than him.

Funko
10-04-2008, 08:26:12
mr_G is one of my creations. I'm much more brilliant than you lot give me credit for.

Funko
10-04-2008, 08:26:57
Keith bet me 5 I couldn't come up with a dumber Dutch AE than his Drekkus one.

But I did buy him a drink with my winnings

MoSe
10-04-2008, 09:32:36
which drink was it?

Funko
10-04-2008, 09:33:27
The 2nd.

mr_B
10-04-2008, 11:39:31
Originally posted by Funko
mr_G is one of my creations. I'm much more brilliant than you lot give me credit for. jesjes he's me me me, mini me

LoD
10-04-2008, 17:29:38
Originally posted by Shining1
Addressing is not the say exactly as rampantly sucking up to.

The endless expert pop-psychologist explinations of the differences between women's and men's brains could be classed in the same group. At the end of the day, any useful information is usually overshadowed by the need to create a feelgood sense of superiority for the expected reader.

And your point is :)?...

devilmunchkin
10-04-2008, 17:30:31
that is really small.. like me

Koshko
10-04-2008, 21:52:37
Small women are awesome. I dig girls I can carry in my pocket.

Oerdin
10-04-2008, 23:16:02
I bet there is a tall Dutch girl some where who would feel the same about Mr G. ;)

Greg W
11-04-2008, 02:09:15
Bratz aren't real girls, Koshko. :D

Shining1
11-04-2008, 08:20:13
Originally posted by LoD
And your point is :)?...

Tits or GTFO. :)