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Lazarus and the Gimp
26-10-2007, 19:25:11
(Scene- I'm walking down to the garage to pick up my car after repairs. It's a walk through fields, and as I emerge onto the road, there's a bloke standing there. Mid-40's, wearing normal leisure clothes, fairly tidy. Nothing unusual. He turns and looks at me)

Nutter- (slightly accusing tone of voice) "Do you know what your name is when you aren't speaking?"

Gimp- "I'm sorry?"

Nutter- (more belligerant) "I said do you know what your name is when you aren't speaking?"

Gimp- "Um"

Nutter- "I'm trying to make a connection with someone and I think it might have been YOU!"

Gimp- "Yes, whatever" (starts walking away)

Nutter- "YES, YOU!! YOU GREY-HAIRED PIECE OF SHIT!"

Gimp- "Great, yes." (Picks up the pace. Almost jogging now).

Nutter- (Incoherant bellowing and fist-shaking, fading in the distance).



Nutters never seem to be bored. So anyone else met one today? I think I handled that in a cool and suave way.

Resource Consumer
26-10-2007, 19:28:57
Well, you did wind me up. And I can't run so fast these days.

Caligastia
26-10-2007, 21:11:19
Sounds like your run-of the-mill NYC subway dweller...has Lurker been on a trip to England?

DaShi
26-10-2007, 21:17:24
It wasn't me. I was screaming at the pigeons today.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
26-10-2007, 21:54:23
You should have asked him "What have you done to my eel? What? WHAT!!???"

Shining1
27-10-2007, 00:38:31
Nay! That way madness lies!

alsieboo
27-10-2007, 23:02:07
I was on the train to Oxford this evening and this bloke was shouting down the other end of the train 'da da' over and over again in a really retarded voice, then he started walking down the train to my carriage and stopped by this bloke a couple of seats away and starts talking to him "da da, why did you go away? Why did you go away da da? It's been so long since I've seen you da da"
This bloke obviously knows him because he tells him to shut the fuck and sit down. Then our lovely nutter starts off again "What did you do to ma ma? Tell me what did you do to ma ma? You hurt ma ma, you BASTARD!!! You hurt ma ma, I can't even look at you anymore, you hurt ma ma so bad, BASTARD!!!" then walks back off down the other end of the train shouting 'bastard'.

This poor bloke sat opposite me looked quite worried when the guy infront of him had the nutter chatting at him, I thought he was going to shit himself!!!!

Koshko
27-10-2007, 23:05:23
One of my goals in life is to become that crazy old man you see wondering around with a basket with cough drops and ice cream cartons in it uttering stuff to the food products in the grocery store.

Chris
28-10-2007, 04:59:55
So, you say you met RC.

OldWarrior_42
28-10-2007, 09:29:22
When I had a business in Flushing, Queens NY, shitloads of nutcakes would be in and around the store all day. They most likely lived in the subway stations all around the area.

One lady, all she ever said was goddammit, goddammit, goddammit all day long and hit herself in the chest, stomach and on top of the head.

They all kept me on my toes.

One other thing I gotta tell you. Every day I would come out of the parking garage and walk past this guy who would just be layed out in front of the entrance. Each day I would see him, he would be missing one more piece of clothing, until finally when I walked past him one morning he was naked. Needless to say the cops finally took him away.

Drekkus
28-10-2007, 19:17:43
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
...Nutter- (slightly accusing tone of voice) "Do you know what your name is when you aren't speaking?"

Very good question though

MoSe
29-10-2007, 08:29:19
it has to do with gnoseology, and poetry

I woulnd't be suprised if it's a Chomsky quote.

;)

C.G.B. Spender
29-10-2007, 08:30:23
It's a koan

maroule
29-10-2007, 08:38:31
it's more or less the story about the tree falling in the forest with no-one witnessing it (does it make a sound?)

Probably a "yes, absolutely!" answer at the first question would have satisfied the nutter

C.G.B. Spender
29-10-2007, 08:39:24
Or "sure, I got an ID card!"

MoSe
29-10-2007, 08:59:37
but unless you say it aloud 3 times, it's just signs on the paper

MoSe
29-10-2007, 09:04:08
"I met a nutter today"
did you make a bolt?

Funko
31-10-2007, 10:29:17
Originally posted by alsieboo
I was on the train to Oxford this evening and this bloke was shouting down the other end of the train 'da da' over and over again in a really retarded voice, then he started walking down the train to my carriage and stopped by this bloke a couple of seats away and starts talking to him "da da, why did you go away? Why did you go away da da? It's been so long since I've seen you da da"

That's so obviously Mr_G

Sirotnikov
02-11-2007, 02:46:44
This one time on a train two women and a small girl (daughter of one of them) wanted to take a seat near an old lady.

Suddenly the old lady got up and began yelling at them "You want to get rid of me! I can see your dark soul!!!! THEY ARE WITCHES!!!! THEY ARE TRYING TO GET RID OF ME!!!"

As she's yelling, she grabs her suitcases (a whole lot of huge suitcases) and begans rampaging around the cart yelling "THEY ARE TRYING TO RID OF ME!!! IT WAS THEIR PLAN ALL ALONG!! I KNEW IT! THEY ARE WITCHES WITH EVIL DARK SOULS!!!"

The two women and the little girls are shocked, as are the rest of the passengers.

The wierd lady went over to the far end of the cart, sat down next to several young kids and began explaining to them, loudly, how she's been mistreated and threatened by the evil witches" The poor kids were too shocked (and too nice) to make her go away.

She eventually settled down and left for another cart.


That was quite odd...

C.G.B. Spender
02-11-2007, 07:51:05
So you don't believe her?

zmama
02-11-2007, 08:21:00
I would. Witches are scary...only ponies are more frightening.

C.G.B. Spender
02-11-2007, 08:25:40
True. Also on my list eskimos and ginger

Drekkus
02-11-2007, 10:41:45
I met a nut today, oh boy

Greg W
02-11-2007, 11:29:59
I had a kid say "Fuck you" to me the other day. He seemed kinda sad when I replied "Thanks for the offer, but you're not my type".

C.G.B. Spender
02-11-2007, 11:36:07
You're a liar!

Drekkus
02-11-2007, 12:06:08
I love to tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn yooouuuuu ooooooooon

Greg W
02-11-2007, 12:35:53
Originally posted by C.G.B. Spender
You're a liar! Well, yes, just not whne I said that.

MDA
02-11-2007, 14:54:21
For PONY!

MDA
02-11-2007, 14:54:57
... and Maryann was way scarier than Ginger

Drekkus
02-11-2007, 14:58:14
I don't recall a Maryann Spice

Cruddy
02-11-2007, 17:28:29
I have an occasional problem with a female acquiantance at a local social club.

If I walk in to a room, she will stand on her chair screaming "Potential RAPIST!" over and over again.

It's freaky the first time, but she turns up with her knickers on her head sometimes, so it's pretty obvious where the fault is.

I hope so, anyway. She's ugly as hell.

The Mad Monk
02-11-2007, 18:06:54
She's coming on to you.

Funko
05-11-2007, 10:24:34
Quite a lot of people met a nutter at my house the saturday before last.