View Full Version : Austrian English, or: Hubsi wants good contacts upright furthermore

Dyl Ulenspiegel
28-09-2007, 18:58:34
Brilliant letter from our former minister of fuckups....


"The most common 263 mistakes in English made by German speakers"

Hubsi's still in a league of his own. :D

edit: found the full text:

"Frastanz, 18 July 2007

Dear Alistar!

Because of my retirement of the Austrian Government at the beginning of the year I got a lot of inquiries responding different offers concerning consulting-contracts for Austrian firms as well as international firms in order to deploy all my international contacts and beyond of this to use my friendly relations in so many regions.

In respect of the 'handshake' with a very good friend who is leading a big tourism company, I didn't go after this and I declined a lot of inquiries. Now, after considerable time, I feel 'the world in Vorarlberg is too small' and I considered starting my own business in consulting and lobbying.

Because of that I'm going on to establish relations in consulting - that's why I apply to you, my 'long-time friend.' I intend to do project-related activities limited in time as well as I would like to innovate my long and positive experiences, my 'know-how', all my previous experiences - commercial and political - in supervisory boards and advisory boards etc.

Therefore I accepted with pleasure the election in the supervisory board in one of the most famous Austrian firms - the RHI-group (world market leader in refractory products, quoted).

If you know about any area of operation for myself, where I am able to intend all my experiences and my know-how, please let me know, I am available anytime for further information.

At this time the most important thing for me is that our good contacts will be upright furthermore!

I wish you and your team all the best.

With kindest regards"

29-09-2007, 03:48:22
Wouldn't we all like to innovate our long and positive experiences though, honestly? =)

(At least he didn't try to leverage his synergies going forward. =/ )

29-09-2007, 06:06:14
I like the quotes best, my 'long-time forum friends'

29-09-2007, 08:34:12
I 'know-how' you mean.

29-09-2007, 13:25:06
Germans are weird, Austrians are worse. They would have to do a number to top this though.

Booklets from a subsidiary of the German government’s Ministry for Family Affairs encourage parents to sexually massage their children as young as 1 to 3 years of age. Two 40-page booklets entitled “Love, Body and Playing Doctor” by the German Federal Health Education Center (Bundeszentrale für gesundheitliche Aufklärung - BZgA) are aimed at parents - the first addressing children from 1-3 and the other children from 4-6 years of age.
“Fathers do not devote enough attention to the clitoris and vagina of their daughters. Their caresses too seldom pertain to these regions, while this is the only way the girls can develop a sense of pride in their sex,” reads the booklet regarding 1-3 year olds. The authors rationalize, “The child touches all parts of their father’s body, sometimes arousing him. The father should do the same.”…The pamphlet advises parents to permit young children “unlimited masturbation” except where physical injury becomes apparent. It advises: “Children should learn that there is no such thing as shameful parts of the body. The body is a home, which you should be proud of.” For ages 4-6, the booklet recommends teaching children the movements of copulation.
Another product of the BZgA is a song book aimed at children of four and slightly older which includes several songs espousing masturbation. The song-book entitled “Nose, belly and bum” includes one song with the following lyrics: “When I touch my body, I discover what I have. I have a vagina, because I am a girl. Vagina is not only for peeing. When I touch it, I feel a pleasant tingle.”


I'm hoping it isn't true.

29-09-2007, 14:08:52

01-10-2007, 08:36:41
From the German speakers mistakes:

#6. One for the stockbrokers out there: there is a verb, 'to go public' in English meaning 'to float' or 'to be listed on the stock market for the first time' but there is NO corresponding noun. You should refer to the 'flotation' of a company or the 'IPO' (initial public offering).

So they would say the Publication of a Company? :lol:

C.G.B. Spender
01-10-2007, 08:48:32

01-10-2007, 08:57:39

Dyl Ulenspiegel
01-10-2007, 09:03:51
Originally posted by Funko
From the German speakers mistakes:

So they would say the Publication of a Company? :lol:


Although I would have thought that "going public" can be used as a noun....

01-10-2007, 09:12:54
Yeah, I assume he means there's no single word. It's actually quite a badly written guide, especially when aimed at people as literal as Germans. It's a bit simplistic and he's missed out some exceptions like that one and stuff like "I am single" is correct but so is "I am a single man"*.

He's also attempted 'humour' which I'm sure the Germans won't appreciate.

Anyway, I got about 170 items through that list and now I need to make a pause.

*actually, this isn't correct. According to Tizzy anyway.

01-10-2007, 10:45:12
He mentions "it's raining cats and dogs" is old fashioned twice. 262 reasons!

C.G.B. Spender
01-10-2007, 10:46:22
what is it raining these days?

01-10-2007, 10:47:20
Oh and apartment only having 1 p, and Hungaria, and making an exam

01-10-2007, 10:47:20
He mentions several twice.