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Lazarus and the Gimp
23-07-2007, 21:21:55
Since the weather's gone all Old Testament, I've realised my duty is to save the breeding stock of Britain's future- so I'm snapping up all representative native species. Right now I'm building a little hutch for my breeding pair of chavs- they're 12 years old so I just need to keep plying them with Sunny Delight and KFC, and let nature take its course.

Now, of course, I need a breeding pair of British Counterglowers, and since my nuts are disconnected I need to recruit. Who should be used to repopulate the British species of gay twats after the rest are drownded?

JM^3
23-07-2007, 21:24:02
what do you keep a pair of chavs on hand for?

JM

Oerdin
23-07-2007, 21:53:11
Your daughter is already 12?

[/really tasteless and slightly offensive joke]

Lazarus and the Gimp
24-07-2007, 05:01:56
Originally posted by JM^3
what do you keep a pair of chavs on hand for?

JM

Own goal.

Funko
24-07-2007, 08:40:32
I think you should breed Nav and RC.

Drekkus
24-07-2007, 16:46:05
Maybe God wants all brits to drown, so when the water recedes, the land can be occupied by dutch people, who will fight off the water for good.

Debaser
24-07-2007, 20:14:39
If you fight off the water for good, then the folly of those underwater bridges will become even more apparent than it is already.

alsieboo
24-07-2007, 22:11:56
Can I come on your ark?

Lancer
25-07-2007, 01:05:09
Don'y forget pythons.

Oerdin
25-07-2007, 01:11:12
Monty?

Lancer
25-07-2007, 01:12:55
It's...

Lazarus and the Gimp
25-07-2007, 05:18:43
Originally posted by alsieboo
Can I come on your ark?

Providing you don't mind being used as breeding stock, you're welcome.

Oerdin
25-07-2007, 05:28:37
So who's the lucky bloke? I recall you had your tackle trimmed so you'll have to find someone.

alsieboo
25-07-2007, 20:50:57
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Providing you don't mind being used as breeding stock, you're welcome.

I always wanted a baby

devilmunchkin
26-07-2007, 04:36:50
once you build your ark..can you float over and pick me up? i can be your resident american.

Funko
26-07-2007, 08:54:03
I didn't think the call for breeding stock would be so successful.

Aredhran
26-07-2007, 10:21:25
indeed :eek:

Bill Oddie
26-07-2007, 11:14:05
If you were building an auk then I would help you

Venom
26-07-2007, 11:51:18
Originally posted by Funko
I didn't think the call for breeding stock would be so successful.

2. That's 5 more than I expected.

Greg W
26-07-2007, 12:25:13
Originally posted by alsieboo
Can I come on your ark? Depends how skillful the bloke is...

Tizzy
26-07-2007, 12:27:36
I'm surprised it took so long for someone to say something like that.

Aredhran
27-07-2007, 09:01:06
You needed your resident Aussie pervert for that :D

Greg W
29-07-2007, 09:12:45
You rang?

Lancer
29-07-2007, 18:55:16
Whatever floats yer boat.

Venom
30-07-2007, 11:55:03
I'm also going to build and ark. An Ark of the Covenant. I wish to find more impressive ways to melt people.

Oerdin
30-07-2007, 13:49:49
It might be hard to come across the crushed remnants of the original 10 commandments though. Maybe you could use cheap Gideon's Bibles from stolen from hotel rooms around the country?

Funko
30-07-2007, 13:51:12
It's in a big old gov't warehouse somewhere.

Venom
30-07-2007, 14:10:15
It's easy. All I have to do is become a religious zealot and then god will take care of everything for me.

Drekkus
30-07-2007, 14:21:44
Originally posted by Funko
It's in a big old gov't warehouse somewhere. And so is the new remasterd version of raiders of the lost ark

Funko
30-07-2007, 14:26:17
the retarded version.

Cruddy
30-07-2007, 17:28:42
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Right now I'm building a little hutch for my breeding pair of chavs- they're 12 years old so I just need to keep plying them with Sunny Delight and KFC, and let nature take its course.


It won't work Laz. You'll just end up with 2 chavs too fat to make it out the Hutch door.

Shotgun them through the head - it's more merciful.