PDA

View Full Version : A key for fucking idiots


King_Ghidra
21-12-2006, 17:18:06
Delayed = This service is delayed
No report = There is no report on the progress of this service yet
On time = This service is on time
Starts here = The service has not yet started the journey
Cancelled = The service has been cancelled

Thank you Network rail, thank you.

Funko
21-12-2006, 17:24:17
:lol:

fp
21-12-2006, 17:46:50
Brilliant.

Gramercy Riffs
21-12-2006, 18:17:49
Network Rail = A network of rails.

Funko
22-12-2006, 08:50:26
I can imagine the look on the developers face when someone said "I think we need a key to explain these terms".

Drekkus
22-12-2006, 10:31:48
Are these the notifications on the station about the progress of the trains? At least it's two steps further than we get here where the train just comes in late without any notification

Debaser
22-12-2006, 10:40:43
Only major stations have any notification as far as I know, most you just have to take your chances.

King_Ghidra
22-12-2006, 10:47:02
This was actually from the website.

Here's the kind of thing i find myself looking at at around 5pm

http://www.livedepartureboards.co.uk/ldb/sumdep.aspx?T=THE

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 10:48:20
Woah, that's some up to minute shizzle. Cutting edge.

Debaser
22-12-2006, 10:57:26
It's probably made up though. Like those screens on the platforms at Reading that say stuff like "The next train is the 10:34 to Paddington - Due at 10:40", then it gets to 10:40 and the screens mysteriously updated itself to read "... - Due 10:45", then it gets to 10:45 and the screen's updated to say 10:50 etc...

Drekkus
22-12-2006, 11:05:38
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
This was actually from the website.

Here's the kind of thing i find myself looking at at around 5pm

http://www.livedepartureboards.co.uk/ldb/sumdep.aspx?T=THE :lol: OK, that IS stupid

What Debaser is saying is indeed so very, very annoying. They also cheat by switching the departure time (10:34) to the arrival time (10:50). So the actual delay is in fact longer than they make you believe.

i'm so glad i drive to work nowadays.

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 11:05:43
I know, it's pure bulshit. I love the way it gets to within 1 minute of the "arrival" time and then it refreshes and tells you to get to a platform on the other side of the station, and you have supposedly 1/2 minute to get there.

Tizzy
22-12-2006, 11:06:21
The best ones are when the 10:34 is shown as "on time" but it's already 10:38 or whatever.

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 11:07:12
Yeah, there's optimism and then there's farse.

King_Ghidra
22-12-2006, 11:09:06
there's also farce

but farse also has a 'ring' of truth about it

Tizzy
22-12-2006, 11:10:58
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
I know, it's pure bulshit. I love the way it gets to within 1 minute of the "arrival" time and then it refreshes and tells you to get to a platform on the other side of the station, and you have supposedly 1/2 minute to get there.

Had that the other week on the way to London, they swapped round the platforms for 2 incoming trains with less than a minute to go. Cue many annoyed people bashing into each other trying to get to the right platform.

Drekkus
22-12-2006, 11:11:13
Don't they talk farse in india or something?

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 11:11:41
Hmm that farse can be spelt both ways - confusing.

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 11:17:00
Most common Persian language - farsi

Drekkus
22-12-2006, 11:20:39
Ah yes, of coursi.

Lazarus and the Gimp
22-12-2006, 11:59:09
So the Parsi speak Farsi?

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 12:21:41
classi

Dyl Ulenspiegel
22-12-2006, 13:22:00
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
So the Parsi speak Farsi?

Yes, and KG out of his arsi.

King_Ghidra
22-12-2006, 13:37:22
how rudi

Funko
22-12-2006, 13:41:21
You lot are voller shit.

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 14:22:11
what a lothar shit.

Funko
22-12-2006, 14:23:48
Kuntz

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 14:31:41
I'm goona kick your shins mann.

Funko
22-12-2006, 14:36:52
Stop talking ballacks, you couldn't get klose!

Mr. Bas
22-12-2006, 14:40:29
To be hoenesst, I don't think this thread kahn get any worse.

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 14:41:46
This is the Best thread ever-ton

Funko
22-12-2006, 14:42:38
I was in the pub the other day with a former baywatch star, getting drunk. "My round, What do you want?" He said. "Oliver Bierhoff", I replied. "Müller Lite or Försters?" "er... Oliver Kahn of Försters..."
Hoff isn't drinking these days so he stuck to the Coca Kohler.

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 14:42:41
you filthy sweinsteiger./

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 14:45:45
Originally posted by Funko
I was in the pub the other day with a former baywatch star, getting drunk. "My round, What do you want?" He said. "Oliver Bierhoff", I replied. "Müller Lite or Försters?" "er... Oliver Kahn of Försters..."
Hoff isn't drinking these days so he stuck to the Coca Kohler.

Did you make that up? That is the best thing ever

Nills Lagerbaak
22-12-2006, 14:48:35
What I meant to say was If you think that was funny - you got another Frinks coming.

Funko
22-12-2006, 15:00:04
That's pretty Lehmman.

fp
23-12-2006, 14:41:46
The quality of jokes in this thread is Lahm-entable. I'd try to come up with some myself but it's too much of a Hassler.

mr_G
23-12-2006, 15:00:44
:lol: great thread