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Lazarus and the Gimp
20-11-2006, 19:29:44
Police in South Africa are trying to trace the owner of a severed penis which was found lying on the ground in a village.

The penis, which was not attached to anybody, was found on the ground outside a house in the small village of Masoyi, in the Mpumalanga region of eastern South Africa.

The police were called by the man who found the penis, which was not his penis, last Friday morning.

According to local police Superintendent Benjamin Mtsholi Bhembe, the man saw an unusual object on the ground outside the house he was taking care of.

'On closer inspection, he realised that it was a man's private part,' said Bhembe.

Initial police investigations around the neighbourhood which we imagine involved knocking on people's doors and asking ' have you lost your penis?' proved unsuccessful.

Authorities are urging the penis's owner to come forward. If you have lost you penis, you are advised to contact your nearest South African police station.


http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=25932&in_page_id=2

Beta1
20-11-2006, 20:00:42
I like the "the man who found the penis, which was not his penis" bit. Makes it sound like he had lsot his penis and was out looking for it but found someone elses.

That would be annoying

MDA
20-11-2006, 20:09:06
King Missile had a song about this...

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It's detachable
This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it
First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn't find it
So I called up the place where the party was
They hadn't seen it either
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party
But they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.
Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it
I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17
I took it home
Washed it off
And put it back on
I was happy again
Complete
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached
But I don't know
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis

DaShi
20-11-2006, 22:52:59
How do people keep losing these things?

Immortal Wombat
20-11-2006, 23:14:17
Some people just aren't as attached to their penis.

Diss
21-11-2006, 00:24:15
Is it me, or is this a poorly written article? And this is from someone with a poor command of the english language.

the penis, which was not attached to anybody. :lol:

Japher
21-11-2006, 00:43:49
I liked that bit too...

Venom? We knew you had no balls, but what's with this sending your penis to S. Africa? Study abroad program?

Koshko
21-11-2006, 06:56:32
Now honestly ... if you found someone's PENIS detached on the ground, would you pick it up?

King_Ghidra
21-11-2006, 08:58:45
and eat it, yes.

Funko
21-11-2006, 08:59:57
Don't you remember the rhyme?

Find a penis, pick it up. All day long you'll have good luck.

JM^3
21-11-2006, 09:00:09
If he was a Tapir (or German) he would eat it.

JM

Kitsuki
21-11-2006, 09:21:33
Originally posted by Diss
Is it me, or is this a poorly written article? And this is from someone with a poor command of the english language.

Own Goal. Was in Metro.

Tizzy
21-11-2006, 09:32:26
If you have lost you penis, you are advised to contact your nearest South African police station.

:lol:

MDA
21-11-2006, 12:02:42
you'd think they'd want you in the hospital

JM^3
21-11-2006, 12:03:18
First you have to azquire it from the loss and found.

JM

Koshko
22-11-2006, 01:08:34
I would assume by now it's too late anyway.