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Japher
04-10-2006, 17:24:31
Venom, I need your help once again.

You helped me with my resume and my cover letter.

Somehow it looks like I migh get offered a new and better job. I had a phone interview with the HR rep and with the hiring manager and the both liked me. They now want me to come in and meet with the rest of the team. Basically that's a personality test and I don't think even Keith can help me over that hurdle.

However, where I can use some help is how to, in a VERY Venomesque way, tell my boss to shove it. Any ideas?

JM^3
04-10-2006, 17:28:39
I fucked your daughter.

JM

Fistandantilus
04-10-2006, 17:30:33
Originally posted by Japher
.. I had a phone interview with the HR rep and with the hiring manager and the both liked me.

What's wrong with them?

Venom
04-10-2006, 17:31:29
Step 1) Write out a resignation letter that says, in giant font, Hey <insert bosses name here>. Fuck you, you cunt. I quit.
Step 2) Laminate letter 14 times so it becomes like a small sheet of plywood.
Step 3) Punch boss in face and cram laminated resignation letter down his throat. Use your fists or a hammer to make sure it fits.
Step 4) Strut out of the office and bitch slap anyone that comes within arms reach.
Step 5) Shit on the receptionist's desk.
Step 6) Walk out the door.
Step 7) Light someone's car on fire.

Japher
04-10-2006, 17:33:33
I knew you could help!

Lurker
04-10-2006, 17:49:46
:lol:

Lurker
04-10-2006, 17:50:11
The original premise is, of course, ridiculous, however.

Oerdin
04-10-2006, 17:57:07
I honestly wouldn't burn any bridges. You just never know who you will run into at an interview 10 years from now so make sure you remain professional but honest.

Oerdin
04-10-2006, 17:58:25
Originally posted by Lurker
The original premise is, of course, ridiculous, however.

That someone would want to hire Japher? Agreed.







;)

Japher
04-10-2006, 18:15:59
My boss is mad that the things that aren't priority aren't getting done, but since he sets the priorities he can't be mad at himself... or something.

That, and everyone in his department wants to quit. He has had 16 employees in 5 years in a department of 6 total people. It's obviously him, because the work is fine.

Venom
04-10-2006, 18:21:51
Originally posted by Oerdin
I honestly wouldn't burn any bridges. You just never know who you will run into at an interview 10 years from now so make sure you remain professional but honest.

You're not burning any bridges. You're only burning cars.

Caligastia
04-10-2006, 18:25:02
Originally posted by Japher
My boss is mad that the things that aren't priority aren't getting done, but since he sets the priorities he can't be mad at himself... or something.

That, and everyone in his department wants to quit. He has had 16 employees in 5 years in a department of 6 total people. It's obviously him, because the work is fine.

So you can find satisfaction in the knowledge that you are probably another anil in his coffin.

Japher
04-10-2006, 18:36:55
Can't do anything about it.

Caligastia
04-10-2006, 18:38:20
Perhaps you will be the straw that breaks the camel's back, as far as his bosses are concerned.

Japher
04-10-2006, 19:03:40
That would be nice, as my coworkers are really nice and deserve a better boss.

I'm not going to burn any bridges, but I've seen other people quit and when they turn in their letters they get really mad, like you burnt their baby or something.

Cruddy
04-10-2006, 19:09:09
VERY IMPORTANT: Start the letter " I QUIT". Make sure it is dated.

That you you shold avoid any potential shit with breaches of discipline.

One guy quitting Capita wrote "I feel the same dread at working for you as a Jew would feel kissing Hitler's Arse".

He was actually disciplined with that and threatened with instant dismissal.

Caligastia
04-10-2006, 19:19:19
Originally posted by Japher
That would be nice, as my coworkers are really nice and deserve a better boss.

I'm not going to burn any bridges, but I've seen other people quit and when they turn in their letters they get really mad, like you burnt their baby or something.

You mean your company gets mad at people for quitting?

Oerdin
04-10-2006, 19:24:50
I would just say something bland and corporate. I.E. I have decided that for personal development and career advancement reasons to prosue other opportunities at this time. I value the accomplishments and experiences I have had at (company X) however I am now tendering my resignation which will be effective (insert date).


It needs to be polished and expanded but that would be my basic thrust. 9 times out of 10 they'll just pay for the last two weeks and have you leave right away. I'd load up on any reports you need/want, tie up any loose ends, and pass out your personal number to anyone you might want to network with again in the future, and then speak to the boss. You want everything ready before you hand him that letter.

Japher
04-10-2006, 19:46:26
You mean your company gets mad at people for quitting?

Yes.

I would just say something bland and corporate. I.E. I have decided that for personal development and career advancement reasons to prosue other opportunities at this time. I value the accomplishments and experiences I have had at (company X) however I am now tendering my resignation which will be effective (insert date).


That's probably what I'd do. In the exit interview I will just mention that it's interesting that my boss has such a high turn over with his employees, and leave it at that.

Fistandantilus
04-10-2006, 20:37:51
Originally posted by Venom

...
Step 5) Shit on the receptionist's desk.
...
Step 7) Light someone's car on fire.

:lol: these are quality

Chris
05-10-2006, 00:31:48
Wuss

Kick the boss in the balls

MoSe
05-10-2006, 07:26:34
Originally posted by Venom
You're not burning any bridges.
but only because you're not in Doesburg

mr_G
05-10-2006, 08:02:08
Originally posted by Venom
You're not burning any bridges. You're only burning cars. burning bridges is so NOT DONE!!!

and venom that was some seriously serious good advice.
You have to get a career in sdvising tralalalala.

Japher
05-10-2006, 13:16:20
I can hardly believe he gives this stuff out for free

Venom
05-10-2006, 13:19:03
I consider it a civil service. Or uncivil service. Or civil disservice.

Japher
05-10-2006, 13:26:52
discivil unservice!

Resource Consumer
05-10-2006, 14:00:16
Originally posted by JM^3
I fucked your daughter.

JM

Amateur

I fucked your mother but I never fucked your daughter

JM^3
05-10-2006, 16:46:27
Well, if they are a boss, they are probably too old to have a hot mother.. so daughter is better!

JM

Resource Consumer
05-10-2006, 17:52:39
You will no doubt go far

Caligastia
05-10-2006, 17:59:36
Do I detect a hint of sarcasm?

Colon
05-10-2006, 18:02:25
I look forward to the day JM gets arrested on suspicion of child molesting and punched for slandering his boss' deceased wife.

Lurker
05-10-2006, 18:26:57
Reminds me of something that happened at work a good many years ago. Some new guy was asked by one of the partners to send something to a client. So the new buy basically cuts and pastes a previous letter, probably about a year old, that the partner had sent to the client. That letter had concluded "Please give my regards to your lovely wife, [name]". That's bad, but hardly worth a story. The really bad part is the client's wife had died about six months prior.

MDA
05-10-2006, 19:11:21
oh, that's bad

JM^3
05-10-2006, 19:54:58
Sounds like something I would do.

JM
(well, not the copy and paste part)