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View Full Version : British men have small balls


Asher
29-08-2006, 01:57:58
This is the conclusion I've reached. I've noticed a huge proportion of British men sit cross-legged (not the ankle-on-knee, but the knee-on-knee cross). They must have small balls.

Is it genetic or a result of living in such a poncy culture?

Diss
29-08-2006, 03:15:00
British men are gay- fact

Koshko
29-08-2006, 04:10:31
British men have small penii. Fact.

Scabrous Birdseed
29-08-2006, 06:28:31
Actually their scrotums are so big that their egg-sized bollocks are resting on the chair between their crossed legs.

Or maybe it's the cultured man's way of sitting (no dirty feet at other people's knee height, straight back, crotch area covered) so they grin and bear it.

mr_G
29-08-2006, 07:04:01
Scab is right actually they sit on their balls, that's why they talk with a stif upperlip.

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-08-2006, 07:27:18
I'm curious as to what research was used to reach this conclusion as to British seating preferences.

maroule
29-08-2006, 07:59:44
by working out a percentage oout of english male who sat on his face

devilmunchkin
29-08-2006, 08:01:04
if asher did any research, it was only on gay guys. thus, we conclude that british fruits have small balls.

no..i take that back...male fruits from birminghamshire (why does that strike me as not a real name) have small kiwis.

Funko
29-08-2006, 08:05:55
Probably because it is a made up name. :D Birmingham is in Warwickshire.

Drekkus
29-08-2006, 12:30:01
What a load of bollocks

Funko
29-08-2006, 12:34:12
Is Asher really in Birmingham? He should go out and about in Perry Barr and ask the guys there if they have small balls.

Drekkus
29-08-2006, 12:57:45
what's in Perry Bar?

Funko
29-08-2006, 12:58:25
Really nice friendly people who'll help him with his research.

Drekkus
29-08-2006, 13:23:23
good!

C.G.B. Spender
29-08-2006, 17:42:20
Balls are overrated

JM^3
29-08-2006, 17:44:57
I ahve always wondered about that also.

I have seen asian men do that also..

JM

C.G.B. Spender
29-08-2006, 17:46:33
Overrate balls?

Dyl Ulenspiegel
29-08-2006, 17:46:34
Watching the seating habits of other men iz gay.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
29-08-2006, 17:46:57
And overrating balls.

Asher
29-08-2006, 22:19:47
Originally posted by devilmunchkin
if asher did any research, it was only on gay guys. thus, we conclude that british fruits have small balls.

no..i take that back...male fruits from birminghamshire (why does that strike me as not a real name) have small kiwis.
I don't know any gay British guys. I'm basing my observation largely on British tourists I've seen around the hotels the past few days. 100% of them, out of a sample of 4, cross legs like a woman.

Koshko
29-08-2006, 22:23:11
I guess when it's 55 degrees and rain for 300 consecutive days, your balls tend not to develop as much.

JM^3
29-08-2006, 22:31:52
Yeah, but it is a gay british tourist festival.

JKM

devilmunchkin
29-08-2006, 23:03:52
well, maybe it's a cultural thing. over in britain maybe crossing your legs isn't considered effeminate. but really, i can't imagine someone like Funko or Venom crossing their legs.

and what does crossing your legs have to do with having small balls?

Asher
29-08-2006, 23:10:25
Are you aware of where balls are located?

Consider the implications of a tight knee-on-knee leg cross.

Gibsie
29-08-2006, 23:14:10
As long as you have a bit of practise you can do it without any considerable discomfort... I think.

Colon
29-08-2006, 23:40:33
Resting your laptop on your lap makes you impotent. - FACT!

Diss
29-08-2006, 23:50:27
I can do it if I pull my balls up. In fact, occasionally I will cross my legs in that way (when I'm alone). I have to put my hands down my pants and pull my balls up so they are resting on top of my legs, instead of being scrunched inbetween my legs.

I put my hands down my pants alot though. ;) So it's no big deal.

Colon
30-08-2006, 00:06:50
Was the Don gay?

http://www.recessmonkey.com/media/Don%20Michael%20Corleone.jpg

Koshko
30-08-2006, 01:06:13
Are you one of those freaks that accidently sit on thier balls?

Asher
30-08-2006, 01:12:20
Me?

If your balls were big you'd see the problem.

Diss
30-08-2006, 01:16:42
in fact, right now I'm sitting with my legs closed. I guess that is gay, but it's comfortable. But like crossing legs, I have to pull my balls up, so they are resting on my legs, not crushed between them. It's the most comfortable position when I'm on the computer. As I don't have room to spread my legs. Or if I do, I have to sit upright, when I'd rather lean back.

JM^3
30-08-2006, 01:44:52
really? I can't see how that would be comfortable at all..

and I don't think my balls are large

JM

Koshko
30-08-2006, 02:26:00
The balls can rest above, or the balls be be one above the other within the thigh.

devilmunchkin
30-08-2006, 02:30:31
i'm very familiar with balls...you could sit like that and have one in front of the other instead of side by side.

Asher
30-08-2006, 03:25:45
Only if they're tiny.

Asher
30-08-2006, 03:26:14
Or maybe if the guy has zero thigh muscles...

devilmunchkin
30-08-2006, 03:49:27
i dunno..they didn't look tiny

mr_G
30-08-2006, 05:14:56
i like my balls - FACT!!!!

Lazarus and the Gimp
30-08-2006, 07:26:28
As Diss has pointed out, the old chaps just need to be hoisted up out of harm's way, so they rest on top. As an added bonus, this tends to give one a "lunchbox" of intimidating proportions.

It's probably not possible for those with scrotums still at pubescent levels of tautness, but for the more capacious hold-alls associated with adults, it's easy.

Funko
30-08-2006, 08:01:55
Originally posted by Asher
I don't know any gay British guys. I'm basing my observation largely on British tourists I've seen around the hotels the past few days. 100% of them, out of a sample of 4, cross legs like a woman.

British men are banned from taking their balls out of the country, since the recent terror alerts.

Diss
30-08-2006, 08:52:18
and another thing is tight pants. I seriously don't know how people did that shit in the 70's. When I had gained a lot of weight, I tried wearing some of my old clothes. Very uncomfortable down there.

In fact, I only wear loose fitting jeans now. And it's not like I'm fat. I only weight 138 pounds. Although I might still have a fat ass, I can't see back there. :)

And you look at those old 70's movies, how in the fuck did they do that?

I'm also under the theory that tight pants restricts penis growth. :). Not that it has any chance of growing in my lifetime. But that's my theory why africans have larger penises. Although it doesn't explain Asians. Oh well, the thoery isn't perfect.

MoSe
30-08-2006, 11:36:57
what's the buzz?

tight leg-crossing brits could just have a well trained cremasteric

Drekkus
30-08-2006, 11:46:03
a what??

King_Ghidra
30-08-2006, 11:50:26
the cremaster muscle is the muscle which controls your nuts going up or down

don't ask me how i know that

MoSe
30-08-2006, 11:53:27
http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/cremaster+muscle

Clinically, a reflex arc can be demonstrated by lightly stroking the skin of the inner thigh downwards from the hip towards the knee. This causes the cremaster muscle on the same side to rapidly contract, raising that testicle.

The cremaster can also be contracted voluntarily, by contracting the [pubococcygeus] muscle (using Kegels), or by sucking in the abdomen. Not all males are capable of doing this {and I thought it was just natural...}, as it requires pelvic muscle strength.

you might find interesting to follow the PC muscle links..
you'd get to
...almost any man can teach himself to become multiply orgasmic within six months.
The secret to achieving multiple orgasms lies in learning to control ejaculation via the pubic, or pubococcygeus (PC), muscle. Also known as the voluntary urinary sphincter muscle, the PC muscle starts and stops the flow of urine. Once strengthened, it can provide the same sort of control over ejaculation.


:D
:nervous:

mr_G
30-08-2006, 11:53:42
SUMO

MoSe
30-08-2006, 11:59:06
???

Acronym Definition
SUMO Small Ubiquitin-Like Modifier
SUMO Spacecraft for the Unmanned Modification of Orbits (US DARPA)
SUMO Stanford University Mathematical Organization
SUMO Sufficiently Uniform Memory Organization
SUMO Suggested Upper Merged Ontology
SUMO Surgery and Molecular Oncology (Department of Dundee University

;)

mr_G
30-08-2006, 12:07:05
nonono stjoepit

http://www.kampfsport-online.com/Japan/Sumo/sumo.h3.jpg

Lazarus and the Gimp
30-08-2006, 12:08:02
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
the cremaster muscle is the muscle which controls your nuts going up or down

don't ask me how i know that

It was from having Protein post here, and his revelation that discussion of blood or injuries made his testicles retract involuntarily.

That made me more inclined to drop gory imagery into random posts, so that I could make his plums go yo-yo.

MoSe
30-08-2006, 12:10:48
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
plums go yo-yo.

one of my fav pastimes!

Lazarus and the Gimp
30-08-2006, 12:12:51
So how many posters are now stroking their inner thighs thoughtfully?

King_Ghidra
30-08-2006, 12:13:42
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
It was from having Protein post here, and his revelation that discussion of blood or injuries made his testicles retract involuntarily.

That made me more inclined to drop gory imagery into random posts, so that I could make his plums go yo-yo.

:D

As Roy Walker would say 'good guess, but you're not right'

It was because of this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cremaster_Cycle

The films are massively pretentious nonsense but visually stunning all the same

mr_G
30-08-2006, 12:20:28
King_Ghidra man with wikipedia knowledge

Funko
30-08-2006, 12:24:01
An amazing breadth of knowledge which is occasionally corrupted by malicious individuals.

mr_G
30-08-2006, 12:26:01
:lol: brilliant

MoSe
30-08-2006, 12:31:11
SUCKING AT THE BREAST OF KNOWLEDGE!

Diss
30-08-2006, 19:10:53
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
So how many posters are now stroking their inner thighs thoughtfully?

I'm always stroking.

Gibsie
30-08-2006, 20:33:05
I'm just worried cos I'm reading this thread with my laptop on top of my lap... though there is a pillow between.

King_Ghidra
31-08-2006, 08:11:31
THE RADIATION IS ZAPPING YOUR BALLS!

Funko
31-08-2006, 08:18:12
Is it a dell laptop and you're playing some kind of russian roulette with your bollocks?

Chris
31-08-2006, 11:20:24
The super science of British balls, you learn all kinds of things on the net.

paiktis22
31-08-2006, 12:00:35
...almost any man can teach himself to become multiply orgasmic within six months.
The secret to achieving multiple orgasms lies in learning to control ejaculation via the pubic, or pubococcygeus (PC), muscle. Also known as the voluntary urinary sphincter muscle, the PC muscle starts and stops the flow of urine. Once strengthened, it can provide the same sort of control over ejaculation.


THis reminds me our biology teacher at high school. She said that we can prolong our sexual pleasure if we trained the muscle that controls the release of sperm. She said it was the same as that which controls urine. So when we pissed she proposed that we stop pissing and start again, stop and start again. We tried to do it in our leasure but we couldn't enjoy the pissing with all this tough exercise so we abandoned it.

King_Ghidra
31-08-2006, 12:18:23
your biology teacher at school??!?!

good christ

paiktis22
31-08-2006, 12:24:39
biology is fun!
(really i was getting 19 out of 20 all the time)

MoSe
31-08-2006, 14:24:39
KG, dont' forget Greece is the country where Plato and Aristotiles praised sex with teenager kids... more or less...
:cute:

Gibsie
31-08-2006, 14:41:29
Originally posted by Funko
Is it a dell laptop and you're playing some kind of russian roulette with your bollocks?

Jesus mother-fucking Christ, I forgot about that!

Beta1
31-08-2006, 14:52:38
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
your biology teacher at school??!?!

good christ

I just checked, I'm not teaching that next year.

Funko
31-08-2006, 15:14:12
Originally posted by Gibsie
Jesus mother-fucking Christ, I forgot about that!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

paiktis22
31-08-2006, 15:18:42
The biology teacher was very timid. Not the supersexual promiscuous sexabomba you dirty minds have in mind. she said that in a shy way and almost blushed. (didt prevent us from fantasizing our dick was the fixed to the wall soap she used at the labaratory though)

Funko
31-08-2006, 15:19:37
She fucked the fixed to the wall soap?

Lazarus and the Gimp
31-08-2006, 15:22:27
Dirty slapper.

Funko
31-08-2006, 15:23:46
Was there a problem with dropping the soap in a laboratory?

King_Ghidra
31-08-2006, 15:24:29
might get a pipette where you wouldn't want it

Funko
31-08-2006, 15:24:55
One of your backing singers?

paiktis22
31-08-2006, 15:37:17
Originally posted by Funko
She fucked the fixed to the wall soap?

she used to rub the elongated soap in a very thorough manner

Funko
31-08-2006, 15:39:41
So she used to talk to you about prolonging sex whilst suggestivly rubbing the wall soap and you are trying to tell us she wasn't the kind of sexbomba we're all imagining? :eek:

paiktis22
31-08-2006, 15:45:05
jep
she was shy but very cute and very young.

paiktis22
31-08-2006, 15:48:46
i guess she was an inverted sexabomba

Funko
31-08-2006, 15:55:59
So, on the face of it she was shy, cute and young but secretly she was a teasing sexbomba, driving her pupils wild with lust?

paiktis22
31-08-2006, 15:58:07
JES! JES!

Funko
31-08-2006, 16:13:18
Funnily enough, that's exactly what we were thinking.

JM^3
31-08-2006, 16:43:34
Originally posted by paiktis22
THis reminds me our biology teacher at high school. She said that we can prolong our sexual pleasure if we trained the muscle that controls the release of sperm. She said it was the same as that which controls urine. So when we pissed she proposed that we stop pissing and start again, stop and start again. We tried to do it in our leasure but we couldn't enjoy the pissing with all this tough exercise so we abandoned it.

Wow, that is some biology teacher..

JM

paiktis22
31-08-2006, 17:54:15
Originally posted by Funko
Was there a problem with dropping the soap in a laboratory?


:lol:

i just read that one

Diss
02-09-2006, 18:51:29
Originally posted by paiktis22
THis reminds me our biology teacher at high school. She said that we can prolong our sexual pleasure if we trained the muscle that controls the release of sperm. She said it was the same as that which controls urine. So when we pissed she proposed that we stop pissing and start again, stop and start again. We tried to do it in our leasure but we couldn't enjoy the pissing with all this tough exercise so we abandoned it.

I wish I had biology teachers like that. Especially if they are hot, and have training sessions about controlling the release of sperm.

paiktis22
02-09-2006, 19:28:39
Then you would have loved the sexual education class: how to put on a condom. tried on a banana. sexual responsibility AND an instillment of preference for healthy food for the female populace. which in an irritating fashion acted like they had seen this before.

Diss
02-09-2006, 20:07:17
you'll never see any instruction on how to put on a condom in american sex ed classes. it's pathetic how uptight americans are. They barely even mention condoms exist.

Diss
02-09-2006, 20:08:00
But I'm getting off topic here. I don't want to detract from the fact that british men have small balls.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
02-09-2006, 20:32:26
Originally posted by Diss
american sex ed

Special ed's retarded cousin?

Cruddy
02-09-2006, 23:36:49
BUT... if you have large balls, that would make your penis look smaller.

Not so dumb, eh?

The Mad Monk
03-09-2006, 13:10:00
Originally posted by paiktis22
biology is fun!
(really i was getting 19 out of 20 all the time)

Teachers?

paiktis22
03-09-2006, 18:26:24
grades :(