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shagnasty
29-05-2006, 06:53:18
Hamlet have started putting almost mildly funny jokes on their cigar packets now, one of which follows hence.

Ahem....

Finding himself greeted by a lovely blonde in a supermarket, a man becomes rather befuddled, not knowing who she was. 'Don't you recognize me?' she said, 'You're the father of one my children!'
Desperately trying to guess who she could be, he started to stammer something about a drunken encounter on his stag night with a strip-o-gram.






She looked at him with a puzzled expression and said, 'No. I'm your son's English teacher.'


Badum-tish




:nervous:

shagnasty
29-05-2006, 07:23:05
And I also like the one that goes....

Smoking can damage the sperm and decrease fertility.

And then they tell me not to smoke when I'm pregnant. Ok then I won't.

MoSe
29-05-2006, 07:33:54
Hamlet cigarettes?????

I thought it was about Denmark...

shagnasty
29-05-2006, 08:28:13
nonono

:smoke:

MoSe
29-05-2006, 08:34:13
well, about Shakespeare's Hamlet, we have a classic joke:

the Bard is talking to a friend, asking him whether his language would be too obscure for the plebes
the friend replies: "I wouldn't say such arcane words"
Shakespeare: "the dog? who cares about the dog?"

this works in italian as "ar cane" is roman dialect for "al cane" = "to the dog", whence the friend's reply sounds also as "I wouldn't say such words to the dog"....

:nervous:

MoSe
29-05-2006, 08:35:52
btw, where's the link between the english teacher msiunderstanding and cigars???

DaShi
29-05-2006, 09:17:22
Why was Shakespeare speaking Italian?

MoSe
29-05-2006, 10:07:55
because we can't read subtitles

paiktis22
29-05-2006, 11:06:27
i've read this joke in playboy. ( i buy it for the articles)

Nav
29-05-2006, 12:33:09
yeah, like I buy beer to water the plants with!

MoSe
29-05-2006, 12:37:32
it can also be used for cooking and for facial beauty masks

anyway, how often do you need to beer plants?

Drekkus
29-05-2006, 13:00:35
What's so Hamlet about those jokes?

shagnasty
29-05-2006, 15:32:44
Hamlet's slogan was, and I'm presuming still is, "Happiness is a Hamlet cigar." Or something like that anyway.
They are comparing the pleasure of smoking one of their sticks to the immense relief you feel when you think you have had some really bad news then it turns out the news was very wrong inderdeed.