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JM^3
02-05-2006, 13:21:28
I know girls post here. My question:

What constitutes a cute butt? (on a guy)

I have heard that numerous times, and I just don't understand.

JM

Tizzy
02-05-2006, 13:28:09
It's all a matter of taste and opinion.

I'm confused why you "don't understand" though - surely there are girls who've had you thinking "nice ass" or something similar?
Girls think like that about guys too.

Venom
02-05-2006, 13:28:15
My god.......Someone should take the internet away from you.

JM^3
02-05-2006, 13:30:33
They already have :cry:

I know what a cute butt looks like on a girl, what does it look like on a guy?

JM

mr_G
02-05-2006, 13:31:43
Originally posted by Venom
My god.......Someone should take the internet away from you. :lol:

Japher
02-05-2006, 13:32:07
If you're not gay why does it matter?

JM^3
02-05-2006, 13:33:03
looks self improvment:
Lose Weight
Get muscle tone
See if I can get a cute butt, or a nice hairstyle, or nice legs (? I seem to remembering that girls can like guys legs.. ?)

pruchase new clothes

?what else would be good?

Jon Miller

Japher
02-05-2006, 13:35:09
get a big penis

JM^3
02-05-2006, 13:36:26
How does that attract girls?

Note, I don't want to be a 'playa'.

JM

mr_G
02-05-2006, 13:54:44
Originally posted by JM^3

?what else would be good? loads of money. jesjes

Nills Lagerbaak
02-05-2006, 13:54:49
Do you not have any "friends that are girls" that you can ask frank questions?

Venom
02-05-2006, 13:57:04
A big dick and big bankroll will score you any chick on the planet.

JM^3
02-05-2006, 14:00:06
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
Do you not have any "friends that are girls" that you can ask frank questions?

Not here. I don't really have any freinds here.

Jon Miller

mr_G
02-05-2006, 14:14:58
Originally posted by Venom
A big dick and big bankroll will score you any chick on the planet. - FACT!!!!!

Venom
02-05-2006, 14:16:39
And one or the other will score you 90% of the women on the planet.

mr_G
02-05-2006, 14:19:04
and good nice personality gets you to stare at the ceiling for the rest of you life.

maroule
02-05-2006, 14:29:51
if big dicks alone did the trick, it would be the senegalese garbage collectors getting all the action in Paris, not the short, fat investment bankers/TV producers.

mr_G
02-05-2006, 14:30:52
don't share your sexlife on this nice forum maroule

Venom
02-05-2006, 14:31:18
Bigus dickus got Ron Jeremy into the porn business. It can do a lot of things.

King_Ghidra
02-05-2006, 14:35:46
Originally posted by maroule
if big dicks alone did the trick, it would be the senegalese garbage collectors getting all the action in Paris, not the short, fat investment bankers/TV producers.

:lol:

King_Ghidra
02-05-2006, 14:36:43
As for the original question, just type "cute guy's butt" into google image and get your learning hand out

Nills Lagerbaak
02-05-2006, 14:39:29
Yes, be firm but fair.

Gary
02-05-2006, 14:53:46
blond hair ?!?

Darkstar
02-05-2006, 17:23:42
Originally posted by Venom
A big enough bankroll will score you any chick on the planet.

Fixed.

Ginfizwithatwist
02-05-2006, 18:03:34
Any bum that is compact,well toned, rounded and firmish to the touch inside a well fitting but not too tight pair of trousers can get a girls head to do 180 @90 mph any day of the week.

As for the big dick theory, well size isn't everything, its how you use it and what you do with it that matters, in fact a big dick can often be a turn off as, lets say it can be uncomfortable to accommodate...
Looks aren't everything you can have the most gorgeous guy in the world but if he can't make a girl laugh, and has no personality then forget it and of course the money issue, well to some girls its really important but then they prollly have a shallow selfish personality and thinks about themselves and his credit card more than his needs and their relationship.
I guess if you asked the average girl what she would look for it would be a nice looking fella with a good sense of humor who knows how to have a laugh and will treat you with respect and kindness.

needless to say I will prolly field a barrage of comments after this
but this is just my opinion for what it's worth.

Lazarus and the Gimp
02-05-2006, 18:06:16
And if your dick and arse make girls laugh, you're a winner three ways.

Lazarus and the Gimp
02-05-2006, 18:07:55
I could make girls laugh until they shoot bacardi out of their nostrils, but I seem to recall that they tended to keep their knickers on with tedious regularity.

JM^3
02-05-2006, 18:21:42
I am looking both to get into knickers and get into a relationship.

JM

JM^3
02-05-2006, 18:34:45
Well, I think I am funny. Others don't always get it though..

Jon Miller

Venom
02-05-2006, 18:44:45
Personality? BAH!

Bang them good and buy them goodies and you can treat them pretty shitty.

MDA
02-05-2006, 18:45:55
I think you're funny, but you're funniest when you don't intend to be (or when you pretend you don't intend... uh)

this thread, for instance :lol:

Koyaanisqatsi
02-05-2006, 18:49:09
I am looking both to get into knickers and get into a relationship.
Well, I think I am funny. Others don't always get it though..
.
.
.
Are you sure that's the problem?

LoD
02-05-2006, 18:56:47
Originally posted by JM^3
I am looking both to get into knickers and get into a relationship.

JM

Sorry if I appear to smartass, but you have to stop looking. Seriously, the worst thing to do while on the dating scene (in the broad sense of a term) is actually caring to find a partner. Because the girls can feel that. They're like wild animals - they can smell your fear.

Diss
02-05-2006, 20:12:18
long as it is well rounded and not wringkled, hairy, or saggy, I think that's all you need to have a nice ass.

A lot of white guys have flat asses. But I have a generous amount of fat down there. Probably too much. My weight all goes to certain areas. My gut and my ass. Not that I'm fat. I only weight 145 lbs.

But I think I have a nice ass. And as you all know, I do very well with the ladies.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
02-05-2006, 20:21:12
Originally posted by Ginfizwithatwist

I guess if you asked the average girl what she would look for it would be a nice looking fella with a good sense of humor who knows how to have a laugh and will treat you with respect and kindness.


They would definately say that.

But what do they really think?

Ginfizwithatwist
02-05-2006, 20:36:12
i am an average girl and thats what i really think!

MOBIUS
02-05-2006, 20:50:16
I have to say being attached is a great turn on for girls - get a girlfriend and they'll be beating your door down!:cool:

LoD
02-05-2006, 21:28:48
Originally posted by Ginfizwithatwist
i am an average girl and thats what i really think!

Perhaps Dyl's question should not be about thinking, but about doing.

Darkstar
02-05-2006, 21:48:18
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
I could make girls laugh until they shoot bacardi out of their nostrils, but I seem to recall that they tended to keep their knickers on with tedious regularity.

That is because you are hung like a horse, Laz. That's something girls like to goggle, but not to actually experience (well, not more then once). Now, if you were a fair bit smaller, you'd have seen a lot of knickers coming off...

Darkstar
02-05-2006, 22:10:52
Originally posted by Ginfizwithatwist
Looks aren't everything you can have the most gorgeous guy in the world but if he can't make a girl laugh, and has no personality then forget it and of course the money issue, well to some girls its really important but then they prollly have a shallow selfish personality and thinks about themselves and his credit card more than his needs and their relationship.
I guess if you asked the average girl what she would look for it would be a nice looking fella with a good sense of humor who knows how to have a laugh and will treat you with respect and kindness.

That's what they all say. But actual studies show that they want a good looking man with a fine tight ass, thick wallet (and bank account to keep it thick), slightly better at filling out a cod piece then most men, and with a keen intellect that is often displayed in making people laugh, and has zero respect for anything but their own raw power and capabilities.

Treating them well almost never in the actual list of women under 35. The studies say that younger women *prefer* to be treated like dirt, and it keeps them from feeling like they've "tamed" their stallion, and makes them feel all the much better when he occasionally treats them nicely.

As women grow beyond their early twenties, experiences and reality starts setting in. Slowly, they start changing what they seek in a partner. But they never stop looking for a powerful male that they can rein in and control. That's the basis of the bad boy appeal. "Sure, he's a mass murderer, mum, but he only hurts men, and he won't hurt no one but whom I point him at."

To sum up: they want--- Bond. James Bond. On a leash. Their leash.

Aren't government studies grand? Hard to imagine they'd spend my tax dollars on that when they could have done another study to conclude that the leading cause of divorce is marriage (another actual study! :tizzy: ).

Don't worry too much though. All you need to do is find one whose knees get weak at the hint of your musk. She'll find all those other qualities she thinks she likes in a man in you after that. That's what natural attraction studies show. If people like how someone naturally smells (not that washed/perfumed/deoderized smell), then they suddenly find someone much more attractive, and all their positive traits start "popping" and all their negative traits seem diminished. One quick impression which triggers a basic instintual response. Then people rationalized everything afterward. It's just how human brains work. We apply the logic after the decision. Isn't self-awareness just so wondorous?

Diss
02-05-2006, 22:44:04
I've actually thought about not showering for 3 days and going out and picking up women. It might actually work.

HelloKitty
03-05-2006, 00:53:01
Why didn't you just send Asher a PM John?


Don't lose hope, even Funko found a girl!

HelloKitty
03-05-2006, 00:53:43
Forgot to add the word HUMAN

JM^3
03-05-2006, 01:28:17
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Why didn't you just send Asher a PM John?


Don't lose hope, even Funko found a girl!

I think he gets annoyed with all the PMs I send him.

JM

JM^3
03-05-2006, 01:29:35
Originally posted by MDA
I think you're funny, but you're funniest when you don't intend to be (or when you pretend you don't intend... uh)

this thread, for instance :lol:

I view my life as performance art.

Jon Miller

devilmunchkin
03-05-2006, 02:25:54
it is all opinion. Some girls like round butts...some girls like little tiny butts and massive fronts. ;) Some girls don't care. It's alot like guys and boobs....all in preferance of the individual.

JM^3
03-05-2006, 03:09:23
I am sure that given a chance I would make a girl a perfectly lousy boyfriend.

JM

HelloKitty
03-05-2006, 03:10:07
You need a mail order bride.

JM^3
03-05-2006, 03:21:41
yes

Bobette from Saskatchewan.

JM

Diss
03-05-2006, 03:36:02
dammit, you are taking my job JM. I'm supposed to be the one to complain about these things. :)

I'll need a new online persona. Who should I be... hmmm. Maybe I'll be the annoying guy who complains about incorrect spelling. but that won't work since I can't spell myself.

JM^3
03-05-2006, 03:38:16
I haven't even hit on a girl for 6 months (because of all the work I have been having). I am getting frustrated.

If I am hitting on girls, on even a monthly basis, I feel a lot better about things.

Jon Miller

Venom
03-05-2006, 03:54:48
This thread has crossed into a bizzare and uncomfortable territory.

JM^3
03-05-2006, 03:56:49
Originally posted by Venom
This thread has crossed into a bizzare and uncomfortable territory.

ie, it is by me.

Jon Miller

JM^3
03-05-2006, 03:58:01
hitting on girls == chatting up girls == etc

Doesn't imply that I like their shoes.

JM

Diss
03-05-2006, 04:25:55
Originally posted by Venom
This thread has crossed into a bizzare and uncomfortable territory.

don't most threads here do that?

MOBIUS
03-05-2006, 08:33:34
I'd say the most bizzare and uncomfortable territory is when we actually have a normal thread...:eek:

Tizzy
03-05-2006, 08:43:19
We have bizarre so often it's almost normal.

King_Ghidra
03-05-2006, 08:55:24
Amen to that.

Venom
03-05-2006, 12:08:00
So you sick fuckers are comfortable with Jno Emmmer's sexual frustation and desire for a better ass?

JM^3
03-05-2006, 12:15:58
I am not.

JM

MoSe
03-05-2006, 12:19:23
"on even a monthly basis" ????

JM^3
03-05-2006, 12:21:57
I very rarely see girls right now.. if I see girls, and have the opportunity to chat them up, even just rarely, I am happier with life.

I don't think I have seen a girl for 20 hours.. And it has been a good deal longer than that since I talked to one, and it has been days (Weeks?) since I talked to one who wasn't a cashier or something.

Jon Miller

Venom
03-05-2006, 12:25:50
That's what you get for being a science nerd.

Greg W
03-05-2006, 12:28:36
JM. Or Jpon Mhillwaller if you prefer.

Know the best way to pull chicks?

Be... (wait for the drumroll)... yourself. In the end, a girl wants (or not) to go out with you, not you pretending to be someone else. Very few women want to go out with someone who's pretending to be someone they're not. And the ones that do, you're probably better off staying away from.

King_Ghidra
03-05-2006, 12:42:15
how painful to find myself thinking how sensible greg's answer was

MoSe
03-05-2006, 12:43:36
he became a bus driver to drive chicks around on his "big car"

maroule
03-05-2006, 13:00:42
Greg answer works well... except when you can't find a girl who likes you for what you are... which is precisely the type of person who will wonder how to catch girls in the first place...

Greg W
03-05-2006, 13:01:28
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
how painful to find myself thinking how sensible greg's answer was Any day I cause KG pain is a good one. :beer:

Funko
03-05-2006, 13:03:12
I think you meant to post that in Paiktis' masochism thread.

Greg W
03-05-2006, 13:05:56
Well, it works in either, Funko. :beer:
Originally posted by maroule
Greg answer works well... except when you can't find a girl who likes you for what you are... which is precisely the type of person who will wonder how to catch girls in the first place... Then he's looking in the wrong places.

Nills Lagerbaak
03-05-2006, 13:16:58
Yeah, leave no stone unturned...literally!

maroule
03-05-2006, 13:52:06
Originally posted by Greg W
Well, it works in either, Funko. :beer:
Then he's looking in the wrong places.


How you can still assume that there is someone for everyone after years of posting on CG is beyond me

Funko
03-05-2006, 13:54:23
Well you managed to get married so there's some hope for Jon.

maroule
03-05-2006, 13:56:25
I had to wait up until 33 years old
his balls will burst before then

Funko
03-05-2006, 13:57:32
Hang on... did you say 33 years old?!

So, this is you?

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/man-33-marries-woman-104/2006/05/03/1146335794619.html

maroule
03-05-2006, 14:04:57
it's not for the money, I swear

Gary
03-05-2006, 14:06:44
IMO Greg's answer only works if you want the relationship to last. Being oneself only helps 'pull' if what you project is what's being looked for. Otherwise it can just as easily be a handicap. Better to be at ease with the bluff you're pulling.

Greg W
03-05-2006, 14:39:15
From everything Jon has said on these forums, he ain't after anything casual. He's looking for something deep and long (and I'm waiting for someone to go to town on that) term. Thus my advice.

If all he was after was a root, then sure, go the fake thing.

Funko
03-05-2006, 14:40:30
The fake thing, aside from being a bit dubious, would be a lot harder to pull off.

Greg W
03-05-2006, 14:42:16
Originally posted by Funko
Well you managed to get married so there's some hope for Jon. If someone can marry a 33 year old cheese eating surrendur monkey, then Jon has hope. :beer:

Venom otoh... :gasmaske:

Greg W
03-05-2006, 14:42:52
Originally posted by Funko
The fake thing, aside from being a bit dubious, would be a lot harder to pull off. Especially for someone with Jon's lack of self confidence. Good point.

Venom
03-05-2006, 14:47:27
Yaaaaaaaay!!!!! I'm hopeless!!!!!

Lurker the Second
03-05-2006, 15:04:19
Originally posted by Ginfizwithatwist


needless to say I will prolly field a barrage of comments after this
but this is just my opinion for what it's worth.

Please read the forum rules. No opinions allowed here.

Japher
03-05-2006, 15:08:39
only assholes

which are like opinions
only state as facts
or something

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
03-05-2006, 15:31:45
Originally posted by Funko
The fake thing, aside from being a bit dubious, would be a lot harder to pull off.

So you think he has a better chance to pull off something deep and long?

MoSe
03-05-2006, 16:04:54
Originally posted by Lurker the Second
No opinions allowed here.

No opinions allowed here - FACT!

HelloKitty
03-05-2006, 17:51:28
If he had just allowed us to get him a hooker in NY he would have so much more confidence.

self biased
03-05-2006, 17:56:08
or mayme one of those midget waitresses from the st mark's pub...

devilmunchkin
03-05-2006, 19:22:27
i don't work at st. mark's pub ^ ^
and btw, good things usually come up when you arn't looking.

HelloKitty
03-05-2006, 20:47:57
Jon Miller, the 40 year old virgin without the ebay woman.

Venom
03-05-2006, 20:58:17
What do you know about a fine piece of man ass?

devilmunchkin
03-05-2006, 21:44:47
well, my current boyfriend has a very nice ass.

self biased
04-05-2006, 15:18:01
Originally posted by devilmunchkin
i don't work at st. mark's pub ^ ^
and btw, good things usually come up when you arn't looking.

you're just garden variety short. this girl was an honest-to-god little person. venom and oerdin can back me up on this.

King_Ghidra
04-05-2006, 15:46:15
a little person? like a pixie?

Venom
04-05-2006, 16:54:38
Oh yeah. I remember that girl now. She was slightly taller than your standard, regulation midget.

JM^3
04-05-2006, 17:00:05
a tall little person and a short normal person can be the same size

my sister hates it when the little people bother her to try and get her to join their group

I did see a little person working in Best Buy a month or so ago, she was really really small (and not formed right)

Jon Miller

Venom
04-05-2006, 17:05:53
And that turned you on, didn't it?

JM^3
04-05-2006, 17:18:27
Well, she was a girl...

Jon Miller
(no, not really)

(although it did make me think of midget porn)

Venom
04-05-2006, 17:43:43
Yep. You were ready to whip it out and start spanking it right in the store, weren't you?

JM^3
04-05-2006, 17:51:04
No, I am not really into midget porn.

JM

Diss
04-05-2006, 21:37:37
everbody is into midget porn. just no one admits it.

Darkstar
04-05-2006, 23:01:07
You know Jon, you should pick a hobby or church group or something that will make you go out an interact with people face to face. You'll get more of a chance to just hang out around gals, and that will raise your chances of getting into a relationship with one, if that is what you really want.

Greg W
05-05-2006, 01:07:09
Yep, that or a sports team. No idea how good he is at sports though.

Immortal Wombat
05-05-2006, 01:55:24
He's a physicist

Oerdin
05-05-2006, 02:38:05
Originally posted by Venom
A big dick and big bankroll will score you any chick on the planet.

Worked for Ron Jeremy.

http://press.comedycentral.com/images/press/gallery/h/comedy_central_original_films/porn_n_chicken/RonJeremy_JennaJameson.jpg

Oerdin
05-05-2006, 02:39:06
Seriously, old Ron just shows how things work. He's ugly, fat, and balding but he has a big dick and a fair amount of cash so women love him.

Venom
05-05-2006, 02:45:08
I already said the worked for Ron Jeremy thing.

Diss
06-05-2006, 20:41:54
could you post a bigger picture of Ron Jeremy?

Diss
06-05-2006, 20:44:54
not to threadjack this about myself (okay I will :)). but I have recently decided something.

I know I'm an awesome person. And it's the women's fault for not realizing how awesome I am. My friends tell me how great I am. My coworkers say the same thing. I treat people very well. If women are so stupid they don't want a guy who treats them well, then they don't deserve me. It's their loss. It used to bother me that women would rather stay with men who beat the crap out of them then go with me. But I realize I can't make other people smart. I can't tell people how to live their lives. They must make their own decisions in life.

Like I said. It's their loss.

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-05-2006, 07:17:23
Jno Mibuygfh~ did once post a photo of himself, and amazingly enough he did look a bit like a young Ron Jeremy.

DaShi
07-05-2006, 07:36:58
Originally posted by Diss
not to threadjack this about myself (okay I will :)). but I have recently decided something.

I know I'm an awesome person. And it's the women's fault for not realizing how awesome I am. My friends tell me how great I am. My coworkers say the same thing. I treat people very well. If women are so stupid they don't want a guy who treats them well, then they don't deserve me. It's their loss. It used to bother me that women would rather stay with men who beat the crap out of them then go with me. But I realize I can't make other people smart. I can't tell people how to live their lives. They must make their own decisions in life.

Like I said. It's their loss.

Duh, finally. ;)

JM^3
07-05-2006, 07:52:54
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Jno Mibuygfh~ did once post a photo of himself, and amazingly enough he did look a bit like a young Ron Jeremy.

That is almost enough for me to post another picture of myself.

JM
(besides being a bit fat, I don't see it)

(additionally, I don't have the huge wang, money, or moral fiber to be Ron)

Spartak@CPH
07-05-2006, 07:56:31
moral fiber?

lmf?

Greg W
07-05-2006, 09:30:28
LMFAO! :lol: