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Christoph
05-03-2006, 20:16:28
Shortish story about last friday night.

It was my mums birthday, so I decided to give my parents some money to go out for a meal, whilst I went to my brothers house to get drunk with my girlfriend.

My brother made plans that he forgot about however, so he went dancing with old ladies at some town hall thing, so I was home alone, I thought 'Great! Free house and my girlfriend is coming over!!' Yeah she couldn't come around because her dad was being an arse again, so I tried phoning people, none of which could get into penzance (where my brother lives), so I went to the skatepark.

Before hand though I got a bit drunk, so I got stopped by 3 armed police outside someones house. Luckily it had nothing to do with me drinking, they just told me to not skateboard in a residential area. Fair enough I suppose...

Anyway, I got to the skatepark and it was packed with drunk/stoned kids, most of which were throwing up all over the place. I had a good old skate with some guys I met last summer, one was constantly taking the piss so I pushed him into the skatebowl, much fun.

When at the skatepark, I did many illegal substances (I'm 17 right innit) and was a bit out of it. This was nearing 9ish, and I lost my lighter. I started to panic and was asking everyone if they had seen my lighter, and they all said no.

Fuck. I was now without a lighter for the rest of the night, and would be home alone sitting down watching the tv needing a ciggarette. So instead of doing that I asked some drunk chavvy girls if I could buy a lighter off of them, and the chavviest, drunkest one was like "yeah I've got a lighter, give me 50p and i'll give it to you" I thought 'fair deal, thats about their base value anyway'. So I gave her the money and she didn't give me the lighter. She was shouting about how she managed to steal 50p from me, and was having a right laugh, as you do in that situation...

She came to me 10 minutes later asking if I want the lighter, I replied 'yes' and she shouted, whilst spitting her vomity saliva all over my coat "WELL YOU CAN FUCK OFF". Charming young lady.
Anyway, I said i'd give her a quid for the lighter and the 50p, so she said ok. Somehow, she managed to get the money off of me without giving me the lighter.

She was again pissing herself, shouting to all of her drunk mates how she did it again and what a tit I was.
Just to give you a rough idea about how chavvy and drunk this 14 yearold girl was, one of my skate buddies said "that's not very fair, you could at least give him a kiss for it or something" :/
She replied "I'm not kissing him! I'll give him head but I'm not kissing him!"

Surely that's worse right?? Or is it just common practice in that communtiy?

Anyway, when she was doing all of this shouting and vomiting, she dropped her lighter, I picked it up, and she starts pushing me around demanding it back. I said 'ok'. I sparked it up in her face (I was out of it remember) and her hair caught fire!! Her mate poured a beer over her head to put it out and I legged it! I ran to my brothers house half a mile away as fast as I could, got there with a banging stich and relaxed. Got there just in time to watch the IT Crowd too :D

So the moral of the story is not to talk to drunk chavvy underage girls, they're robbin' bastards!

Immortal Wombat
05-03-2006, 20:57:06
*hums Rule Brittannia*

mr_G
05-03-2006, 21:21:02
:lol:

Chairman Yang
05-03-2006, 23:40:03
Originally posted by Christoph

When at the skatepark, I did many illegal substances


Hook a brotha up?

Luckily we dont have thieving chavs in this country. I did lend a hundred to a darkie once though, and never got it back. :(

BigGameHunter
06-03-2006, 04:50:22
Is the doorman taking the night off again?

I saw the premiere of "Skate Na Veia"
http://www.divx.com/movies/detail.php?movieID=123&cID=

the other night and had the pleasure of hanging out with @400 drunken skaters. Most were good humored and well behaved, but one charming lad had to be "escorted" (read, 'treated like a bum by an old, bitter, adult former charming lad') out the door bodily for pissing in the hallway of the movie theater.

Lovely...

Gary
06-03-2006, 09:00:17
Now let's see...

She says she'll give you a lighter for 50p and then takes your 50p but doesn't hand over the lighter.

She then says she'll give you the lighter and 50p back, for 1, and then takes your 1 but doesn't hand over the lighter, nor the 50p.

She then says she'll give you head.

Am I being suspicious or was she hoping you'd take her up on it ?

Christoph
06-03-2006, 18:47:25
:/

Venom
06-03-2006, 19:09:30
Summary?

Christoph
06-03-2006, 19:32:01
Read it

Darkstar
06-03-2006, 19:36:08
Summary:

Christoph got dumped/stood up by everyone he knows.
Christoph got bored.
Christoph got fucked up.
Christoph tried to get into the pants of a 14 year old year.
Christoph got mad at the girl and set her on fire.
Christoph ran home, cackling about how big a playa and a man he is.

You know, typical chav.

Christoph
06-03-2006, 19:40:25
Close

Christoph
06-03-2006, 19:40:53
14 year old year?

Darkstar
06-03-2006, 19:43:39
Just to give you a rough idea about how chavvy and drunk this 14 yearold girl was, one of my skate buddies said "that's not very fair, you could at least give him a kiss for it or something" :/
She replied "I'm not kissing him! I'll give him head but I'm not kissing him!"

Japher
06-03-2006, 19:45:03
well then

Immortal Wombat
06-03-2006, 19:45:16
Close.

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
06-03-2006, 20:23:19
Originally posted by Christoph
14 year old year?

C'mon, you know he's famed for quantity, not quality.