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paiktis22
27-02-2006, 20:23:02
Now here's the deal.
Do girls have a "I have to get married cause I turned 30" attitude?

paiktis22
27-02-2006, 20:23:33
oh, a good friend of mine reported that this is not the case in sweden, so scabby if you please.

Gary
27-02-2006, 22:25:23
I don't think they all feel that way, but many will realise time is gradually running out, if they want to be a parent.

devilmunchkin
27-02-2006, 22:34:04
kinda....maybe....
this thread scares me

Greg W
27-02-2006, 23:46:54
A lot of women seem to get scared by turning 30. They suddenly feel like they have to accomplish all those things they haven't done before. Not all however.

Drekkus
27-02-2006, 23:50:31
Originally posted by paiktis22
oh, a good friend of mine reported that this is not the case in sweden, so scabby if you please. :lol:
What, planning on moving?

Greg W
28-02-2006, 00:03:11
So let me get this straight. In other countries, Girls turn 30 and get married. In Sweden, they turn 30 and get scabby? :hmm:

Oerdin
28-02-2006, 01:42:36
Originally posted by paiktis22
Now here's the deal.
Do girls have a "I have to get married cause I turned 30" attitude?

Judging by the vaste numbers of 30 year old women who sign up for Match.com I'd say yes.

HelloKitty
28-02-2006, 02:29:37
Nope. Still unmarried and in my 30s. No panic at all.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
28-02-2006, 03:48:17
Wait til you turn 35.

Scabrous Birdseed
28-02-2006, 08:54:12
Originally posted by paiktis22
oh, a good friend of mine reported that this is not the case in sweden, so scabby if you please.

It is and it's not. There's no pressure in Sweden to get married if you want to have kids, stay together for a long time etc. A large amount of people have kids together years before marriage with no social stigma whatsoever, it's more common than the other way around in fact.

On the other hand it's generally considered a big and fun party that people will do when and if they can afford the time, money and effort. There's still the "little girl dreaming of fairytale wedding" thing going on. So a lot of people over thirty WILL feel pressure towards getting married, not so much for the marriage as for the ceremony.

Gary
28-02-2006, 08:59:46
It's less of a stigma here too, now-a-days. There was a published stat about the percentage of kids born out of wedlock here, recently. Can't recall the exact figure, think it was more than 50% though. However be a single mum from a relationship that was never going to be permanent in the first place, and the disapproval remains.

Greg W
28-02-2006, 09:35:06
I wonder just how low that 50% would drop if you took out the lower class(es)?

Scabrous Birdseed
28-02-2006, 09:36:38
I would have thought working-class people were more likely to get married than vice versa.

DaShi
28-02-2006, 09:36:49
In China, 25 seems to be the age when most women start husband hunting. I've experienced this firsthand. :(

MoSe
28-02-2006, 10:02:52
Originally posted by Gary
It's less of a stigma here too, now-a-days.

It is bouncing back as a serious stigma here again, because the rightwing regime imposed by a crazy dictator wannabe and the church led by a german theocratic pope are oppressing the country's consciences.

I think in April general elections I'll vote for a transexual campaigning for gay marriages.

Scabrous Birdseed
28-02-2006, 10:14:03
Voting PRC again?

Drekkus
28-02-2006, 10:23:59
Scabby formulated the exact same situation as it is in Holland. And indeed more educated people are less likely to get married before having kids.

Gary
28-02-2006, 10:41:36
MoSe just looking out for his own interests again

Funko
28-02-2006, 10:44:25
Originally posted by Drekkus
Scabby formulated the exact same situation as it is in Holland. And indeed more educated people are less likely to get married before having kids.

It's funny here it's either the more educated or the classic unmarried teenage mums.

MoSe
28-02-2006, 10:49:05
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Voting PRC again?
was that a wild shot or are you indeed well documented about the italian political scene?

for the records, last time I refused to vote, and I intended that as a wakeup call for the disgusting left wing we had.

Now the left wing is even more pahetic than 5 years ago, but I'll pinch my nose, it's a call to arms, if Berlusconi gets another term I think democracy in Italy will be under serious and clear threat. Should the right really have to win I'd prefer Fini who's at least a correct politician albeit a former fascist.

I overheard on TV last night a Berlusconi speech at a session of his party. "Do you know that for the COMMUNISTS the marriage is merely a convenient economic bound to give stability to a couple within the society? They hold for trash our belief that marriage is the sacred union between a MAN and a WOMAN as nature dictates for breeding and raising children to our values!!! Do you wanna relinquish this country in the hands of the COMMUNISTS, or do you you want to uphold our SACRED VALUE OF THE FAMILY!?!?!?!"

This is not a joke.
I am seriously considering the eventuality of seeking work abroad.

Drekkus
28-02-2006, 11:02:35
Originally posted by Funko
It's funny here it's either the more educated or the classic unmarried teenage mums. Of course you have single teenage mums here as well. But as far as couples go, getting married is just incredibly expensive. In the more educated circles, a good marriage with a dinner and a party can easily set you back 25.000 euro. Not everyone wants to spent that kind of money on a one day fest, or has parents who will. So they postpone and start on the important things first, having kids.

Funko
28-02-2006, 11:20:03
Yeah, same here.

*End Is Forever*
28-02-2006, 11:50:12
Gary, the figure was 40%.

Oerdin
28-02-2006, 11:58:40
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Nope. Still unmarried and in my 30s. No panic at all.

Aren't you gay?

MoSe
28-02-2006, 12:00:46
when she'll pass 35 she'll give a sigh of relief

Scabrous Birdseed
28-02-2006, 12:08:23
There was an article about Prodi's problems in keeping his proposed coalition together in the newspaper the other day. They mentioned the fact that the PRC were topping with a transexual candidate which some of the catholic parties didn't like.

MoSe
28-02-2006, 12:22:51
his 'name' is Vladimir Luxuria, a must vote!
:lol:

Gary
28-02-2006, 13:50:44
Cheers, End.

Tsk, made me check - quite right, not 50% after all. 42% (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4733330.stm) :)

Ah well my memory was always prone to forgetting things. Still, that's a lot of bastards !

paiktis22
28-02-2006, 14:32:09
Well I am in kind of shock because of the unbelievable angst and speed the girl I was with wanted to get married. We were together for 2 months. That's not a lot. And we were breaking up and making up all the time. So not the most stable of relationships. She was full of giving in a rather stressful, full of anxiety way. Expensive gifts, weekends at her holiday house etc etc. She also got her parents way too involved in all of this, at least that was my feeling.
As a prime and totally terrorizing example, I was to take her to her summer house where she wanted to have sex then and there. She bought the sheets and she saw them to her mother to ask her if she liked them. She told her dad to not go to the summer house because she wanted to go with me. And she asked her mother to clean it before we went. I told her that all of these made me very uncomfortable. However as a cherry on the top of the cake, as I was going to get her from her house to drive us to the summer house she asked me to come upstairs and say hello to her parents. I did not. I was going to take her to have sex in the summer house and was going to say hello to the parents before hand?
Full of examples like that and full of expensive gifts.
And then breaking up and up and up and making up and up and up. And little phrases like "I don't want to waste time" to the maximum thrill "I want a kid a year from now".
Now for me, marriage, kids, that's not a deterrent. I'm open to it, if it comes. She also wanted to start living together, on her appartment that was above the appartment of her parents.
That is not how I picture "living together".
The break up point was that due to work I will probably have to go away for a bit from Athens for something very important but not permanent. Her responce was to break up (again).
She justified her responce by saying that she has no time to waste, that she doesn't trust me and doesn't trust this relationship, that I was in a advantageous position compared to her and that having along distance relationship would be not what she wanted because a)it's a waste of time and b) it will give her pain to think where I am every minute of the day.
I replied that people who live together can be miles apart and people who are for a small time living away from eachother can be closer than anyone. I could be coming back to Athens every weekend.
But she was final. She asked me not to call her not even once so that she can break up more easily.
I'm baffled and confused at the cruelty with which she handled her emotions. She also had some psychosomatic pains the last few years, I can't help but think that was because she didn't live the way she wanted but she bowed down to social pressure, be that from her mother, her friends who were teasing her for not finding someone to marry etc.
I do understand the way she felt about getting married and about the age but I can't accept that there is a book of rules about life, you follow it and everything is supposed to go as planned. I believe life is full of surprises and an adventure with uncertain end and the only thing that really counts in all of this is love. I was accused of being a romantic and I was left.
I have resolved in not calling her. Not so much out of respect for her but rather because I can't offer her what she wants. 24 hour attention and the guarantee of a happy marriage.

Funko
28-02-2006, 14:36:31
I was going to take her to have sex in the summer house and was going to say hello to the parents before hand?

What's wrong with that? As long as they didn't suggest positions or something...

But I think that if you don't want to marry her and that's what she wants the relationship's not going to go anywhere...

paiktis22
28-02-2006, 14:39:44
We were together for 2 turbulent weeks at that time. I already knew her parents. It felt very awkward: "Hello. I'm here to take your daughter and have sex with her. Well see you"!

Is it only me that feels that way?

Chris
28-02-2006, 14:42:45
Its a greek thing, I have heard this before, they want hubby providers.

MoSe
28-02-2006, 14:44:41
depends.

did the father have a loaded rifle in his hands?

paiktis22
28-02-2006, 14:56:15
Originally posted by Chris
hubby providers.

What does this mean?

paiktis22
28-02-2006, 14:58:57
Originally posted by MoSe
depends.

did the father have a loaded rifle in his hands?

No. I think I was judged a "catch" by the whole family. Although I still think that girl had insecurities the size of everest. Who doesn't. I'm not pointing fingers. And maybe somehow I exaggerated these feelings. But there was a similar pattern of wanting to marry then running away before she met me.
I was also taken aback by something she said before we were together. That she knew that she would get married, her husband would cheat on her and she wanted to be independent so she would raise the child. I told her she was wrong to be so certain about that. That it didn't make any sense, to me at least.

Oerdin
28-02-2006, 15:07:03
The chick is nuts. Find a new one.

Gary
28-02-2006, 15:28:21
Seems like she has major issues. On the one hand, a need to conform, marriage, kids etc.. Whilst on the other hand a need to remain able to make her own decisions about sex and so on. She may even not want a husband, so much as a father for her future child.

This does not seem stable enough to rush into. You need to make that perfectly clear.

Consider not having sex with someone who is not appearing to be too stable in her decisions. It would be unfair to her to imply you are interested in rushing into something permanent, and it would be unfair to you to find yourself a father when you were just expecting the occasional quick tumble.

Either save yourself the hassle and get out, or take it much more slowly on a friendship level until she has sorted herself out. Depending on your personal hopes for the future.

Drekkus
28-02-2006, 15:31:59
You seem to attract really weird women, Paiktis.

Chris
28-02-2006, 15:45:29
Originally posted by paiktis22
What does this mean? They want you to make the money and take care of her.

HelloKitty
28-02-2006, 18:59:12
Originally posted by Oerdin
Aren't you gay?

I would make a joke, but its better to


OWN GOAL

this one hard.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
28-02-2006, 19:22:58
:brwncard: