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JM^3
18-01-2006, 16:59:51
So last night I decided that I would try to cook at home.

So I went to Walmart (evil evil place.. I got chills from just being in there and despite how easy it is I don't think I will be back) and got some food and shower rings (so I can put up a shower curtain) and dishwasher soap (I have a dishwasher, WOOT).

Once a pot was clean I filled it full of water and put it on the stove and turned it on. After a bit I realised I heard a noise and smelled something? Looking at the water it wasn't boiling, in fact it didn't even seem warm!

I looked under the pot and saw no flame! Quickly I turned off the stove, turned on the hood fan and the overhead fan and opened the window. Then I left the apartment fearing the effects of gas. After stopping at a couple places I got a candle lighter from Walgreens. Upon returning to the apartment I went to the stove and started looking for a place to light it (as soon as I entered the apartment I lit the candle lighter (one of those long handled ones) and continued to light it as I walked towards the kitchen). I even tried just sticking the tip of the candle lighter under the pot.

It was then I notived that the grill was obviously that of an electric stove...

current score =
Jon Miller 154300
Darwin 0

Jon Miller
(the pasta tasted good)

King_Ghidra
18-01-2006, 17:05:16
eerily reminiscent of when nils lagerbaak put an electric kettle on a hob, the fool

Funko
18-01-2006, 17:07:36
:lol:

Venom
18-01-2006, 17:13:39
Just when you think you've heard the last of Noj Mriell, he strikes again.

MattHiggs
18-01-2006, 17:33:02
:lol:

Fantastic!

Gary
18-01-2006, 17:38:50
:)

Japher
18-01-2006, 17:44:47
Episode 5!

Japher
18-01-2006, 17:45:59
The Jon Miller Experience

1 Getting a ticket for expire plates
2 The court room
3 The Liquor Store
4 The Party
5 Cleaning the kitchen; trying to light an electric stove
6 Getting stuck at his office because the door is broken, turns out the little push thingy is just stuck
7 Losing his moon roof on the interstate

Japher
18-01-2006, 17:49:12
I don't remember what the clean the kitchen thing was about, but I think it was after the party... maybe something about how he always cleans and there was something on the ceiling?

Immortal Wombat
18-01-2006, 17:53:48
You should've kept links

JM^3
18-01-2006, 17:53:48
There is still soap on the ceiling..

I need to deal with it before I can have a chance to get back any of my deposit on my old place ($750).

Jon Miller

Venom
18-01-2006, 17:54:28
But at least he has a dishwasher now!

Japher
18-01-2006, 17:56:15
the dishwasher will be a matter of contention in no time... I can see it now, "I used washing machine soap, ALL. Turns out that soap is for the washing machine that washes clothes.."

Lurker the Second
18-01-2006, 18:14:12
I did that fairly recently. What a mess.

JM^3
18-01-2006, 18:15:40
Originally posted by Japher
the dishwasher will be a matter of contention in no time... I can see it now, "I used washing machine soap, ALL. Turns out that soap is for the washing machine that washes clothes.."

Almost happened. Luckily I saw one down the isle that said to use on dishes.

Jon Miller

Venom
18-01-2006, 18:22:48
Originally posted by Lurker the Second
I did that fairly recently. What a mess.

You have senility as an excuse.

Lurker the Second
18-01-2006, 18:49:24
Maybe, but in this case it was someone else's house and they put their laundry detergent under the kitchen sink. That makes no sense to me.

JM^3
18-01-2006, 18:50:11
:lol:

KK<

Venom
18-01-2006, 19:02:49
Hmmm, a fair point. Who the fuck would put laundry detergent under the sink?

Japher
18-01-2006, 19:05:49
some who has a clothes washer in the kitchen

HelloKitty
18-01-2006, 19:31:07
Originally posted by Japher
The Jon Miller Experience

1 Getting a ticket for expire plates
2 The court room
3 The Liquor Store
4 The Party
5 Cleaning the kitchen; trying to light an electric stove
6 Getting stuck at his office because the door is broken, turns out the little push thingy is just stuck
7 Losing his moon roof on the interstate

You missed the most recent one. Where the guy he sublet to dropped out because the apartment was too filthy.

Followed by the explaination by his roomate of the fact that he actually had found a nest of "carpet beetles" (specal word for roaches) living in his mattress.

Japher
18-01-2006, 19:36:04
it has been added

sadly, I keep a file on this stuff

Venom
18-01-2006, 19:37:13
That is sad.

JM^3
19-01-2006, 01:37:22
I don't think you have everything correct Japher.. (might be missing one also)

for one thing I didn't have expired plates, I had the sticker on the front license plate instead of the back one

Jon Miller
(important because the police officer said that he wouldn't give me a ticket if I changed plates right there.. I said I didn't have the equpiment to do so and went and parked (hundred feet away), as I was leaving my car I remembered that I had a screwdriver in the trunk.. I then went and changed the license plates)

Japher
19-01-2006, 02:02:31
Jon, I remembered that. That list is just a quick reference list.

The whole having the screwdriver and then all the crap that befalls you afterwards is what is funny.... in a not funny way, of course.

Funko
19-01-2006, 08:54:33
Originally posted by Venom
Hmmm, a fair point. Who the fuck would put laundry detergent under the sink?

Ours is under the sink because the washing machine is built into the cupboard next to the sink.

In fact it goes:

Washing Machine - Sink - Dishwasher

The dishwasher tablets are in there too.

Lurker, if you ever come to stay please be a lazy slob and don't try and help with dishes or anything.

Drekkus
19-01-2006, 10:13:42
Originally posted by Japher
The Jon Miller Experience

1 Getting a ticket for expire plates
2 The court room
3 The Liquor Store
4 The Party
5 Cleaning the kitchen; trying to light an electric stove
6 Getting stuck at his office because the door is broken, turns out the little push thingy is just stuck
7 Losing his moon roof on the interstate You forgot the driving the golf cart episode.

Rodgers
19-01-2006, 11:46:18
You've got enough for a BBC series at least.

Tizzy
19-01-2006, 11:47:19
We are sooo taking a video camera to NY.

Funko
19-01-2006, 11:49:59
We don't have one but someone should take one.

MoSe
19-01-2006, 11:59:32
please take a bluetooth webcam and feed us live

Venom
19-01-2006, 13:38:31
Originally posted by Funko
Ours is under the sink because the washing machine is built into the cupboard next to the sink.

In fact it goes:

Washing Machine - Sink - Dishwasher

The dishwasher tablets are in there too.

Lurker, if you ever come to stay please be a lazy slob and don't try and help with dishes or anything.

So the answer to my question is Retards. Figures.

Funko
19-01-2006, 13:46:02
Fax you.

Japher
19-01-2006, 13:54:07
Venom just doesn't undertand why people use soap.

Funko
19-01-2006, 13:58:03
You don't have to wash up pizza boxes.

Tizzy
19-01-2006, 14:06:15
Originally posted by Venom
So the answer to my question is Retards. Figures.

Well, where else would they be kept?

Rodgers
19-01-2006, 14:11:29
Originally posted by Tizzy
Well, where else would they be kept?


In a waterproof bag in the dishwasher/washing machine?

Funko
19-01-2006, 14:11:59
:lol:

Venom
19-01-2006, 14:16:16
I suppose then the greater question is, why the hell would your washer and dryer be in the kitchen....

And the answer is terrible design. We're talking worse than Mr G level of design.

Japher
19-01-2006, 14:17:28
I suppose then the greater question is, why the hell would your washer and dryer be in the kitchen....

And the answer is terrible design.

Says the man who has to leave the trailer to pee.

KrazyHorse@home
19-01-2006, 14:17:34
Originally posted by Tizzy
We are sooo taking a video camera to NY.

:lol:

Wait. I'm going to be sharing a hotel room with him.

:nervous:

Nills Lagerbaak
19-01-2006, 14:18:19
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
eerily reminiscent of when nils lagerbaak put an electric kettle on a hob, the fool

Easy mistake to make, I had just come back from holiday where we were boiling water in a kettle on the hob every day!

Venom
19-01-2006, 14:19:23
Originally posted by Japher
Says the man who has to leave the trailer to pee.

x-fear :shoot:

And I piss in the sink.

Lurker the Second
19-01-2006, 14:23:30
That's one way to get the dishes clean.

Funko
19-01-2006, 14:25:26
Originally posted by Venom
I suppose then the greater question is, why the hell would your washer and dryer be in the kitchen....

And the answer is terrible design. We're talking worse than Mr G level of design.

Because it's a flat/apartment that only has kitchen, living room, bathroom and 2 bedrooms.

Which room should it go in?

Anyway the dryer is under the stairs.

Funko
19-01-2006, 14:25:50
Originally posted by Venom
x-fear :shoot:

And I piss in the sink.

You are drekkus

Venom
19-01-2006, 14:40:46
Originally posted by Funko
Because it's a flat/apartment that only has kitchen, living room, bathroom and 2 bedrooms.

Which room should it go in?

Anyway the dryer is under the stairs.

So the washer and dryer are seperate? More retardedness! You have to lug wet clothes across the flat to get to the dryer?

Funko
19-01-2006, 14:43:53
Yeah, that is retarded.

Japher
19-01-2006, 14:47:10
very

I use to live in a place that had to hook the washer up to the sink in the garage (old school), but then the 220Volt outlet was on the other side of the garage.

it sucked

Tizzy
19-01-2006, 15:20:24
The washer is actually a washer dryer but we don't have any instructions on how to use the dryer bit.
And besides, it takes less time to do lots of washing if you've got 2 machines.

MoSe
19-01-2006, 15:31:00
Originally posted by Funko
Because it's a flat/apartment that only has kitchen, living room, bathroom and 2 bedrooms.

Which room should it go in?

Anyway the dryer is under the stairs.

Stairs?
then it's not "flat" !!!

Which room? It "should" obviously go in the bathroom. Maybe it "can't" go there if it's cramped mr.G style. "Can't" doesn't mean it "shouldn't".
:p

Dryer?
we had a german AEG washing machine with 2 separate bins (...drums? tumblers?) for washing a drying, mounted in the same metal chassis, we had it since before I was born.
It lasted ~35years.
When it finally gave in (assistance refused to touch it, we tried with custom-made rubber drains and pipes, but had to give up eventually), only the eldest shop owners remembered when washer models did not have the dryer funcion embedded in the same washing bin....

Separate dryer is industrial archeology!

Nills Lagerbaak
19-01-2006, 15:31:46
Surely trial and error will solve that one! It's easy to work the dryer part, it's part of a cycle isn't it, anyway?

Tizzy
19-01-2006, 15:33:11
You'd think so

Japher
19-01-2006, 15:33:13
Manufacturerererers these days put equipment manuals on the internets so that if you lose yours you can print off another one whenever you want.

What is the make and model of your washer/dryer?

Funko
19-01-2006, 15:37:21
Washing machine in the bathroom?! WTF?

Seperate dryer does mean you can do twice as much washing in the same time period - fact.

They are also totally normal. The dryers built into washing machines tend to suck.

Here's a bunch of new ones you can buy:

http://www.comet.co.uk/comet/html/cache/51.html

MoSe
19-01-2006, 15:39:47
Originally posted by Tizzy
The washer is actually a washer dryer but we don't have any instructions on how to use the dryer bit.
And besides, it takes less time to do lots of washing if you've got 2 machines.

???

are we talking of the same thing?

By us the "dryer" function of a washer means that it "centrifugates" the moisture with fast spinning at the end of the cycle, it takes 2-3 minutes at most.

Or are you talking about hot air fans or something?
In such case, we have that technology embedded in some fancy laundry hangers, nothing to do with the washer itself

or do you just intend a trivial laundry hanger?

Venom
19-01-2006, 15:40:18
No one is saying you're retarded for having two machines. Specialized machines definitely work better. You're just retarded for having the two related machines in different areas.

Tizzy
19-01-2006, 15:41:29
That's only because there's no space in the kitchen for the dryer

Funko
19-01-2006, 15:42:29
OK.

Yes, the washing machine has an inbuilt spin dryer which is the moisture centrifuge.

It also has an in built tumble dryer (heat based dryer) function which we don't know how to operate.

But we have a seperate tumble dryer as well.

And also the simple laundry hangers.

Honestly, it's like a clothes washing paradise in our flat.

:nervous:

Venom
19-01-2006, 15:45:29
Originally posted by Tizzy
That's only because there's no space in the kitchen for the dryer

Oh there's space. You don't need a kitchen table.

Tizzy
19-01-2006, 15:52:16
There's no table in the kitchen. And there really is no space.

Funko
19-01-2006, 15:53:00
Ask zmama.

Japher
19-01-2006, 15:53:34
stack one on top of the other

Funko
19-01-2006, 15:54:24
It's built into the kitchen, above it is a worksurface and above that cupboards.

MoSe
19-01-2006, 15:54:39
Originally posted by Funko
Washing machine in the bathroom?! WTF?

Seperate dryer does mean you can do twice as much washing in the same time period - fact.

They are also totally normal. The dryers built into washing machines tend to suck.


:lol: different cultures! OTOH, you don't have bidets....

In Italy 90% of the washers are in bathrooms (AFAIK), unless it's too cramped. Well-off flats have two bathrooms and it goes in the secondary one. We then hang laundry on a telescopic hanger fitted above the tub.

We only know about washing facilities in basements from american movies.
Of course most people I know live in flats with livingroom, kitchen 1 (or more) [bed]rooms, 1 (or 2) bathrooms.
Houses/villas with plenty of alternate/dedicate room are the exception.

____

HOW LONG do your dryers take for their task?
I repeat, as by us the machine dryers are centrifugal, we're talking about average 2 hours washing cycle vs. at most 5 minutes drying cycle.
Using separate machines allows you to complete 2 loads in 3h55' instead of 4h

___
x-post protection: work interrupted me :cute:

paiktis22
19-01-2006, 15:57:13
i took out the bidet to put in the bathroom the washing machine!
do i want a clean ass or clean clothes

paiktis22
19-01-2006, 15:57:49
We only know about washing facilities in basements from american movies.
Of course most people I know live in flats with livingroom, kitchen 1 (or more) [bed]rooms, 1 (or 2) bathrooms.
Houses/villas with plenty of alternate/dedicate room are the exception


true true.
and thats a reason i enjoy american movies

Lurker the Second
19-01-2006, 15:57:54
Washers and dryers ...... you people are way too fixated on cleanliness.

MoSe
19-01-2006, 16:07:41
all you need is a shower
you have one suit you never take it off, not for washing nor for drying

JM^3
19-01-2006, 16:33:59
in my old place we had a washer and dryer in the basement...

it was 1 dollar to wash, and 1 dollar to get your clothes only damp.. (2 to get them dryish)

Jon Miller

paiktis22
19-01-2006, 16:36:49
a friend got locked up for the night at a dryer place in belgium. (automatic locks) that was funny. the police had to bust him out.

HelloKitty
19-01-2006, 16:43:14
Originally posted by MoSe
:lol: different cultures! OTOH, you don't have bidets....

In Italy 90% of the washers are in bathrooms (AFAIK), unless it's too cramped. Well-off flats have two bathrooms and it goes in the secondary one. We then hang laundry on a telescopic hanger fitted above the tub.

We only know about washing facilities in basements from american movies.
Of course most people I know live in flats with livingroom, kitchen 1 (or more) [bed]rooms, 1 (or 2) bathrooms.
Houses/villas with plenty of alternate/dedicate room are the exception.

____

HOW LONG do your dryers take for their task?
I repeat, as by us the machine dryers are centrifugal, we're talking about average 2 hours washing cycle vs. at most 5 minutes drying cycle.
Using separate machines allows you to complete 2 loads in 3h55' instead of 4h

___
x-post protection: work interrupted me :cute:

4 hours? for two loads? :boggle:

Welcome to the dark ages.

Rodgers
19-01-2006, 17:00:44
Oh the mystique of international washing

Venom
19-01-2006, 17:02:12
Just when I thought we would truly be a unified world, this has to get in the way.

Rodgers
19-01-2006, 17:03:50
We need a UN Washing Commission to sort out a global washing strategy.

Funko
19-01-2006, 17:06:00
Let's get women back out onto the river banks washing clothes on stones.

Nills Lagerbaak
19-01-2006, 17:08:16
Yes, yes, but then we'll need to employ maids to cook (given the average time it'll take most women to walk to the river)

Funko
19-01-2006, 17:09:07
Why do you need to cook? Isn't there a Macdonalds near you?

Rodgers
19-01-2006, 17:10:05
Yeah, next to the laundrette

Nills Lagerbaak
19-01-2006, 17:10:18
I aint eating that shit. Not when there are plenty of well trained women to cook me healthy food!

MoSe
19-01-2006, 17:13:51
Originally posted by HelloKitty
4 hours? for two loads? :boggle:

Welcome to the dark ages.

The old german AEG took less than 1 hour for most programs. The faster if you fed it directly with hot water instead of letting it heating it.

We realised that MODERN washers are too politically correct, in the sense that they respect the environment with low-energy consumption cycles and the clothes with low-fiber consumption slow movements....

It has been hard to adapt to wash a standard 60C cotton, whites or resistant dye fabrics program in 150' instead of 50', the price of "modernity" (and we chose one of the most advanced models).

The gentle "easy ironing" cycle for shirts, SHORT option + 400rpm centrif takes only 45' tho
Wool coldwater program takes 75'

Nills Lagerbaak
19-01-2006, 17:15:15
Lamest thread ever. I feel compelled to start a thread about meat and fighting.

Venom
19-01-2006, 17:16:53
Keep working on the misogynistic angle. That's more manly.

MoSe
19-01-2006, 17:24:13
where's the thread???

ah, I saw it, but why hide it in the secret forum?

Nills Lagerbaak
19-01-2006, 17:24:24
True, very true. Ugh

paiktis22
19-01-2006, 17:33:46
oh mandy

devilmunchkin
19-01-2006, 20:51:33
i have a dishwasher too....it's called my boyfriend :)

Japher
19-01-2006, 21:10:21
harhar

what do you do when the dishwasher breaks?
hit her

mr.G
19-01-2006, 21:41:57
:lol: @ thread

pleez maaaik ask for an autograph.