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King_Ghidra
13-01-2006, 15:13:43
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A. S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish partice beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm
going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)
As*shole.

(Gary)
B*tch

(Rebecca)
F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.

(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one

Funko
13-01-2006, 15:16:09
I've read that before. Classic though. :D

Tizzy
13-01-2006, 15:18:07
The last line really makes it :lol:

Drekkus
13-01-2006, 15:19:42
summary?

King_Ghidra
13-01-2006, 15:21:23
venom and kory go to writing class

Japher
13-01-2006, 15:23:10
something about tea and whores

Gary
13-01-2006, 15:47:00
Who is which again ?

Funko
13-01-2006, 15:49:48
MrT and the whores - picture exclusive pages 5, 6,7,8,9,10

Caligastia
13-01-2006, 15:55:22
Good one. :lol:

Drekkus
13-01-2006, 16:11:06
:lol: Ok, read it. That is brilliant. Most probably not real, but very funny though.

MoSe
13-01-2006, 17:05:16
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
venom and kory go to writing class

:eek:

did you just call Kory "self-centered tedious neurotic air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels"

:lol:

I'll go get some tea
:D

Chris
13-01-2006, 22:39:44
Not bad.

JM^3
13-01-2006, 23:14:10
is this a freshman class?

they seem the extremes of sterotypes

JM

KrazyHorse@home
13-01-2006, 23:17:03
This is completely unrealistic. Any real man would have either killed or fucked (or both) Laurie in the second paragraph, not waited for the fourth.

JM^3
13-01-2006, 23:34:00
note that the woman quit first

JM

HelloKitty
14-01-2006, 02:21:31
iirc that is one of the short sroties in Emily and Joey Corneau's new book.

He writes lots of stuff like that.

RedFred
14-01-2006, 06:36:20
Whoops. My laughing woke up my fiancee.

Chris
15-01-2006, 05:30:32
Did he like it also?

RedFred
15-01-2006, 08:40:51
Oh yeah? Well, Hwang Woo-suck.

Greg W
15-01-2006, 13:15:37
That's so old I fell off my Dinosaur the first time I read it. Wonder if it's an urban myth or not... :)

God, it's almost 9 years old (http://www.snopes.com/college/homework/writing.asp). :eek: And a fake. :p

Still funny mind you. :)

King_Ghidra
16-01-2006, 09:32:20
of course it's a fucking fake :rolleyes: god help me

Drekkus
16-01-2006, 10:24:49
OK, I will.

Funko
16-01-2006, 10:26:13
Wait, this is a fake?!!! :eek:

Chris
16-01-2006, 10:44:08
Now you have killed Funko's faith in the internet, he will never believe anything again, you meanies!

Drekkus
16-01-2006, 10:51:10
Originally posted by KrazyHorse@home
This is completely unrealistic. Any real man would have either killed or fucked (or both) Laurie in the second paragraph, not waited for the fourth. In the second paragraph he states that he already did that a year ago

Greg W
16-01-2006, 10:56:16
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
of course it's a fucking fake :rolleyes: god help me :lol:

Well, I got someone believing me anyway. :D

KrazyHorse@home
16-01-2006, 11:00:12
Originally posted by Drekkus
In the second paragraph he states that he already did that a year ago

Doesn't count. He merely refers to the event. He doesn't narrate it.

MoSe
16-01-2006, 11:08:05
ogp
I thnk that was as much narrated as he could

Drekkus
16-01-2006, 11:26:17
Out of the whole piece, I think the line "He bumped his head and died almost immediately" is the best.

Diss
16-01-2006, 20:28:13
ahhh good stuff. I don't need to hear it's fake. It ruins the funniness of it. :)

mr_G
17-01-2006, 10:09:07
:lol: love the story