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Immortal Wombat
31-12-2005, 19:20:45
This wasn't supposed to happen until I'd got a shitty job that I would want to avoid doing for a few days. Why did they have to catch me while I want to be pissing around being a student.

Lazarus and the Gimp
31-12-2005, 19:42:45
Ahahahahahaha! Prepare yourself for the apex of boredom.

Immortal Wombat
31-12-2005, 20:08:15
I'm going to take a colouring book. That should keep me busy for a while.

HelloKitty
31-12-2005, 23:09:41
Crap your pants in the waiting room, and by pants I mean the floor.

You will get to leave right away!

Colon
31-12-2005, 23:15:47
Looks like someone's got experience in this matter.

TV4Fun
01-01-2006, 08:38:30
Just tell them you're prejudiced against every race, creed, and religion.

Lazarus and the Gimp
01-01-2006, 08:44:25
They'd make him a magistrate.

TV4Fun
01-01-2006, 08:45:46
That probably pays better, at least.

devilmunchkin
01-01-2006, 09:55:16
write "no work, no eat" and send it in saying you can't go. that's what i do (b/c it's true...)

TV4Fun
01-01-2006, 09:56:19
If that doesn't work, steal a loaf of bread.

RedFred
01-01-2006, 18:16:40
Best successful attempt to get out of jury duty I've seen: a guy called up showed up with his son. He was told that he was required to enter the courtroom but his son was not permitted. The son piped up and said that he was going to act as interpreter because his father only spoke Chinese.

Funko
03-01-2006, 10:01:42
It is unbelievably boring. On the plus side they normally know that you can be let out early by lunchtime so you don't have to spend all day there.

On the downside you have no plausible excuse to get out of doing a murder trial which could last weeks/months. Gutted.

HelloKitty
03-01-2006, 19:52:37
You could also put on the form

"I will cum as long a their is no niggers on my trail. I no they wood remember me an look 4 me afterward."

Japher
03-01-2006, 20:08:38
I was called in for Jury Duty once, it was fun. They call people up and go over their lives. It's people watching, but more in depth. I was in Cupertino at the time, which has a large asian population. The judge got so pissed at ppl because half of them claimed not to speak english despite living in the US for 20+ years, owning a buisness, and several homes. It got me rather mad as well.

Still, they got a good jury and I was never called. I was kind of mad, because I like talking about myself... and how I have me niggers.

mr_G
03-01-2006, 21:57:26
you're still wearing your Xmas hat, are you a bum?

Colon
03-01-2006, 22:33:57
Originally posted by Japher
The judge got so pissed at ppl because half of them claimed not to speak english despite living in the US for 20+ years, owning a buisness, and several homes.

:lol:

DaShi
04-01-2006, 03:13:49
I went to China.

Oerdin
04-01-2006, 05:07:50
I've always managed to get out of jury duty. The three times I've been summoned they read out a long list of names and when mine wasn't called they paid me my $5 (not even enough for parking) and sent me on my way.

I'm not sure if I've just been lucky or if my name is so typically white American that they don't want to call on me. Either way I thank my lucky stars. I suppose the fact that I'm the IV also makes people not want me on the jury. It's like they think I'm some sort of rich arch-fiend conservative or something.

Greg W
04-01-2006, 06:28:44
I heard a good one the other day. Instead of filing into the courtroom as you are supposed to do, try and walk around the front of the Jury box to get to your seat. In the case I heard of, the judge threw the juror out.

Probably won't work if you try it as a defendant however.

Funko
04-01-2006, 09:54:39
The UK/US jury process is very different I think.

Drekkus
04-01-2006, 09:58:15
Thank God we don't have a jury system.

Funko
04-01-2006, 10:07:37
I really don't know whether the jury system is good or bad.

Drekkus
04-01-2006, 10:08:53
Me neither, but I'm glad I don't have to be in one.

mr_G
04-01-2006, 10:11:35
jury duty is that something they left in the toilet bowl.

King_Ghidra
04-01-2006, 10:25:32
Originally posted by Funko
I really don't know whether the jury system is good or bad.

yeah it's a toss-up between some old guy who will be an expert in law but possibly completely out of touch with reality, or, a bunch of normal people who nothing about law, probably don't want to be there, and are riddled with prejudice and stupidity

hmm well maybe it's not like that, but something i would be interested to see is a comparison of conviction rates for different crimes between jury and non-jury systems

Funko
04-01-2006, 10:35:29
The problem is that the societies are likely very different as well, so you aren't really comparing like with like... very tough.

Funko
04-01-2006, 10:39:05
When you are on a jury they do explain very clearly what the legal points are and exactly what you have to decide on.

A guy I work with has a slightly shady past and he says that if you are offered trial by jury you should always take it, good chance you'll get off even if you're obviously guilty because you get "some drippy woman" on the jury (he's really not very PC) who will get you off.

Drekkus
04-01-2006, 10:47:04
drippy woman?

Funko
04-01-2006, 10:50:14
soppy/soft/emotional?

mr_G
04-01-2006, 10:52:17
I think all those question about good en wrong en law-thingys and all shoul be layed before Uber Judge Dyl the allmighty.
that's what I think - FACT!!!

Funko
04-01-2006, 10:58:20
A lot of it comes down to opinion, who is telling the truth etc. Not sure why a lawyer is required.

I don't think either system is perfect, and K_G summed up the difference really well I think. If our judges weren't almost exclusively old white men it might not be so bad.

MoSe
04-01-2006, 11:04:30
Originally posted by Funko
soppy/soft/emotional?

:whew: for moment I thought he meant "wet"

Funko
04-01-2006, 11:05:36
Well he did but the old meaning of wet. I had to avoid saying it for exactly that reason. :D

Aredhran
04-01-2006, 11:08:55
I was on Jury Duty in 2004, and it was a very interesting experience, to see what it's really like in a courtroom.

MoSe
04-01-2006, 11:10:48
were you angry?

MoSe
04-01-2006, 11:13:44
Originally posted by Funko
the old meaning of wet.

ah, "old".... WHEN did it change, btw?

IIRC a small keyboard piece by Pink Floyd was titled "Wet dream", probably in their Ummagumma album or something, what was it, '69?

mr_G
04-01-2006, 11:13:45
I was in court for "drunk" driving in 1989, and it was a very interesting experience, to see what it's really like in a courtroom.

Funko
04-01-2006, 11:16:36
:lol:

mr_G
04-01-2006, 11:20:05
As a matter of fact I could blame Drekkus for the "drunk" driving, he bought the second beer in the pub called "bontekoe"
just drank 3 beers in about 2 minutes, drove off in my dads audi 80E, spinning in first and second gear, just after two corners the police made me stop and i had to blow'm.

Scabrous Birdseed
04-01-2006, 11:41:56
I'm jealous. I always wanted to be on a jury, we don't have a system like that here. :(

Japher
04-01-2006, 15:05:29
Originally posted by mr_G
you're still wearing your Xmas hat, are you a bum?

better?

Funko
04-01-2006, 15:06:26
Christmas hats are ok to the end of today

MDA
04-01-2006, 15:15:22
Originally posted by DaShi
I went to China.

only Nixon could go to China.

King_Ghidra
04-01-2006, 15:17:47
Originally posted by Japher
better?

preferred the one with sharapova blowing that banana

Aredhran
04-01-2006, 15:32:00
Originally posted by mr_G
i had to blow'm.

:hmm:

Japher
04-01-2006, 15:35:56
preferred the one with sharapova blowing that banana

me too

Dyl Ulenspiegel
04-01-2006, 15:37:41
Originally posted by mr_G
I think all those question about good en wrong en law-thingys and all shoul be layed before Uber Judge Dyl the allmighty.
that's what I think - FACT!!!

jeeejtje!

Dyl Ulenspiegel
04-01-2006, 15:41:03
As for a jury system, we have both juries (8 jurors to decide, judge to lead trial), and mixed courts (2 judges, 2 laypersons ["Schöffen"] lead the trial and decide in criminal cases). Most experts see the mixed system as the best, because it allows a direct interaction between the juridic and the lay perspective.

Drekkus
04-01-2006, 15:47:00
Originally posted by Dyl Ulenspiegel
jeeejtje! :lol:
Jeetje Mina!!

MoSe
04-01-2006, 15:48:52
Originally posted by Funko
Christmas hats are ok to the end of today
from tomorrow on we begin celebrating asshats

Japher
04-01-2006, 15:49:23
Drekkus started early

Drekkus
04-01-2006, 15:58:20
Whassat?

Japher
04-01-2006, 16:03:45
Asshat

MoSe
04-01-2006, 16:52:47
if you insist you'll spoil the plug on those having birthday tomorrow

MDA
04-01-2006, 18:31:37
The hats cover the plugs. No problems!

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-01-2006, 20:13:12
Originally posted by Funko
I really don't know whether the jury system is good or bad.

It's good, in my opinion. The case of Clive Ponting alone justifies it.

If I remember the case correctly, Ponting was a whistle-blower who leaked the fact that lies were told in the Commons over the cost of Trident, and he promptly got prosecuted under the Official Secrets Act. There was no question about his guilt- it was clear-cut, and the judge directed the jury towards the appropriate guilty verdict.

However the jury found him Not Guilty. It's known in the business as "Fuck you" verdict, and they're rare but magnificent. Totally perverse in legal terms, but strangely in tune with the principles of justice. They wouldn't happen without juries.

MoSe
05-01-2006, 08:38:30
a "Fuck you" verdict?

what about a
"No, Fuck YOU!"
sentence then?
;)

Funko
05-01-2006, 09:10:33
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
It's good, in my opinion. The case of Clive Ponting alone justifies it.

If I remember the case correctly, Ponting was a whistle-blower who leaked the fact that lies were told in the Commons over the cost of Trident, and he promptly got prosecuted under the Official Secrets Act. There was no question about his guilt- it was clear-cut, and the judge directed the jury towards the appropriate guilty verdict.

However the jury found him Not Guilty. It's known in the business as "Fuck you" verdict, and they're rare but magnificent. Totally perverse in legal terms, but strangely in tune with the principles of justice. They wouldn't happen without juries.

Yes, that's what I like about them.

I can't remember the exact details but I seem to remember there was a granny who was charged with several growing/dealing offenses because she was growing weed and baking it into cakes and cookies and giving it to her aged friends 'cause it made them feel better. The jury found her not guilty as well.

Scabrous Birdseed
05-01-2006, 10:12:09
It would hopefully also prevent quite a few of the legal idiocies that stream out of our courts, along the lines of:

* A child rape victim gets less damages than an adult rape victim because "they're younger". :hmm:

* A fourteen-year-old girl forced into an appartment by four middle-aged men, drunk incoherent and then gangbanged has been "sexually expolited", not raped. :mad:

etc. etc. Our newspapers are full of these judgements which rely on self-indulgent legal niggles. Both of the above cases (and a few other similar ones) would easily have been different under a jury system since the majority of the people think they're ridiculous.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
05-01-2006, 10:14:14
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
However the jury found him Not Guilty. It's known in the business as "Fuck you" verdict, and they're rare but magnificent.

Well, I'd prefer a constitutional judiciary over jury nullification.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
05-01-2006, 10:17:29
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
It would hopefully also prevent quite a few of the legal idiocies that stream out of our courts, along the lines of:

* A child rape victim gets less damages than an adult rape victim because "they're younger". :hmm:

* A fourteen-year-old girl forced into an appartment by four middle-aged men, drunk incoherent and then gangbanged has been "sexually expolited", not raped. :mad:

etc. etc. Our newspapers are full of these judgements which rely on self-indulgent legal niggles. Both of the above cases (and a few other similar ones) would easily have been different under a jury system since the majority of the people think they're ridiculous.

A jury system is unlikely to overcome "legal niggles" to the disadvantage of defendents, as an overreaching verdict can usually be overturned on appeal.

As for newspapers, journalists are the worst scum of the earth right behind politicians and before economists and lawyers. It is impossible to judge from newspapers whether there are legitimate reasons for a verdict or it is just "self-indulgent legal niggles".

Funko
05-01-2006, 10:25:09
In our system the jury doesn't decide sentencing, only guilt/innoccence. The judges still give out sentences and it leads to just such idiosyncrasies all the time.

Goes back to K_G's out of touch with reality judges thing.

Scabrous Birdseed
05-01-2006, 10:29:10
Originally posted by Dyl Ulenspiegel
journalists are the worst scum of the earth

:cry:

MoSe
05-01-2006, 10:34:54
and being "right behind politicians" won't offer you an exciting view either

MoSe
05-01-2006, 10:37:15
Originally posted by Dyl Ulenspiegel
journalists are the worst scum of the earth right behind politicians and before economists and lawyers.

so, can we figure this "scum train"?

EiF leading, followed by Scabby and then Dyl?
Can we take RC to represent economists?

;)

Dyl Ulenspiegel
05-01-2006, 10:42:37
EiF
Scabby
RC*
Dyl

* If he has anything to do with macro, otherwise I'll take his place.

Aredhran
05-01-2006, 13:57:09
Originally posted by MoSe
and being "right behind politicians" won't offer you an exciting view either

:lol:

Originally posted by Funko
In our system the jury doesn't decide sentencing, only guilt/innoccence

In Switzerland, the jury does both, in 2 separate delibarations. The first is to determine if guilty, the results are then announced to the court by the judge, followed by a recess, pleading by prosecution and defending attorneys, then a 2nd deliberation to decide on the sentence.

Funko
05-01-2006, 14:00:04
I can't spell can I.

MoSe
05-01-2006, 14:10:55
in no sense