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View Full Version : I hate it when water goes up my ass


Diss
15-12-2005, 17:28:55
Who in the hell designed the modern toilet anyways?

Funko
15-12-2005, 17:30:57
Do smaller or less dense shits.

Funko
15-12-2005, 17:31:38
Eat more fresh fruit/veg and less meat. Will make it less dense. :)

Diss
15-12-2005, 17:37:22
fruits and vegetables? :confused:

Funko
15-12-2005, 17:38:15
Fuck good health just eat more fruit and veg and you won't splash your arse when you shit.

Venom
15-12-2005, 17:53:53
Evolve a faster asshole.

paiktis22
15-12-2005, 18:08:38
bide bide

mr.G
15-12-2005, 18:12:14
buy a dutch toilet


we rrrrr schjmart

Kitsuki
15-12-2005, 18:16:22
Dont have a colonic irrigation.

lightblue
15-12-2005, 18:32:45
Stand then flush would solve your issue tbh.

Japher
15-12-2005, 18:50:56
that's to practical...

Greg W
15-12-2005, 19:37:35
Or if it's backsplash, then stand while shitting.

Alternatively, shit on your garden bed directly for some cheap fertiliser.

Lazarus and the Gimp
15-12-2005, 19:54:23
Has he just shat in the bidet again?

Japher
15-12-2005, 19:55:55
no... he used the spare toilet

Sir Penguin
15-12-2005, 20:04:12
Serves you right for having such a loose ass.

SP

Japher
15-12-2005, 20:41:22
and such a sluty hamster named Water

HelloKitty
15-12-2005, 21:30:59
Do you people still ahve goos toilets available? In the US people have to smuggle toilets over from Mexico and Canada to keep from having to flush 3 or 4 times every trip. No joke either, and they are illegal to bring in and getting caught is a felony.

When we renovated out bathroom we got a high powered pressure tank toilet. Uses a tiny amount of water and has never clogged in 4 years.

Venom
15-12-2005, 21:33:39
God damn water conservationists. When I've got a 4 pound dump, I need that shit to go whoosing away immediately. I don't need no floaters.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
15-12-2005, 22:43:49
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Do you people still ahve goos toilets available?

Have what?
We just go behind the house to have a good dump in the wilderness.

Koshko
15-12-2005, 23:06:21
Use a real toilet not a damn bidet or a water fountian.

Koshko
15-12-2005, 23:09:15
Originally posted by Dyl Ulenspiegel
Have what?
We just go behind the house to have a good dump in the wilderness.

We used to have real toilets. Then environmentalists decried that we are wasting too much water flushing. Thus they indroduced 'energy saver' tiolets. Basically they are like real toilets but will clog up pretty much every time you take a shit.

HelloKitty
16-12-2005, 01:23:25
goos = good

Oerdin
16-12-2005, 03:35:12
Originally posted by mr.G
buy a dutch toilet


we rrrrr schjmart

:coolgrin:

King_Ghidra
16-12-2005, 09:03:18
speaking from experience of several very heavy weekends in amsterdam, i am not a fan of those toilets

maroule
16-12-2005, 09:04:40
Originally posted by Venom
God damn water conservationists. When I've got a 4 pound dump, I need that shit to go whoosing away immediately. I don't need no floaters.


I wonder why your shit doesn't drown, especially at 4 pounds

Greg W
16-12-2005, 09:43:45
It could be an optical illusion, but that dutch toilet don't look very deep to me. If you pushed out a long turd, it could easily hit bottom before you broke it off. And then where would you be? You'd either have to squeeze off early, and suck part back in, or stand up, risking a breakaway. Way too dangerous for my liking.

Funko
16-12-2005, 09:48:12
Your concerns are well founded.

mr.G
16-12-2005, 09:48:34
no funny m ANN,
when the tip of the turt hits the bottom then you c ANN move your butt a bit so you c ANN poop letters

The i is the most diffecult letter to poop because of the dot on top

I always get the dot wrong, that zuigt.

maroule
16-12-2005, 09:59:02
if you do hoola hop you can write the Q

JM^3
16-12-2005, 10:01:47
I thought i was easy..

JM

mr.G
16-12-2005, 10:11:17
Drekkus is "Roosendaals champion letter pooping" he even can poop different fontsstyles

Funko
16-12-2005, 10:13:47
:lol:

Dyl Ulenspiegel
16-12-2005, 10:47:19
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Do you people still ahve goos toilets available? In the US people have to smuggle toilets over from Mexico and Canada to keep from having to flush 3 or 4 times every trip. No joke either, and they are illegal to bring in and getting caught is a felony.


This one makes for hilarious (almost pythonesque) reading:

http://www.americanstandard-us.com/pressroom/newsroom_detail.asp?NewsID=112

"And while toilet manufacturers continue to develop new technologies that make low-flow toilets more efficient, they also are fast increasing customer satisfaction. Among the innovators is American Standard, the world’s largest manufacturer of kitchen and bath products, which recently introduced the Champion®, a toilet that conserves water while offering virtually no clogs."

You can almost smell the heroism. :gasmaske:

Btw, most toilets here still work with 10 liters for big and 5 liters for small business, and a stop-function.

Cruddy
16-12-2005, 12:20:09
Originally posted by Greg W
It could be an optical illusion, but that dutch toilet don't look very deep to me. If you pushed out a long turd, it could easily hit bottom before you broke it off. And then where would you be? You'd either have to squeeze off early, and suck part back in, or stand up, risking a breakaway. Way too dangerous for my liking.

What you have to remember Greg, is that a lot of Dutch have extremely well toned backsides from all the cycling.

While other nations consider taking a dump a relaxing episode, for them it's more of an Olympian challenge. No slouching on the seat for them, it's time to wiggle that tushie and squeeze out something "creative".

Having helped unblock a couple of Dutch toilets in my time, take my word for it that when it comes to making a 3D replica of their intestines, the Dutch are the masters. :bouncmsk:

King_Ghidra
16-12-2005, 12:56:00
you're a dark horse, i'll give you that

Venom
16-12-2005, 13:15:55
This thread is nearly clamoring for tub girl.

mr.G
16-12-2005, 13:19:55
there is a god!!!

I couldn't resist and did a pic searxch of tubgirl,
"The page you are attempting to access has been removed because it violated Tripod's Terms of Service. Please check out Tripod's Help system for more information."

I am going to church this sunday

MoSe
16-12-2005, 14:38:35
Originally posted by Funko
Your concerns are well founded.
I CAN BACK THAT UP!!!!

Funko
16-12-2005, 14:43:48
It can back you up.

Japher
16-12-2005, 14:47:54
slut

King_Ghidra
16-12-2005, 15:09:26
to return to the original point, i quite like it when the water goes up my ass

kind of a strange mixture of pride (at having dropped a big one in) and physical sensation

Nills Lagerbaak
16-12-2005, 15:18:01
I don't want to shatter any illusions, or go into too much detail, but at that stage in a typical dumping process, that splash-back is mainy piss.

King_Ghidra
16-12-2005, 15:22:01
if you had a piss first, yes...or is your toilet just constantly full of piss?

Japher
16-12-2005, 15:22:27
own goal

Funko
16-12-2005, 15:22:42
I rarely do just a shit without having a piss as well.

Is that not normal?

:nervous:

Nills Lagerbaak
16-12-2005, 15:24:56
It is extremely rare to do a shit without a piss. Damn you K_G I didn't want to go into that level of detail

Funko
16-12-2005, 15:25:57
Maybe people take the piss out of K_G so frequently he's just left full of shit?

MoSe
16-12-2005, 15:29:15
:lol:

I couldn't have put it down (or worked it out) better

King_Ghidra
16-12-2005, 15:37:21
i hate you all you bastards :( :cry:

nils is right of course, i was just playing devil's advocate and trying to get away from the thought that my own piss had gone up my ass

Funko
16-12-2005, 15:42:45
Would it be ok if it was someone elses piss?

Nills Lagerbaak
16-12-2005, 15:43:18
Well :o you too were right. My toilet is always full of piss, so someone elses piss has been up my arse.

Funko
16-12-2005, 15:44:58
:lol:

King_Ghidra
16-12-2005, 15:53:42
:lol:

Japher
16-12-2005, 16:21:24
how did this get to two pages?

Funko
16-12-2005, 16:21:58
Because it's the best thread for ages?

Tizzy
16-12-2005, 16:24:20
I wish I hadn't bothered reading this

Funko
16-12-2005, 16:24:50
Why?

Oerdin
16-12-2005, 16:26:25
Now she's afraid of spash back.

Nills Lagerbaak
16-12-2005, 16:26:29
I think whoever wrote this thread should be forced to bend over and take their anal douche like a man!

MoSe
16-12-2005, 16:47:25
Originally posted by Japher
how did this get to two pages?

because your pagesize is too short

Japher
16-12-2005, 16:48:44
but i don't know how to change it

Venom
16-12-2005, 16:50:52
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
Well :o you too were right. My toilet is always full of piss, so someone elses piss has been up my arse.

This is why I shit in the bathtub.

Japher
16-12-2005, 16:52:34
I collect my piss in the bathtub

mr.G
16-12-2005, 16:53:45
Originally posted by Venom
This is why I shit in the bathtub. just like your sis........tubgirl

Drekkus
16-12-2005, 17:18:41
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
It is extremely rare to do a shit without a piss. Damn you K_G I didn't want to go into that level of detail But is very rare to piss and shit at the same time. But I have blocked from my mind whether I normally piss or shit first.

King_Ghidra
16-12-2005, 17:21:08
:lol: this thread is constantly rewarding

mr.G
16-12-2005, 17:22:47
Originally posted by Drekkus
But is very rare to piss and shit at the same time. But I have blocked from my mind whether I normally piss or shit first. normally i piss first

Japher
16-12-2005, 17:23:23
depends on how bad I have to poop

MoSe
16-12-2005, 17:40:45
Originally posted by Drekkus
But I have blocked from my mind whether I normally piss or shit first.

shitkiss pissfirst

KrazyHorse
16-12-2005, 18:08:26
Originally posted by Funko
I rarely do just a shit without having a piss as well.

Is that not normal?

:nervous:

I usually shit first and piss second though.

Diss
16-12-2005, 19:25:15
Originally posted by Funko
I rarely do just a shit without having a piss as well.

Is that not normal?

:nervous:

I almost always take a piss when taking a shit, unless I just took a piss a few minutes earlier.

sometimes if I have time (sometimes nature doesn't allow time), I'll flush the toilet after taking a piss but before taking a shit. So if any water splashes back, it's relatively clean. Yeah I know piss is sterile. But that doesn't mean I want to take any golden showers any time soon.

Japher
16-12-2005, 19:36:23
urine IS sterile

Diss
16-12-2005, 19:39:53
Originally posted by Japher
how did this get to two pages?

somehow I knew CG is the best place to discuss taking a shit.

Japher
16-12-2005, 19:50:48
I have a friend who stands up from taking a shit if he has to pee... noticed a lot of movement under the stall in a gas station once.

Diss
16-12-2005, 20:14:57
he would have to turn around then. That's a lot of work.

I hate taking a dump in public restrooms. And you'll never find me doing it in of all places- a gas station restroom. The only thing I look for in those places is gay sex.

I don't even like to have my pants touch the floor in those places. I've kind of mastered bunching my pants up above my shoes without them touching the floor.

I learned this in the navy. As our bathrooms often had water and piss (our urinals and everything else leaked) sloshing back and forth accross the floor with the ship's movement.

Greg W
16-12-2005, 21:39:08
Originally posted by Drekkus
But is very rare to piss and shit at the same time. But I have blocked from my mind whether I normally piss or shit first. You can't piss and shit at the same time? Oh, the joys you deprive yourself of...

Diss
16-12-2005, 22:05:37
I can piss and shit at the same time if it's an easy shit. But I can't do it when you actually have to work at taking a shit. But sometimes they just slide right out. :)