View Full Version : Argh, why is the line I get in at the supermarket always the slowest?

07-12-2005, 01:52:59
Or that would be queues for you English speaking peoples.

It's a fucking conspiracy I tell you. I think men should have their own supermarket apart from women as well (and I'm not talking about convenience stores). This would help things.

07-12-2005, 13:37:11
I always get behind the lady who wants to split up her groceries so she can pay for the milk with food stamps, her vodka with an out of state check, and her friends prescription medicine with cash... oh, and she decides to shop for stamps... and her check doesn't clear... so she tries to use her credit card... that has to be swiped a certain way... and still doesn't work...

07-12-2005, 13:39:10
argh so true

07-12-2005, 13:40:33
and all I want is chapstick

07-12-2005, 13:50:33
that stuff is evil. Once you start using it you can't stop, otherwise your lips will permanently dry up and fall off.

07-12-2005, 13:51:19

07-12-2005, 13:53:09
but my lips hurt Real bad!

07-12-2005, 13:58:54
Originally posted by Nav
that stuff is evil. Once you start using it you can't stop, otherwise your lips will permanently dry up and fall off.

Nose Oil - it's the future!

07-12-2005, 14:01:53
You mean snot?

07-12-2005, 14:03:30
still lubes pretty good

07-12-2005, 14:07:57
Originally posted by Funko
You mean snot?

Nope, the oil produced on the skin of the nose. It's the most amazing substance known to man. It can do anything from lubricate watches to repairing magnetic disk tape.

07-12-2005, 14:12:00
Nose oil and it's uses deserves it's own thread.

07-12-2005, 17:51:36
Kill all queue jumpers

08-12-2005, 14:50:40
Nose oil is alo useful for dispersing the head on an excessively foamy European Lager. Try it.

Maybe they should use it for oil spills?

Anyway, it's "The Law of Sod" that says your queue always moves the slowest. However, here are a few tips though to help you through:

Always choose the queue FURTHEST from the exit - people are lazy and usually don't go as far to get to a checkout, so there will be less people in the queue.

Always choose the either the FIRST or LAST queue - that way you only have people moving faster than you on one side rather than on both - psychologically this feels less bad

Always choose a checkout queue where there are fewer people with trolleys vs. more people with baskets. One of the slowest parts of the checkout transaction is the payment. Therefore whilst a queue with only 1 person with a big trolley-load may look slower than a 3-person basket queue, the basket queue will take longer as you've got 3 muppets trying to remember what their chip & pins are...

08-12-2005, 14:52:30
"Furthest from the exit" - disagree

What you mean is "furthest from the aisle most people finish shopping in." - FACT

most people go up and down the aisles in the same order and then when they finish go to the nearest checkout. Depends where the exit is situated whenter you want to go furthest from the exit or not.

08-12-2005, 14:52:40
It's not always the amount of items the person has, but the number of people in the line. This is because the slowness comes from incompitence, and generally the checker knows what they're doing. It's the stupid ppl who wait until all their items are checked to begin writing their check! And then they ask "how much?" or "where am I"!

Freaking morons!

08-12-2005, 14:53:57
2 people behind the checkout = trainee = takes forever. Avoid at all costs.

08-12-2005, 14:55:12
In areas where white people are in the majority head for non-white checkers, they get less customers. Noticed loads of times that people unconciously go for the white checker if they have a choice of two even queues.

08-12-2005, 14:57:05
that's 'cause the darkies gank my watermelon!