View Full Version : More excellent bullshit science - beer goggles calculator

25-11-2005, 11:11:05

Scientists believe they have worked out a formula to calculate how "beer goggles" affect a drinker's vision.

The drink-fuelled phenomenon is said to transform supposedly "ugly" people into beauties - until the morning after.

Researchers at Manchester University say while beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder, the amount of alcohol consumed is not the only factor.

Additional factors include the level of light in the pub or club, the drinker's own eyesight and the room's smokiness.

The distance between two people is also a factor.

They all add up to make the aesthetically-challenged more attractive, according to the formula.

25-11-2005, 11:16:53
This is another one we should have investigated.

25-11-2005, 11:17:24

Why do you think I keep the wine well stocked at home?

Nills Lagerbaak
25-11-2005, 11:17:43
beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder :lol:

25-11-2005, 11:18:50
Great title isn't it. :)

25-11-2005, 12:36:48
Originally posted by Tizzy
This is another one we should have investigated.

ah i thought you guys were in the middle of a long-term case study... :nervous:

25-11-2005, 12:43:33

25-11-2005, 12:43:56
You're dead!

25-11-2005, 12:44:57
I am.

"No dear, I'm not going out to get drunk and leer at attractive boys, it's science!"

25-11-2005, 14:04:28
and even attempting a recover like "nonono, I'm doing it for looking at YOU" won't do any better

25-11-2005, 14:05:28
If she goes out, gets drunk and leers at attractive boys I get a drunk horny girlfriend coming home.

What's bad about that? :confused:

Nills Lagerbaak
25-11-2005, 14:19:13
Eeew. Too much information. That's what's bad

25-11-2005, 14:20:37

25-11-2005, 14:22:20

way way too much info

25-11-2005, 14:26:25


I'll be late home tonight then

25-11-2005, 14:28:07

28-11-2005, 15:46:10
More info (including the formula) here:


28-11-2005, 15:47:26
do I have to say how lame that is?

28-11-2005, 15:51:34
yes please

28-11-2005, 16:01:29
this is LAME! VERY LAME!

Smoke doesn't effect my beer goggles

28-11-2005, 16:03:49
ah, ok, then it's monorepieted-capital lame
I expected a bit more.....

Lurker the Second
28-11-2005, 16:42:42
I certainly hope tax dollars were used to fund this study.

28-11-2005, 17:09:09
I might have to get a battery for my old school programable calculator so I can make that calculation on the fly when drunk.

Er... not that I'll need that formula obviously.



Lurker the Second
28-11-2005, 17:21:06
I dunno, seems to me you owe it to Tizzy to be a bit selective when scavenging for 3somes.

28-11-2005, 17:26:55
Yeah, she might not like your choice in guys.

28-11-2005, 17:28:58
Luckily she's gone home now so she might not see this until tomorrow morning and hopefully she'll have forgotten she needs to kick me by the afternoon. :beer:

28-11-2005, 22:17:37
Unless you remind her by writing about it on some board.

28-11-2005, 22:46:40
the equation is BS

I am often over 100, and I only have slight perception changes... which can be the same if I am very horny


29-11-2005, 00:24:56
People always look better far off, I feel so let down when I get closer and find out they're mingers

29-11-2005, 10:39:11
Originally posted by Funko
Luckily she's gone home now so she might not see this until tomorrow morning and hopefully she'll have forgotten she needs to kick me by the afternoon. :beer:

I saw it yesterday.

I have developed a new tactic of not striking when expected.

29-11-2005, 10:48:08

29-11-2005, 11:11:59
so you can strike anytime, as he won't know when to expect it.

this is a famous paradox

A monday morning, the death row supervisor tells a convict waiting his death sentence:
"I promise you two things:
1. your execution will take place this week, within next sunday at latest
2. when it will happen, you won't be expecting it"

The convict begins then to reflect:
It can't be Sunday, because if I'll still be alive on Sunday, that would be the last available day for the execution, thus I'll know that it will have to happen that day and I will be expecting it.
But if Saturday comes and I'll still be here, as we determined that it can't be on Sunday then it will have to be on Saturday. I would be then expecting it, so it can't be Saturday neither.
Applying the same reasoning he tracks the whole week back determining that to respect the 2nd clause the director can't execute him neither on Friday, Thursday, Wednesday, Tuesday nor that same Monday.
He's positive that the director can't execute him without breaking his promise, and as he knows him as a man of utter word and honour, he resolves that the director fell in conrtadiction and his execution won't actually take place.
Then, on Wednesday (or Thursday, or Tuesday, you can pick any), the director calls him:
"Come, now it's the day"
"WHAT???? B-But... it CAN'T be today!!!!!!!"
"See? you weren't expecting it!"


Lurker the Second
29-11-2005, 13:09:30
I can't believe you took the time to type that out.

29-11-2005, 13:19:34
no, I thought to it and it magically appeared in the reply box.
It migh have been a case of telegraphy, or unconscious automatic writing.

besides, we had recent cases of other posters who posted much longer post, so the above it's nothing to get amazed by in any case