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Scabrous Birdseed
19-11-2005, 15:59:46
#1 - play Memory with a senile dementia victim. (My GF has actually done this.)

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-11-2005, 16:02:27
Bad move. They're brilliant on anything before 1960. It's just the last decade or so they struggle with.

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-11-2005, 16:03:32
2- Play football as an agressive defensive midfielder, against small children.

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-11-2005, 16:04:53
3- Start a thread entitled "Local areas of historical importance" in a forum largely populated by Americans.

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-11-2005, 16:05:36
4- Compare life experiences with Venom.

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-11-2005, 16:06:28
5- Compare technical proficiency in the manly arts of construction with me.

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-11-2005, 16:07:12
6- Compare your respective anus health with Kitty.

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-11-2005, 16:08:02
7- Lurk at Poly.

Fergus & The Brazen Car
19-11-2005, 16:23:55
8. Get into an argument about films with The Norks.

9. Go to a Chinese nudist colony.

10. Place a bet with an anorexic bulimic as to how much food you can hold down.

Colon
19-11-2005, 16:24:39
6- Compare your respective anus health with Kitty.
7- Lurk at Poly.
5- Compare technical proficiency in the manly arts of construction with me.

Won't work for me. :(

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-11-2005, 21:00:24
Your council's in worse shape than Kitty's? The woman shits blood for America! I'm so, so sorry.

Colon
19-11-2005, 21:35:43
Actually, it's not that bad. :nervous:

The Norks
19-11-2005, 22:58:36
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
2- Play football as an agressive defensive midfielder, against small children.

I saw my (competitive, Scottish) Dad once hold an angry small child by the top of his head at arms length, while keeping a football under his foot and say 'Go on son, kick the ball!' Cue much futile flailing and kicking at the air and a big temper tantrum.

does that count?

Cruddy
19-11-2005, 23:34:15
11. Observe a chav.

Greg W
20-11-2005, 10:27:06
12. Play England in a "friendly" football match.

shagnasty
20-11-2005, 10:36:12
13. Hurl bottle of stale piss at afformentioned chav. Laugh mightily.

Lazarus and the Gimp
20-11-2005, 13:41:15
14- Remind chav-slaggers that they're merely perpetuating a 200-year tradition of bourgeouis prole fear.

The Norks
20-11-2005, 18:23:34
nobody likes a prole

Drekkus
20-11-2005, 21:35:57
Originally posted by Fergus & The Brazen Car
9. Go to a Chinese nudist colony.
:lol:

Cruddy
21-11-2005, 01:08:47
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
14- Remind chav-slaggers that they're merely perpetuating a 200-year tradition of bourgeouis prole fear.

I didn't slag them. I said observe them.

98% of the time they show themselves up, doesn't take an outside influence.

maroule
21-11-2005, 09:43:06
15 - Go to a British pub on a friday night and behave normally

16 - Talk about the Iraq situation to a neo cons (if you can still find one)

17 - Talk about 18th century French proto socialist writers to a mexican burger flipper in Austin, Tx

Funko
21-11-2005, 09:44:30
18 - Read Egon Roney's new book which mentions how British Gastropubs are now better than French bistros article (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4453834.stm)

maroule
21-11-2005, 10:19:30
19 - Watch funko take pride in mentionning an unknown British guide blowing British trumpets. Assert your moral superiority by admitting however that yes, some Gastropubs in the countryside are indeed very nice, but that comparing a few quality establishments with French bistro (urban, very cheap food, millions of them so many are average) is rather foolish. A more appropriate take would be to compare them with new bistro (bistro 'reworked' by star chefs, but still affordable). I can recommend Aux Lyonnais for next visit http://travel2.nytimes.com/top/features/travel/destinations/europe/france/paris/restaurant_details.html?vid=1107942620082

Funko
21-11-2005, 10:20:52
20 - see CG's only French poster get sucked into your craftily timed troll.

Gary
21-11-2005, 11:35:08
:D You're supposed to counter-respond to the "Unknown" bit ;) Spoilsport.

Funko
21-11-2005, 11:44:01
Wasn't worth it. For all I know Egon Ronay isn't known in France.

Anyway maroule said that comparing British pubs that serve food (urban and rural, millions of them so many are averages, not so cheap food*) with French Bistros wasn't fair. Meh.


*the guide/article does say that the price is an issue but it's Britain, everything is expensive.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
21-11-2005, 12:19:33
21 - read the first half of CGers' 40 ways to boost your self-confidence

maroule
21-11-2005, 13:40:53
1/ I understand he's not talking about average pubs, but gastropubs. If he was, it'd be absolute horseshit : food in your average british pub (at least in London) is very poor, compared to average in bistros.

2/ he seems to be stressing how welcoming/nice it is, and to that I can agree, French waiters are selected on their rudeness (takes a lot of training)

3/ Egon Ronay is absolutely unknown in France, there's not a single reference on him in the French Amazon, or on french pages of google

4/ I have time to take baits today, unlike most other days

Japher
21-11-2005, 13:43:39
22 - Match wits with Drekkus

mr.G
21-11-2005, 13:45:01
23 - stand next to Japher.

Japher
21-11-2005, 13:47:21
hey!

mr.G
21-11-2005, 13:47:50
jep.......it works

Funko
21-11-2005, 13:51:32
Originally posted by maroule
1/ I understand he's not talking about average pubs, but gastropubs. If he was, it'd be absolute horseshit : food in your average british pub (at least in London) is very poor, compared to average in bistros.


The article defines gastropubs as any pub that serves food and draft beer.

That market has got dramatically better in the last couple of years, although there are still shit ones most are at least a reasonable standard and the good ones really are good. I can't really comment on comparing them with Bistros 'cause I don't know anything about that but we are improving all the time as a nation which is good.

Lazarus and the Gimp
21-11-2005, 21:27:24
Originally posted by maroule
15 - Go to a British pub on a friday night and behave normally


That's discounted for being impossible. Unless you can prove you can act normally while a Neolithic throwback fixes you in an affectionate headlock and declares that he loves you and you're his best mate, while his 17-stone girlfriend in a cropped top shows you her tits.

Fergus & The Brazen Car
22-11-2005, 13:20:43
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Act normally while a Neolithic throwback fixes you in an affectionate headlock and declares that she loves you and you're her best mate, while her 17-stone girlfriend in a cropped top shows you her tits.


Typical Friday night out in an '80s lesbian bar in Manchester.


Tip 24:

Compare average daily use of soap with French person's. There's a reason for all that perfume production...




;)

maroule
22-11-2005, 13:34:49
... yep, the Brits are buying loads of it :D

Fergus & The Brazen Car
22-11-2005, 14:11:38
Originally posted by maroule
... yep, the Brits are buying loads of it :D


To hide the pervasive odour of unwashed French tourists. Quicker than teaching them the correct use of soap.


I know the country produces a lot of cheese, but is that any reason to bring the aroma over too ?


And don't even mention smegma.



Dear god, fetide, ou quoi?


;)

Drekkus
22-11-2005, 14:27:05
Originally posted by Japher
22 - Match wits with Drekkus I'm not allowed near any matches.

Colon
22-11-2005, 15:52:33
Are people afraid you'll figure out how to use them?